I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

10 random things heard today

  
1. Raspberry Preemies? “I thought a preemie was like a German cookie or something.?”

2. Cafetorium. “We have the weirdest name for a room in our school. It sounds like where things go to die.”

3. Flubby. “Mom, you’re looking less flubby these days.”

4. Old age club. “You’re already there mom.” 

5. Separated hamstring. “In gym they make you sit down and put your foot on a box then bend the other leg and then stretch down and try to touch your toe and push this little thing as far as you can then hold it for like 30 seconds or a minute until your hamstring separates and it’s like their shoving a knife in there and twisting!”

6. Too early. “Call the Boarf of Ed and tell them it’s not normal for us to be at the bus stop at 7am. Tell them to start school later! I should still be in bed at 7am!!!!”

7. Pine fresh. “I think Ed peed here on your Ernie doll. He smells all pine fresh.”

8. The plumber is crying. “Of course I just bit my lip, whaddya think, the plumber just bit his lip? Or did I bite the plumbers lip? Geez!!”

9. Raking my head. “Here gimme the brush and let me show you how you’re brushing my hair like a rake and removing my scalp!!!”

10. Exalted leader. “I was just nominated leader of the kids club so I don’t want to go to taekwondo on Thursday because that’s when I’m being sworn in.” (Members = 3. Location = tree.)

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