Conversations, Digital Technology, Phone Calls, Uncategorized

Grandpa’s introduction to tech

Specifically the iPhone 7.

phonecartoon

Jack’s Grandpa, my dad, is not computer literate and up until about 2 weeks ago had a push-button flip phone. His idea of technology is the ATM machine which he still uses with the help of the bank manager at his local TD branch. He knows the manager by name, naturally, and all the tellers know him.

I got my dad a cell phone a few years back for the simple reason of safety and updates, since I live in CT and he lives in MA. I found a very cheap and very reliable service through Net10, and literally paid $16 per month for him to have cell service. Boy did he struggle with that cell phone. He didn’t know the difference between the green send button and the red hang up button (mostly because he’s red/green colorblind LOL), because he wouldn’t ever put his glasses on and was guessing at which button to push.

Over the months he learned to successfully send and receive calls, but still preferred to talk to people via the wall-mounted kitchen phone, which thankfully had been updated at one point from the original yellow rotary phone. And that was probably the first and only upgrade it got.

We (ok “I”) recently decided that it was time for him to have an iPhone for the simple fact that he could Facetime with all the grand kids and even with the very first GREAT grand kid. If I had known the trauma I would have to endure to simply get him to make a call on this phone (which now he will only do via Siri), I would have opted to upgrade him to a newer push-button phone, albeit with bigger buttons. Sigh. I was trying to help.

Jack: Grandpa Face-timed me today.

me: What?? Really? OMG, how!

Jack: He figured it out I guess. But when I answered, he asked ME why I was calling HIM!

me: He dialed you by mistake?

Jack: I don’t know… he had no clue what was happening or why I could even see him.

me: Well he must have butt dialed you, but that’s so weird! I had showed him how to Facetime before so he knows what that is.

Jack: He was walking to the store and was very confused.

me: Sigh.

TWO WEEKS EARLIER:

me: Dad, so you have to turn the phone ON before you use it and enter your passcode.

Dad: This button?

me: Call that the “Home” button from now on so we are saying the same thing.

Dad: Now what? I just push the numbers in?

me: Yes, the ones we set up for you. Push them now.

Dad: Okay, now what?

me: Now you’re on the HOME screen. See the little phone at the bottom?

Dad: The bottom of what? I’m holding the phone.

me: No, the little green (sigh) I mean the phone receiver icon at the bottom.

Dad: What’s an icon?

me: Seriously? The picture! Of the phone! At the bottom…

Dad: Ok, so what do I do?

me: Just touch the phone icon and then you can start to make calls.

Dad: Do I have to enter my secret code again here?

me: No, that’s the keypad like on a phone. I mean it IS a phone key pad, sigh, you now can dial someone’s number. When the numbers are dark, you enter your passcode, when they are white, you’re in the phone keypad. Try to dial my cell phone and I’ll test it with you right now.

Dad: (presses one number for like 5 seconds). It’s not working. I got an “edit” message.

me: Sigh… no it’s a TOUCH screen so just gently touch it. (I wait). No a little harder than that but not more than a split second.

(He punches in my phone number, supposedly.)

Dad: Now what?

me: After you punch in the numbers, hit the green phone icon.

Dad: Again? How many times do I need to hit that button before I can make a call?? On the old phone you just pick up and dial. I thought technology was supposed to make things easier. I hit that button already three times!

me: Just. Hit. The, Button.

Dad: I have to dial the area code?

me: Yes. Always.

Dad: Even for local calls?

me: Yes, because you’re not…  Ugh, just yes. Always.

Dad: Ok, hold on. Is it ringing? (I just stare at him) It’s not working.

me: Gimme, let me see.

Dad: Maybe Jack should help me. He would start with the basics, you’re all over the place.

me: I’m teaching you to dial a simple phone call. This IS the basics.

Dad: Well you’re not very good at it.

me: Oh, look, you made a typo in my phone number. (I pause). Do NOT ask me what a typo is. Technology doesn’t remove the English language from your brain.

Dad: Well I don’t have my glasses on!

me: Well… get your glasses on!

(I wait… and wait.)

me: Where’d you go??

(I wait….)

Dad: Ok, I couldn’t see the glasses…it took me a minute…now I can see. What do I push again? The screen went back to black.

me: Sigh. Enter your passcode.

Dad: Didn’t I already do that?

me: SOB…

TWO WEEKS LATER, AFTER THE RANDOM FACETIME CALL TO JACK

me: That was so funny how Grandpa called you. I was dying! He has no clue still after 7 hours of me teaching him and writing stuff down for him to follow.

Jack: Mom, you should let me teach him. I would start with the basics.

(OMG Jack sounds just like my dad!!!)

And, I’m exhausted just typing a portion of this story for you to read. If you repeat the top back and forth, oh about 25 more times, throw in some F-bombs from me (and I don’t swear in front of my dad), you’ll sort of be where I am right now.

TWO DAYS AGO:

me: (grabbing my cell) Hello?

Dad: Hey I made a call!

me: Wow, so you figured out the difference between a keypad and the passcode?

Dad: No, I just use Siri and it calls you.

me: Sigh.

Dad: Hey, so if I ask it a question do I always have to say Hey Siri, or can I just keep asking questions?

me: It’s not a companion, it’s a computer. Sigh.

Dad: So… that’s a yes??

LOLLLLL!

Please send wine.

toon662

Conversations, Digital Technology

WiFi’s down. Hold me.

What a great time for WiFi to go down… when there’s not a lot to do but binge watch some favorite shows! Aaahhhh!

Jack was trying to do his math tutoring online and it conked out right in the middle of his session.

Jack: (via text) Mom the WiFi is down. I tried restarting it and it’s not working. Can you call them and tell them?

me: I’m in a meeting right now so you have to call.

Jack: What do I say??

me: Tell them what’s happening. Keep me posted if it comes back up.

(Later, before I left work…)

me: Is it working?

Jack: No, not at all.

me: Try connecting to your phone hotspot.

Jack: It won’t connect. I’m learning piano again.

(On my way home I called to check again)

me: Any luck?

Jack: Nope!

me: Oh man, your whole Xbox life is turned upside down, what are you gonna do? Actually what are you doing right now?

Jack: Laying on the floor behind the couch.

And that about sums up life without internet!

Due to COVID-19 they won’t send any employees into homes to do repairs. Luckily our issue is outside the house and we have a short in the line somewhere probably due to all THE FREAKING RAIN AND WIND WE’VE BEEN HAVING!

Ugh. Come on CT let’s get some nice weather going! I have a few days off!!!

Conversations, Digital Technology, Quarantine

Quarantining and Memeing

Jack and I sometimes only communicate through random images and memes. Here is our conversation the other day. 😂😷

But, before I get into that, I have to share with you the great April Fool’s joke I played on Jack.

I texted this to him:

me: Did you see the text I sent you?

Jack: What’s that?

me: I guess everyone in CT is going to re-do their grade over in the fall.

Jack: what do you mean?

me: So you’ll go back to 10th grade in September.

Jack: (really looking worried now) But how can they do that when we almost finished the whole year?

me: Because it’s just something they do for April Fool’s Day.

Jack: (the relief washes over his face completely) What the hell Mom!!!!

Hahaha. Right??

Anyway here are some of the things we sent to each other the other day. Enjoy!

me:

Jack:

me:

Jack:

Jack: Get it? Moscow!

me: (the gif prob won’t play. Thanks WordPress…)

Jack:

me: Is that you practicing Spanish?

Jack: No.

me:

Jack: Why is it so small?

me: Huh?

Jack: Never mind.

me: Ummmm… ??

Jack: Stop getting your memes on Facebook.

me again:

me still:

Jack: Stop spamming me.

And there you have it. Communication with a 15-year-old.

😂

Conversations, Digital Technology

Our convos these days

I don’t even think they’re conversations… 😱😱😱

I naturally text with Jack a lot more these days than I used to. 1. Because he will answer texts, usually. And 2. I’m tired of going up and down the stairs to talk to him. 😂

But seriously, do you text with your teen to get them to do things like chores or get ready for bed? Sometimes I have to, and sometimes I wonder who is answering me and what it means!!

What the heck does this even mean?

Conversations, Digital Technology

Text Us Back, Please.

It’s not bad enough that we can’t have a full normal conversation with our teen… but now even when we talk to them on their digital turf, via text, we still get shunned.

me: I know you read those texts…

Jack: So?

me: So… answer back. Why do you read my texts and not answer? It’s not hard to say good morning ya know.

Jack: You text at the most inopportune times!

me: Morning is inopportune?

Jack: Whenever is inopportune.

me: Grrrr. And “bruh” is not an acceptable replacement for “good morning”…

Conversations, Digital Technology, School, Uncategorized

Help me but don’t help me

How many of you have gone through this exact scenario? This is a typical Jack-ism. Help me but what ever you do don’t help me! Why aren’t you helping me!? Stop helping me! Fine…don’t help me!

Lord give me strength.

Jack: I can’t find my mouse.

me: Mhmmm. Did you look for it?

Jack: I’m trying but you’re not helping!

me: I’m trying to finish the last 30 minutes of this movie, Jack.

Jack: Help meeeee! (much stomping and opening and closing of things)

me: Did you think of where you last used it?

Jack: Dad’s.

me: Well then call your Dad?

Jack: It’s not there!

me: Did you look in the kitchen?

Jack: It’s not there.

me: How about in my room? You used it there before doing homework.

Jack; I already looked, it’s not there! You’re not helping!

me: I’m trying to narrow down where—

Jack: AAaarrrgh! I can’t do my homework without my mouse!

me: Can I go look in your room? You might have just overlooked it?

Jack: No.

me: Why not? I’m thinking you might have–

Jack: I said I already looked there!

me: No you didn’t, I can just—

Jack: No! Help me!

me: I can’t help if you’re not allowing me to help.

Jack: I need to order a new mouse on Amazon right now.

me: Um, no, and you need to be more responsible with your current mouse. It didn’t just walk away. I bet it’s in your room in a bin or something.

Jack: It didn’t just randomly fall into a bin!

me: Accidentally, Jack. There’s a lot of stuff on your desk. Are you sure you don’t want me to look there?

Jack: Not happening.

me: Well then we are out of options. Why do you need the mouse anyway?

Jack; The track pad is broken.

me: Use my laptop.

Jack: I don’t WANT to use a track pad.

me: Use my desktop computer.

Jack: That’s old and slow.

me: Well what do you propose?

Jack: That you help me!!!

me: Go look in your room, I’m finishing this movie now.

Jack: (much stomping again). Yeeeeeeee!

me: What?

Jack: It was under my bed. Like how did it get there? It was just sitting there.

me: Oy.

loser

Anyhoo, this is just a “sort of” typical part of the teen brain developing. It forgets things. The forgetful part I can forgive. The rest is all Jack :O. I’ll always try to help him, but ultimately he’s responsible for his own stuff. Jack: Where’s my phone charger Mom? me: I have no idea, where did you leave it last? Jack: Did you see my Fitbit charger? (Always with the chargers!) me: Nope, I have no idea, check your suitcase, or call your dad? Jack: Hey, my mini speaker is not on my desk! me: And, I have no clue where that is either. Check the shower.

I always strongly suggest that Jack put his things in exactly the same place each night, or morning, so he can find them. He has an organizer on his desk to hold all the chargers, cables, the MOUSE, and the devices that need to be plugged in. I think it’s filled with candy wrappers.

I only have one kid, but I’m preparing this kid for life in the real world. He only has about 3 more years until he’s potentially (hopefully?) off on his own! Jack has to do his own laundry. We’re on maybe year two or three of that by now, at least. Jack: MOMMMM, I don’t have any SHORTTTTSSSS! me: Did you do your laundry? Jack: Aarrrgghhhhh!

Jack has to also do the following, weekly: All of his laundry (wash, dry, fold, put away, hang, etc), put away the dishes from the dishwasher (it used to be just the silverware, but I hate putting dishes away so now it’s his job), clean his room and make his bed, clean his bathroom, including the Mt. Everest pile of clothes that hide behind the door, walk Moca EVERY DAY after school, mow the lawn, help me with other yard work (currently cleaning out the mulch beds and laying in the new mulch, which he somehow actually enjoys!), let’s see. what else… does that sound like a lot? Oh yeah, sweep out the garage, vacuum the basement (which is something I’m adding to his list this week actually… watch out Jack… all of your black sock fuzz has really been collecting on the rug down there…) Jack has to help me with the cats nails and teeth (he’s the holder of the beasts, though they like getting their nails clipped now because they get Treeeaattttssss! They are such little piggies.) Moca I can handle on my own now (except when I bludgeon her poor back toenail by accident) 😦 Sorry Moca.

Moca just raised her head from a deep sleep to look at me after I wrote that. Weird!

As you can see, there are plenty of chores for Jack. I’m also working on his cooking skills, but we have to step up that game. Sometimes though, with all that, plus going to the gym, and oh yeah… HOMEWORK… Jack has a kinda full schedule. Like right now, he’s currently sleeping. 🙂

This little article popped up for me a few minutes ago when I was looking at teen brain articles, and it reinforces what I was writing above. Take a read! Then go put your feet up and have your teenager make you a snack.

 

Digital Technology, Uncategorized

“F” That

Screen Shot 2018-12-02 at 7.54.09 PM

Well, as you probably know…you have to stay relevant if you’re a parent of a teen. You have to stay one step ahead of them… or better yet, 3 steps ahead. Or … you at least have to know how to pretend you know what’s going on 🙂 !!! (most of the time)

I was on Instagram and saw that Jack posted a picture of some old guy smiling. I looked quick and had no idea who it was. When I clicked on the photo I had a vague recollection of who it was, but it took me a minute to realize it was Stan Lee. Why was Jack posting a pic of Stan Lee? I had no clue.

I looked at all of the comments.

@somebody  F

@anotherperson   F

@randomkid   F

@afriendofJack   F

Why were these kids all posting “F”? And why for Stan Lee? I clicked on Jack’s friend’s account and there was another pic of Stan Lee with “F” typed in all the comments. Hmmmmm. I was not going to be left out of this one.

Now, for the record, don’t just go Googling “F” randomly, or when you’re at work. (also, don’t Google “naked chef” when you’re trying to look up Jamie Oliver… it just doesn’t end well, and IT will have to have a “discussion” with you at some point. Or… so I heard…)

I Googled Stan Lee first actually, and realized he died. RIP Stan!

Now I Googled a few other things like “why is everyone typing F on Instagram”. (LOL)

I found an answer!

“F” is from Call of Duty, when you want to pay respects to someone that just died… press F. Ahh, that makes sense. Though I doubt all of these kids play Call of Duty, right? Or do they?

Screen Shot 2018-12-02 at 7.53.49 PM

So, I do what any mom would do. I open Jack’s Instagram post and type “F”.

Then I waited to see if Jack would notice.

Later that night…

Jack: Um Mom, why did I need to see “@debinort commented F” pop up while I was in school? Do you even know what that means?

me: Of course I know what it means, sheesh. Why were you checking your phone in school??

Jack: It was at lunch. And, I know you Googled it.

me: No you don’t.

Jack: Yes I do. You’re the Mom that has to Google “What does F mean”. Tell me I’m wrong.

me: Sigh.

Well, he was right.

 

 

 

Conversations, Digital Technology, Uncategorized

You’re Adopted

Oh my gosh has it been almost a month? Yep time is flying at warp speed. I wish I could post every day but it’s just not possible. 😦

Here’s the short update for those of you not following us on Facebook or Instagram 🙂

Jack is liking high school and his grades are great so no real issues there! We’re coming up on the holidays, which I love (2nd only to Halloween) so that’s a plus. Soon we will have our Christmas tree and there will be snow on the ground!!! What???

In the meantime we have work, homework, the pets to care for and a houseful of chores to deal with… don’t even want to think about the acre of leaves I have to get rid of outside. 😫😫😫

Jack is almost 6-feet tall. O. M. G.

What happened to my little boy???

Anyway, I’ll leave you with this…

Jack takes my phone and texts to himself: “You’re adopted”, so it appears in his text window as coming from me. Then he shares it on social media.

Jack: (Comments on Instagram): I KNEW IT!!!!!

(Give me strength…)

Conversations, Digital Technology, Food

Mom’s search terms

Whenever I’m driving or just busy, I usually ask Jack to look stuff up on his phone. I’m always in need of random information at random times. Just like a normal mom. Right?

me: Want to see a movie tonight?

Jack: There’s nothing out.

me: Look it up…

Jack: (flipping through his phone browser) Geez you know these are all mom searches when the last one that comes up is “How to ripen cherry tomatoes”.

me: Sigh…