Um, Hello, Jack is in College! (And turned 18!)

Yes, it’s been a few minutes since I have written y’all. A LOT has happened in a very short year. A lot. 🙂

How was your 2022? I hope it was easy and breezy.

Our year was typical of any family with a teen graduating and moving to college. All the end-of-year festivities, prom, graduation, summer vacation, summer job, choosing a college, preparing to pay for said college, planning to MOVE to college, you get the idea right?

(Some fun summer vacay pics)

Throw in a dash of, oh I don’t know, SELLING our home at the same time and moving to another town. Yeah that can throw a monkey wrench into things. Jack moved to UConn in August, I packed up and moved out of my home at the end of September…yep moved an entire house by myself…and then traveled for work, came down with COVID and suffered for a few weeks, ugh. Jack got sick in December over Christmas break. Then all was well and we settled into the “after Christmas” lull looking forward to the new year. Enter new year, and my fun spinal injury from a few falls and a few crazy workouts.

And we then celebrated Jack’s 18th birthday in January! I kinda re-injured my back driving for 3 hours to his school for a family dinner. Driving with your left leg can do some damage when your right leg goes numb, so that was a bit dumb on my part. Oy!! So I was injured up until today actually. Just got myself a nice spinal injection to help with the hot mess that my back has become.

Oh and BIRTHDAY PICS! This would be the first year I did not share a photo of the birthday boy and the CAKE!

(OK, I smushed it a bit getting it out of the box.)

Sooo, with all that going on, I have finally found the mental strength to catch you all up on all things Jack! He is still saying sh*t, though it’s less and less sh*t and more and more smart college stuff 🙂

I had this brilliant idea that we would close off the blog with one last post that we would collaborate on. We really meant to, really! But then all the stuff above happened and we really just could not come up for air. And now, I’m sitting on the couch with a semi-numb leg (It’s supposed to clear up in a few days) and Moca the ever-present doggie by my side, and I felt like writing! Finally! But, Jack isn’t here. Soooo….

But, he’s coming home weekend after next. Yay! Then we may do that collaboration. In the meantime I’m shopping for blog book deals because why not! We were featured in the amazing book “Breaking Good” by Madeline Ashe, and you really really must go read it and you’ll feel like Jack is a character in the book because the little dude is based on him. I mean how cool is that!?

And also because there is a new movie out with Reese Witherspoon and Ashton Kutcher, and yeah she’s blonde and her name is Debbie (not the cool way I spell it), and her son is named Jack, and he has glasses and all the fun allergies that my Jack has. Maybe they found this blog too and wanted the likeness as well. Who knows? They didn’t ask haha. Nor did we get credit. But alas, there are other Debbie’s and Jack’s out there so I can’t really complain.

Back to my Jack though. He’s doing so well in college, he’s rowing for the school team and just generally being a great human being which I am so proud of.

(Graduation pic again because I love it soooo much!)

Here are a few things he’s texted me in the last few weeks, which is our main way of communicating, along with some phone calls. He’s still hysterical, and will always be uniquely…Jack… 😉

I sent Jack a text of a map, showing the rowing camp “Bob” area he planned to attend over spring break with the team…

Jack: Provides context to nobody. (sends me an image of someone praying). When you beat the camp bob allegations.

me: What?

Jack: Scale? Location?

me: What allegations? Google it on the map for scale and location. It’s your camp.

Jack: My bruh, you are already there.

me: Look it up on your schedule. (I send him a zoomed out map so he can see what he already knows… as in… where the camp is)

Jack: Ah, so literally nowhere.

me: Yeah, on a lake.

Jack: Yes.

me: Sigh.

Another fun exchange, I asked him to give me a call before bed to say goodnight. Yes, I missed him! He left a weird message with a lot of motor sounds like brrm brrm brrm.

me: Btw I so look forward to your voicemails to hear your voide and I save them forever. (annoyed emoji)

Jack: Is this sarcasm?

me: Yes.

Jack: Gotcha.

me: Bur really leave me real ones.

Jack: When I’m famous that’ll be worth millions.

me: beeebeeeeeeebebebebebebebebeb

Jack: If I leave enough they can make an album too.

me: (blank face emoji)

And one more fun back and forth with a political spin haha.

me: Good morning, how’d you sleep?

Jack: I was up watching the state of the union.

me: Oh I didn’t. How was it???

Jack Shame on you. Naysayer of democracy. I’m just kidding it was fine. Capping insulin cost at $35.

me: ok…

Jack Minimum 15% corporate tax, high tax enforcement if you make over 400k.

me: Woah.

Jack: Yeah.

me: No one in our family makes over 400k

Jack: Nice.

I’m hoping when he’s home in a few weekends we will really sit down and collaborate! Not sure if we should officially end the blog, but it’s been tossed around. We shall see! If any of you want us to continue into college days, send me a message, I would love to hear from you. ::

Goodnight all!

Permit Test Day!

Jack is getting his driver’s permit right now. Oh Lordy!! Stay off the roads! 🤣

The security guy at the door of the DMV stopped to check our mountain of paperwork.

Guy: What’re you here for?

Jack: Permit test.

Guy: How old are you?

Jack: 16

Guy: Wow, you are tall!

We’re used to that kind of reaction. Anyway, Jack already passed in what seemed like 5 minutes. (Hoping they actually tested him!) We now have another driver in the household.

me: We need to stop at the store and get a few things for tonight.

Jack: Can I drive to the store?

me: Sigh.

And so it begins. He’s had the slip of paper exactly 15 minutes haha. I’ll definitely share more stories of how THiS goes.

In the meantime…

I have a few more funny texts that I found that made me laugh so I’m sharing them now. Jack is the gray and I’m the blue. As if you couldn’t tell hahaha.

(I think I answered him in like two minutes!)

____

(Jack and friends were in Target haha)

____

(Sigh)

____

(Really…)

____

(No clue hahahaha)

____

(I think this was when PoBo kept jumping in my trash can)

____

(As always)

Well that’s it for today, have a great weekend everyone!

It’s Been a Minute

February blew right into March and now look where we are! My last post was Feb. 1. Wow, how the time flies and how busy we’ve been! So much has happened in that short couple of minutes since I last wrote…

Some of us have started our COVID vaccines, we’ve got a driver’s permit test on the horizon (omg), SAT’s happened, Jack did great, Jack’s rowing practices started up again, a few babies-to-be have been announced in my family, work trips are planned for the fall (what???), it almost deceivingly feels … normal-ish.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We see what’s happening in the rest of the world so we’re not out of the pandemic woods yet. But, it’s nice to see the season’s start to change from cold to slightly less cold (LOL spring in CT is not a thing). We had some amazing warm days and today I wore the full winter coat, hat, gloves and even had snow pelt down on my car! It’s just a cruel cruel season switch as always. And then it becomes 90 degrees and humid.

Ok, enough about the weather. How are YOU doing? We haven’t connected in awhile! Leave a comment about what’s new with you and how you’re handling 2021 so far!

School is still remote for the rest of the year, our choice. In the fall Jack will be in 12th grade. Full time in-person! That will be strange. Right now we’re two remote workers who pass each other in the hall in our sweats, carrying mugs of tea or hot chocolate as we shuffle to the next class/meeting. Very strange indeed, but I gotta say, the animals LOVE having us home. They are so spoiled with attention, and Moca gets walks all day long. PoBo and Luna are taking turns going to the ER because they are so EXCITED, they want to eat ribbons off of packages and have surgery, or run and do a flip off the balcony to break a foot bone. It’s been so FUN!

My COVID stimulus checks are directly proportional to the vet bills I’ve paid in the last year. 100%. Sigh.

So, this was a conversation that I had with my friend Kris, who showed me a post where some mom took her kids’ text messages and made them into wall art. Some were crude, most were funny, and any mom of a teen could totally relate. That led to me spending literally an hour on my phone combing back through my texts to find these “gems” of Sh*t that Jack Said!

Hope to leave you on a cheery note. 😉

(There are just so many, I could make like 10 posts out of this! Maybe I will post a wee bit more frequently now!)

For clarification…I’m blue.

I think we were both getting cranky being on multiple meetings/classes and also trying to look at Jack’s rowing college recruiter website haha.

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I guess I only buy fake cereal

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No clue.

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Well, he IS always hungry. Not sure what was an hour long that would prevent him from eating haha.

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The classic answer when one asks the boy to help.

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I guess I’m a criminal. Or “they” are?

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I stand corrected.

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There are a few more, well quite a bit more actually.

Deserves a part deux and trois I’m thinking.

Merci for reading this far! 🙂

Grandpa’s introduction to tech

Specifically the iPhone 7.

Jack’s Grandpa, my dad, is not computer literate and up until about 2 weeks ago had a push-button flip phone. His idea of technology is the ATM machine which he still uses with the help of the bank manager at his local TD branch. He knows the manager by name, naturally, and all the tellers know him.

I got my dad a cell phone a few years back for the simple reason of safety and updates, since I live in CT and he lives in MA. I found a very cheap and very reliable service through Net10, and literally paid $16 per month for him to have cell service. Boy did he struggle with that cell phone. He didn’t know the difference between the green send button and the red hang up button (mostly because he’s red/green colorblind LOL), because he wouldn’t ever put his glasses on and was guessing at which button to push.

Over the months he learned to successfully send and receive calls, but still preferred to talk to people via the wall-mounted kitchen phone, which thankfully had been updated at one point from the original yellow rotary phone. And that was probably the first and only upgrade it got.

We (ok “I”) recently decided that it was time for him to have an iPhone for the simple fact that he could Facetime with all the grand kids and even with the very first GREAT grand kid. If I had known the trauma I would have to endure to simply get him to make a call on this phone (which now he will only do via Siri), I would have opted to upgrade him to a newer push-button phone, albeit with bigger buttons. Sigh. I was trying to help.

Jack: Grandpa Face-timed me today.

me: What?? Really? OMG, how!

Jack: He figured it out I guess. But when I answered, he asked ME why I was calling HIM!

me: He dialed you by mistake?

Jack: I don’t know… he had no clue what was happening or why I could even see him.

me: Well he must have butt dialed you, but that’s so weird! I had showed him how to Facetime before so he knows what that is.

Jack: He was walking to the store and was very confused.

me: Sigh.

TWO WEEKS EARLIER:

me: Dad, so you have to turn the phone ON before you use it and enter your passcode.

Dad: This button?

me: Call that the “Home” button from now on so we are saying the same thing.

Dad: Now what? I just push the numbers in?

me: Yes, the ones we set up for you. Push them now.

Dad: Okay, now what?

me: Now you’re on the HOME screen. See the little phone at the bottom?

Dad: The bottom of what? I’m holding the phone.

me: No, the little green (sigh) I mean the phone receiver icon at the bottom.

Dad: What’s an icon?

me: Seriously? The picture! Of the phone! At the bottom…

Dad: Ok, so what do I do?

me: Just touch the phone icon and then you can start to make calls.

Dad: Do I have to enter my secret code again here?

me: No, that’s the keypad like on a phone. I mean it IS a phone key pad, sigh, you now can dial someone’s number. When the numbers are dark, you enter your passcode, when they are white, you’re in the phone keypad. Try to dial my cell phone and I’ll test it with you right now.

Dad: (presses one number for like 5 seconds). It’s not working. I got an “edit” message.

me: Sigh… no it’s a TOUCH screen so just gently touch it. (I wait). No a little harder than that but not more than a split second.

(He punches in my phone number, supposedly.)

Dad: Now what?

me: After you punch in the numbers, hit the green phone icon.

Dad: Again? How many times do I need to hit that button before I can make a call?? On the old phone you just pick up and dial. I thought technology was supposed to make things easier. I hit that button already three times!

me: Just. Hit. The, Button.

Dad: I have to dial the area code?

me: Yes. Always.

Dad: Even for local calls?

me: Yes, because you’re not…  Ugh, just yes. Always.

Dad: Ok, hold on. Is it ringing? (I just stare at him) It’s not working.

me: Gimme, let me see.

Dad: Maybe Jack should help me. He would start with the basics, you’re all over the place.

me: I’m teaching you to dial a simple phone call. This IS the basics.

Dad: Well you’re not very good at it.

me: Oh, look, you made a typo in my phone number. (I pause). Do NOT ask me what a typo is. Technology doesn’t remove the English language from your brain.

Dad: Well I don’t have my glasses on!

me: Well… get your glasses on!

(I wait… and wait.)

me: Where’d you go??

(I wait….)

Dad: Ok, I couldn’t see the glasses…it took me a minute…now I can see. What do I push again? The screen went back to black.

me: Sigh. Enter your passcode.

Dad: Didn’t I already do that?

me: SOB…

TWO WEEKS LATER, AFTER THE RANDOM FACETIME CALL TO JACK

me: That was so funny how Grandpa called you. I was dying! He has no clue still after 7 hours of me teaching him and writing stuff down for him to follow.

Jack: Mom, you should let me teach him. I would start with the basics.

(OMG Jack sounds just like my dad!!!)

And, I’m exhausted just typing a portion of this story for you to read. If you repeat the top back and forth, oh about 25 more times, throw in some F-bombs from me (and I don’t swear in front of my dad), you’ll sort of be where I am right now.

TWO DAYS AGO:

me: (grabbing my cell) Hello?

Dad: Hey I made a call!

me: Wow, so you figured out the difference between a keypad and the passcode?

Dad: No, I just use Siri and it calls you.

me: Sigh.

Dad: Hey, so if I ask it a question do I always have to say Hey Siri, or can I just keep asking questions?

me: It’s not a companion, it’s a computer. Sigh.

Dad: So… that’s a yes??

LOLLLLL!

Please send wine.

WiFi’s down. Hold me.

What a great time for WiFi to go down… when there’s not a lot to do but binge watch some favorite shows! Aaahhhh!

Jack was trying to do his math tutoring online and it conked out right in the middle of his session.

Jack: (via text) Mom the WiFi is down. I tried restarting it and it’s not working. Can you call them and tell them?

me: I’m in a meeting right now so you have to call.

Jack: What do I say??

me: Tell them what’s happening. Keep me posted if it comes back up.

(Later, before I left work…)

me: Is it working?

Jack: No, not at all.

me: Try connecting to your phone hotspot.

Jack: It won’t connect. I’m learning piano again.

(On my way home I called to check again)

me: Any luck?

Jack: Nope!

me: Oh man, your whole Xbox life is turned upside down, what are you gonna do? Actually what are you doing right now?

Jack: Laying on the floor behind the couch.

And that about sums up life without internet!

Due to COVID-19 they won’t send any employees into homes to do repairs. Luckily our issue is outside the house and we have a short in the line somewhere probably due to all THE FREAKING RAIN AND WIND WE’VE BEEN HAVING!

Ugh. Come on CT let’s get some nice weather going! I have a few days off!!!

Quarantining and Memeing

Jack and I sometimes only communicate through random images and memes. Here is our conversation the other day. 😂😷

But, before I get into that, I have to share with you the great April Fool’s joke I played on Jack.

I texted this to him:

me: Did you see the text I sent you?

Jack: What’s that?

me: I guess everyone in CT is going to re-do their grade over in the fall.

Jack: what do you mean?

me: So you’ll go back to 10th grade in September.

Jack: (really looking worried now) But how can they do that when we almost finished the whole year?

me: Because it’s just something they do for April Fool’s Day.

Jack: (the relief washes over his face completely) What the hell Mom!!!!

Hahaha. Right??

Anyway here are some of the things we sent to each other the other day. Enjoy!

me:

Jack:

me:

Jack:

Jack: Get it? Moscow!

me: (the gif prob won’t play. Thanks WordPress…)

Jack:

me: Is that you practicing Spanish?

Jack: No.

me:

Jack: Why is it so small?

me: Huh?

Jack: Never mind.

me: Ummmm… ??

Jack: Stop getting your memes on Facebook.

me again:

me still:

Jack: Stop spamming me.

And there you have it. Communication with a 15-year-old.

😂

If we didn’t text we wouldn’t talk!

I’m blue. Jack is gray. Sigh. 😂😂😂

The old “Deez Nuts” from 2015 haha…

Not sure about this next one?

And I didn’t notice what this next image was when I looked at it small on my phone screen. Kinda gross

And there you have it. A full week of conversations. 🤨🤨🤨

Our convos these days

I don’t even think they’re conversations… 😱😱😱

I naturally text with Jack a lot more these days than I used to. 1. Because he will answer texts, usually. And 2. I’m tired of going up and down the stairs to talk to him. 😂

But seriously, do you text with your teen to get them to do things like chores or get ready for bed? Sometimes I have to, and sometimes I wonder who is answering me and what it means!!

What the heck does this even mean?

Text Us Back, Please.

It’s not bad enough that we can’t have a full normal conversation with our teen… but now even when we talk to them on their digital turf, via text, we still get shunned.

me: I know you read those texts…

Jack: So?

me: So… answer back. Why do you read my texts and not answer? It’s not hard to say good morning ya know.

Jack: You text at the most inopportune times!

me: Morning is inopportune?

Jack: Whenever is inopportune.

me: Grrrr. And “bruh” is not an acceptable replacement for “good morning”…

Help me but don’t help me

How many of you have gone through this exact scenario? This is a typical Jack-ism. Help me but what ever you do don’t help me! Why aren’t you helping me!? Stop helping me! Fine…don’t help me!

Lord give me strength.

Jack: I can’t find my mouse.

me: Mhmmm. Did you look for it?

Jack: I’m trying but you’re not helping!

me: I’m trying to finish the last 30 minutes of this movie, Jack.

Jack: Help meeeee! (much stomping and opening and closing of things)

me: Did you think of where you last used it?

Jack: Dad’s.

me: Well then call your Dad?

Jack: It’s not there!

me: Did you look in the kitchen?

Jack: It’s not there.

me: How about in my room? You used it there before doing homework.

Jack; I already looked, it’s not there! You’re not helping!

me: I’m trying to narrow down where—

Jack: AAaarrrgh! I can’t do my homework without my mouse!

me: Can I go look in your room? You might have just overlooked it?

Jack: No.

me: Why not? I’m thinking you might have–

Jack: I said I already looked there!

me: No you didn’t, I can just—

Jack: No! Help me!

me: I can’t help if you’re not allowing me to help.

Jack: I need to order a new mouse on Amazon right now.

me: Um, no, and you need to be more responsible with your current mouse. It didn’t just walk away. I bet it’s in your room in a bin or something.

Jack: It didn’t just randomly fall into a bin!

me: Accidentally, Jack. There’s a lot of stuff on your desk. Are you sure you don’t want me to look there?

Jack: Not happening.

me: Well then we are out of options. Why do you need the mouse anyway?

Jack; The track pad is broken.

me: Use my laptop.

Jack: I don’t WANT to use a track pad.

me: Use my desktop computer.

Jack: That’s old and slow.

me: Well what do you propose?

Jack: That you help me!!!

me: Go look in your room, I’m finishing this movie now.

Jack: (much stomping again). Yeeeeeeee!

me: What?

Jack: It was under my bed. Like how did it get there? It was just sitting there.

me: Oy.

Anyhoo, this is just a “sort of” typical part of the teen brain developing. It forgets things. The forgetful part I can forgive. The rest is all Jack :O. I’ll always try to help him, but ultimately he’s responsible for his own stuff. Jack: Where’s my phone charger Mom? me: I have no idea, where did you leave it last? Jack: Did you see my Fitbit charger? (Always with the chargers!) me: Nope, I have no idea, check your suitcase, or call your dad? Jack: Hey, my mini speaker is not on my desk! me: And, I have no clue where that is either. Check the shower.

I always strongly suggest that Jack put his things in exactly the same place each night, or morning, so he can find them. He has an organizer on his desk to hold all the chargers, cables, the MOUSE, and the devices that need to be plugged in. I think it’s filled with candy wrappers.

I only have one kid, but I’m preparing this kid for life in the real world. He only has about 3 more years until he’s potentially (hopefully?) off on his own! Jack has to do his own laundry. We’re on maybe year two or three of that by now, at least. Jack: MOMMMM, I don’t have any SHORTTTTSSSS! me: Did you do your laundry? Jack: Aarrrgghhhhh!

Jack has to also do the following, weekly: All of his laundry (wash, dry, fold, put away, hang, etc), put away the dishes from the dishwasher (it used to be just the silverware, but I hate putting dishes away so now it’s his job), clean his room and make his bed, clean his bathroom, including the Mt. Everest pile of clothes that hide behind the door, walk Moca EVERY DAY after school, mow the lawn, help me with other yard work (currently cleaning out the mulch beds and laying in the new mulch, which he somehow actually enjoys!), let’s see. what else… does that sound like a lot? Oh yeah, sweep out the garage, vacuum the basement (which is something I’m adding to his list this week actually… watch out Jack… all of your black sock fuzz has really been collecting on the rug down there…) Jack has to help me with the cats nails and teeth (he’s the holder of the beasts, though they like getting their nails clipped now because they get Treeeaattttssss! They are such little piggies.) Moca I can handle on my own now (except when I bludgeon her poor back toenail by accident) 😦 Sorry Moca.

Moca just raised her head from a deep sleep to look at me after I wrote that. Weird!

As you can see, there are plenty of chores for Jack. I’m also working on his cooking skills, but we have to step up that game. Sometimes though, with all that, plus going to the gym, and oh yeah… HOMEWORK… Jack has a kinda full schedule. Like right now, he’s currently sleeping. 🙂

This little article popped up for me a few minutes ago when I was looking at teen brain articles, and it reinforces what I was writing above. Take a read! Then go put your feet up and have your teenager make you a snack.