I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Travel

Such bad jokesΒ 




Jack: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
me: Uhhhh, 8?

Jack: No. 10 tickles.

He stares at me.

me: Huh?? Ooohhhhh. Heheh.

We’ve been reduced to that kind of humor after a 3-hour delay at FLL airport! 

Omg the lightning!

We are back on the plane now and are slowly creeping toward the runway. See you on the other side!


Florida Vacation Recap


Jack and I are in our 3rd Uber of the trip. We didn’t rent a car this time and probably saved $200 at least. Plus my sister gave us lots of rides so that helped πŸ™‚

Today is our last day in Florida, we leave earlyyyyyyy tomorrow! I dreamt we overslept and missed our flight and I lost Jack. Not too cool.

We’re in the Uber heading to meet Jack’s cousins for an alligator air boat ride plus some dune buggy all-terrain-type tour. Should be fun!!! I’m wearing flip flops omg.

We had a great week here, the beach was fun and yesterday we snorkeled the whole morning. There were hundreds of fish all around us! On Thursday we visited the Miami Zoo, or Zoo Miami as it’s known. It’s really nice and we had fun with MY cousins and my sister riding the huge family bike through the zoo. It was hysterical.

We also spent a lot of time in the pool and walking along the beach. Very chill vacation. Today will probably be the busiest day. Oh, and I slept 10 hours and 10 minutes according to my Fitbit! Yikes! But sooooo needed.

Tomorrow we land and 15 minutes later meet to pickup Moca! Yippee! Back to the routine! (Update: flight delayed 3 .5 hours so far due to lightning)

And on Tuesday Jack gets his braces omg. He had spacers put in a week ago so no more gum or chewy candy or anything for maybe a year and a half! I keep forgetting. 

me: Jack do you want some gum?

Jack: (stares at me)

me: Well? Here… (I hand him sour patch gum)

Jack: Mom. I can’t have gum for 2 years.

me: Oh shoot sorry. Heh heh.

He shakes his head at me.

(Later)

me: Which kind of gum do you want? Fruity or mint?

Jack: (stares at me)

me: oops, sighhhhhh! Sorry.

Jack: Two years!

I think this will go on for 2 years. At least. :O

I looked at the weather for next week and it’s all thunderstorms here. Boo-ya Florida! We win! We got lucky this week. And I have some tan lines for a change. They won’t last but I’ll enjoy them while I have them πŸ™‚ Jack is somewhat allergic to either the son block or the dive mask. Ugh poor kid. His face is all irritated. 😦

Hopefully Jack enjoyed his time down here with me and my cousins and his cousins and aunt and uncle. Maybe we will see them again soon! 

Hopefully you’re all enjoying your summer (if you live in the U.S.) or tell me what season it is wherever you’re living! 

Here are some pics from the week…



Can we please get through security without an incident?

super soaker

IMG_5610

I will have an answer to that question in about 3 hours. We’re leaving for Florida later today, and as Jack and I talked about packing, and the general logistics of the airport and our luggage, we paused to remember and laugh about all of the other times we’ve gone through security with slight “issues”. We tried to remember if we ever had a time that we went through security without a hitch. There haven’t been many times. Sadly.

me: I remember the time you threw up all over the security guard and the conveyor belt in Kansas City. Sigh… I had throw up in my shoes. You were 3 and I raced back to the bathroom with you to clean you up. It was hopeless.

Jack: And then I threw up the entire plane ride, right?

me: Every 15 minutes for a 3-hour flight. It was the worst. I also remember the time you tried to bring a switchblade comb on the plane and the guard gave us a hard time, remember?

Jack: It was a spinny thing that we got from Disney.

me: No, it was a pop up comb. I remember.

Jack: Mom, I wasn’t even old enough to have one of those. I just got that like 2 years ago.

me: That’s when it happened. Why are there so many issues with security?

Jack: I remember when I was flying with Dad and my sunblock exploded in my backpack. I cleaned it, but the xray machine could still see it. They had to search Dad. He wasn’t happy.

me: Hahahahaha. Remember that time we met the guy on the plane that let you use his iPad? It was when Angry Birds first came out. When was that?

Jack: 2010, no 2011.

me: Yeah and then he was trying to show off and rode on the conveyor belt and you tried to follow him.

Jack: He was doing handstands haha!

me: His mom said he was showing off for us. That was funny. But you’re not supposed to ride on the luggage conveyor belts! Geez..

Jack: I remember you packed me a bunch of apples when I was going to Hawaii with dad. You know you’re not supposed to bring fruit in or out of that state!

me: I didn’t know that. Did you eat them?

Jack: Yeah I had to eat them all before we landed and about a pound of cheese!

me: Well I didn’t know if they would have nut-free food on the plane Jack, I had to pack something…

Jack: Well that was too much fruit.

me: And there was the time that security didn’t like that you had a nerf gun. I totally remember the security guard checking it out. But geez, it’s plastic and orange! They finally let you go through.

Jack: I don’t remember that…

me: Let’s see if you can get to Florida tonight without an incident. Okay? No contraband in your carry on luggage.

Jack: I can’t promise anything.

Update… 7/5/17… we were going through security in HPN, and naturally the guard pulls Jack’s red backpack off the conveyor belt and holds it up. “Whose bag is this??”

me: (pointing at Jack) His. Sighhhh.

Nothing came of it but they did have a thorough search. Not sure what flagged it though, they weren’t talking!

I also remembered what we call the “applesauce incident”. One guard wouldn’t let us through security with two little containers of applesauce. They were 3 oz each! His supervisor yelled at him and. Are him give us the applesauce back. 20 minute delay that trip if I remember correctly. Ugh!!!

 Update a few weeks later… I just remembered that on the flight home MY suitcase caused an uproar in security at Ft. Lauderdale Int. Airport… I had packed a huge bag of shells and it looked like a big green blob on the scanner photo. Many different supervisors had to come inspect it and then my bag had to be dismantled and checked with that bomb litmus paper lol. Took FOReverrrrrr. Must run in the family! :O


London: Days 5-7 :)


(Flowers outside our hotel…)

Ok I’m a little behind. We’ve been so busy that I’ve dropped into a coma of a sleep each night with a blog post half started. Sorrreeeee!

Jack: I’m not tired.

me: That’s because you’re wired. You had sugar and that weird M&M Milkshake.

Jack: Tummy hurts. That didn’t taste real.

me: Because it’s not. Bleh! Try counting sheep. Have them jump over the fence and ….

Jack: And what?

me: Huh? (I think I was asleep lol)

The last few days have been amazing. We’ve done a lot of touristy things and some off the trodden path things. Do I sound British yet mate?

me: Gettin a bit peckish!

Jack: You’re always hungry.

me: Manners mate! Sigh.

I already covered Wednesday so let’s see… Thursday we did our morning run around the London Eye square, then did a hop on hop off bus tour over to sort of near Piccadilly Circus. Crowded there but it was nice out so we didn’t mind more walking. We shopped, bought Jack a biking sized back pack,  I lost my credit card, then found my credit card (oy) and then we went to the play “The Play That Goes Wrong”. Jack was howling laughing it was so funny πŸ™‚
But before the play we ate at St. James pub. Fish and Chips again for me. Yum! 

We walked back to the hotel after the play as it was so nice out again!

Friday was our Stonehenge tour day. Long ride out to the countryside by bus and then a walk around the stones and then the bus ride back. I kind of expected it to be like that however it’s still worth the trip. Amazing things to see with your own eyes, those bloody big stones!


(Requisite tea)


(Rapeseed fields on the way to Stonehenge)

Jack: Kind of just a long ride and a short visit. 

me: Yep, but we saw the stones.

Jack: I’m gonna run around them.

me: Of course you are.

Jack: Time me! Bet I can do it in under 2 minutes!

me: Go!

(4:08 later)

Jack: Pant, wheeze, Everyone got in my way!

me: 4 minutes good time!

Jack: There, that’s my exercise for the day. Let’s get the shuttle back.

Haha.

This morning we walked to get a “proper” English breakfast, which happened to be at an Italian restaurant haha, but it was yummy. 

Prior to that we returned a book to Waterstones book store. Jack read it in one day. So we returned it and got the next one. 

Back to the breakfast…

They brought us the largest plates of food with eggs, ham, sausage, potato, mushrooms, toast, beans, and tomato. Omg. Tea with milk of course for me! My new fave. Jack had a cute little bottle of Italian Orange juice.



Then we made an impromptu stop into the FREE National Gallery at Trafalgar Square. I love the word free in this city.


 Jack opted to sit near a window and continue reading book 11 of the Cherub series. I saw mouth-watering paintings by Turner, Seurat, Cezanne, Pissarro, Van Gogh, Rubens, Monet and Stubbs jut to name a few… I feel smarter and more cultured. Ahhhhh. When I was done, I dragged him back to look at Van Gogh.

me: The sunflowers from the Doctor Who episode, remember?

Jack: Oh yeah, (glances at the painting) cool, can we go? (Speed walks out of the room)


See if you can name the artists in order! In the comments please!

Do it now.


Wasn’t that easy??

Ok…We are back at the hotel reading (Jack) and blogging (me), to chill for a bit. We have plans to visit Platform 9 3/4 soon. Harry Potter fans have been knocking themselves out trying to run right at that wall haha. Let’s see how we do.

me: Jack, we forgot the changing of the guards!

Jack: What? (Always with the headphones on)

me: We forgot the changing of the guards! At 10:30!

Jack: Oh whatever.

That’s about where we are mentally. All Londoned out I guess. Leaving bright and early tomorrow (9:40 am flight = 4:40am US time!). Just left the blog for a wee bit and confirmed the shuttle arriving at bloody 5:40 am which is 1:40 am at home! Also checked in to the airlines, changed our seats and got our boarding passes. Then I started packing and realized I hadn’t finished the blog. I think Jack has been in the bathroom this entire time!


London: Day 4

Wednesday! Halfway through the vacation week!

We had a full day today with a Tour for Muggles (Harry Potter walking tour), visited Abbey Road (Beatles, people!) and did a Ghost Bus Tour (nighttime bus ride with gristly details of London’s murders and notorious characters.

Another great day in London! We Ubered the heck out of this day!

We ate THE best burger of my life at Byron burger near Leicester Square. Actually it was near the bookstore alleyway that was the inspiration for JK Rowling’s version of Diagon Alley. Such a good little tour this morning.

I thought the ghost bus tour was a little Corny but Jack really liked it! I was worried he would be scared…

me: Jack are you ok with this?

Jack: What’s going to happen??

me: I don’t know…we’ll have to wait and see.

Jack: Look it up!

me: Sheesh…

Jack: Hold me.

(The other people on the bus had a chuckle at that)

Tired and leaving you with some pics from today. Nighty-night!


London: Day 1.5

Includes things from the first night and first day πŸ™‚ We arrived Saturday evening…

Jack and I are on our first vacation since we drove to South Carolina last August! We are in need of some down time. We hate leaving Moca and Bella but we can’t take them with us πŸ™‚

We had a great uneventful trip to the airport and through customs. Our reserved shuttle was on time and easy to find in the airport. The hotel Citadines Trafalgar Square is in an excellent location close to everything! We are psyched πŸ™‚

When we got to the hotel we were given a free smart phone which jack has claimed to call home and use however he wants while we are here.

The room is like a small apartment. Perfect for us and we can cook breakfast and snacks etc. we didn’t expect to spend much time there but it’s comfortable either way. Gym next door is included. Bonus! 

We did a lot of walking and got our bearings… Trafalgar Square, Leicester Square, the River Thames and 10 mikes of other sights like the Tower Bridge, London Bridge (yes I sang the song as we crossed and scared Jack haha). 

We saw a restaurant ice cream place called Milk Train, with a line around the Corner, and then a restaurant called Broccoli Pizza and Pasta with no line πŸ™‚

me: Why isn’t that place crowded?

Jack: If the first word is Broccoli, that can’t be good.

We couldn’t get over the 77 degree temps and clear blue sky! 

Cheerio! Hope to post more tonight to catch up on yesterday’s fun and today’s :)…


Last day in the U.S.


Some random things heard after Jack got off the bus yesterday. Now we areHappily flying to London! 300km away. Will post upon landing!

Cheerio!

——–

Jack: The secret is not to breathe

me: For what?

Jack: On how to eat massive amounts of food.

——–

Jack: Me gusta tocar migo. Hahaha!

me: You like what?

Jack: Hahahahaha.

me: (looking on Google translate) Sigh.

——–

I’ll stay my brilliant London posts tonight hopefully! πŸ˜‰