Jack: Can I buy this thing for my game? It’s only $20…

me: $20?? What could possibly cost so much!?

Jack: It’s a character type thing.

me: I don’t know, Jack. That’s expensive…

Jack: It’s my money! I should be able to use it how I want.

me: Explain what it is and why it’s so important.

Jack: (pauses) Well it’s… this tomato headed guy that wears a pizza backpack and you can throw pizzas as weapons.

me: Pizza backpack.

Jack: Yeah.

me: Tomato head.

Jack: Yesss. (He does a little hop of anticipation)

me: A tomato headed guy that throws pizzas is important?

Jack: Very.

me: Sigh.

Games, Sports

Super Bowl 52 and why we are sad

Jack and I wanted the Patriots to win. I’m from MA and the Patriots are my team. Even though I rooted for the Raiders my entire life because they had “cool” black and silver uniforms.

Also my first Super Bowl (well, the first I paid attention to) was XV, Raiders vs. Eagles. The Raiders killed the Eagles 27-10 and I was always so happy about the Eagles losing. And Jim Plunkett.

So this year, I’m kinda going back to my roots as a Masshole, and a hater of Philly. Hater for no other reason than me remembering what it felt like to be 13 and rooting for a winning team.

We were sad to see the Patriots lose. It was another good game and we were hoping for the same ending as last year. Woulda been great Tom!

me: Jack, what are you doing up there… bedtime!

Jack: Drowning my sorrows…

He was upset that the Patriots lost, and apparently there are a lot of rude Philly fans in 8th grade.

Jack: They’re all gonna be so obnoxious tomorrow. Sigh.

me: Ignore then.

Jack: You’ve obviously never been in 8th grade.

Obviously. Haha.

Games, Uncategorized

Zelda Breadth of My Patience

Or Breath of the Wild as it’s more commonly known. My name is more accurate though…methinks? (I’ve also called it Breath of the Bad, Death of the Wild, Life and Death, etc, hahaha… Jack didn’t find it funny.)

me: Time to turn off the game Jack.

Jack: Can you give me 5 minutes to get my horse to a stable?

me: Really…

Jack: It’s a really good horse. Don’t worry, I’ll be fast. I have to register it.

me: As what, a sex offender?

Jack: (looks at me)

me: Well geez… what does that even mean?

Jack: I have to register it as mine so no one will take it. What should I name it?

me: Joe.

Jack: (silence)

Game: Yaaaahhhh!

me: What is that noise.

Jack: Nothing to see here…

me: Oy.

Games, Subaru Confessions

XBox live and other important things … like I have a new 12-year-old!

OMG the new puppy totally made me forget that Jack turned 12 and I need to update my banner at the top point point. I will do that this weekend. Lots going on in Jack’s world.

All heard from the back seat of my car…

Jack: dude I totally got Xbox live for my birthday.

Friend: OMG that is awesome! Now we can play together! Did you get silver or gold.

Jack: I got gold. Silver totally sucks.

Me: silver what? What are you talking about.

They pretend like they don’t hear me.

Friend: Yeah you totally can’t even talk on silver. It’s a waste.

Jack: I totally want to play BO 3.

Me: Hey,which version of halo is that?

Jack: nothing in that entire sentence made any sense mom. It’s zombies!

Me: Oh. Um. I totally meant call of duty! I don’t know why I said halo.

They were back to ignoring me again.

Friend: Dude, you have so many awesome games maybe we can trade like if we switch each other’s gaming name we can totally use each other’s accounts and like play each other’s games and like do other stuff!

At least that’s what I thought he was saying ha ha.

Anyway apparently Xbox live is something that gives you magical powers and makes everyone love you.

The end.

Games, Uncategorized

I’m Pokemon GONE. And the secrets of a PokeMom.

Yes I downloaded the app. Yes I played Pokemon Go here and there for a few weeks. Yes I was freakishly good at it and got to level 15, though I haven’t taken over a gym yet.

I downloaded the game originally for Jack, plus I wanted to see what all the hype was about. It seemed fun. People at work played as they walked around the building. Jack played a little on my phone but then went away to camp for two weeks, and away with his friend for another week, and now he’s in Arizona with his dad! Sheesh, the little app was all alone with no one to play with. I decided to check it out one day when Jack was gone. It was oddly satisfying to capture Pokemon one by one and use the camera function to show my neighbors that a rare Pokemon had landed in their front yard! I loved the Pokestops and spinning the wheel, and the bubble pop sound as you collected treasures and the much needed Pokeballs. It spoke to my sense of order and my enjoyment of collecting things. Plus, I walk a LOT and that’s just conducive to hatching a lot of eggs. Don’t judge!

me: Jack I powered up a few Pokemon while you were away. Did you put the app on your iPod?

Jack: No I’m not even that interested in it mom, plus they can access all your info. It’s not safe.

I didn’t really hear that last part.

I played a bit more and liked how it tracked my movement and that I knew where the Pokemon were gathering in my town. I invited one of Jack’s friends to go on a Pokewalk with me because I missed Jack! And his friends all need exercise. Win win!

Jack: Mom why are you face timing me in the road?

me: I’m collecting Pokemon at the big stop sign near the old cemetery.

Jack: Is that ALEX??!!

me: Uh yeah he was looking for you and I told him you were gone and I had nothing to do so we decided to walk and…

Jack: Can you give him the phone??

There was a series of “Dude”, “So lame” and “DUDE!” and then I got the phone back.

Jack: Mom, this is a game for KIDS!

me: Yeah. I know.

I felt only slightly chastised.

So I played some more here and there and happened to develop mad Pokemon catching skills. What can I say, I enjoyed it! Is that a crime?

And then I noticed something. I got an email alert “just letting you know another gmail account (not mine) was linked to your gmail… If this was not you, take these steps to fix it.” So I did. And forgot about it.

But weird right? I sort of remembered someone telling me that my email information could be compromised if you downloaded and logged into this app. Well, not someone, just this one smart little guy.

Jack: You know Pokemon Go can access all of your information right? I told you. You shouldn’t do it Mom.

He reminded me again on our next call when I told him about the weird gmail account.

me: Yeah but if everyone is playing it, it should be ok I think, right?


So I kept the app and we played a bit more. Jack and I would take walks with his friends and catch Pokemon. During lunch I would go next door with one of my interns to our usual Pokestop and we’d hang for 10 minutes to let it refresh so we could collect twice the booty. We knew how to work the system, and I learned how to throw mad curve balls to catch the harder Pokemon.

Why isn’t it PokeMEN? Hmmm.

Again when I talked to Jack he gave me an earful. Only after I told him I had a super high CP evolved Rhyhorn.

Jack: I TOLD you! They can get into all of your information! You should just delete it Mom.

me: But I like it!

Then it happened again. I wasn’t able to retrieve my gmail on my phone. This was the same account that I had just repaired a week or so ago. The password was just flat out changed by someone in CT at a time when I was out at dinner. Luckily I had been checking my secondary gmail account (randomly) which was the backup email address for my REAL gmail account. Sigh…  I took all the steps to change the password to this account. Then I decided to Update all the security features and noticed that now BOTH of my accounts said “Pokemon Go has access to all of your gmail account info.” And I had only used ONE account to login.

That was it. DEE-LETE! Gone. Not worth the hassle and potential for disaster.I sadly  erased the account. It had to be done. I mean, come on! Right?


Goodbye my one and only low cp Pikachu. Goodbye my most powerful and evolved Flareon, and bye to the the cute Ghastly. And I will miss the chance to evolve my Koffing into a Weezing, because that’s just funny.

But seriously, I hardly even played at all… 😉

Games, Uncategorized

Things we think kids know but they really don’t…

Like the time Jack asked if kids could really go into a store and buy something without a grown up. Ha!

I asked Jack to close up a loaf of bread (with the twisty tie) and when I went to open the bread the next day I found he had tied it like you would tie your shoelaces, minus the bow. I guess I never showed him how to do that twisty trick, eh? It seems so basic. You just twist!

Then there was the time I realized that I had never taught Jack how to load the dishwasher…

me: Jack, I thought I asked you to put your bowl in the dishwasher.

Jack: I did.

me: Where is it??

Jack: Under that other bowl.

me: ?? (They were stacked on top of each other)

I guess we take these things for granted and maybe never get around to teaching some basics that we’ve known for decades.

I watched Jack undress, trying to take his pants off by pulling the waist down both legs as far as he could, then pulling as hard as he could, getting both feet caught in the material; essentially stuck.

me: Jack, pull one leg at a time, from the bottom, and then you  won’t get stuck AND the pants won’t be inside out!

Jack: No one cares Mom. (More grunting)

me: Sigh.

And then, this afternoon, I hear a part of a conversation coming from the living room. There’s a brain in there somewhere! But it learns what it wants!!!

Jack: (helping his friend set up their wii remotes) Okay, first we have to start this other game and pause it to force us to have to choose another remote and then we’ll get the option to sync them both. Then you click here like this. Not sure it will work… Oh look! It’s asking to sync! So you just simultaneously hold these buttons down… Wooooo! And now we have both remotes so we can bowl! Look, your battery life is showing it’s pretty low. 

me: ???

(Maybe he can teach me a few things too!)


1 new thing I learned from an 8-year-old


The scene opens to a dimly-lit train interior packed with Millennials going to NYC. And then there’s us. Playing Scrabble on my iPad. Two 11-year-old girls sit across from us. Jack keeps one eye on them at all times. He adopts a “cool guy” slouch sit posture.

me: Your turn.

Jack: (thinks for a bit while studying his letters). Ohhh! Ah-HA!

me: Looking over his shoulder. What’s that? That’s not a word.

Jack: It sure is.

me: No it is not. I’m looking it up.

I pull up the definition and start reading it out loud as Jack reads with me. I gasp, then stop reading. Then start laughing. The two girls giggle. Jack looks pleased with himself.

me: Where’d you learn THAT?

Jack: Around.

Definition: Check it out here...


Bored Games


me: Outside!

Jack: Can’t we watch a video??

me: No TV on school nights. New 4th grade rules.

Jack: Awwwww!!! But there’s literally nothing to do!!!!

me: Why don’t you play Battleship?

Jack: Aaarrgghhhh!! We’re not playing Battleship!! That’s a board game! Emphasis on “Bored”!!!

me: (I just had to laugh at that one…)

Now they are in the dining room designing comics. Mom = 1





me: What’s that???

Jack: My game name…(Jack’s friend starts laughing)

me: Sigh. Such a stud??

Jack: My other friend told me to pick that.

me: Oy. (Then I looked over at the friend visiting Jack) And what’s your game name?

Friend: Bob.

me: (blank stare) Ok. enough…Outside!

Jack: But he just joined my Minecraft world!!!

me: Time for you guys to put the electronics down and join the real world.

Jack and Friend: (look at me oddly)

Jack: Dude! How about we just play minecraft outside!? Yeah!

Friend: Yeah awesome!

me: Electronics stay in the house!

Jack: Awww. Dude. It’s ok, we can still play and just pretend we’re actually IN minecraft!

me: Imagine that.

Jack: Dude you can come to my mom’s class later and we can play then. I always use electronics during her class.

Friend: Hmmm, do they have wi-fi?

Jack: Sigh, noooo. But maybe we can sneak out and find a Starbucks…

me: Sigh…I can hear you!