me: Five Guys burgers for dinner?
Jack: Oh awesome!!!
…Jack orders a double cheeseburger and small fries around 5pm. At 6 we head to Taekwondo class…
Jack: What’re you eating?
me: I got some Hershey kisses as a gift. Want one?
…He eats 4…
(After class)
Jack: I’m starving! What’s for dinner???
me: Uh remember the burger? That was dinner.
Jack: Nooo, THAT was a snack. What’s for dinner??
me: A snack. That’s what’s for dinner. What would you like?
Jack: Oatmeal with raisins and bananas. A double batch!
me: Ok… I’d better eat some of the leftover salmon we had last night. (I jokingly ask if he wants some)
Jack: (shoveling in the oatmeal) Yesss!! Make it into the sandwich you always make.
me: Really? Avocado and bacon?
Jack: Oh yeah!
…he finishes the oatmeal and grabs the plate with the sandwich on wheat toast and inhales it…
me: Geez, let it settle… You’re gonna be sick.
Jack: No, I’m still starving. Can I have cinnamon raisin toast?
me: Ugh ok. With butter?
Jack: Oh, soooo good…
… He eats the toast and eyeballs a pear I’m cutting…
me: You want some???
Jack: Yeah, but not until after I eat this…don’t rush me!
me: Oh of course not. Wouldn’t want it to get “gross” or anything.
Jack: I know, right?
…he eats the pear…
me: Time to brush your teeth and get ready for bed. Enough food ok?
Jack: It’s time for something else now.
…He grabs his book and heads to the bathroom…
10-year-old boys that eat like that are on the 3-poops-a-day schedule, just FYI…
Sh*t My 18-Year-Old Says 