Sh*t My 6-Year-Old Says (but he's 18 now)
I started this blog when Jack was only 5 years old! And, still, I can't make this sh*t up!
Jack and I are heading to Cape Cod to stay at the house we used to rent when he was little. We haven’t been there in quite a few years! So exciting!
Jack is currently driving and I’m blogging…
me: Is this car comfortable for you to drive?
(He’s a giant)
Jack: It’s ok.
me: What would you change if you could?
Jack: I’d make it a 6-cylinder Mercedes.
😑
As it turns out he dies still say sh*t even while away at college 😂
Jack and I were talking on the phone earlier. He was getting ready to start packing for his spring break rowing trip and was debating whether or not to get some homework done before break or after, and then was worried about an egg sandwich he took from the dining hall.
Me: Dis you start packing yet?
Jack: No, I have time. I’m wondering if I should go do my homework at the Q center now to get it over with.
Me: That sounds like a good idea so you won’t have to think about it over break.
Jack: I’m not thinking of it at all.
Me: Well if you have time to do it then pack.
Jack: I’m more worried about this egg sandwich.
Me: Uh, what?
Jack: I took an egg sandwich from the dining hall and it’s going to sit here for a week.
Me: So eat it.
Jack: It’s cold.
Me: So heat it up! 🤨
Jack: oh yeah I could eat it now.
Me: Or wrap it up and take it in the van as a snack later.
Jack: I just said I’m eating it now.
Me: Sigh. Ok. Give your dad a call too before you go.
Jack: I would but you’ve been talking forever.
Me: Oy! Ok byeeeeee.
Jack: Oh wait I have to tell you this funny story. This guy was using the bathroom at work and the lights went out so he took a spooky dooky. Hahaha!
Me: Wasn’t that what happened to you last summer.
Jack: No it was some guy on Twitter.
And there you have it, the last mom son convo before Jack’s first ever spring break trip.
Spooky dooky…. geez….
Jack is doing great in his second semester at UConn. He’s planning to spend spring break with the rowing team at camp in South Carolina. I wish I was going away on spring break!! It’s still icky and cold here but I heard it’s not exactly hot down in SC. But definitely warmer than CT that’s for sure.
I was trying to get the full scoop about the trip from Jack this week so I know what’s happening and when.
Me: Where’s the agenda? Like what’s the plan?
Jack: There’s this creepy presentation I can show you that has the info in it.
I start flipping through. It is weird looking but I keep going to see if they tell the kids what to pack and what to expect, etc. I get to a big checklist.
Jack: Woah, I didn’t even see that!
Me: Come on, did you not go through this? It has everything you need listed out here.
Jack: Well it kept getting stuck on one page so I gave up.
Me: Nice. Lucky for you I got this far into it. So what’s the driving situation? Does everyone take turns or what?
Jack: We’re driving down in vans and it’s about 12 hours to get there.
Me: Who’s driving?
Jack: The older guys. There’s a driving buddy that has to stay awake with them. Then they swap. There will be lots of breaks.
Me: I can’t believe you’re all leaving at 5pm on a Friday! Like wouldn’t it be better to leave in the morning, miss all the traffic and actually drive during daylight?
Jack: There’s these things on Friday called classes and exams, Mom.
Me: Oh yeah.
Jack: They told us we needed to bring a sleeping bag and mine’s at home and dad doesn’t want to drive it to me tomorrow.
Me: I guess you’ll have to bring the blankets from your bed then.
Jack: Nah, I rented a sleeping bag for $12 from the school.
Me: Okayyyy… maybe want to wash it?
Jack: No way I’m waiting for a sleeping bag to dry tonight Mom.
Me: Good point. Well, ok have a good night and don’t forget to call me before you leave tomorrow.
Jack: How can I? You call me like 3 times a day already.
Me: 😬😬😬
Jack and I returned from an RV trip this weekend. 8 days in a 20-foot camper van, with Jack and Moca the dog, made for an interesting experience! Part glamping, part camping, part roadtrip, we kind of had it all on this trip!
Jack: Except for fun.
me: What do you mean? The trip wasn’t fun? What would you rate the trip overall from 1-10?
Jack: 7? I mean 6.5?
me: Really? How would you rate the fun-ness.
Jack: 5? Maybe?
me: You didn’t have fun?
Jack: Well, I did, but it wasn’t like FUN fun, I mean a few things were fun like the boat tour (we toured the Thousand Islands area of NY), and…
me: And that’s it?
Jack: If you want to count you barreling up and down mountain roads at 70 miles per hour… that was fun.
me: Now you’re just kidding.
Jack: Eating was fun. No wait, staying in the hotel was fun!
(We needed to stay in a hotel so Jack could do his driver’s ed zoom calls, with uninterrupted wifi.)
me: Well, where would you like our next vacation to be?
Jack: In a hotel.
me: Sigh.
We toured the Finger Lakes region of NY, the Thousand Islands region of NY, Grand Isle/Burlington VT, Mt. Washington area of NH, Bar Harbor and Acadia ME, and then down to Salem MA before heading back to CT.
I stalked two of my favorite writer’s homes (Joseph Monninger and Stephen King) and can now cross those off my to-do list! We couldn’t climb Mt. Washington, so we’ll have to do that another time. We were also originally planning to go to Niagara Falls, but decided against it at the last minute. We probably drove an average of 3.5-4 hours per day to get from place to place, and stayed in campgrounds mostly, just for safety sake.
I used a website called RV Share and was able to rent this camper van from a private renter, sort of like Air Bnb but for RV’s. It was a great experience, but not one that I would need to do again most likely. Unless I owned my own camper or something, which is not in the plans. I would much rather roadtrip in a car and then stop at hotels along the route, OR straight up camp out in the wilderness with a tent and canoe or something like that. I think Jack feels the same way.
I think.
me: So, Jack, what was your favorite thing about the road trip? Aside from the boat tour?
Jack: Getting home.
And there you have it! 🙂
Wasn’t it just snowing out? Like, literally last month it snowed twice. And now it’s June 6th and look at how great everything is. Sooo sarcastic. The world is literally crazy right now. I’m keeping a positive attitude and doing my best work, and I really hope there will be change for the better this year on ALL fronts. The virus, the weather, politics, wildlife, equality, world peace. That’s not too much to ask for, right?
“I always drink to world peace.” Ok, that quote came from which movie? It is also the same movie that gave us the quote “Don’t drive angry”, and “Is it too early for flapjacks?” The best. And I digress. Leave your guess in the comments. 🙂
If you follow me on Instagram (@debinort) you’d see that I drove Jack to Brooklyn last Saturday to stay with his dad for a few weeks. He hadn’t seen him since February! Crazy! Things have just been so nuts with the Coronavirus and quarantining and New York being the epicenter of the virus, so it’s been many months since Jack has gotten to travel south. But, it was a nice ride, a sunny day, and we took Moca with us so she could see some different sights. With all the dog parks closed, all she sees is our neighborhood, the house and the back of my car where she rides. BOR-ing for an energetic pittie mix, to say the least.
me: Jack, please get some photos of us going over the Brooklyn Bridge, since this is my first time driving over it.
Jack: You’ve never driven over this bridge?
me: No, I really haven’t. I jogged over it I think once, but never drove myself over it. Get some video too!
Jack: Ok be quiet so I can film.
Suddenly I have a coughing fit and the car swerved a little out of my lane and made the BEEP BEEP BEEP sound that Subarus make when you cross a painted line in the road.
Jack: Sheesh, quiet!
me: Uh, it’s the car.
Jack: Uh, actually it’s your driving.
Ok so it is kind of my driving but still! Rude! I posted the bridge video on my Insta story but yeah that’s long gone since it took me a week to write this blog post. Getting back to work full time really takes away all the free time I had. Ya know? haha.
Next Sunday I’ll be heading back to Brooklyn to pick Jack up, because no way is he riding the train. And, actually I think it’s still only for essential workers, though that might have lightened up a bit. I still don’t feel comfortable letting him ride near other people. Maybe next year.
Sigh. What a year it’s been so far. I’m hoping things get better very soon.
But hey, on the bright side, June 6 is National Yo-Yo Day. So there’s always that.
Sigh.
Jack and I are on vacation in The San Diego area after attending his cousin’s wedding this past Sunday. (So much fun!!!). We’re acclimating to the scenery (rocky hills) and the climate (dry sunny heat) and the available activities (not much at our resort aside from swimming or hiking or shopping or … that’s about it. Oh, or eating.)
However we did take a few day trips to the San Diego Safari Park and to the Carlsbad Pier and to Oceanside to see the beach and watch the sunset. Very low key. Today we saw a movie, “Yesterday” which we really liked. And now, we are chilling in the room reading and blogging!
Our meals have been really nice here even though the resort restaurant looks like it’s trapped in time (a much older time) they must have a really good chef. We’ve eaten at least one meal a day here and they’ve all been excellent. Fish tacos and shrimp Caesar salad, omelettes and French toast, baked cod and cob salad, etc. all extremely yummy and fresh. Jack had an amazing looking burger for lunch today.
Normally Jack eats cereal almost every day and drinks milk with most meals. We haven’t even had milk on this trip. It’s been iced tea, lemonade and coffee along with orange juice for breakfast.
I wanted to see if Jack realized that he hadn’t had a glass of milk in about a week.
me: Hey Jack… (obligatory wait for him to remove headphones)
Jack: Huh?
me: Guess what you haven’t had for at least a week?
Jack: Fun?
😖
Sighhhhhh….This kid doesn’t miss a beat.
We DID have a lot of fun at the 400-foot high balloon ride over the safari park AND the 400-foot-high zip line over the endangered animal park. Simply frightening and breathtaking at the same time.
Anyway, back to reality tomorrow as we travel home. Happy summer!!!
Are there any other parents out there that suddenly aren’t allowed to take photos of their kids?
We watch them grow, we mark the milestones, we make literal marks on a wall as they get taller, and suddenly the “photo album” has a lot of blank pages in it.
Wait, when did my child grow a mustache? Oh it must have been between the ages of 14 and 15 where there is no photographic proof!
Right now I’m sitting on the train with Jack headed to NYC. This is the first time I’ve ridden with him this year. This year! I used to take him every other week. Moca and I would ride happily along and then either turn right around and come home, or take a walk around the city.
This year, however, Jack has insisted on riding the train alone. It saves me 5 hours of travel time for which I’m usually grateful, but I miss the rides with him. I miss taking Moca along and having her get so much attention for being such a good girl.
So, right now, Jack is sitting across from me, passed out asleep, mouth open catching flies, as they say, and boy would I like some photographic proof to show you all.
…
Ugh. I won’t share a photo .
…
But…Boy do I want to.
😆😆😆
me: Jack, here’s a few seats here. Look it has a lot of leg room.
Jack: No, lets go find an open 3-seater.
me: I hate sitting in those. Let’s go in this 6-seater.
Jack: Ugh then we’ll get jammed in when people sit next to us.
me: No one is going to get on after Stamford, we’re fine. Look how much room we have.
A few stops later…
I always try to suggest things for Jack to do when he goes to NYC. I really want him to learn and see and experience all that there is in the city. He prefers to stay in his room playing XBox. 😦
This was a conversation we had a few months ago but I never posted it…
me: What about a show?
Jack: Boring.
me: What about going to Central Park?
Jack: It’s freezing and it’s going to rain.
me: What about finding a street fair?
Jack: No.
me: Hold on I’ll look up some things to do. (I pull out my phone and start scrolling) What about one of the museums? There are lots of shows…
Jack: We always do that. We went to the Whitney and MoMA…
me: Oh hey there’s something at the Frick Museum. Actually it’s called the Frick Collection. Geez I had totally forgotten about the Frick.
Jack: Yeah. So did everybody else.
me: Sigh.
Jack was at his dad’s last weekend. He missed the major snow squall we had back here in CT. Too soon. TOO SOON!!!!!!
me: Jack did you get any snow in New York in Saturday? We had a snow squall!
Jack: What’s a squall?
me: Like a quick burst of snow flurries, sort of.
Jack: We didn’t have a squall but someone was throwing a washing machine off the roof and Dad had to call the police.
me: Um..,,
Jack and I are on the way to Florida! It only took 50 minutes to get to HPN and I got my lucky parking space right next to the 3rd floor entrance. Wooooo!
me: Remember last time I flew to Florida for work and had the two hour delay?
Jack: When was that?
me: Last month.
Jack: What did you do?
me: I sat on that bench right over there in the sun for two hours. Rather than waiting in the freezing cold airport!
Jack: Oh look the 3rd level parking is open.
(I drive up to my usual spot)
me: Oh look, my lucky spot is open!
Jack; Didn’t you just say your flight was delayed?
me: Yeah I guess this is a very unlucky spot.
Jack: Did you pack my goggles???!!!
me: No.
Jack; Aaarrrrrgghhh!!!!!
(It begins)
me: Let’s check the flight board, we’re early.
(Our flight is delayed 1.5 hours due to “weather”)
Jack: Sigh
me: Sigh
Sh*t My 6-Year-Old Says (but he's 18 now) 