I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Why it doesn’t pay to “fib”. Okay “lie”.

I took Jack to the gym today and told them he was 13. He’s not of course, but luckily looks like he’s 14. I just wanted to go to the gym and have a nice hour with him and work out. And he wanted to go with me! Is that too much to ask? Yes it is. 

So I drove around for 15 minutes looking for a parking place, went inside and lied about his age. They didn’t have the free week pass anymore. They didn’t have the free month if you sign up and they didn’t have any day passes I could use. So I was going to sign him up for an illegal membership. 

It was so crowded that we waited another 10 minutes for someone to help us. That person was unqualified to do memberships so I could either wait longer or do a $25 day pass. I thought that would be quicker. We signed up and they didn’t have my card on file. I didn’t have my card with me. I told the 20 year old employee that i knew all the numbers but he looked skeptical that anyone my age could remember that many digits. He needed approval to do that. Of course…

That person wasn’t available so I rattled off the digits and he tried to figure out where to enter them. Finally we got clearance. Then the receipt wouldn’t print and I was like It’s ok really! We’re going now! But they insisted on giving me that little paper which I then crumpled up and threw away without breaking eye contact with the kid behind the counter. Lol.

We went to watch a movie and do cardio. Jason Bourne!

No treadmills were available. We hooped in elliptical machines and I turned my phone light on to the horror of everyone in the room. 

Jack: Mom, how does this work?

me: Hold on… (shine light, hit quick start, set levels, etc) There just go and adjust with this button.

I finally hoooed in my machine and got into a rhythm.

3 minutes later…

Jack: I’m bored.

me: Sigh, ok let’s go try some other machines and the prowler.

We had a good time after that and worked out for about an hour. Jack was really getting into it and I liked being with him.

Jack: Soni don’t have a membership?

me: No just the day pass, which is $5 cheaper than the month membership.

Jack: Not really worth it.

me: You probably won’t come back that often so it’s ok. We saved $5! Let’s look on the bright side!

We left the gym only to find a $15 ticket on my windshield for obstructing traffic with my park job in between two other cars that looked to be legally parked!

Jack: Now that wasn’t worth it.

me: Sigh.

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