Jack: I’m going next doooooorrrr! (He runs for the door)
me: Wait, wait, homework!
Jack: I don’t have any. I forgot it.
me: Those are completely opposite statements. How did you forget your homework?
Jack: I forgot to check my mailbox. We’re soooo busy! We had testing too!
me: Jack… Come on..,What was your homework supposed to be?
Jack: Spelling.
me: Ok. I’ll read your spelling words to you and if you spell them all correctly you can go outside and play next door.
Jack: Yay!
me: Trifold
Jack: T R I F O L D
me: Good. Semicircle.
Jack: I can’t wait to go outside. These are easy!
me: Ahem.
Jack: S E M I DASH C I R C L E
me: Dash? Try again.
Jack: S E M I C I R C L E
me: Yep. How about Biweekly?
Jack: So can we go to Walgreens tomorrow and get that nerf gun?
me: (stare)
Jack: Sigh. B I W E E K L Y!!! Sheesh.
me: Good. Now try—-
Jack: (interrupting) Can we?
me: Jack let’s finish up. Midafternoon. Why aren’t there hyphens in these? Is that right?
Jack. Finish up Midafternoon? I won’t have time to play!!!!
me: That’s the word you have to spell.
Jack: Oh. M I D A F T E R N O O N.
me: Yes. Ok…Triangle.
Jack: Seriously? TRIANGLE!!! So easy.
me: Yep.
Jack: Walgreens? Can we?
me: Maybe.
Jack: But—-
me: There are like 10 more stinking words here. You know them, we’re just going through the motions, I know, but you are finishing. Bisect.
Jack: Sheesh. B I S E C T. (Muttering) … Well I’m getting that gun tomorrow and you can’t stop me.
me: Sigh. And when do you expect to do your homework that you forgot?
Jack: In the morning like I always do. I mean… Um…
Sh*t My 17-Year-Old Says 