Conversations, Emotions, Potty Humor, Uncategorized

Affirmations vs. Reality

I drove Jack to school as I do every day, and we rode in silence for awhile. I asked if he wanted to listen to my audio book in the car “Money and the Law of Attraction”. I’m almost done with it. He politely declined. So I put it on anyway. 🙂

Esther Hicks was talking about illness, and how you can think yourself healthy with positive vibes, etc.

me: Hey, you should try positive thinking today and say some affirmations to yourself to kick off the day.

Jack: (grunts)

me: Like try this: “I can do anything I want today and it’s going to be a great day.”

Jack: I just detonated your car.

me: What? (Pause) Oh geez Jack come on!

I hastily rolled down all the windows.

Jack: Ha!

And there you have it. Affirmations vs. reality with a 14-year-old. Kinda gross eh?

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Conversations, Emotions, Uncategorized

Pre-teen depression (me not him)

I’ve learned that being a parent means there is always something to feel guilty about, always something to feel sad about, and always some sort of feeling of loss after every milestone has been met and your child charges headfirst into the next stage of his or her life.

And of course there are many happy times and good times and funny times, just look at the last seven years of my blog, hello! 🙂 But this is a new phase for me, one that my friends have told me they are going through or have recently gone through. It’s kind of pre-empty-nest-syndrome because your child still very much needs you in almost every way. Except, they don’t anymore.

I watched my son grow and change from a chubby little boy who was curious about everything, into a toddler that could never be told “no” when he wanted to do something, and then he grew into the little boy that had to master everything himself with as little coaching as possible (insert tantrum here if you tried to show him how to ride his bike for the first time without training wheels, for example); and now he’s this tall, handsome, amazing, mature and talented young man who I think takes his own talents for granted. He really is gifted in certain things that have just shown themselves in the last couple of years, like his cartooning, his video making skills, his wit and use of language, (though I wish he would use those powers for good instead of evil LOL), and and his ability to make people feel comfortable around him no matter what their age, or their situation. He is just generally easy to be around and very good company… especially for me and our animals 🙂

So why is it, as parents, we are so excited to get to the next phase of our child’s life, and then when we reach it, we struggle desperately to keep them there or to turn back the clock to where they just came from. I think that’s why people have two and three kids, they just want to relive those special times because once they’re gone, they are gone forever.

I didn’t have the ability to give Jack a sibling, though I really wanted to, so I have to enjoy this ride fully, and that may be why I’ve documented so much of his life on this blog, I know that it’s so special and so precious to me that I don’t want to forget a single minute.

Then and now:

Jack at 5 years old: Mommy, guess what? I invented a dump truck that pushes the sand in your sandbox and turns it into…

me: Jack, honey, hold on one sec.  Mommy’s on the phone.

Jack (not listening): And it turns the sand into magic sand so if you ever run out of sand this will fill it back up and it will be all clean like the beach sand, and not dirty like the sand in the woods that gets you all muddy because…

me: Jack hang on one sec… (I make an excuse and hang up the phone)

Jack: And its magic sand that I don’t have to worry about getting dirty and it will never ever run out! You just have to use this magic dump truck right here and it will push the magic into it and then see? You don’t have to ever worry about it again!

me: Take a breath Jack. Try to break it into breathable chunks of story. You’ll pass out if you talk that fast.

——-

Jack at 12: What.

me: Um, just wanted to call and say good morning. How’s your day?

Jack: Good. 

me: What’d you do with dad?

Jack: Stuff. Can I go?

me: Jack you need to talk longer than 30 seconds and say more than 2 words. Geez.

Emotions, Play, Uncategorized

What to do if you’re bored 

 First, confirm that you are, indeed, REALLY bored. Check boxes help.
  
Then, make a list! Perhaps you like to write in gold marker. If so, do that! Or maybe you just want to lay down wherever you are. OR, better yet, take a nap! Though that one is frowned upon at work or so I’m told.

 
When all else fails, you can question the universe:

  

Conversations, Emotions, School, Uncategorized

Let’s Play College

 Jack has always loved playing college, ever since he was little. He would pretend he was in class or teaching class or eating at the cafeteria (his personal favorite). So I have high hopes that he will actually GO to college. Lord knows we talk about it enough.

Jack has bee so into filming and vlogging and editing lately that we are trying to get him into the NYU film school summer camp. For two weeks. For a million dollars. No, actually just a few thousand. But still! Regular summer camp costs like $250 or something per week. Sigh.

We’re riding on the train right now heading to NYC and Jack just noticed this poster:

  

Jack: Mom, I might want to go to college there.

me: Really? Actual college for filming? 

Jack: Yeah, either there or Brigham Young.

me: ?

The randomness of it all…

  
He’s not very excited about me taking pictures of him while he sings Celebration. 

And in other news…sad news…our beloved kitty Ed has passed away after a very short but aggressive battle with cancer. We will miss him terribly.

RIP Ed 💔

  

Emotions, Play

The real apology letter…and some Legos…

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Jack and I had a blowout yesterday. I asked him to select only one electronic device to take with him on the bus, not TWO. I stated this calmly and nicely. He proceeded to fall on the floor on his back, wearing his backpack, kicking and screaming, looking like a turtle that had lost its mind.

Not only did he lose BOTH electronics, plus all others, for a week, he had to write me an apology letter. After school, he was in a much better mood, so I reminded him of what transpired earlier in the day and that I expected the apology letter before he could go play with his Legos.

Here’s what I got. He was giggling when he gave it to me.

Jack: Dear mom, this morning you would only let me take one electronic, so I hit you with a stick and then i called you an Idiot. I’m sorry for what I have done, and I will not do it again. Next time, I will just take one electronic, and we will not go through the process of you being beat with a stick. Once again, I am sorry for what I have done, and I won’t do it again. And now, a word from our sponsors: PIE!

Sigh.

So I chuckled and said that, yes, he was clever and entertaining but now I needed the serious apology. To which…he … fell on the floor on his back screaming that he had just written the apology and that I had laughed so he was DONE with writing apologies.

I waited. I googled some stuff and played around online.

He wound it down a few minutes later when he realized that I was not paying attention to him in the least.

me: Are you all done?

Jack: Sniff… (glare)

me: I still need the real apology letter. It needs to be serious and I need to know that you’re not making a joke of this. It wasn’t nice this morning and I don’t want to go through that for such a silly request ever again. Go ahead and come back when you’re done.

Jack: (few minutes later). Here. It’s not as long. Can I go play now?

“Dear Mom, I realize that I may have made some bad choices this morning, I know that I did something wrong and I’m sorry for that.”

me: Okay. Go play and I’ll be up in a minute.

He ran upstairs and my phone rang. It was his friend. Jack came back down and told his friend that he wasn’t allowed to play. That was another thing I added to the mix. After the phone call I followed him upstairs and we made the most awesome Lego Christmas village, complete with a Darth Maul Santa riding a reindeer (horse) and eating pizza while wearing helicopter skis. And we used Lego guys to set up a snowball scene. Photos to follow. Oh wait, I can actually go take one now. Why not. It’s only 1:13 am. Sigh. I actually had already fallen asleep for a few hours, but woke up and have been wide awake for an hour. Time to go back to sleep! Yawn…

Goodnight! I mean, Good Morning!

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Emotions, Play

Bike Riding by the Numbers

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I thought about writing this post last weekend when it actually happened, but found myself still (humorously) traumatized by the event, and wanted to avoid re-living it for the time being.

Now I find it only humorous!
Less traumatizing! Sort of. As any Mom knows, when you push your child to do something out of the ordinary, or beyond their means, there will be consequences for both people, but deep down you really just hope they stinking learn something about themselves and gain some confidence.

Or at least, use less bad words to express how they are feeling.

We decided to ride our bikes last Sunday. Though the days have been crazy warm and humid, we woke this day to a slightly howling wind and chilly temperature. Chilly enough to send us digging for jackets and me for my cold weather workout gear. (Tough Mudder long sleeved shirt, holla!) I was excited to get the exercise and to do it with Jack, AND to be outside getting some fresh air and covering some ground. What could possibly happen to spoil it?

We planned to leave from the house and ride TO the bike trail. I don’t have a bike rack yet, so this seemed like a GREAT idea. Heh heh. Our house is about maybe 2 miles from the trail. The trail itself, or the section we were after, is 2.5 miles one way and then you turn around at the end (or ride right into the street and smash into Starbucks!), and head back, for a total of approximately 5 miles.

Just for fun, I’ll remind you that Jack has ridden once with me on a run, which was maybe 3 miles. And once on the trail for maybe 5 miles… back then…we walked up every hill, me pushing his bike, and then walked down every hill…or rather I walked and held onto his handlebars to slow him as HE rode. Fun. So, his only other bike riding experience has been up and down our street, back and forth to a few friends’ houses. Hmmm. Maybe I should have pulled out the stroller and taken Jack for a RUN instead! 🙂

Again, what could go wrong?

Foreshadowing anyone?

9 – Miles covered

23 – The number of times we stopped on the entire trip

20 – Times that Jack cried out loud that he was tired (with tears)

6 – Huge hills we encountered, including our driveway

2 – Number of times Jack threw his bike into oncoming traffic in shear anger and disgust

1 – How many times I was shoved by angry and disgusted Jack

5 – Number of times I was blamed for having this “stupid” idea (which, by the way, was HIS idea)

7 – Number of cars that passed with sympathetic looks on their faces after they saw Jack’s face and him pushing his bike along the road.

1 – Number of worms saved from certain death in the street

2 – Number of happy people that rolled their bikes into my garage after 2 hours.

1 – How many children proceeded to brag to their friends that they rode for TWO hours and 9 miles!

me: Are you sure you want to ride all the way to the end?

Jack: Yeah! This is fun! We can do it!

me: Because we could turn around up here and then head back…?

Jack: No! To the end!

me: Okayyyy…

(at the end)

Jack: My legs are too tired to go back.

me: We’re about 4.5 miles from home Jack. I don’t have my phone. We have to go back.

Jack: Why didn’t you bring your stupid phone! I’m tired!

me: Let’s go.

Jack: (rides about 20 feet) I have to stop! My legs hurt! My hands are numb!

me: Sigh…

It really ramped up towards the end of the trail when we got to the road. The ride TO the park was awesome. All downhill. Soooo, the ride back…naturally…all uphill. At one point I was actually pushing both bikes and cleaning Jack’s glasses to remove the tears and boogers while he threw his helmet around on the ground. But we kept going. I kept the motivational talk up the entire way. I was mentally drained by this point.

Jack: You didn’t even pack SNACKS!

me: (what WAS I thinking…?) I know… I don’t have any pockets… (lame)

Jack: What about a BACK PACK! Ever hear of that! (flings bike again, etc)

So, we made it home and Jack now brags about how he accomplished this LONG bike ride. Though he swears he will never ever try it again.

Know of any good cheap bike racks??