I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Conversations

Test grades and why studying is so important…

Jack: Mom, I got back a Spanish test today.

me: Oh yeah? What’d you get? (Usually Jack trucks me into thinking he did poorly when actually he got a 100.

Jack: 15 out of 30. So not very good.

me: Really? How come you didn’t do that well, did you not study? I don’t remember you studying here so I hope you did in school…

Jack: Not Really.

me: Jack, if you have a test then the days leading up to the test are for studying. You know that.

Jack: it’s usually easy but I did t understand the questions. Oh and by the way, I have another Spanish test tomorrow.

me: Come on Jack, time to study! Get out your book and I’ll help you.

We flip to the page and I start to read exclamations in Spanish which have two answers to choose from as responses. You have to pick the most appropriate response to the first sentence.

me: Okay tell me what this means.. (I read the first exclamation.)

Jack: That means My feet are sore.

me: Ok answer A. Says Don’t take off your shoes and B. Says Take off your shoes. Which is the appropriate response?

Jack. A.

me: Huh? Jack, their feet hurt so why would you say to keep your shoes on. It’s B. Take off your shoes. I can see why your grade was low, it’s not Spanish we need to work on it’s your English! Sheesh.

Jack: This takes place in Argentina, which is full of broken glass probably, so they shouldn’t take their shoes off.

me: ??

Jack: Ok read the next one.

me: (reading poorly in Spanish) Ok what’s that mean?

Jack: it says “I’m tired”.

me: Answer A. Says to go to bed and answer B. Says to get up. Which is the correct response?

Jack: B.

me: Seriously? It’s A Jack… He’s tired so he should go to bed.

Jack: When I’m tired you make me get up for school so A is the right answer.

me: Grrrrrrrrrr…

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Hang up I’m on Instagram!

Said Jack on the phone as I tried to ask him how his day was at school.

This little four-year-old would’ve never said that to his mom!


Funny Jokes

Is that redundant? LOL. Jack and I were driving to school this morning, we missed the bus, sort of on purpose. The alarm went off and I just didn’t want to get up. So I shut it off and pretended that we had a power outage ha ha. But of course cats and dogs have their internal clocks and they won’t let me sleep very long. 😦

Quick update on cats and dogs… Moca caught the lovely virus, or parasite rather, Giardia. This was right before Thanksgiving, and she’s only just now gotten slightly better. Talk about a skinny dog OMG. And Bella went in for dental surgery on Monday so she is in a little bit of pain this week and not eating well… as you could expect.

Jack broke his foot again for the second time, or toe rather, same foot same break same spot same everything.

My house is like an infirmary, the morning routine goes like this, feed the cat, feed the dog, feed the boy, give the cat liquid pain medicine, give the dog one and a half pills for tummy troubles, wrap the boys toe, wipe the dogs foot and other toe because she also has an infection LOL, makes probiotic in the dogs lunch so that the dog walker can feed that to her at noon, repeat.

But it’s the season of CHEER I tell you! Perpetual hope! I’m still smiling.

So, we were driving to school and I was listening to Christmas music and being goofy and telling dumb jokes, and laughing at them by myself naturally.

Jack: that’s not funny.

Me: what? You mean my joke? Oh I get it, it’s not funny because no one’s laughing.

Jack: no, it’s not funny because you don’t know how to tell a joke.

Me: Sigh.


Half-scale Tissue Box

Words I never thought I’d type in the same sentence haha.

I found this box in my office at work and laughed. Everyone always commented on the mini tissue box and it’s been here for months… maybe even since last summer. I can’t quite remember when jack made it.

I move it from surface to surface when I clean. Very rare indeed. And today I moved it again and happened to look at the bottom.

Too funny. Jack has a great sense of humor and he always cracks me up. I’m still working on getting him to use his powers for good! Not evil! 🙂

I recently went to his school conferences and each teacher pretty much had the exact same story to tell:

Jack is a very good student and a lot of fun to have in class. He seems to really enjoy learning and participates quite frequently. He’s known for his humor and one-liners, and if something comical is going on, Jack is probably in the middle of it. We moved his seat so that he wasn’t so centrally located and his friends were moved to the other side. Jack is very smart and does the work very quickly. He might be a bit distracting when he finishes so we are working on having Jim slow down a bit.

me: Jack, I told them to give you another assignment if you complete your work that fast….

Jack: What? How come? I’m smart enough to get it done quick so I shouldn’t get punished.

me: Well… you can’t distract the other kids that need the extra time to do their work.

Jack: That’s not fair.

me: It was sort of a joke so I don’t really think they’ll do that. But all your teachers really like having you in class.

Jack: That’s because I’m likable.

me: And modest.


Cold Weather Makes Things Scarier

Doesn’t it?

Are you scared on a balmy summer evening as you stroll down the street in your neighborhood, looking at the moon and watching for that first star to show itself so you can make a wish. You hear the crickets and the frogs chirping… the sounds of children laughing in the distance as they take one last dip into the pool.

Nah. Nothing scary about that.

Now drop the temperature 50 degrees, add a little wind, some dry leaves scuttling across the pavement, leafless tree branches clacking together like the dried brittle bones of a lonely wandering skeleton, a dog barking in the distance, a twig snaps in the woods nearby…you get the idea…

Jack and I were out on a walk with Moca, it was dark and we carried flashlights. The moon was pretty bright so we turned off the flashlights to let our eyes adjust so we could enjoy the darkness.

me: Are you ready for Halloween next week?

Jack: I need a costume but other than that, yeah.

me: I hope it doesn’t get too cold … I hate walking around freezing my butt off.

Jack: I don’t want it to be freezing because then you can’t even see your costume, but I don’t want it to be warm either. The cold makes everything seem scarier!

He shivered a little with the thought, and I had to agree. The cold Fall weather and longer darker nights make it prime time for some good scares. We will definitely watch some classic scary movies this weekend and into next week. We just finished the original IT by Stephen King what are some of your go-to scary movies? Comment and let us know!


Wordless Wednesday (I lie)

There are a few words. Always.

Random Wednesday along with Wordless Wednesday. Why not make that a THiNG!

I like to use cliches. Sometimes. Like haste makes waste and the early bird gets the worm. Jack likes to A. Pretend he doesn’t know what they mean. B. Insult the cliches. Or C. Secretly covet them and use them later in his own conversations. I bet his kids will definitely be sitting on pins and needles waiting for their dad to get the lead out. Etc. haha.

Jack hates these 2 in particular. Well maybe not hates but strongly annoyed with…

1. You sound like a broken record.

Jack: Does that mean like a record from the 70s? And if it’s broken how does that even work?)

2. Kill 2 birds with one stone

Jack: what does that even mean? I don’t think anyone has ever even killed one bird with one stone.

And so on. Have you met Jack? King of the one liners? I told him he should write the one liner handbook. Each zinger would be a new chapter. It would be a very long book.

I took out the recycling today and scribbled in the bottom of a card oats box were the words “Dank Memes”. Sigh.

For the rest of the post I will go wordless 🙂

😎

😍


Boy Brand

Well, for those of you who are still checking my blog, ha ha, it’s been a little while since I’ve posted due to the fact that school has started, and we are just so darn busy!

Jack is now in 8th grade and really likes his teachers and his classes, yay!

So far there hasn’t been any homework drama, and the assignments haven’t been terribly difficult so that makes both of our lives a lot easier! Though they do get quite a bit of homework, more than I appreciate actually…

So, our afternoons are generally taken up by snacktime, dog time, homework time, dinner time, and a very tiny bit of downtime, after the very important shower time. 😦

Jack is at the age now where his appearance is more important than ever, though I know that will continue to ramp up for a few more years… 😬

The thing I like about Jack is that he always had his own style; he has pretty much branded himself since as far back as I can remember…. Jack has more than a dozen very cool snap back hats, with all sorts of very cool and trendy designs, and unless he’s in school, you will rarely find him without one on his head. His hair has always been on the longish side, though sometimes he gets it cut short and surprises everyone. I like him best with hair on the longer side, so he has a sort of casual skater-dude kind of look about him.

Jack can be particular about the length of his shorts the tallness of his socks and the type of shirt he wears. Everything kind of has to match. I remember back when he was two or three and he started dictating exactly what he would wear each day. I was shocked thinking I would have a few more years before I had clothing arguments with my little boy, (if at all) but there he was, telling me what he would and would not wear. I couldn’t just grab whatever and put it out for Jack to put on in the morning for school, or even for play.

………

Young Jack: you can’t wear long sleeves with shorts mom, and you can’t wear short sleeves with long pants. Don’t you know that they don’t go together! Everything has to match!

me: Sigh…

……….

So began my schooling in Jack’s wardrobe choices.

Now that he’s older, I’ve seen him break the taboo rule and embrace the fashion faux pas, and wear short sleeves with jeans, or a long sleeve shirt with shorts, because frankly, when you live in Connecticut, you never know what the weather is going to be. And, the schools are so hot that you need to layer just in case you have to peel something off after gym class or before you get on the bus and suffocate.

Now, I only have to worry about Jack misplacing specific articles of clothing. And I mean … specific.

For example… He’s very much into Keith Haring, and has a few shirts with his art on them. Look out if you can’t find that specific shirt in the morning. There will be hell to pay. Mainly by me naturally. 🙂 sometimes, Jack misplaces his very special newest hat, and we have to stop everything and tear the house apart to try to find it. Usually it’s wherever he dropped it last, but sometimes he doesn’t remember where that is. And of course, over the last year or two he’s lost a few very important hats:-(

Jack needs his sneakers tied a certain way, so they are easy to get on and off, and this sometimes takes extra time but it’s part of what makes him Jack. 🙂

He recently purchased a really cool pair of Vans that he designed himself online. They are really nice! And of course they enforce the “brand” that is Jack.

I’m typing this blog, and it feels so late, but I just checked the time and it’s only 4:45 PM ha ha. That was a nice surprise 🙂

If approved, I will be able to post some

Pics of Jack’s hat collection. But, for now, here is a quick peek at his new Vans 🙂

Jack: Are they here yet? It said two days. Check the email!!

me: Ummm bad news…(I check the email and it now says two to three weeks for custom orders)

Jack: Aaarrrggghhhh! Why are they such liars!

me: Yeah not sure but that’s annoying. Sorry, we can check next week. Or in two weeks.

Jack: (next day) Hoe about now? Check your email.

me: Sigh…

Repeat each day for two and a half weeks. 🙂