I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Bedtime

The Signs Are Real

This is what I found as I walked through Jack’s room. 

Jack: You have been warned. 


Double the lightingness 

Is that a word?



Jack: I love my room… I can’t believe I’m so used to it and I’m not in the other small room anymore.

me: I’m glad you like it. I had fun setting it up for you.

Jack and I are in his room right now getting ready for bed. Bella is hanging with us. Moca is in her crate snoozing already. She actually dragged her tired butt in there around 8:45 haha.

me: Can you hand me the Chap Stick and a tissue? (Still at the tail end end end of a nasty 3-week cold)

Jack: (hands me the stuff) This room is so functional! 

me: All we need is a mini fridge and a snack bar.

We always Joke that his new room is like a small apartment. Bathroom, TV, etc.

Jack: We could put the mini fridge next to you and it could double as a night stand.

me: Mhmm.

Jack: (going to pee) Awwwwww! That is rancid! Still smells like asparagus!!!

me: (bleh) Jack flush the toilet.

Jack: (coming back into the room without flushing) Nope, you told me not too.

me: That’s only for middle of the night so you don’t set Moca off thinking it’s morning.

Jack: (flops on the bed with his book) Ahhhhhhh! So functional. And I love this book light with the two lights. It’s like double the lightingness.

me: Hahaha…


Goodnight Moon, and other various things

  
Jack and I were reading Goodnight Moon before bed as a funny way to remember the times when he was little and we used to do those cozy kinds of things to relax. Goodnight Moon has a very nice cadence to it and the pacing if it is pretty soothing. Jack used to know it by heart and whenever I would stop reading, he would fill in the next word for me.

me: …goodnight comb, and goodnight brush, goodnight nobody, goodnight mush, and goodnight to the old lady whispering—

Jack: Anal cavity.

me: Come on, really?

Jack: Really, just think about it. How creepy is an old lady that’s whispering “anal cavity”….oooohhhh

me: Sigh. Goodnight Jack.


OMG, I made a person!

Jack and I were going to bed. I was tucking him in and kind of lingering, waiting for him to fall asleep. This is the time of day when all of his worries come flooding out. It’s usually a rough time, as I try to calm him down, alleviate any worries, and just try to get him to sleep. It doesn’t happen every night, but it happens enough that I try to head it off before it picks up steam!

Jack: Let’s talk 3D printing for a minute.

me: Ok, but make it quick…we need to get to sleep.

Jack: I loved printing the fish fossil today! Can I really go back and book time to print anytime I want?

me: Yeah, that’s the deal. If you get trained, you’re all set and just pay for the hours that you book. So we can book 2 hours per week. (This is something we set up at a local library. They gave us training on the printer and now we can go back anytime and print cool things like phone cases, little statues, and basically anything we can dream up that fits the printer.)

Jack: I can’t wait to print you the elephant phone case.

me: That’s gonna be so cool. It will take awhile though…because it’s kind of big and has interesting detail… (I’m glad he’s in a good mood..) OK, time to settle down and relax…

Jack: (rolls over to get comfy) But I’m such a loser at school!

me: (uh oh, need some quick redirecting) Hey Jack, guess what?

Jack: What?

me: You know what’s cool? Just a few years ago, you didn’t even EXIST! I had to make you, an actual person, and now you exist and have thoughts and stuff. Isn’t that cool?

Jack: No, that’s pretty regular and boring.

me: What? No way. You didn’t even exist, and now here you are with your own brain and your own thoughts, and the coolest part is that I made you. You didn’t even exist in the entire universe a few years ago!

Jack: If you want me to go to sleep just say so. Are you trying to bore me to death?

me: Sigh. Sheesh. Goodnight.

Jack: Goodnight.

That’s not exactly what he said, but it’s pretty close. I think he also said something about a banana being more interesting, or something. Geez. I’m all “making a human” over here!! Hellooooo! That’s pretty cool, and he can’t do it. So… HA! Goodnight.

 

 


Hey Followers! From: Jack

I do this every year! I say hi to all of my fans from around the world. So here we go!

So today I was looking at my list of views from around the world, and the top 2 places for views are: Place 1 – The U.S. of course with 953 views. Place 2 – Romania, with 516 views. It is just amazing that so many people from around the world care about an 11-year-old this much. I’m just astonished by how many people have viewed this blog and have followed and left comments. I didn’t know people liked me this much. (ha ha)

Anyways, just wanted to say hi, and see ya later.

Disclaimer: Do not attempt to reenact, recreate, reincarnate anything said in this short paragraph about followers. All my words are copyrighted by the U.S. patent office (totally made up) but SO real! If you attempt to copy what I say, it won’t be as funny as if I actually said it, AND WE’LL KNOW!! Because it was totally in my own words and I didn’t have a script writer. And I totally typed this myself super fast.

OK bye. (totally didn’t pull a “Frozen” there)

 

P.S. I totally helped Mom photoshop that new header up there. *point point*


No sell outs here!

  
After I stepped out of the shower I asked Jack to come in the bathroom. I pointed to the shelf of soaps and shampoos.

me: What’s this…

Jack: We are NOT going to have mindless product endorsements in THIS house!

me: Ah. So that’s why I washed my hair with conditioner.


Oh he’s gonna kill me for this one someday…

 

 

Jack: Mom, please please stop telling everyone what you call me at home.

me: What do you mean? I don’t tell anyone that…

Jack: You told Grandpa on Sunday!

me: No, actually he guessed.

Jack: But you told him it’s the opposite of this and it sounds like that, so basically you just told him!!

me: But it’s cute!

Jack: It’s emBARRASing!

me: Everyone has nicknames you know.

Jack: Not like that! Can you just use it at home, and maybe just in the morning or something when I’m not really awake??

me: Okay I’ll try.

Jack: Do you promise??

me: Of course I do. I don’t want to embarrass you, but I love you and I just sometimes call you nicknames. It’s a hard habit to break. Plus you’re so cute.

Jack: Oh brother…

me: Okay time for bed. Get in there…

Jack: Do we have school tomorrow?

me: Who the heck knows. Can you hear that wind?

Jack: I measured the snow with my toothbrush and it almost went ALL the way up the handle!

me: Clever… Did you bring it back in?

Jack: Yeah, but it’s down in the basement because I was watching the movie while I brushed.

me: Sigh. Okay, all tucked in and toasty?

Jack: Yeah (big yawn) I’m tired.

me: Get some rest. Goodnight sweet cheeks. I love you.

Jack: Goodnight. I love you too.

me: (whew)

(hee hee…)