Conversations, Subaru Confessions

Saying no. A lot.

First drive! :O

Jack and I were driving home from his rowing practice the other night. Well, he was driving and I was pretending to not be scared. Kidding. He’s not bad for a beginner driver. I’ve seen worse adult drivers with years of experience. Trust me!

Rowing! Jack 2nd from left.

It was an amazing day, sunny and warm, and the sunset wasn’t going to happen for at least another hour and a half.

me: Jack, when we get home you should come for a walk with me and Moca.

Jack: No thanks. I want to shower and eat, I’m starving.

me: How about 10 minutes. Just to enjoy the last nice hour before it gets dark.

Jack: No.

me: 5 minutes? We can walk around the yard?

Jack: Geez, I literally have to tell you “no” more times than YouTube premium offers. Come on!

me: ?

Conversations, Digital Technology

Permit Test Day!

Jack is getting his driver’s permit right now. Oh Lordy!! Stay off the roads! 🤣

The security guy at the door of the DMV stopped to check our mountain of paperwork.

Guy: What’re you here for?

Jack: Permit test.

Guy: How old are you?

Jack: 16

Guy: Wow, you are tall!

We’re used to that kind of reaction. Anyway, Jack already passed in what seemed like 5 minutes. (Hoping they actually tested him!) We now have another driver in the household.

me: We need to stop at the store and get a few things for tonight.

Jack: Can I drive to the store?

me: Sigh.

And so it begins. He’s had the slip of paper exactly 15 minutes haha. I’ll definitely share more stories of how THiS goes.

In the meantime…

I have a few more funny texts that I found that made me laugh so I’m sharing them now. Jack is the gray and I’m the blue. As if you couldn’t tell hahaha.

(I think I answered him in like two minutes!)

____

(Jack and friends were in Target haha)

____

(Sigh)

____

(Really…)

____

(No clue hahahaha)

____

(I think this was when PoBo kept jumping in my trash can)

____

(As always)

Well that’s it for today, have a great weekend everyone!

Conversations, Digital Technology

It’s Been a Minute

February blew right into March and now look where we are! My last post was Feb. 1. Wow, how the time flies and how busy we’ve been! So much has happened in that short couple of minutes since I last wrote…

Some of us have started our COVID vaccines, we’ve got a driver’s permit test on the horizon (omg), SAT’s happened, Jack did great, Jack’s rowing practices started up again, a few babies-to-be have been announced in my family, work trips are planned for the fall (what???), it almost deceivingly feels … normal-ish.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We see what’s happening in the rest of the world so we’re not out of the pandemic woods yet. But, it’s nice to see the season’s start to change from cold to slightly less cold (LOL spring in CT is not a thing). We had some amazing warm days and today I wore the full winter coat, hat, gloves and even had snow pelt down on my car! It’s just a cruel cruel season switch as always. And then it becomes 90 degrees and humid.

Ok, enough about the weather. How are YOU doing? We haven’t connected in awhile! Leave a comment about what’s new with you and how you’re handling 2021 so far!

School is still remote for the rest of the year, our choice. In the fall Jack will be in 12th grade. Full time in-person! That will be strange. Right now we’re two remote workers who pass each other in the hall in our sweats, carrying mugs of tea or hot chocolate as we shuffle to the next class/meeting. Very strange indeed, but I gotta say, the animals LOVE having us home. They are so spoiled with attention, and Moca gets walks all day long. PoBo and Luna are taking turns going to the ER because they are so EXCITED, they want to eat ribbons off of packages and have surgery, or run and do a flip off the balcony to break a foot bone. It’s been so FUN!

My COVID stimulus checks are directly proportional to the vet bills I’ve paid in the last year. 100%. Sigh.

So, this was a conversation that I had with my friend Kris, who showed me a post where some mom took her kids’ text messages and made them into wall art. Some were crude, most were funny, and any mom of a teen could totally relate. That led to me spending literally an hour on my phone combing back through my texts to find these “gems” of Sh*t that Jack Said!

Hope to leave you on a cheery note. 😉

(There are just so many, I could make like 10 posts out of this! Maybe I will post a wee bit more frequently now!)

For clarification…I’m blue.

I think we were both getting cranky being on multiple meetings/classes and also trying to look at Jack’s rowing college recruiter website haha.

I guess I only buy fake cereal

No clue.

Well, he IS always hungry. Not sure what was an hour long that would prevent him from eating haha.

The classic answer when one asks the boy to help.

I guess I’m a criminal. Or “they” are?

I stand corrected.

There are a few more, well quite a bit more actually.

Deserves a part deux and trois I’m thinking.

Merci for reading this far! 🙂

Conversations

Social Media Advice from Jack

me: Wow Jack you got over 69 likes on your birthday post already.

Jack: Nice!

me: I get about 10-15 if I’m lucky.

Jack: That’s because you post 50 pictures of a tree.

me: I like my trees.

Jack: And you post every day and spam everyone’s feed.

me: Spam? They can unfollow me. I post what I like so I can go back and look at it. How often should I post in your opinion?

Jack: Like once a month.

me: Gasp!! I post at least once a day.

Jack: Well get it down to once a week maybe or just do one post with all the photos you would have posted each day.

me: But then I can’t see them unless I swipe.

Jack: But then you’re not annoying people who don’t want to see your posts all over their feed. You’ll lose followers.

me: I don’t care about followers.

Jack: Clearly.

Sigh.

Conversations, Uncategorized

11 Years of Blogging

How Jack sometimes shows up for remote learning.

Wow, I was just thinking back over the many, many years of blogging that I’ve done, and how I should be in sort of a rhythm with this… yet I almost forgot to update the title to Sh*t My 16 Year Old Says! I’ve done this every year right after Jack’s birthday but for some reason almost forgot. So, yes, Jack is 16. Sixteen!!! How many of you can even believe you’ve been reading this for so long. It’s all been a blur on my end. Ha!

It has been a long time omg. I know URL says “6 year old”, but trust me I started on Blogspot with “5 year old” and then changed the URL when I moved to WordPress. I still regret that 11 years later, but ah well, I don’t have a time machine and can’t go back to change that.

Jack had two friends over to celebrate his birthday, which was last week, and it was nice to have noise in the house. I mean, the animals are noisy, don’t get me wrong, but this was good to hear after the many months of COVID-related semi-isolation. It’s really getting to us!

We went to a store yesterday and we had to think back to the last time Jack was in a store… I swear it was like 6+ months ago at least! All those things we used to take for granted and now it’s like a HUGE deal to walk around shopping with a mask on and following arrows and keeping 6 feet away from everyone.

I’m happy to report that the GIANT cake we had last week is finally gone. The boys at the last of it along with many other carb-loaded food items.

I have to say, listening to these guys talk while they ate dinner, and then breakfast, and again when I drove them home, made me realize just how different their conversations are compared to the conversations I had when I was 16. I mean really, cultural appropriation? I don’t think so.

Jack: Is this Despocito?

me: Absolutely. Don’t hate on this song.

Friend 1: Totally cultural appropriation but I’m not gonna hate.

me: Cultural appropriation because they’re singing in Spanish?

Friend 2: But Bieber didn’t know Spanish before this song and he had to learn it.

me: Well, he learned it to give the right flavor to his song. That’s awesome. Madonna did it back in the 80’s with La Isla Bonita.

Jack: Yeah but cultural appropriation wasn’t a thing back then.

Friend 1: Hello, the Native Americans!

me: We’re just singing a song here that combines two languages, so we can take it down a notch. What about Run DMC and Aerosmith mixing rock and rap? That was the best!

Jack: (switches the conversation) Something something Mandalorian…

They all jump on board and talk Star Wars.

me: That should be your new podcast since your gaming podcast kinda dried up.

Jack: Guys, we should totally do a Star Wars podcast.

Friend 2: I don’t know as much about it as you.

Jack: Oh yeah, get this, my mom roasted me in the bank the other day. I was getting my debit card and they were giving me $1.00 to put in my savings so I could use the app and do the transfer, and my mom goes “Hey, that’s more than you earned on your podcast.”

Friend 1: That’s cold yo.

I honestly could listen to these guys all day. They want on about annotating something for some class and again it was just so different from what I talked about at that age. I still can’t believe I have a giant 16 year old in my house. He’s upstairs on XBox right now, being quite loud, laughing with whomever he’s playing with. Good times. 🙂

Another class extra credit assignment from October. Jack was the first to submit it of course!

Sometimes I quickly sketch Jack when he’s not looking. Shhhhhh.
Jack literally showing me what he wanted for Christmas or his birthday. Yeah, I forgot. So he bought it for himself with the shiny new debit card. :O
Conversations, Pets

Playing with the pets

Jack: OMG look at Luna, she just did the stanky leg up the stairs!

me: I’m trying to relax before bed…play with them out there.

Jack: I’m bringing the fun in here!

(He drags a long string into my bedroom and both cats come galloping in)

me: Noooo.

Jack: Watch! PoBo is standing on two legs!

me: I play with them every day. I get it.

Jack: But this is ME playing with them. Look.

me: Gah!!! (Jack drags the string on my bed and Luna comes flying up)

Jack: Look, she looks like she’s conducting an orchestra! (PoBo is batting in the air at the string)

Suddenly PoBo grabs the string in her mouth and walks away. She’s done haha.

Where’s Luna? Under my bed looking cranky lol.

Typical night at my house. And in other news../

Jack: Oh so can I stay up and play the new Call of Duty Cold War?

me: Wha? Why can’t you play tomorrow after school?

Jack: Because there’s something magical about playing a game right when it comes out.

me: But it’s going to be late on a school night.

Jack: I have straight A’s.

me: Sigh. Ok.

Now the cats are all wound up, Jack’s all wound up and I’m all wound up! 🙄😂

Conversations, School

German Pitbull (It’s not what you think)

Jack is still practicing German on the Duo Lingo app and I’m getting pretty far along with French on the same app. (#2 in the Sapphire League yoooo!) I think Jack is also doing Spanish… Ambitious kid…

He was practicing his German in the kitchen while I made dinner. I had just come home from work, and in the car I was listening to our old Tae Kwon Do CD’s for fun. I heard all the classic up-tempo music which brought me right back to my martial arts class, when we used to have fitness days and were allowed to rock out to “Western” music. LOL!

Katy Perry, Firework… Justin Timberlake, Bringing Sexy Back… etc.

I was in the kitchen singing Ke$ha and Pitbull’s song “Timber” and heard Jack practicing his German. I started singing Pitbull in a German accent … “Sving your padner rownd and rownd”, I was really not realizing I was doing it hahaha.

Jack: Can you please not sing Pitbull in German?! I’m trying to practice here!

me: Sving your padner rownd and rownd, In dem Zahn Zvischenraum! (adding a little German dental speak in there from when I was in Cologne haha)

Jack: Ugh!!!

me: Okay sorry, geez.

Jack; I really need you to not be doing that right now.

And, my fun time was cut short by the tall boy. I bet he went up to his room later and started humming my version of the song. LOL!

Camp, Conversations, Uncategorized

At least it’s not MY name!

Jack and I were in the car driving to camp.

Yes camp! They had some that were actually going on in person this summer! The kids would arrive, mask on, get their temp taken at the curb, get hosed with hand sanitizer and then get ushered (at a safe distance from the other kids) into the building.

So, we were on our way to art camp! Yes ART camp! Jack took portrait drawing and ink illustration and finally spray paint/graffiti classes. I was so excited for him. And he actually loved them.

Ok…soooo we were almost there and it was getting really bright and sunny all of a sudden, so I reached for my sunglasses.

Jack: Ohhhh, you have THE sunglasses.

me: THEE?

Jack: Yeah.

me: Thee what?

Jack: THE sunglasses, you know…?

me: No I don’t. What glasses do I have?

Jack: Haha, THE ones…

me: You mean lesbian sunglasses?

Jack: (almost spitting out the water he was drinking.) NOOO! Uggghhh hahaha, the other kind.

me: Ummm. Gay? Because I’m not, you know…

Jack: (ignores that) But you don’t have the hair to go with it.

me: To go with WHAT? Geez, we’re pulling in here so you have about 5 seconds.

Jack: Karen sunglasses. THE sunglasses that Karens wear.

me: Ha! Oh really? These are considered Karen sunglasses?

Jack: Yeah they’re not lesbian sunglasses.

me: Well good because I already have a Subaru. And I do know a few Karens that are lesbians!

Jack: On that note…

He hopped out and took his dose of hand sanitizer like a pro. They looked quizzically at the thermometer for a minute and I thought he might have registered on the infected scale, but he was good to go.

I hardly think my sunglasses are Karen style but I’m going to have to pay closer attention when I hear an outburst from someone in public.

😉

(I think that’s actually Kate from Kate plus 8?)

Conversations, Weather

Quote of the day – In German

Herr Jack: Hör auf zu reden, du bringst mich zum Niesen

😂

Or…

Jack: Stop talking, you’re making me sneeze.

He’s practicing German on the Duo Lingo app and I kept trying to repeat everything he was saying in my most serious German accent.

Jack wasn’t laughing. But for some reason he was sneezing!

And ironically I just started sneezing as I typed this.

Must be the messed up barometric pressure from the incoming storm and tornado warning!!! Gotta go!

😳

Conversations, Digital Technology, Phone Calls, Uncategorized

Grandpa’s introduction to tech

Specifically the iPhone 7.

phonecartoon

Jack’s Grandpa, my dad, is not computer literate and up until about 2 weeks ago had a push-button flip phone. His idea of technology is the ATM machine which he still uses with the help of the bank manager at his local TD branch. He knows the manager by name, naturally, and all the tellers know him.

I got my dad a cell phone a few years back for the simple reason of safety and updates, since I live in CT and he lives in MA. I found a very cheap and very reliable service through Net10, and literally paid $16 per month for him to have cell service. Boy did he struggle with that cell phone. He didn’t know the difference between the green send button and the red hang up button (mostly because he’s red/green colorblind LOL), because he wouldn’t ever put his glasses on and was guessing at which button to push.

Over the months he learned to successfully send and receive calls, but still preferred to talk to people via the wall-mounted kitchen phone, which thankfully had been updated at one point from the original yellow rotary phone. And that was probably the first and only upgrade it got.

We (ok “I”) recently decided that it was time for him to have an iPhone for the simple fact that he could Facetime with all the grand kids and even with the very first GREAT grand kid. If I had known the trauma I would have to endure to simply get him to make a call on this phone (which now he will only do via Siri), I would have opted to upgrade him to a newer push-button phone, albeit with bigger buttons. Sigh. I was trying to help.

Jack: Grandpa Face-timed me today.

me: What?? Really? OMG, how!

Jack: He figured it out I guess. But when I answered, he asked ME why I was calling HIM!

me: He dialed you by mistake?

Jack: I don’t know… he had no clue what was happening or why I could even see him.

me: Well he must have butt dialed you, but that’s so weird! I had showed him how to Facetime before so he knows what that is.

Jack: He was walking to the store and was very confused.

me: Sigh.

TWO WEEKS EARLIER:

me: Dad, so you have to turn the phone ON before you use it and enter your passcode.

Dad: This button?

me: Call that the “Home” button from now on so we are saying the same thing.

Dad: Now what? I just push the numbers in?

me: Yes, the ones we set up for you. Push them now.

Dad: Okay, now what?

me: Now you’re on the HOME screen. See the little phone at the bottom?

Dad: The bottom of what? I’m holding the phone.

me: No, the little green (sigh) I mean the phone receiver icon at the bottom.

Dad: What’s an icon?

me: Seriously? The picture! Of the phone! At the bottom…

Dad: Ok, so what do I do?

me: Just touch the phone icon and then you can start to make calls.

Dad: Do I have to enter my secret code again here?

me: No, that’s the keypad like on a phone. I mean it IS a phone key pad, sigh, you now can dial someone’s number. When the numbers are dark, you enter your passcode, when they are white, you’re in the phone keypad. Try to dial my cell phone and I’ll test it with you right now.

Dad: (presses one number for like 5 seconds). It’s not working. I got an “edit” message.

me: Sigh… no it’s a TOUCH screen so just gently touch it. (I wait). No a little harder than that but not more than a split second.

(He punches in my phone number, supposedly.)

Dad: Now what?

me: After you punch in the numbers, hit the green phone icon.

Dad: Again? How many times do I need to hit that button before I can make a call?? On the old phone you just pick up and dial. I thought technology was supposed to make things easier. I hit that button already three times!

me: Just. Hit. The, Button.

Dad: I have to dial the area code?

me: Yes. Always.

Dad: Even for local calls?

me: Yes, because you’re not…  Ugh, just yes. Always.

Dad: Ok, hold on. Is it ringing? (I just stare at him) It’s not working.

me: Gimme, let me see.

Dad: Maybe Jack should help me. He would start with the basics, you’re all over the place.

me: I’m teaching you to dial a simple phone call. This IS the basics.

Dad: Well you’re not very good at it.

me: Oh, look, you made a typo in my phone number. (I pause). Do NOT ask me what a typo is. Technology doesn’t remove the English language from your brain.

Dad: Well I don’t have my glasses on!

me: Well… get your glasses on!

(I wait… and wait.)

me: Where’d you go??

(I wait….)

Dad: Ok, I couldn’t see the glasses…it took me a minute…now I can see. What do I push again? The screen went back to black.

me: Sigh. Enter your passcode.

Dad: Didn’t I already do that?

me: SOB…

TWO WEEKS LATER, AFTER THE RANDOM FACETIME CALL TO JACK

me: That was so funny how Grandpa called you. I was dying! He has no clue still after 7 hours of me teaching him and writing stuff down for him to follow.

Jack: Mom, you should let me teach him. I would start with the basics.

(OMG Jack sounds just like my dad!!!)

And, I’m exhausted just typing a portion of this story for you to read. If you repeat the top back and forth, oh about 25 more times, throw in some F-bombs from me (and I don’t swear in front of my dad), you’ll sort of be where I am right now.

TWO DAYS AGO:

me: (grabbing my cell) Hello?

Dad: Hey I made a call!

me: Wow, so you figured out the difference between a keypad and the passcode?

Dad: No, I just use Siri and it calls you.

me: Sigh.

Dad: Hey, so if I ask it a question do I always have to say Hey Siri, or can I just keep asking questions?

me: It’s not a companion, it’s a computer. Sigh.

Dad: So… that’s a yes??

LOLLLLL!

Please send wine.

toon662