I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

FEED ME! (Between the hours of 5-9pm)

   

me: Five Guys burgers for dinner?

Jack: Oh awesome!!!

…Jack orders a double cheeseburger and small fries around 5pm. At 6 we head to Taekwondo class…

Jack: What’re you eating?

me: I got some Hershey kisses as a gift. Want one? 

…He eats 4…

(After class)

Jack: I’m starving! What’s for dinner???

me: Uh remember the burger? That was dinner.

Jack: Nooo, THAT was a snack. What’s for dinner??

me: A snack. That’s what’s for dinner. What would you like?

Jack: Oatmeal with raisins and bananas. A double batch!

me: Ok…  I’d better eat some of the leftover salmon we had last night. (I jokingly ask if he wants some)

Jack: (shoveling in the oatmeal) Yesss!! Make it into the sandwich you always make.

me: Really? Avocado and bacon? 

Jack: Oh yeah!

…he finishes the oatmeal and grabs the plate with the sandwich on wheat toast and inhales it…

me: Geez, let it settle… You’re gonna be sick.

Jack: No, I’m still starving. Can I have cinnamon raisin toast?

me: Ugh ok. With butter?

Jack: Oh, soooo good…

… He eats the toast and eyeballs a pear I’m cutting…

me: You want some???

Jack: Yeah, but not until after I eat this…don’t rush me! 

me: Oh of course not. Wouldn’t want it to get “gross” or anything.

Jack: I know, right?

…he eats the pear…

me: Time to brush your teeth and get ready for bed. Enough food ok?

Jack: It’s time for something else now.

…He grabs his book and heads to the bathroom…

10-year-old boys that eat like that are on the 3-poops-a-day schedule, just FYI…

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