I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

The last days of 5th grade

Have you been missing us? Well those of you that see me regularly are certainly not missing us… But those of you in blog land? And there are quite a few of you! I’m doing my best. Really. Lots and lots going on.

Lots.

5th grade is surely coming to an end. 2 more months. Less actually. Then it’s off to (gasp) middle school! Jack talks about it as if he’s simultaneously going to the best vacation ever… Or to a military reform school. All breathy in-awe whispers. Oohhh middle schoooool. So yes he’s excited. But hey, we have to get him out of 5th grade first, people! 

I’m sitting on the deck in the sun, and I should be reading Nick Hornby, but I decided to blog first, finally, and I just realized I have NO idea where Jack even ran off to. Hmmm.

So back to getting Jack out of 5th grade. I’m sure he’ll be fine, but he sure is cutting it close. With the doodling, and the talking, and the crazy bus behavior… However he luckily counterbalances that with 100s on his spelling tests, all homework completed on time, the highest test score in his grade for those standard tests they take. He could have gotten a perfect score, but he was doodling and probably talking… The word “apply” gets used a lot. As in, if only he would.

But he’s happy for the most part, unless we bring up shots, and he’s healthy and he likes to have fun and make people laugh, aka class clown… Sooo…

Here are a few conversations we’ve had recently. They seriously never stop. There’s always more sh*t!! Does this sound like he’s ready for middle school…?

me: You have to wear sports goggles if you want to play soccer. Not debatable.

Jack: But they’re gonna suck and I’ll get laughed at and I won’t be able to see!

me: If you start thinking more positively you’ll see that your whole mood will change. I already said you have to wear them. So what positive thing could you say instead?

Jack: I am positive I’m going to hate wearing these goggles!

me: Sighhh.
So there was thaaaat and that was fun. But how about this?
me: Are you excited about going back to camp?

Jack: Oh yeah! Remember last year… There was that Porta potty and I looked in it and saw half of a chicken nugget? And a bag of Doritos! The blue kind…

me: That’s what you remember?

Jack: Of course! Only the awesome stuff.
Bleh. Now where is that boy? Just called a few neighbors. Hmm.
Jack: (stepping off the bus) Rahma kchx kchx!!!

me: What?

Jack: Rangellos! kk kk!!

me: English please. 

Jack: That is English. IG Bromin style.

me: Oh thanks for the clarification.

Jack: Saggels.

me: Ummm. Ok?
Just heard Jack whiz by on his bike. Ok he’s been warned for not staying where he said he’d be. Remember the days when they couldn’t go anywhere because they couldn’t walk??! Sheesh.

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