Conversations, Weather

Quote of the day – In German

Herr Jack: Hör auf zu reden, du bringst mich zum Niesen

😂

Or…

Jack: Stop talking, you’re making me sneeze.

He’s practicing German on the Duo Lingo app and I kept trying to repeat everything he was saying in my most serious German accent.

Jack wasn’t laughing. But for some reason he was sneezing!

And ironically I just started sneezing as I typed this.

Must be the messed up barometric pressure from the incoming storm and tornado warning!!! Gotta go!

😳

Conversations, Digital Technology, Phone Calls, Uncategorized

Grandpa’s introduction to tech

Specifically the iPhone 7.

phonecartoon

Jack’s Grandpa, my dad, is not computer literate and up until about 2 weeks ago had a push-button flip phone. His idea of technology is the ATM machine which he still uses with the help of the bank manager at his local TD branch. He knows the manager by name, naturally, and all the tellers know him.

I got my dad a cell phone a few years back for the simple reason of safety and updates, since I live in CT and he lives in MA. I found a very cheap and very reliable service through Net10, and literally paid $16 per month for him to have cell service. Boy did he struggle with that cell phone. He didn’t know the difference between the green send button and the red hang up button (mostly because he’s red/green colorblind LOL), because he wouldn’t ever put his glasses on and was guessing at which button to push.

Over the months he learned to successfully send and receive calls, but still preferred to talk to people via the wall-mounted kitchen phone, which thankfully had been updated at one point from the original yellow rotary phone. And that was probably the first and only upgrade it got.

We (ok “I”) recently decided that it was time for him to have an iPhone for the simple fact that he could Facetime with all the grand kids and even with the very first GREAT grand kid. If I had known the trauma I would have to endure to simply get him to make a call on this phone (which now he will only do via Siri), I would have opted to upgrade him to a newer push-button phone, albeit with bigger buttons. Sigh. I was trying to help.

Jack: Grandpa Face-timed me today.

me: What?? Really? OMG, how!

Jack: He figured it out I guess. But when I answered, he asked ME why I was calling HIM!

me: He dialed you by mistake?

Jack: I don’t know… he had no clue what was happening or why I could even see him.

me: Well he must have butt dialed you, but that’s so weird! I had showed him how to Facetime before so he knows what that is.

Jack: He was walking to the store and was very confused.

me: Sigh.

TWO WEEKS EARLIER:

me: Dad, so you have to turn the phone ON before you use it and enter your passcode.

Dad: This button?

me: Call that the “Home” button from now on so we are saying the same thing.

Dad: Now what? I just push the numbers in?

me: Yes, the ones we set up for you. Push them now.

Dad: Okay, now what?

me: Now you’re on the HOME screen. See the little phone at the bottom?

Dad: The bottom of what? I’m holding the phone.

me: No, the little green (sigh) I mean the phone receiver icon at the bottom.

Dad: What’s an icon?

me: Seriously? The picture! Of the phone! At the bottom…

Dad: Ok, so what do I do?

me: Just touch the phone icon and then you can start to make calls.

Dad: Do I have to enter my secret code again here?

me: No, that’s the keypad like on a phone. I mean it IS a phone key pad, sigh, you now can dial someone’s number. When the numbers are dark, you enter your passcode, when they are white, you’re in the phone keypad. Try to dial my cell phone and I’ll test it with you right now.

Dad: (presses one number for like 5 seconds). It’s not working. I got an “edit” message.

me: Sigh… no it’s a TOUCH screen so just gently touch it. (I wait). No a little harder than that but not more than a split second.

(He punches in my phone number, supposedly.)

Dad: Now what?

me: After you punch in the numbers, hit the green phone icon.

Dad: Again? How many times do I need to hit that button before I can make a call?? On the old phone you just pick up and dial. I thought technology was supposed to make things easier. I hit that button already three times!

me: Just. Hit. The, Button.

Dad: I have to dial the area code?

me: Yes. Always.

Dad: Even for local calls?

me: Yes, because you’re not…  Ugh, just yes. Always.

Dad: Ok, hold on. Is it ringing? (I just stare at him) It’s not working.

me: Gimme, let me see.

Dad: Maybe Jack should help me. He would start with the basics, you’re all over the place.

me: I’m teaching you to dial a simple phone call. This IS the basics.

Dad: Well you’re not very good at it.

me: Oh, look, you made a typo in my phone number. (I pause). Do NOT ask me what a typo is. Technology doesn’t remove the English language from your brain.

Dad: Well I don’t have my glasses on!

me: Well… get your glasses on!

(I wait… and wait.)

me: Where’d you go??

(I wait….)

Dad: Ok, I couldn’t see the glasses…it took me a minute…now I can see. What do I push again? The screen went back to black.

me: Sigh. Enter your passcode.

Dad: Didn’t I already do that?

me: SOB…

TWO WEEKS LATER, AFTER THE RANDOM FACETIME CALL TO JACK

me: That was so funny how Grandpa called you. I was dying! He has no clue still after 7 hours of me teaching him and writing stuff down for him to follow.

Jack: Mom, you should let me teach him. I would start with the basics.

(OMG Jack sounds just like my dad!!!)

And, I’m exhausted just typing a portion of this story for you to read. If you repeat the top back and forth, oh about 25 more times, throw in some F-bombs from me (and I don’t swear in front of my dad), you’ll sort of be where I am right now.

TWO DAYS AGO:

me: (grabbing my cell) Hello?

Dad: Hey I made a call!

me: Wow, so you figured out the difference between a keypad and the passcode?

Dad: No, I just use Siri and it calls you.

me: Sigh.

Dad: Hey, so if I ask it a question do I always have to say Hey Siri, or can I just keep asking questions?

me: It’s not a companion, it’s a computer. Sigh.

Dad: So… that’s a yes??

LOLLLLL!

Please send wine.

toon662

Conversations, History

10 questions I still can’t answer!

I had to dig out this blog post from 2011 after finishing a “Supernatural” podcast episode on past lives. (Go find it in Spotify, hosted by Ashley Flowers, part of the Crime Junkie podcast with Brit!) omg love them!

This episode ended with a retelling of a story o am familiar with, the little boy that claimed to be a WWII fighter pilot. He claims to have been reincarnated and could even remember being in heaven and “picking” his parents.

When Jack was small, maybe 3 or 4, he would constantly tell me that he picked his dad and me to be his parents while he was up in heaven. Jack was always very shy about telling me and it felt like he was secretly pleased about knowing this but wasn’t sure if I would believe him.

First of all, we are not religious and didn’t talk a lot about heaven when Jack was 2 or 3. I find the whole concept very interesting and would love to k ow of any parents out there have had similar conversations with their kids.

If this were true it would be so fun to learn more, however those memories are usually lost when children enter school. Jack used to say a lot of eccentric things!

This old blog post from 2011 showcases a top 10 list of questions I still can’t answer. 🙂

Enjoy!

Conversations

My 15-yr-old-boy, what a talker

Said no mom ever.

Grunts are the main mode of conversation. Actually, I would take a grunt, because half the time Jack can’t even hear me talking because of whatever is plugged into his ear. After 3 repeats I have to do the shoulder tap. Blank stare. “What??”

Sigh.

So, mainly we communicate via text even when he’s up in his room. Why bother with all the walking and yelling up the stairs, right?

Well, now Jack doesn’t pay attention to his phone (only when his mom calls or texts, ahem…) actually his dad complains of the same thing so it’s not just me. Anyway, I still crack up when I go back and look at our texts. Is this what you all are going through with your teens? Lol. I mean really.

(That’s Jack’s opinion on the food selection at home)

This is me reminding Jack that he MUST answer his parents when they text or call. I mean come on!

And what’s with the horse dude????

This one is just weird (well maybe I’m weird too now that I read it through…) and yes this actually happened in an executive meeting. Picture me with my phone flashlight crawling under the table to find (save) a tick! I met it out the side door hahahahaha. Ok so I’m a little strange. But that tuck was more afraid of me. I could see it in his 42 eyes.

But this is about Jack not responding to his mom! Let’s all remember that!!

😂

Conversations, Grammar, Uncategorized

Grammar Police, Done Real Good

police

Disclaimer: I’m typing this with PoBo on my chest as I sit in bed… the laptop is at my furthest arm’s reach away. Be gentle with the judging of typos.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled post.

I know when to use “well” and “good” in a sentence. Really I do.

Question: How are you? Answer: I’m well thanks, how are you?

Though when I’m asked, “How are you?” I respond, “Good, how are you?” Sigh. It’s because EVERYbody does it.

It’s kind of like how EVERYone uses “I” instead of “me” in a sentence because they think they’re using it correctly.

Correct: She went to the store with Joe and me.

Incorrect: She went to the store with Joe and I.

Correct: Jack and I went to the store.

Incorrect: Jack and me went to the store.

I’m not sure why I am off on a tangent with this, but it’s a pet peeve of mine. I was always taught that you need to break the sentence apart to know when to use “I” or “me”. So with the first sentence “She went to the store with Joe and me” you can test it out by saying “She went to the store with Joe” or “She went to the store with me”. See? That works. The incorrect use of “I” in that sentence wouldn’t work because the sentence broken apart would be “She went to the store with I”.

I is always the subject and me is always an object. (haha, me is always an object…lol cave talk.)

I also hate the your vs. you’re confusion, but that’s a rant for another day.

me: Jack go get ready for bed, brush your teeth good.

Jack: You don’t even know basic grammar. It’s “brush your teeth well”.

me: I know that. I’m just being lazy.

Jack: Or ignorant.

me: Sigh.

Conversations, Digital Technology

WiFi’s down. Hold me.

What a great time for WiFi to go down… when there’s not a lot to do but binge watch some favorite shows! Aaahhhh!

Jack was trying to do his math tutoring online and it conked out right in the middle of his session.

Jack: (via text) Mom the WiFi is down. I tried restarting it and it’s not working. Can you call them and tell them?

me: I’m in a meeting right now so you have to call.

Jack: What do I say??

me: Tell them what’s happening. Keep me posted if it comes back up.

(Later, before I left work…)

me: Is it working?

Jack: No, not at all.

me: Try connecting to your phone hotspot.

Jack: It won’t connect. I’m learning piano again.

(On my way home I called to check again)

me: Any luck?

Jack: Nope!

me: Oh man, your whole Xbox life is turned upside down, what are you gonna do? Actually what are you doing right now?

Jack: Laying on the floor behind the couch.

And that about sums up life without internet!

Due to COVID-19 they won’t send any employees into homes to do repairs. Luckily our issue is outside the house and we have a short in the line somewhere probably due to all THE FREAKING RAIN AND WIND WE’VE BEEN HAVING!

Ugh. Come on CT let’s get some nice weather going! I have a few days off!!!

Conversations, Music, Quarantine, Uncategorized

Top 10 Sayings While in Quarantine

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Jack has had to expand his activities during quarantine, and only after I boot him off XBox. It’s amazing what can be accomplished when you have the time (or are forced to.) None of these things would have been possible without this virus to keep us home and steadily burning through our boredom activities. One by one. Until you’re scratching around at the bottom of the barrel for something to do.

Here are the top 10 phrases I can recall recently that will give you a glimpse into what Jack has decided to do with his free time.

10.
Jack: Where’s the stand for that old electric keyboard? I’m gonna learn how to play piano!
me: We don’t have a keyboard stand soooo you’re out of luck there.
Jack: I need to go to the bathroom now.
me: And that takes care of that…

9.
Jack: I’m going to check out my legos.
me: Why don’t you pick out the ones you want to get rid of and I can take them to Goodwill?
Jack: Not gonna happen.

8.
Jack: Mom, these plants are NOT gonna grow if you don’t move them into the sun! (he fussily moves the baby squash plants into the patch of sun on the floor like a worried grandpa.)

7.
Jack: Check out the rose I drew for Spanish class. (he shows me a line drawing he did on his laptop, of a rose and a book).
me: That’s so cool Jack. You should color it in.
Jack: No, I like it like this. Now I need to order a stylus so I can do real drawings.

6.
Jack: I went for a run today. Now my heel hurts.

5.
Jack: (helping me cook dinner) This is either really going to be awesome or really going to suck. There’s no in between here.

4.
Jack: Ok ok, cut my hair already!
me: Really? Yayyyy!! (I had wanted to cut his hair after watching a few YouTube videos ha ha)
Jack: Just don’t mess it up…
me: Well, I can’t promise that, but it will be quarantine passable.

3.
Jack: I want to go through all my old school papers.
me: They’re organized in folders by grade, so please just put them back in the right folder and in order ok?
Jack: Um, it’s not rocket science mom.
(later…I look on the floor and the papers are scattered and completely NOT back in the folder where he got them…grrrrr…)

2.
Jack: I’ll vacuum but only if you buy a new one. This one doesn’t even spin!
(I immediately bought a new one on Amazon. Arrives Friday!)

1.
Jack: Oh look! My old drones! (the animals went crazy over this one…)

Bonus:
Jack: Oh, the 3rd episode of the Tiger King is where everything happens.
me: You’ve watched 3 episodes of the Tiger King? It’s really not appropriate Jack…
Jack: … no…?
me: Oh really, no?
Jack: Okay, I already finished the series.
me: Sigh.

I hope you are all not going completely crazy at home, and that all your kids and spouses and animals are still getting along. Jack and I keep our distance, joining up for dinner and maybe some TV. Maybe. PoBo kept trying to sit on my neck while I typed this in bed. Moca is sleeping on my foot. Luna is at the end of the bed looking regal. Jack is… still in the bathroom.

Typical night here! Be safe everyone! In CT tomorrow we now have to wear our masks full time while in public. Praying for this to be over soon.

unnamed-1-900x494

Conversations, Health, Quarantine, Uncategorized

‘All About Easter’ and 10 Years Of Blogging!

It’s hard to believe that 10 years have passed since my first blog post, on 4/2/10… a few days before Easter on Good Friday 2010.

I almost forgot this momentous anniversary, except I saw a blog post from former co-worker and current consultant Closet Fashionista today and she was celebrating 10 years writing her blog! Go check it out, it’s really addicting if you’re into fashion.

Another blog written by ANOTHER former co- worker which probably started around the same time (though I’m not certain it was within days of our 2 blogs) is: So What Are You Making For Dinner. If you love to eat, or cook, this ones for you!

Now, my silly little blog is only meant for entertainment and journaling my boy’s (ahem) witty convos. He’s still saying sh*t so I’m still writing.

Here’s the first post I ever wrote…

You can click on the link or read it below. Choices!!

…………….

ALL ABOUT EASTER

April 2, 2010

So, the first-ever post started like this.

Jack: Why are we taking the parkway?
me: Because it’s Good Friday and there is hardly any traffic.


Jack: What’s Good Friday?


me: It’s a religious holiday that falls on the Friday before Easter.


Jack: They’re telling a lie because tomorrow is NOT Easter.


me: Well, Sunday is Easter, and tomorrow night is actually when the Easter Bunny comes to our house! (trying to change the topic…!)


Jack: The Easter Bunny comes tomorrow night? Yayyy! (pauses with frown). Wait, is Sunday the day that Grandpa Louie comes over to eat?


me: Yes, he comes over on Easter to eat dinner with us and Uncle John and —


Jack: (interrupting me) But do I get my Easter Basket BEFORE Grandpa comes over?


me: Yep. You’ll have the basket in the morning, before anyone comes over.


Jack: (Sticks his thumb back in his mouth and grunts his approval. Conversation is over.)

…………..

And there you have it… the first ever post from me to you about Jack haha.

Today I gave Jack my first ever full hair cut. Aside from when I cut off his little pigtail curl when he was maybe 18 months old or something. This was full on top to bottom cutting!

me: So, should we cut it now?

Jack: Yeah, sigh, might as well.

me: Alright, get in the bathtub (my hair salon location haha)

Jack: Try not to mess me up too badly. Just take a little off the sides and….

me: Hahahaha! That’s like telling Anna (Jack’s 5-year-old cousin) how to fly a jumbo jet. Do you think I’m gonna retain that! I’m just going in!

(With a tiny baby comb and dull scissors… gasp!)

Jack: You’re not supposed to soak my head with that spray bottle, just make it damp.

me: Moca ate the tip off the bottle, so now all it does is that.

Jack: It’s cold! Go warm up the water!

me: Sheesh Jack, do you ask the barber to warm up the water when you’re with Dad?

Jack: They don’t use ice water.

I wait 5 minutes for the water to warm up and stare at Jack sitting on a chair in the tub, wearing a robe and draped with a beach towel.

He stares back.

me: There. Water all cozy now?

Jack: Ahhhh that’s better.

I start at the back making sections and trying to perform “guides” and such hahaha but I’m

Basically just hacking off pieces as best I can from the memories of watching hundreds of Jack’s haircuts over the last 13 years or so. He was bald until maybe close to age 2 … FYI.

Jack: My neck is tired from looking that way.

me: Well I can’t get around you on that side and I don’t have a chair that goes up and down so you have to keep your head where I say.

Jack: My foots asleep!

(He jerks his leg making me almost lip off his ear.)

me: Jack you have to sit still. Pretend I’m Paula (the hairdresser he sees when he’s with me). Would you jump around and yell in her chair?

Jack: She’s a professional and doesn’t take an hour.

I stare at him. He stares back.

me: Can I continue?

Jack: Please do.

Meanwhile, with every snip, PoBobo is jumping around on the floor trying to catch the flyaway pieces of hair. My bathroom looks like I shaved a Wookie.

(Side note, here’s a blog post about when Jack thought he WAS a Wookie…and possibly other various furry and disgusting creatures haha.)

So, I finished up and Jack was pretty pleased. I measured a few side pieces the way the “pros” do and made a few additional snips. The side is a little weird looking but not too bad!

I hope you all annoyed this trip down memory lane and for those of you that have literally followed us for 10 years…. THANK YOU!!’

Here’s to 10 more 😂😯😯

Actually I’ll let Jack take over the blog when he has kids someday. Omg can you imagine? I hope they are just like him.

HAPPY EASTER ALSO!

Also, two more important things to note… Jack’s oldest female cousin turned 19 today! Happy birthday Victoria!!

And, another one of Jack’s cousins (the Marine) had his first baby yesterday! (Well, his wife did haha.) Happy Birthday Maverick!!

😍😍😷😷

Conversations, Digital Technology, Quarantine

Quarantining and Memeing

Jack and I sometimes only communicate through random images and memes. Here is our conversation the other day. 😂😷

But, before I get into that, I have to share with you the great April Fool’s joke I played on Jack.

I texted this to him:

me: Did you see the text I sent you?

Jack: What’s that?

me: I guess everyone in CT is going to re-do their grade over in the fall.

Jack: what do you mean?

me: So you’ll go back to 10th grade in September.

Jack: (really looking worried now) But how can they do that when we almost finished the whole year?

me: Because it’s just something they do for April Fool’s Day.

Jack: (the relief washes over his face completely) What the hell Mom!!!!

Hahaha. Right??

Anyway here are some of the things we sent to each other the other day. Enjoy!

me:

Jack:

me:

Jack:

Jack: Get it? Moscow!

me: (the gif prob won’t play. Thanks WordPress…)

Jack:

me: Is that you practicing Spanish?

Jack: No.

me:

Jack: Why is it so small?

me: Huh?

Jack: Never mind.

me: Ummmm… ??

Jack: Stop getting your memes on Facebook.

me again:

me still:

Jack: Stop spamming me.

And there you have it. Communication with a 15-year-old.

😂

Conversations, Sleep, Uncategorized

Sunday, Boring Sunday

Ok, let’s be clear. I’m not the one that’s bored. And technically Jack is still, sort of, sleeping so he’s not actually bored…yet. I released Moca into his bedroom and shut the door and could hear the muffled yelps from Jack as he was stunned awake by the exuberant pitbull with a love for burrowing under the covers. Time to wake up whether you want to or not!

I’m wondering if this is what it feels like to be retired. It must. I’ve been working remotely for about a week and a half. By the middle of last week I was losing track of which day it was. I thought Wednesday was Thursday and then didn’t realize it was Fri-Yay!  ??? What’s happening??

Well, for one, our typical schedules are WHACK and Jack and I are trying to co-exist in the kitchen on two different surfaces, each covered with our own working piles. We do want to be in the central area of the house, rather than sheltered away in our rooms. It would just feel even more weird to do that, though we would get the privacy we need. I think we like arguing about things so it makes us happy to share the smaller space and then nitpick each other to death LOL!

When I have to get on a “conference call”, which is now a glorified Facetime chat where we all complain about our hair and the bad lighting, while shushing pets and muffling the phone to answer our rude kids’ demands, Jack tries to banish me to the other end of the house. He can’t concentrate. Hmmm. He’s wearing the mega-expensive ear pods, which during normal times allow him to effectively ignore me when I call him for anything, like walking Moca, or folding his laundry. He can’t hear me for chores, but when I get on a call, suddenly it’s too loud for him 🙂 So I take the call in my bedroom, trying to angle myself so they all see the nice wall and not the pile of laundry on my bed, or the dog that’s sleeping on my pillow. Some people think that’s gross, but it’s a part of life with a pitbull. Who’s with me on that!!?? Moca really does think she’s a human, and that’s just slightly above her thinking she’s a cat.

So, the days are all blending together, work has been getting done but in such a different fashion, and instead of being peppered with interruptions at your office door, or a quick buzz on your phone extension, I now need to get up, walk down the hall, make sure my hair is somewhat brushed, or stuck under a baseball cap, etc. It takes way more time to be interrupted at home. I can’t turn back to my computer and continue typing to show how busy I am! 🙂  And, because the times are so strange, and we’re all dealing with the abnormal situation here, I want to talk to people more. If I call a vendor, I might stay on the phone for a half hour! How’s the family, how’s business, what can I do to help, etc etc. Things are just different and they are going to continue to be different for quite awhile.

Jack has gotten into the routine of schoolwork, chores, Xbox. With breaks for food and the bathroom and occasional shower. We’re saving a TON on water this month. Ahem.

When I ask him to PLEASE please please turn off Xbox and come down to do something, anything with me (cards? ride bikes? draw? movie???) he usually slumps on the couch while simultaneously exhaling… I’m bored! Like, he didn’t even sit down yet and he’s bored. It must be strange for him too… no crowded school halls and classrooms, no after school rowing gang, no friends over, no nothing! Xbox is his social outlet and it does make me happy to hear him cracking up while talking to his friends and playing. He is very loud also. OH, funny story… the other night I heard him talking to someone whose voice I didn’t recognize, and I’m like who’s the creepy sounding guy, uh-uh no way is this happening. So I headed up to his room and barged in. Then I realized it was his dad on speakerphone LOL! Jack was making wild hand gestures to shoo me out as they talked about which weapon did what and does this blah-blah-blah make this happen and how did he know that, etc. Sigh.

So, yeah, maybe he’s not bored at all and maybe I am. 🙂 Longest post in a few months, eh?

me: Jack! It’s almost 10, time to get down here and eat breakfast!

Jack: (muffled mumbling)

me: It’s getting late, come down and get some breakfast. (I go upstairs and check to see if he’s up, Moca is still in his room from when I let her in to jump on him at 9:30 hahaha).

Jack: Stop letting Moca in here, she just waits by the door and it’s annoying. It’s only 9, why are you waking me up?

me: It’s almost 10…  Want to watch a movie? Harry Potter? I’m in the mood for a marathon today.

Jack: (silence)

I think he went back to bed. Sigh.

Well, I have a big list of chores ready for us, and plans to cook a few meals… our seedlings have started sprouting (mostly the beans). So maybe it won’t be such a boring Sunday.

Let me know how all of you are doing out there! Be safe and try not to be too bored today! Make it a great day somehow!!