I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Tae Kwon Do

Doesn’t “dank” mean cold and dark?


OK, I get that slang does creep into our language and words take on other meanings… 

It happens quite a bit and it even happened back in the Stone Ages haha …when cool meant something was hot and hot meant something was cool and word meant something was true and cold meant something was bad, and bad meant something was good… And so on and so forth.

But now, we have this other NEW camp incident where kids are getting in trouble, because they aren’t allowed to say the word “dank.”

Jack: oh, and by the way we’re not supposed to say dank anymore at camp. Add that to the list!

Me: why? Doesn’t dank mean cold and dark like a cave? What’s the problem?

Jack: apparently it means something else… we just say it like “dank Memes!” That doesn’t even mean anything.

Me: trust me, I know, I’ve been hearing that from you for months, along with allah Akbar. Sigh.

Jack: well, apparently it has other meanings.

(So I grab my phone and look up the word dank. Well OK so it has to do with a type of marijuana, etc., and stoners and potheads, but it also has the real meaning of cold and dark!)

Me: I still don’t see why this is a thing. If you were saying “wow I smoked some dank marijuana” or …wait maybe dank IS the marijuana… (?) anyway I don’t think you’re using it in a context that is bad.

Jack: tell that to the counselors.

Me: well just do what they tell you and don’t say it, keep your head down, and be good.

Jack: Mom, I don’t have that camp this week. I’m going to taekwondo camp remember?

Me: Is that where I’m bringing you? (I look around to make sure I’m going in the right direction on the highway…)

I can barely keep the camps straight, ha ha at least I was heading in the right direction towards taekwondo camp. 

Happy Monday!


Sunday Funday & a stressful week.


It’s been a busy week. Ok it’s been a busy month! So many activities and sports and parties and stuffffff!

Jack: I never have a free night!!! I have soccer practice Tuesday and Friday, then taekwondo Tuesday and Thursday, then games on Saturday and then your classes and homework!!!

me: You were free Wednesday remember? I skipped my class.

Jack: But all I did was worry about all the stuff I was going to HAVE to do the rest of the week! I’m too stressed!

me: Sigh.


The truth, the whole truth. Maybe.

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me: blah blah blah, so then I said blah blah blah… And then he said…blah blah…

(Me in a conversation with my mother about my last taekwondo test)

Jack: You did NOT say all that at the test.

me: Yes I did…

Jack: No! And Master Kim never said those words either! You’re lying!

me: Jack, I’m not lying…we did have this conversation. I might be paraphrasing a little because I don’t remember all of the exact…

Jack: (interrupting) Yeah yeah, in my book paraphrasing equals lying!


Almost a black belt – Nerd style

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Jack and I are taking our final pre-tests this Friday for our black belts. Can you say holy sh*t??

It’s been a long 3 years yo! Jack is so excited. And of course so am I. Good accomplishment for an old lady ha ha.

I catch Jack flexing in the mirror and checking out his “muscles”. Though I have to admit they are in there and ready to come out. But right now he’s so tall and lanky.

Jack: I’m a jock you know.

me: Jock?

Jack: (flexing) Yeah an 8-year-old jock!

(Said as he goes off to put on his glasses, bury himself in Harry Potter for an hour and then play on the computer)

me: Ummm… I think there’s gonna be another name for you…


Why Jack needs a good master

All of us in the adult Tae Kwon Do class joke about how our instructor (Master) would make a great nanny. The kids listen to and respect him. They try their hardest to do their best in class. They do not talk back. Ever. If we threaten to call the master when they misbehave at home, there is a terror-stricken look on their face and they start to cry. I think we’re really onto something here.

The master does not yell or raise his voice even. He’s not mean, but he does point out the children’s errors, and makes them correct the problem immediately. I’ve seen him send a kid to sit against the wall for the entire class for not listening. I’ve seen him take another kid’s belt for sticking his tongue out at his mom. I think it’s worth the extra monthly fee just to have this kind of support system on my side! Do any of you have children in martial arts? Is it the same deal?

Jack recently came to my class and was playing in the background as we practiced. He decided he was hungry, and when I whispered that I had no snacks, he started to whine and cry. So I’m listening to the master as we practice our moves, but what I’m really hearing is “Mommmmmyyyyy, whine whine, MOMMmmmmmyyyyy, wahhhhhhh, sniffle whine cry, mooooommmmmmm….I’mmmm hungggrrryyyyy!” and so on and so forth.

Master: (stops class and looks right at Jack who is oblivious because he’s in full whine mode) Excuse me sir!

Jack: (jerks his head up) Huh?

Master: Did you say something sir!?

Jack: No sir! (immediately stops crying)

Master: That’s what I thought! (and we continue the class uninterrupted for the next half hour)

How can you NOT like that? Later I ask Jack how come he can listen to the master immediately but I get the whining and the carrying on.

me: Well, why do I get all the disrespect? Seriously Jack…

Jack: (gives his biggest smile) Isn’t this what you signed up for when you had me?

me: Grrrr…