I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Camp

What rhymes with Akbar?

I got this phone call today from camp: 

Hello, this is not an emergency, Jack is fine, but we just wanted to let you know that there was some trouble at camp today with Jack not listening to his counselor. It happened when he was swimming and he and some other boys were yelling Allah Akbar when they jumped into the pool. We told them to stop but then we heard them yelling again. So we had Jack and his friends come out of the pool. Jack is here on speaker phone and can tell you his part of the story.

Jack: after they told us not to say that anymore, my friend dared me to jump in the pool and say “I’m a snack bar.” So that’s what we were saying after and then we got in trouble again.

me: 😫

Why is this even a thing…

OK, I get the not listening to the counselors and all that, but I think they were actually saying God is great? πŸ™‚


First day of camp – 2017



me: How was the first day?

Jack: Ok.

me: What did you do?

Jack: Stuff.

me: Zipline?

Jack: No.

me: Archery?

Jack: No.

me: Boats?

Jack: No.

me: So you swam the entire day??

Jack: Just one hour.

me: What did you do for the rest of the hours?

Jack: Camp stuff!

me: And the teenage years begin.

Any advice?? πŸ™‚


The biggest complaint about the Cars 3 Movie!

It ended too soon! πŸ™‚ 

Jack and I went to see the movie last night, and we really liked it. It might be in a close tie with the first movie as far as storyline and characters and emotions, etc.  The second movie was OK, but I really liked the first and the third.

I totally didn’t stay until after the credits, so we missed the little Mater movie at the end.

OK, enough about that. πŸ™‚ 

Today was the first official day of camp. Jack has been outside all day, and I’m waiting to pick him up. I wonder if he will be sunburned, or covered in mosquito bites, or none of the above. πŸ™‚

Hopefully there is nothing to report from the camp office, as they have had to do in past years ha ha.

Here are the first words out of Jack’s mouth after he got into the car.

(I predict he will have some good news, maybe about zip lining in, or the fact that he does not want to go swimming anymore because the pool is too cold. Let’s see what he says.)

Jack: I’m starving. I need food!

Well was I close? Lol… he must have worked up a good appetite being outside all day!

And in other random news…

Here’s a photo of Moca’s last trip to NYC …we are in Bryant Park…

She loves to ride the train when I take jack to NYC. Everyone loved her! πŸ™‚


Who’s he trying to impress?

I should have taken a photo…

Jack fussed over his clothes and hit today, I didn’t have to repeatedly ask him to get ready. He went into his closet and pulled out a button up shirt to wear over his tshirt. To camp. Sleeves casually slouched over his elbows. Buttons checked and rechecked. Then he tucked his tshirt in because it was too long. Slowly brushes his long hair over to one side.

I told him he looked great and he was genuinely happy. πŸ™‚

Jack: I need more of these shirts for6th  grade, mom.

me: Ok we can do that.

Jack: Thanks:

me: (liking the manners!) So who are you dressing for today?

Jack: (slowly looks at me as if I have grown two heads) Myself!

And the moment passes. Ah well! πŸ™‚

  


Camp calls. Two in one week?

So today I got a call that jack had misbehaved with his water bottle by squirting someone. He wouldn’t stop when asked. Then he wouldn’t give up his water bottle when asked. THEN he walked away from the counselor and she grabbed his arm and he yelled ASSAULT ASSAULT!!

I had just found a seat with my plate of food at my company picnic. I saw the camp number show up on my phone screen. I inhaled a few bites before I answered because I just KNEW!
me: Sigh, hello?

Camp: Hi, Jack is okay, buuuttt (and she told me the story)

me: So like do I need to come get him?

Camp: Um yeah?

me: I’m at a company function and probably can’t leave for a half hour.

Camp: It’s ok, he’s in the house waiting.

I had to leave my company picnic to go get him. Geez. And, when I got there I got in trouble for packing peanuts in his lunch. Gah!! It’s a nut-free camp but I forgot since jack is only allergic to treenuts. Fail.
Later…

me: Jack… Come on, what happened?

Jack: My friend was squirting me first!

me: But you got caught. Why didn’t you just hand over the water bottle?!

Jack: They didn’t ask nicely.

me: You shouldn’t have walked away…

Jack: They’re not allowed to touch me!

So we had the conversation about how camp counselors are indeed in charge when I’m not there. And they can take his water bottle and they can stop him from walking out of camp. Sigh…

Well, no ipod or video games for the long weekend. And Jack will be writing a nice apology letter to his counselor. This usually buys me a week of beyter behavior. 

I’m tired and ready for sleep! πŸ™‚ 

 


One call a week – from camp now!

I got this phone call yesterday from the camp director. Jack has been in camp one week. One. And not even a full week.

Director: Hello, it’s NOT an emergency and Jack is fine, but I’m calling to let you know that Jack brought (smuggled without Mom’s knowledge) two walkie talkies to camp today and attempted to take over the camp frequency. I had to confiscate them and they are in the office. You can pick them up at the end of the day. Just a reminder, there are NO electronics allowed on camp grounds. 

Later…

me: Jack, what do you want to tell me about this?

Jack: They’re not electronics. They run on batteries helllloooo…

me: Sigh, I mean about the “breaking into the camp frequency” part??

Jack: Well I didn’t succeed…

me: Sigh… 

 


Like a … What???

Normally the answer to that would be “Chainsaw”!!! For those of you that know Limp Bizkit but for this 9 year old, it meant something entirely different.

Jack: But I don’t HAVE any friends at camp!!!

me: Of course you do! You see them every day!

Jack: They don’t like me. (He pouts)

me: Then you have to work on being more likable.

Jack: How does THAT HELP!!

me: It helps a lot. Just be very kind and helpful…(he interrupts)

Jack: How is that LIKE A BULL!!!!????

me: Ohhhhh…. Heh heh