I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

It’s not really meat!

me: How was lunch today?

Jack: the cheeseburgers were disgusting so I ate ice cream instead.

me: I thought you liked their burgers? That’s why I didn’t pack you a lunch…

Jack: I decided to actually LOOK at the burger and it was all ground suckers!!

me: What??

Jack: They actually stuck out of the top and you could peel them off! That’s not real meat, mom.

me: Ground suckers…?

Jack: Yeah and if you scratch at the side of it, it turns to liquid!

me: Huh? The meat?

Jack: It’s NOT meat.

me: Did you eat any bites at all?

Jack: Yeah, one, and then threw it away.

me: Did you at least eat whatever came with it? Fries? Veggie? Fruit?

Jack: It didn’t come with anything and the veggies are gross and the fruit was soggy grapes! I told you I ate ice cream. It was cookies and cream on a stick.

me: Ice cream for lunch. How nutritious. And so NOT full of the sugar we’re avoiding. Great, Jack.

Jack: At least I had some energy after that!

(Lord only knows what they put in the “ice cream”!?)

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