I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Phone Calls

Socially acceptable to stalk


Everyone! That means you. If you’re looking to get your daily dose of Jack’s sh*t, follow me on Instagram @debinort. I realize I only post here maybe once a week these days, but I’m instagramming multiple times a day usually.  

So, just in case you were missing any of the stories or want a real time glimpse…head over there!

The photo on this post is also on Instagram, just to give you an idea. 🙂

This was the opening line of Jack’s call to his dad today.

Jack: Hey, yeah, so how many kills did you make? (Pause) Cool!!

Ummmmm…..?

See you on some other social channels hopefully!


Phone excuses

All said by Jack when he’s simply had enough of talking to Mom on the phone:

I was kinda in the middle of something.

You’re breaking up.

Welllll, Okaayyy…

Love you. Miss you. Bye!

Can I get back to what I was doing?

I can’t hear you, ok bye.

I’m gonna go finish this game…

I was kinda playing something…

It’s ok Mom, you can hang up if you want to.


How to play when you’re 7

me: (talking to Jack on the phone) Whatcha doin?

Jack: Playing.

me: Like a game, or what?

Jack: No. Just playing.

me: With toys or cars?

Jack: No not really.

me: Made up game?

Jack: I’m not really sure, I’m just playing.

me: …are you holding anything?

Jack: No. Can I call you back? I’m about to do something really interesting!


Happy Father’s Day

Jack is spending Father’s Day with Dennis…well the whole weekend that is…so I’ve been on my own. I drove to Mass to visit my Dad and family and it seems like all we’ve done is eat. Ugh!!!

It’s been so quiet without Jack and I actually freaked myself out on Saturday morning when I thought he was “missing”. The cats woke me up at 5am for food Grrrrr!! After I fed them I thought I heard jack walking upstairs. I was like Oh no, why is he up so early???

I started up the stairs and noticed that his door was open so I was confused because his light wasn’t on and his noise machine (air purifier) was off. When I got all the way up and saw that his room was empty and he wasn’t in the bathroom…I freaked out for about 5 seconds, as only a mom can do. Holy crap. My mind really played a trick on me, and I’m still slightly jittery when I’m home alone. My divorce was final on Tuesday so it really is a new feeling. Strange eh!

With that said I’ll leave you with a snippet of our phone call this morning. Dennis was taking Jack to a friend’s birthday party. So precious.

Jack: Hi Mom.

me: Hi sweetie! Whatcha doing?

Jack: we went to (mumble mumble)

me: Oh I didn’t quite hear that…

Jack: Mumble Mumble!!

me: uhhh…still no…

Jack: What’s the address to the party?

me: Ohhh! I couldn’t hear you. Well I’m on a hike with your uncles right now so I don’t have the invitation. I emailed it to Daddy…

Jack: We’re driving! Helloooo!

me: Hey watch that tone! Put Daddy on…

Jack: He’s driving I said! That’s illegal!

me: Well you’ll just have to…

(click)

They hung up. Awesome right???


Hot pineapple phone call

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jack: Hi Dad!

Dennis: Hey how was your day?

Jack: Pretty good. We’re going to Mommy’s class now.

Dennis: Oh…what did you eat for dinner?

Jack: (harsh whisper to me) What was that stuff called?

me: Pineapple fried rice.

Jack: It was pineapple fried rice.

Dennis: Sounds good.

Jack: It’s really not as good as it sounds because it had HOT pineapple in it. I mean really, who puts hot pineapple in FRIED RICE!? Sheesh…

Dennis: So you like your pineapple cold?

Jack: Yeah, the way it’s SUPPOSED to be.

(they finish up the call)

me: So you didn’t like my rice, eh?

Jack: Ummm…I did, just not the HOT pineapple.

me: Okay, no hot pineapple next time.

Jack: You know I really think we said HOT pineapple enough tonight. Why do you go ahead and make dinners that start to take over my life?


Not a flying toy, not a flying toy

You must know that quote from Toy Story, right? When Buzz first learns that he’s a toy? Jack and I somehow started using it as an inside joke, and we say it if someone is either not making any sense or pretending to be something they’re not. Like cool. Or nice. But…Maybe the joke was on me?

me: Jack, Dad’s on the phone…

Jack: Hi Dad… Yeah…I don’t know what your talking about…huh? I am listening…sheesh!!

me: Guess Dad’s not a flying toy, heh heh…

Jack: (hears me) Yeah Not a flying toy, NOT a flying toy!, (he cracks up)

me: (laughing) he’s totally not a flying toy…

Jack: (still on phone) yeah… That was Mom…haha. It’s from Toy Story… Mom is cracking up now because she thinks it’s funny. I’m just humoring her.


Time for the hearing aid…almost…

Phone calls with Jack are always entertaining. And I mean always. If I’m listening to him talk to someone, I am thoroughly entertained by his side of the conversation. And if I’m on the receiving end of a call from Jack, well that’s just something else altogether. Sort of a cross between entertainment and me getting berated because I’m not a mind reader.

me: Hi!

Jack: Hi Mom! I called you.

me: I know. Sorry, I just turned the phone on. What’s going on?

Jack: Oh, nothing much, I’m at Dad’s.

me: Yeah? Having any fun?

Jack: Not right now.

me: Do you have some fun things planned for today?

Jack: (garbled) Maybe…

me: What? I couldn’t hear that…

Jack: (more garbling) Maybe!

me: Sorry, did you say Babies?

Jack: MAYBE!! (now the phone’s in his mouth)

me: Uh…(pause) can you move away from the phone a bit and try again, I can’t really hear you.

Jack: (from across the room) maybe…!!

me: How about closer than that. Sigh. Never mind.

Jack: I! SAID! MAYBE!

me: Oh I heard you now. So maybe what? I forgot what the heck I asked you ha ha.

Jack: If you can’t hear on the phone, maybe you shouldn’t talk on the phone.

me: Nice. It’s the signal sweetie, sometimes it cuts out.

Jack: Don’t you know when I say Maybe I mean Maybe?

me: But I couldn’t hear you, so I didn’t know that. So what do you think you’ll do today?

Jack: (Big sigh…he ignores me out of frustration) Okay well love you miss you and see you soon!

 

Maybe I should just text him?