Eat food, not too much, mostly plants. (And some mac and yease??)

Who said that? The first part, not the yease part.

Go ahead. Guess.

I’ll wait.

Yeah you can Google it.

(Whistling…)

Why yes it’s Michael Pollan (and yes, he’s related to Michael J. Fox’s wife Tracy. True!) Though Pollan credits Joan Gussow with the statement. Michael, not Tracy. He’s awesome.

If you want to become as fascinated as I am with all of this (a point I will hopefully get to eventually) you should start with Pollan’s NY Times article “Unhappy Meals” and then read all of his books.

(That’s banana art from the original Times article…)

Best to read his books in chronological order for sanity reasons 🙂 They all have food in the title or eating or Omnivore, etc, and they all start to sound alike though they are most definitely distinctly different! Especially his chapters on the apple. Sighhh. Pure bliss. (“Botany of Desire”)

And even his book about tripping on LSD. I mean really. It’s genius. (Take acid, not too much 😂😂)

Sooo anyway, I’m always saying to Jack that we shouldn’t eat anything that our great (or great-great?) grandparents wouldn’t recognize as food. Like hellloooo what’s a cheese puff or a frozen “tv” dinner? Bleh! I first read about this in 2007 when Jack was a wee two-year-old lad. And then I was hooked.

And tonight, as we pulled in the driveway, I noticed a white priority mail box sitting between the garage doors. That’s how the fun started. 🙃🙂

Jack: Hey! Maybe that’s my Vexx sweatshirt!!

me: I don’t think so. And remember I’m the inspector of all boxes from now until Christmas. (I don’t want Jack inadvertently tearing into any Christmas presents that may be showing up in the next few days)

Jack: Let’s see what it is… open it. Uh…it’s from something called I Eat Grass?? Weird…

me: Ummm I have no idea what this is. Seriously. It’s kind of cold though.

We took the box into the kitchen and carefully unwrapped it. Edible packing peanuts spilled out. And there was a silver bubble-wrapped package the size and feel of a large steak. Did someone send me meat??? It was cold like meat haha.

Jack: I’ll be over here. (He ducked down behind the counter)

me: It’s not a bomb.

Jack: (popped his head up) You don’t know that. (Ducks back down)

me: (finally getting the foil pack open) oh man. Hahaha I forgot ALL about this. It’s Mac and Yease! I ordered it off Instagram.

Jack: Wha…?

me: Vegan Mac and cheese. Let’s bake it now, and you have to try it.

Jack: Gimme that. (He has a tree nut allergy so he had to read the label thoroughly) I call this dessert! (we already had sushi in hand for dinner… Quite the combo)

me: OK, let me get this out of the plastic bag and into this pan.

I employed a method not far removed from squeezing the last toothpaste out of a tube…)

Jack: Mom, you always say, and I quote, “Don’t ever eat anything that your great grandparents wouldn’t recognize” and here you are, squeezing something out of a plastic bag that’s called “Yease”.

me: (totally had to crack up at that) Hahaha sooo true! But still, let’s try it.

Jack: Mac and cheese from Kanye West. Great.

me: LOL!!!!

(Jack just came in to remind me that I had left the oven on these last few hours. Sighhh. And I found the vegetable spray in the fridge. I’m really losing it. I have a cold so I get a foggy mom brain free pass tonight.)

We did end up liking the Mac and Yease but we were so full from the sushi that we couldn’t give it our full attention. Left overs for tomorrow’s dinner!!!

Moca took a sniff and wanted some. Haha!

Oh… And don’t forget to read up on all things Pollan!!

Burn before reading

Jack is not a fan of the Twilight series of books, I’m guessing.

Jack: These aren’t mine. Burn before reading.

Just in case anyone stumbled upon the books on his bookshelf.

I removed them 🙂

Goodnight Moon, and other various things

  
Jack and I were reading Goodnight Moon before bed as a funny way to remember the times when he was little and we used to do those cozy kinds of things to relax. Goodnight Moon has a very nice cadence to it and the pacing if it is pretty soothing. Jack used to know it by heart and whenever I would stop reading, he would fill in the next word for me.

me: …goodnight comb, and goodnight brush, goodnight nobody, goodnight mush, and goodnight to the old lady whispering—

Jack: Anal cavity.

me: Come on, really?

Jack: Really, just think about it. How creepy is an old lady that’s whispering “anal cavity”….oooohhhh

me: Sigh. Goodnight Jack.

Bat Boy

We’re at the doctor’s office picking up forms, having a checkup, trying to avoid Jack getting a shot, the usual Mom fun.. School starts tomorrow! Omg…

Jack picks up the baby book – Are You My Mother?

Jack: (In his best deep Batman voice) Are you my Mother? Out of the nest he went but he could not fly…

I almost fell on the floor laughing. The doctor came in and was wondering why we both looked like we had been crying.

(Thanks BatDad)

  
  

The only thing we have to fear… Is Fear Street

Jack and I are at the train station waiting to head to NYC to see his dad. Missed the 3:21 and actually caught the 4!

me: Look, free books! (I poke through the rack in the station)

Jack: I’m gonna use my sonic screwdriver on this soda machine…

me: Hey here’s an R.L. Stine book. Fear Street. Looks good. Want it? (I read the back flap out loud.)

Jack: (in his most extreme sarcastic voice) Mom, FEAR street? Come on!!

me: So

Jack: Those books are so completely predictable!!

Order of the Phoenix – Jack Style

Jack and I just watched the 5th Harry Potter movie. Really good! Which means… Jack finished reading book 5 this weekend, of course. He rarely waits more than a day after finishing the book to start begging to watch the movie.

We had a power outage right in the middle of the movie, which sucked, but it came back on after a couple of hours.

In the meantime I grilled salmon and potatoes plus we had shrimp cocktail. Yum! I’m more motivated when it feels like I’m camping. I also had Jack practice his forms for his black belt test which is in… Gasp… 2 weeks !! Mine too, actually… :O

I even built a fire in the fireplace so we could read later if the power stayed out. Now we have full lights plus a roaring fire and it’s 80 degrees out. Oh well..

I asked Jack to sum up the movie for all of his blogger fans. I couldn’t get much out of him…

Jack: I liked it. It was scary in some parts.

me: Really? That’s it??

Jack: Where’s book 6?!

me: Sigh.

Jack: Wow, it only has 652 pages. I can get this done … In about… Hmmm… I would like to say… Um, If I went straight through every day 24/7 then about … A week. But since that’s not gonna happen… 2 months.

And there you have it. Lets see if his estimate holds true. 🙂

Harry Potter Book 5 better be good

NOT a review.

Jack kind of gave up on those. I may try to coerce him for this last book, but he’s already finished up 732-ish pages of Book 4 and dove right into Book 5. Over 800 pages yo!

Last night we watched the movie. I liked it, just as I did in theaters. Ahhh Cedric Diggory… how you’ve grown…

After you died of course. And moved on to become eternal.

me: Jack, it’s okay. He didn’t really die you know.

Jack: (hiding his tears when Cedric’s dad yells “That’s my boy!”) Sniff…

me: He’s just an actor.

Jack: I know… (more sniffles and wipes)

me: Was it scary?

Jack: No, because I read even scarier stuff in the book!

me: True.

Jack: How come you let me watch this if it’s PG-13?

me: Well, I had to think about it. I figured if you read the book, and were scared or had trouble with any parts, you would tell me, and then maybe I’d hold off on the movie for awhile. But you seemed okay.

Jack: It’s cool how people can pretend to be dead.

me: Well, it may look cool, but it’s just acting.

Jack: How did he know when to die. Did he see the actual spell come out of the wand?

me: That was fake too honey. Probably added in by computers at the end. Someone told him “when you hear this noise, fall down and play dead” or something.

Jack: Oh. Can I start book 5?

me: Don’t you need a break?

Jack: Nope. And I’m telling you, this one better be just as good!

me: I’ll let J.K. Rowling know.

Harry Potter Book 3

I’ll have to get Jack to write a review of the HP books ASAP. He’s devouring them!

I mostly read book one to him at bedtime because I really wanted to get him interested. At first he couldn’t stand the thought of reading about wizards, much in the same way that I couldn’t stand wizards about 10 years ago…until I got past the first chapter and was of course hooked. And of course I was much much older when I was reading the series.

Jack loved book one and immediately started book two. I read some to him but he did a lot on his own at home and at school. Then, after watching the first two movies, Jack grabbed book three and is now almost done. I haven’t really read to him at all from this book so I’m sort of lost again. Oh well.

Jack: I’ll just read the rest of the books by myself, ok?

me: Why? Then I won’t remember what the heck is happening.

Jack: Wellll… You read kinda slow and I don’t like how you change voices and try to do a fake British accent for Hagrid. (He thinks of something…) And you can just wait and see the movie!

me: Sigh.

King Rat or King Jack?

Jack: Mom, am I German?

me: Part…

Jack: Are you?

me: No

Jack: How is that even possible!?

me: You have Daddy’s German part but I don’t have any German part. You have my Russian part and some other parts from both of us…

Jack: Woahhhh, so in World War II I could have totally fought against great grandpa Adam when the Germans attacked London!!!

me: (???) Uh…I guess? Where did you…? Sigh. Never mind.

(anyone else love King Rat??)

What does a urinal taste like?

Well I’m glad you asked. Or wait, I asked didn’t I…

Jack and I sat down to a dinner of kielbasa and roasted cauliflower. Seems rather old country. But it’s cold and somehow the roasting veggies and the fatty meat seemed to suit the evening. We had to top it off with thick slabs of that cake from yesterday, didn’t we. But instead of milk, we had some lemonade left over from dinner. Maybe not the best combo.

Jack: Can you read me some of the Barn book while we eat cake? It’s funny because his son’s name is Pie. Get it?

me: Haha, yeah. But…I don’t think I can read and chew… Here, you can read it while you eat.

Jack starts reading and eating cake…I’m sure I’ll find chocolate crumbs in there next time I read that book, which will be next Fall. I’m weird like that.

Jack: What does this word mean…oh nevermind… (he keeps reading and shoveling in cake)

me: Don’t mess my book!

Jack: Do I have a drink…? Oh… (he drinks the lemonade)… AARRGGHHH! This tastes EXACTLY like the urinal in Home Depot!!! EXACTLY!! (he feigns dying and falls off the chair)

me: And you’ve tasted the urinal?

Jack: I think we can all imagine what THAT tastes like, can’t we??