I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Holidays

When waffles go bad


Or “waffling”. That’s what I call it when I’m making waffles. It’s also what I call the indecision that Jack sometimes has, which has been a common thing in our house since … well since he could talk! So… since he was 2 and a half?

Jack at age 3: Mommy I want to wear these shoes.

me: Ok let’s get them on.

Jack: NO I want those shoes because maybe I’m running today! (He grabs his sneakers)

me: That’s fine but we have to get them on or we’ll be late.

Jack: But wait! Maybe those are better!!!

me: (sensing the futility)  Ok Ok let’s go, Jack, you have to pick one or I will pick for you.

Jack: (hysterics)…

I chose the sneakers I believe. 🙂

————–—-

Fast forward to the present day. Yesterday actually.

me: Jack, let’s take a walk to the beach. (Our campsite was about 1/10th of a mile from the ocean.

Jack (at age 12): But, I don’t want to swim!

me: I didn’t say you had to swim, I just want to walk there and check out the beach and see how the water feels.

Jack: Should I change?

me: For what?

Jack; In case I want to swim!?

me: (feeling the old pattern starting to unfold) If you want to put on your bathing suit just in case, go ahead….

Jack: The water’s probably too cold to swim! 

me: So let’s just walk there and check it out. 

Jack: But what if we get there and I want to swim???

me: You’ll walk back and get your bathing suit on… 

Jack: Ooohhhhh… (hand wringing)

me: Ok I’m walking… byeeeee!

Jack: (in true waffler fashion) Wait! I’m going to change!!

(He changed into his bathing suit, he did swim, it wasn’t too cold, AND he had fun.)

Anyone else have waffles for breakfast? 🙂

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Can you use these words in a sentence?


Our language is always evolving. With slang and digital technology, texting shortcuts and memes, lyrics to songs and ethnic flavor…new words and phrases are expected, welcomed, tested and enjoyed. Totes!

As always, and especially now that he’s in 7th grade and has always been pretty well spoken for a kid, Jack has taken it upon himself to make sure I hear any new words over and over and over and…overrrrrr…

Until I’m triggered.

Jack: That’s so dank!

me: Is that bad?

Jack: Don’t get all triggered.

me: But is it bad? It sounds bad but also good.

Jack: It’s lit.

me: So that’s bad. (I know it’s good)

Jack: Sigh.

I’m sure you’ve heard of fidget spinners, and fidget cubes right? How many do you own? How many of them light up? OMG.

Jack had to order some from Canada, and then he needed a deluxe one and then he needed the cube. Keyword, need. He doesn’t need these. Maybe some kids need them, Jack doesn’t. They’re supposed to keep you focused but instead they keep Jack unfocused and worrying about his fidget spinner. I think teachers are now starting to take them away in school.

Another fad and I’m sure it will be gone by the start of school next year. Pokémon Go anyone?

Jack slept at his friends house last night and had to come home to pick up his stuff. I was calling up to him to make sure he had everything and instead of answering me he screamed out at the top of his lungs. When I asked what was wrong he said I sounded like a triggered feminist. Sigh.

He’s such a scrub sometimes.

Happy Memorial Day! 

Jack was supposed to March with the school band. He had a concert in Tuesday and has been practicing like crazy. Parade is canceled again for year number 2 in a row 😦


Belated Mother’s Day wishes!


I was too busy enjoying my day to actually post about enjoying my day! Isn’t that nice when it happens that way? I hope you all had an amazing Mother’s Day and that your children made you feel as special as mine did.

Jack was in rare form, starting Saturday night. He marched around the house not allowing me to lift a finger and whenever I ask for anything. It was hysterical. I got massages and drinks when I needed them and covers folded back for me and he listened to everything I told him to do. It was heavenly.

I ordered cupcakes from Scottcakes in Provincetown Mass. for my Mother’s Day gift. Over the weekend, Jack and I am his friend manage to consume them all. Divine they are! Visit Scottcakes.com or simply go to Cape Cod and visit them on commercial Street in Provincetown ha ha.

These are a few things that Jack said yesterday, and I just had to share them because he still continuing his trend LOL.

The first comment was about the cupcakes. I said oh boy I shouldn’t have be into. Now I feel kind of sick. How do you feel?

Jack: I didn’t get sick eating the cupcakes, I felt amazing! It was a morale booster!

The second comment it was about my blog. I think I need to monetize. I asked Jack if he thought it was a good idea.

Jack: Monetize? Oh I know how to monetize! You use Adsense duhhh. Everyone knows that.

And, lastly, Jack has detention tonight. It is his first attention in middle school. I’m not proud of it, and I don’t think he should be either.

Jack: I’m a pioneer! I’m the first kid in my grade to get detention!

Sigh.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!


London: Days 2 & 3

Omg such nice weather here! We’ve walked miles and miles around London and along the Thames. Today we hit 10 miles, yesterday 12… nice!

We seem to have done it all but still have a Muggle Harry Potter Tour, Stonehenge, a play, the double decker tourbus, Windsor Castle, etc. so much left to do!

me: We didn’t get our run in this morning… 

Jack: I got enough exercise. We walked all day!

me: But a run gets your heart rate up and…

(He takes off running)

me: Heyyyy! Let’s keep going!

Jack: Uh no. I’m only running across the street so I don’t get hit by the crazy bus drivers!

(We literally almost got run over by a bus coming from an unexpected direction.)

It was super easy to get around, all the London Pass attractions worked out well, the sightseeing boat was fun, and we generally just ate and drank as we went. No worries as everyone was really accommodating about Jack’s nut allergy. He seems to be less worried now. 

It’s a great city to walk in, especially in this amazing weather!

Time for bed. We have to get up early!



Germany: Day 1


We landed in Germany at around 3 am our time, 8 am local time. Koln (Cologne) is a very pretty city with lots to see and do! We visited the Dom Cathedral…


…and walked for miles looking at shops (including the beer museum, nutcracker store, and a few local gallerys). 



We stopped at a street stall and ate curry Wurst with pommes frittes (same words for French fries that they use in France). Yes curry wurst is a thing. 


We also visited our German sales team, saw their office, and had a quick sushi dinner with them and picked up some groceries at a local market.


Now it’s 8:30pm here and 3:30pm back home. Time to catch up on Zzzs.

I had been waiting for Jack to call for about 20 minutes. Where was that boy? He had instructions to get off the bus, feed Bella, change her water, scoop her litter and then call me. I was getting wonky after only 4 hours of sleep on the plane last night, if that.

Finally he called.

me: Hi Jack! Want to FaceTime?

Jack: Nah…

Too late I had already dialed in.

me: Hey there you are! How was Bella? 

Jack: Good. She’s eating. I changed her water and scooped her litter. 

me: Awesome, thanks! Why didn’t you call me when you were home? (I noticed he was back at his friend’s house)

Jack: I didn’t want to. Bella was eating. 

me: That’s ok. You’re walking in circles over there eh? What are you doing? Any homework?

Jack: Nope! Gotta go use the bathroom.

me: Oh ok. Um…Talk to you later. Love you.

Jack: Bye, love you too.

And that was it! Guess he’s not missing me yet! I’m now officially deliriously tired. 🙂 tomorrow we officially start working at a big international tradeshow. Should be interesting!

Here are a few more pics! Enjoy!


Yes…Jack is still Irish and I’m not

Or am I?


When I was a kid, St. Patrick’s Day always meant something, because I would wear green to school, and get green mashed potatoes and cupcakes, and wear pins that said “kiss me I’m Irish”, even though I wasn’t, and all that fun stuff. 

Now that I’m older, and not even 1%  Irish, it’s a holiday that kind of sneaks up on me and goes right past. I know a lot of Irish people, and my son is Irish too, but that usually doesn’t help me remember to wear green ha ha.

Me: Jack, go change your shirt. Put on the green one.

Jack: Why? No one’s going to care.

Me: you’ll care. And I’ll care. And Saint Patrick will care. Go pick out a green shirt because you’re Irish.

Jack: do we have any of those pins that say kiss me I’m Irish?

Me: no I don’t think we do, and even if we did, I wouldn’t know where they are.

Jack: ( calling from upstairs ) I don’t know which shirt is green!

I forget sometimes that he is colorblind.

Me: it’s the long sleeve shirt that’s farther over to the right in the… Oh forget it I’ll come up and show you.

Jack: is it this one? (He found the right one!)

Me: yeah that’s it! Now you look like my little Irish boy. That mixed with German. Explains a lot.

Jack: what was that?

Me: oh nothing…

And, boy does that explain a lot! Ha ha. Anyone else out there a mix of Irish and German, or have a child or spouse with that combo? Let me know what you think 🙂

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Here’s Moca chewing something green ha ha.


Happy New Year! And no …we don’t have cable…

   
Yeah, so…we haven’t had cable for maybe 5 years. It hasn’t been a problem at all… Until tonight.  
I’ve rigged up a digital antenna whenever I need to watch something “live”, like the superbowl, or World Cup or like a debate or something. No biggie. The rest of the time we watch Netflix. Or rent movies on Apple TV.

  
But tonight, two of Jack’s friends are sleeping over and I just pulled them away from their Star Wars marathon to come watch the countdown. Live. On TV.

me: 38 minutes guys! Wanna watch? 

Jack: Do you have it on the right channel?

me: Not yet. Hold on the signal is wigging out. Stop moving. 

I literally have to go adjust the digital rabbit ears in the window. Jack’s friends watch with horrified and confused looks on their faces.

Friend 1: Is that thing making the TV work? In the window???

me: Uhhh, we don’t have cable, so this is how we get channels.

Jack: It only works if I stand over here right Mom?

me: Uhhh. (Slightly embarrassed) Heh heh. (I keep adjusting)

Friend 2: Is this like the olden days kind of TV?

me: No, it’s a real TV but we pay nothing for cable… That’s all. Oh crap the signal stinks. Sigh. (I laugh self consciously) Ummm this is how we have to get local channels, that’s all. (Adjust, adjust)

Jack: Is this the ball dropping? It doesn’t look like Times Square! Who’s that???

me: It’s Pit Bull, so it’s probably Miami. Sigh. I don’t know. 

Jack: It’s just guys rapping! Can’t we watch New York??

Friend 1: Yeah that’s not the ball dropping. Let’s go watch illuminati videos on my phone til midnight.

me: Sigh.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

May 2016 be filled with all the channels you can handle!!

And yeah, all 3 boys just saw this and said WHAT????