I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Travel

Cloudy with a chance of washing machines…

Jack was at his dad’s last weekend. He missed the major snow squall we had back here in CT. Too soon. TOO SOON!!!!!!

me: Jack did you get any snow in New York in Saturday? We had a snow squall!

Jack: What’s a squall?

me: Like a quick burst of snow flurries, sort of.

Jack: We didn’t have a squall but someone was throwing a washing machine off the roof and Dad had to call the police.

me: Um..,,

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Lucky Parking Spot

Jack and I are on the way to Florida! It only took 50 minutes to get to HPN and I got my lucky parking space right next to the 3rd floor entrance. Wooooo!

me: Remember last time I flew to Florida for work and had the two hour delay?

Jack: When was that?

me: Last month.

Jack: What did you do?

me: I sat on that bench right over there in the sun for two hours. Rather than waiting in the freezing cold airport!

Jack: Oh look the 3rd level parking is open.

(I drive up to my usual spot)

me: Oh look, my lucky spot is open!

Jack; Didn’t you just say your flight was delayed?

me: Yeah I guess this is a very unlucky spot.

Jack: Did you pack my goggles???!!!

me: No.

Jack; Aaarrrrrgghhh!!!!!

(It begins)

me: Let’s check the flight board, we’re early.

(Our flight is delayed 1.5 hours due to “weather”)

Jack: Sigh

me: Sigh


Quote of the day – At the Met

me: Jack, how come we never bring your selfie stick on these trips … we could get better photos …??

Jack: Because I’m not a 14-year-old girl…

me: Are you sure about that?

Jack: No.


Speak softly, but carry a big can of paint…

(A fun quote by street artist Banksy.)

Jack and I don’t feel well, nd have taken a day off. I still have a fever and haven’t really moved from the couch. He’s upstairs playing Mario.

Last night we both were exhausted and watched Exit Though the Gift Shop, a Banksy film I’ve loved for years and have seen many times. It was fun to watch Jack watch the film.

Jack’s become a really good artist and has the best style, sort of Haring-like with a comical twist that is uniquely Jack. So, he genuinely enjoyed the film which made me happy. We took our Banksy love to a new level when we visited London last April and saw one of his street rats. It was amazing.

The movie itself is amazing on many levels. The street art, the artists, the plot, Mr. Brainwash (the identity the main character, a photographer/videographer takes when he changes lanes and becomes a street artist himself…after filming street artists for about a year or more). He eventually created his own sticker, ala Shepherd Fairy and his OBEY Andre the Giant stickers, and plastered them everywhere.

This guy carried his video camera everywhere! That too reminded me of Jack, who literally has had his camera strapped to his hand on every major trip he’s taken, and vlogged the entire time.

(China town in London, video camera in hand.)

In the Banksy movie, the main guy Thierry, filmed his cousin (artist Space Invader) wherever they went, and people really thought this guy was more famous than he really was, due to the camera attention of course.

I had an idea.

me: Hey Jack, Why don’t you start filming me everywhere we go. You know, like Thierry in the movie did with his cousin. Then everyone will think I’m famous and maybe something will come of it!

Jack: Yeah, but your life’s not interesting.

Sigh…

I won’t spoil the movie, but GO RENT IT AMD WATCH IT. I have a good suspicion that Banksy played a huge trick on us, the viewers, because that’s just what he does.

I’m now on to my third movie in two days… 2nd one was “Where is Banksy?” And now I’m finishing “How to sell a Banksy.”

Oh and we drew a lot last night and a bit today. Since we’re just sitting here riding out the Nor’easter 🙂


Such bad jokes 




Jack: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
me: Uhhhh, 8?

Jack: No. 10 tickles.

He stares at me.

me: Huh?? Ooohhhhh. Heheh.

We’ve been reduced to that kind of humor after a 3-hour delay at FLL airport! 

Omg the lightning!

We are back on the plane now and are slowly creeping toward the runway. See you on the other side!


Florida Vacation Recap


Jack and I are in our 3rd Uber of the trip. We didn’t rent a car this time and probably saved $200 at least. Plus my sister gave us lots of rides so that helped 🙂

Today is our last day in Florida, we leave earlyyyyyyy tomorrow! I dreamt we overslept and missed our flight and I lost Jack. Not too cool.

We’re in the Uber heading to meet Jack’s cousins for an alligator air boat ride plus some dune buggy all-terrain-type tour. Should be fun!!! I’m wearing flip flops omg.

We had a great week here, the beach was fun and yesterday we snorkeled the whole morning. There were hundreds of fish all around us! On Thursday we visited the Miami Zoo, or Zoo Miami as it’s known. It’s really nice and we had fun with MY cousins and my sister riding the huge family bike through the zoo. It was hysterical.

We also spent a lot of time in the pool and walking along the beach. Very chill vacation. Today will probably be the busiest day. Oh, and I slept 10 hours and 10 minutes according to my Fitbit! Yikes! But sooooo needed.

Tomorrow we land and 15 minutes later meet to pickup Moca! Yippee! Back to the routine! (Update: flight delayed 3 .5 hours so far due to lightning)

And on Tuesday Jack gets his braces omg. He had spacers put in a week ago so no more gum or chewy candy or anything for maybe a year and a half! I keep forgetting. 

me: Jack do you want some gum?

Jack: (stares at me)

me: Well? Here… (I hand him sour patch gum)

Jack: Mom. I can’t have gum for 2 years.

me: Oh shoot sorry. Heh heh.

He shakes his head at me.

(Later)

me: Which kind of gum do you want? Fruity or mint?

Jack: (stares at me)

me: oops, sighhhhhh! Sorry.

Jack: Two years!

I think this will go on for 2 years. At least. :O

I looked at the weather for next week and it’s all thunderstorms here. Boo-ya Florida! We win! We got lucky this week. And I have some tan lines for a change. They won’t last but I’ll enjoy them while I have them 🙂 Jack is somewhat allergic to either the son block or the dive mask. Ugh poor kid. His face is all irritated. 😦

Hopefully Jack enjoyed his time down here with me and my cousins and his cousins and aunt and uncle. Maybe we will see them again soon! 

Hopefully you’re all enjoying your summer (if you live in the U.S.) or tell me what season it is wherever you’re living! 

Here are some pics from the week…



Can we please get through security without an incident?

super soaker

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I will have an answer to that question in about 3 hours. We’re leaving for Florida later today, and as Jack and I talked about packing, and the general logistics of the airport and our luggage, we paused to remember and laugh about all of the other times we’ve gone through security with slight “issues”. We tried to remember if we ever had a time that we went through security without a hitch. There haven’t been many times. Sadly.

me: I remember the time you threw up all over the security guard and the conveyor belt in Kansas City. Sigh… I had throw up in my shoes. You were 3 and I raced back to the bathroom with you to clean you up. It was hopeless.

Jack: And then I threw up the entire plane ride, right?

me: Every 15 minutes for a 3-hour flight. It was the worst. I also remember the time you tried to bring a switchblade comb on the plane and the guard gave us a hard time, remember?

Jack: It was a spinny thing that we got from Disney.

me: No, it was a pop up comb. I remember.

Jack: Mom, I wasn’t even old enough to have one of those. I just got that like 2 years ago.

me: That’s when it happened. Why are there so many issues with security?

Jack: I remember when I was flying with Dad and my sunblock exploded in my backpack. I cleaned it, but the xray machine could still see it. They had to search Dad. He wasn’t happy.

me: Hahahahaha. Remember that time we met the guy on the plane that let you use his iPad? It was when Angry Birds first came out. When was that?

Jack: 2010, no 2011.

me: Yeah and then he was trying to show off and rode on the conveyor belt and you tried to follow him.

Jack: He was doing handstands haha!

me: His mom said he was showing off for us. That was funny. But you’re not supposed to ride on the luggage conveyor belts! Geez..

Jack: I remember you packed me a bunch of apples when I was going to Hawaii with dad. You know you’re not supposed to bring fruit in or out of that state!

me: I didn’t know that. Did you eat them?

Jack: Yeah I had to eat them all before we landed and about a pound of cheese!

me: Well I didn’t know if they would have nut-free food on the plane Jack, I had to pack something…

Jack: Well that was too much fruit.

me: And there was the time that security didn’t like that you had a nerf gun. I totally remember the security guard checking it out. But geez, it’s plastic and orange! They finally let you go through.

Jack: I don’t remember that…

me: Let’s see if you can get to Florida tonight without an incident. Okay? No contraband in your carry on luggage.

Jack: I can’t promise anything.

Update… 7/5/17… we were going through security in HPN, and naturally the guard pulls Jack’s red backpack off the conveyor belt and holds it up. “Whose bag is this??”

me: (pointing at Jack) His. Sighhhh.

Nothing came of it but they did have a thorough search. Not sure what flagged it though, they weren’t talking!

I also remembered what we call the “applesauce incident”. One guard wouldn’t let us through security with two little containers of applesauce. They were 3 oz each! His supervisor yelled at him and. Are him give us the applesauce back. 20 minute delay that trip if I remember correctly. Ugh!!!

 Update a few weeks later… I just remembered that on the flight home MY suitcase caused an uproar in security at Ft. Lauderdale Int. Airport… I had packed a huge bag of shells and it looked like a big green blob on the scanner photo. Many different supervisors had to come inspect it and then my bag had to be dismantled and checked with that bomb litmus paper lol. Took FOReverrrrrr. Must run in the family! :O