I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Trick or Nuts

Things you don’t want to hear while trick or treating… Sigh…

I’m thinking it’ll be a few more years before I can totally let Jack go out trick or treating without adult supervision. And by then he’ll be too old.

Jack: Trick or nuts!!

me: (yelling from the curb) Jack knock it off!

Jack: Guys look it says take one. It’s a whole bowl! (I see him bending over the large bowl of candy for at least 30 seconds.)

me: Jack! Just one!

Jack: No it means one of each kind!!

me: Sigh.

Jack: (rings bell…bing bong, waits 2 seconds) Guys!!! No one’s home! (Tears off to the next house. Woman answers door in 4 seconds…oh well, too late)

Jack: Cheap candy here! Don’t bother! 

me: Jaaaack, be nice…geez. And wait for your friend! 

Jack: I AM waiting!!! (He runs to the next house leaving his friend in the 7-foot-high costume to catch up at his own pace)

me: Want me to hold some? That bag looks like it’s ripping. 

Jack: No way, you just want to eat it all.

me: Grrrrr…

Jack: And I’m not sharing either! 

me: Okay we’re done. Last house! 

Jack: Guys, meet me in my mom’s bathroom so we can weigh our loot! 

me: Sigh… And like last year, he forgot about the candy the rest of the weekend and hasn’t mentioned it today yet. We’ll find it in a month…

    
 

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