Conversations, Digital Technology, Phone Calls, Uncategorized

Grandpa’s introduction to tech

Specifically the iPhone 7.

phonecartoon

Jack’s Grandpa, my dad, is not computer literate and up until about 2 weeks ago had a push-button flip phone. His idea of technology is the ATM machine which he still uses with the help of the bank manager at his local TD branch. He knows the manager by name, naturally, and all the tellers know him.

I got my dad a cell phone a few years back for the simple reason of safety and updates, since I live in CT and he lives in MA. I found a very cheap and very reliable service through Net10, and literally paid $16 per month for him to have cell service. Boy did he struggle with that cell phone. He didn’t know the difference between the green send button and the red hang up button (mostly because he’s red/green colorblind LOL), because he wouldn’t ever put his glasses on and was guessing at which button to push.

Over the months he learned to successfully send and receive calls, but still preferred to talk to people via the wall-mounted kitchen phone, which thankfully had been updated at one point from the original yellow rotary phone. And that was probably the first and only upgrade it got.

We (ok “I”) recently decided that it was time for him to have an iPhone for the simple fact that he could Facetime with all the grand kids and even with the very first GREAT grand kid. If I had known the trauma I would have to endure to simply get him to make a call on this phone (which now he will only do via Siri), I would have opted to upgrade him to a newer push-button phone, albeit with bigger buttons. Sigh. I was trying to help.

Jack: Grandpa Face-timed me today.

me: What?? Really? OMG, how!

Jack: He figured it out I guess. But when I answered, he asked ME why I was calling HIM!

me: He dialed you by mistake?

Jack: I don’t know… he had no clue what was happening or why I could even see him.

me: Well he must have butt dialed you, but that’s so weird! I had showed him how to Facetime before so he knows what that is.

Jack: He was walking to the store and was very confused.

me: Sigh.

TWO WEEKS EARLIER:

me: Dad, so you have to turn the phone ON before you use it and enter your passcode.

Dad: This button?

me: Call that the “Home” button from now on so we are saying the same thing.

Dad: Now what? I just push the numbers in?

me: Yes, the ones we set up for you. Push them now.

Dad: Okay, now what?

me: Now you’re on the HOME screen. See the little phone at the bottom?

Dad: The bottom of what? I’m holding the phone.

me: No, the little green (sigh) I mean the phone receiver icon at the bottom.

Dad: What’s an icon?

me: Seriously? The picture! Of the phone! At the bottom…

Dad: Ok, so what do I do?

me: Just touch the phone icon and then you can start to make calls.

Dad: Do I have to enter my secret code again here?

me: No, that’s the keypad like on a phone. I mean it IS a phone key pad, sigh, you now can dial someone’s number. When the numbers are dark, you enter your passcode, when they are white, you’re in the phone keypad. Try to dial my cell phone and I’ll test it with you right now.

Dad: (presses one number for like 5 seconds). It’s not working. I got an “edit” message.

me: Sigh… no it’s a TOUCH screen so just gently touch it. (I wait). No a little harder than that but not more than a split second.

(He punches in my phone number, supposedly.)

Dad: Now what?

me: After you punch in the numbers, hit the green phone icon.

Dad: Again? How many times do I need to hit that button before I can make a call?? On the old phone you just pick up and dial. I thought technology was supposed to make things easier. I hit that button already three times!

me: Just. Hit. The, Button.

Dad: I have to dial the area code?

me: Yes. Always.

Dad: Even for local calls?

me: Yes, because you’re not…  Ugh, just yes. Always.

Dad: Ok, hold on. Is it ringing? (I just stare at him) It’s not working.

me: Gimme, let me see.

Dad: Maybe Jack should help me. He would start with the basics, you’re all over the place.

me: I’m teaching you to dial a simple phone call. This IS the basics.

Dad: Well you’re not very good at it.

me: Oh, look, you made a typo in my phone number. (I pause). Do NOT ask me what a typo is. Technology doesn’t remove the English language from your brain.

Dad: Well I don’t have my glasses on!

me: Well… get your glasses on!

(I wait… and wait.)

me: Where’d you go??

(I wait….)

Dad: Ok, I couldn’t see the glasses…it took me a minute…now I can see. What do I push again? The screen went back to black.

me: Sigh. Enter your passcode.

Dad: Didn’t I already do that?

me: SOB…

TWO WEEKS LATER, AFTER THE RANDOM FACETIME CALL TO JACK

me: That was so funny how Grandpa called you. I was dying! He has no clue still after 7 hours of me teaching him and writing stuff down for him to follow.

Jack: Mom, you should let me teach him. I would start with the basics.

(OMG Jack sounds just like my dad!!!)

And, I’m exhausted just typing a portion of this story for you to read. If you repeat the top back and forth, oh about 25 more times, throw in some F-bombs from me (and I don’t swear in front of my dad), you’ll sort of be where I am right now.

TWO DAYS AGO:

me: (grabbing my cell) Hello?

Dad: Hey I made a call!

me: Wow, so you figured out the difference between a keypad and the passcode?

Dad: No, I just use Siri and it calls you.

me: Sigh.

Dad: Hey, so if I ask it a question do I always have to say Hey Siri, or can I just keep asking questions?

me: It’s not a companion, it’s a computer. Sigh.

Dad: So… that’s a yes??

LOLLLLL!

Please send wine.

toon662

Conversations, Phone Calls, Uncategorized

It’s almost ‘Sh*t My 14-Year-Old Says’ time

Gasp.

I cannot be the mother of a 14-year-old. I just cannot. But I guess I can’t stop it from happening. I better just get ready and accept it. Hence the NEW blog design. Ta-daaaa! I wanted to unveil it for Jack’s birthday in January, but I’m bored, and Jack is in NYC with his dad, and well I got to playing around… and this is what happens when I have free time. I create something!

I’ll update the photo and the header, naturally, when Jack turns 14. This was the only photo I felt comfortable adding to the header without giving Jack editorial approval. Otherwise, sheesh, the roof would blow off this house if I posted something unapproved.

Remember when I could post anything and show any photo because I was the BOSS of Jack? I’m still the boss, but these kids get so darn “mouthy” and “opinionated” lol. So yeah, no more random cute photos without approval. No funny stories without approval. No new blog designs with new photos… you get the idea.

I hope you all like this layout, it’s much cleaner and I should have done this years ago, but being a single mom, and a full-time worker, and a rescuer of multiple animals, and a home owner, kinda makes my free time next to nil. I’m lucky I can even post once or twice a month these days. I want to post more. Really. But with all the restrictions placed on the content (by Jack) and the lack of conversational time we have together (because Jack is plugged into some device) I simply don’t get the relevant content needed to produce a lot of “sh*t”. But there are gems that fall in-between those times. So, until I completely run out of material, or am completely forbidden to document it, I will continue to produce the sh*t you are accustomed to reading.

That does not sound flattering to me at all.

But I know you understand, because you are a great loyal reader of this sh*t and it must make you smile at least a little bit.

me: (via text to Jack) I’m upgrading the design on your blog. Can I put a pic of you not facing camera on it? Shows backpack.

Jack: Lemme see.

me: (sending pic) Here.

Jack: Yeah that’s fine.

me: Do you like the design?

Jack: Ya.

(hmmm, this is easier than I thought… he’s maturing!!)

me: What are you doing right now?

Jack: Playin fortnite with Alex.

Alex lives a few houses down from us. Jack goes to NYC to play a game online with him. Weird right? 😉

me: Ok don’t play too long and get some sleep. Goodnight.

Silence

me: GOODNIGHT

Silence

me: And here is the part where you say Goodnight and I love you back.

Jack: Goodnight.

me: Sigh.

So, there you have it. Working on the maturity. 🙂

 

Conversations, Phone Calls

Why is it so hard to call your mom?

So yeah, Jack is not one to race to the phone each night to call me when he’s away. It’s like pulling teeth to get a 5-minute call to hear about his day. :((( He is currently with a friend enjoying Lake George, NY and having a great time. Mom gets to stay home and work. Sigghhh.

I tried to get a text convo going tonight and this is basically how it went 😳

Summary: I’m a nerd and not very funny 😆😆😆😆😆!

Btw if he really blocked me that phone would be sooooooo gone.

Conversations, Digital Technology, Phone Calls

Socially acceptable to stalk


Everyone! That means you. If you’re looking to get your daily dose of Jack’s sh*t, follow me on Instagram @debinort. I realize I only post here maybe once a week these days, but I’m instagramming multiple times a day usually.  

So, just in case you were missing any of the stories or want a real time glimpse…head over there!

The photo on this post is also on Instagram, just to give you an idea. 🙂

This was the opening line of Jack’s call to his dad today.

Jack: Hey, yeah, so how many kills did you make? (Pause) Cool!!

Ummmmm…..?

See you on some other social channels hopefully!

Conversations, Phone Calls, Uncategorized

Phone excuses

All said by Jack when he’s simply had enough of talking to Mom on the phone:

I was kinda in the middle of something.

You’re breaking up.

Welllll, Okaayyy…

Love you. Miss you. Bye!

Can I get back to what I was doing?

I can’t hear you, ok bye.

I’m gonna go finish this game…

I was kinda playing something…

It’s ok Mom, you can hang up if you want to.

Phone Calls

Happy Father’s Day

Jack is spending Father’s Day with Dennis…well the whole weekend that is…so I’ve been on my own. I drove to Mass to visit my Dad and family and it seems like all we’ve done is eat. Ugh!!!

It’s been so quiet without Jack and I actually freaked myself out on Saturday morning when I thought he was “missing”. The cats woke me up at 5am for food Grrrrr!! After I fed them I thought I heard jack walking upstairs. I was like Oh no, why is he up so early???

I started up the stairs and noticed that his door was open so I was confused because his light wasn’t on and his noise machine (air purifier) was off. When I got all the way up and saw that his room was empty and he wasn’t in the bathroom…I freaked out for about 5 seconds, as only a mom can do. Holy crap. My mind really played a trick on me, and I’m still slightly jittery when I’m home alone. My divorce was final on Tuesday so it really is a new feeling. Strange eh!

With that said I’ll leave you with a snippet of our phone call this morning. Dennis was taking Jack to a friend’s birthday party. So precious.

Jack: Hi Mom.

me: Hi sweetie! Whatcha doing?

Jack: we went to (mumble mumble)

me: Oh I didn’t quite hear that…

Jack: Mumble Mumble!!

me: uhhh…still no…

Jack: What’s the address to the party?

me: Ohhh! I couldn’t hear you. Well I’m on a hike with your uncles right now so I don’t have the invitation. I emailed it to Daddy…

Jack: We’re driving! Helloooo!

me: Hey watch that tone! Put Daddy on…

Jack: He’s driving I said! That’s illegal!

me: Well you’ll just have to…

(click)

They hung up. Awesome right???

Food, Phone Calls

Hot pineapple phone call

 

 

 

 

 

Jack: Hi Dad!

Dennis: Hey how was your day?

Jack: Pretty good. We’re going to Mommy’s class now.

Dennis: Oh…what did you eat for dinner?

Jack: (harsh whisper to me) What was that stuff called?

me: Pineapple fried rice.

Jack: It was pineapple fried rice.

Dennis: Sounds good.

Jack: It’s really not as good as it sounds because it had HOT pineapple in it. I mean really, who puts hot pineapple in FRIED RICE!? Sheesh…

Dennis: So you like your pineapple cold?

Jack: Yeah, the way it’s SUPPOSED to be.

(they finish up the call)

me: So you didn’t like my rice, eh?

Jack: Ummm…I did, just not the HOT pineapple.

me: Okay, no hot pineapple next time.

Jack: You know I really think we said HOT pineapple enough tonight. Why do you go ahead and make dinners that start to take over my life?

Conversations, Phone Calls

Not a flying toy, not a flying toy

You must know that quote from Toy Story, right? When Buzz first learns that he’s a toy? Jack and I somehow started using it as an inside joke, and we say it if someone is either not making any sense or pretending to be something they’re not. Like cool. Or nice. But…Maybe the joke was on me?

me: Jack, Dad’s on the phone…

Jack: Hi Dad… Yeah…I don’t know what your talking about…huh? I am listening…sheesh!!

me: Guess Dad’s not a flying toy, heh heh…

Jack: (hears me) Yeah Not a flying toy, NOT a flying toy!, (he cracks up)

me: (laughing) he’s totally not a flying toy…

Jack: (still on phone) yeah… That was Mom…haha. It’s from Toy Story… Mom is cracking up now because she thinks it’s funny. I’m just humoring her.

Phone Calls

Time for the hearing aid…almost…

Phone calls with Jack are always entertaining. And I mean always. If I’m listening to him talk to someone, I am thoroughly entertained by his side of the conversation. And if I’m on the receiving end of a call from Jack, well that’s just something else altogether. Sort of a cross between entertainment and me getting berated because I’m not a mind reader.

me: Hi!

Jack: Hi Mom! I called you.

me: I know. Sorry, I just turned the phone on. What’s going on?

Jack: Oh, nothing much, I’m at Dad’s.

me: Yeah? Having any fun?

Jack: Not right now.

me: Do you have some fun things planned for today?

Jack: (garbled) Maybe…

me: What? I couldn’t hear that…

Jack: (more garbling) Maybe!

me: Sorry, did you say Babies?

Jack: MAYBE!! (now the phone’s in his mouth)

me: Uh…(pause) can you move away from the phone a bit and try again, I can’t really hear you.

Jack: (from across the room) maybe…!!

me: How about closer than that. Sigh. Never mind.

Jack: I! SAID! MAYBE!

me: Oh I heard you now. So maybe what? I forgot what the heck I asked you ha ha.

Jack: If you can’t hear on the phone, maybe you shouldn’t talk on the phone.

me: Nice. It’s the signal sweetie, sometimes it cuts out.

Jack: Don’t you know when I say Maybe I mean Maybe?

me: But I couldn’t hear you, so I didn’t know that. So what do you think you’ll do today?

Jack: (Big sigh…he ignores me out of frustration) Okay well love you miss you and see you soon!

 

Maybe I should just text him?