I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

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2 School Stories

(Photo from a fishing trip we went in last weekend)

Jack always comes home with hysterical stories about things that happened in school. I always forget to write them down! Here are two that cracked me up…

Jack: (talking to his friend in the car) We actually did nothing science related, just watched “animals are jerks” videos. Then we did 5 minutes of photosynthesis and then watched a sea world video about a whale that ate a trainer. It was lit

Jack told me this story in the kitchen. The way he tells the story makes it even better. Maybe I’ll start videotaping them! 😉

Jack: So this was on the first day of school and we were all going into health class and the teacher was like “Welcome to health!” Then this kid tripped and face planted right into a chair. He had to go to the nurse, and then went home.

Ok it’s not funny that it happened but his delivery was on point!

🙂

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First day of 8th grade (and bonus flashback to 1980)

I remember my first day of 8th grade. Seriously I can remember back that far.

I had Exersole (“earth shoes”) shoes from Thom McAn (the “lower in the back” shoe). we had to go in the store, wait to be served, have our foot measured, and try on about 10 pairs of shoes and WALK in them around the store, and have our foot and toes prodded by strangers.

Jack ordered custom Vans high tops online. He picked the style and all the colors. We are still waiting for them to arrive, though the checkout message CLEARLY stated that they would arrive Thursday, today. When I checked the email, however, the wait time had magically changed to 2-3 weeks for custom orders. (you could probably hear the screams as I told Jack this sad sad news)

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I wore Gouchos, those above-the-knee shortie pants things. Though I went for a more summer look goucho, with a matching patterned top. I think I remember (gasp) pink. Omg just saying Gouchos hurts my memorabilia lobe. My mom made our clothes and used “patterns”. She was actually really good at it, but of course when you’re a thankless brat, what do you know? Wait, maybe the gouchos were 7th grade. I also remember discovering mini skirts about that time. I thought I was so cool.

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Jack has cool clothes from cool stores that me and his dad bought. I can almost sew a button on, and that’s about it folks.

In 8th grade I was worried about boys and grades, and had the god-forbid-I-have-to-get-my-feathered-hair-wet-in-swimming-class fears! We were forced to swim. I happily took the zero each time, though I was a great swimmer. From 5th grade til 7th, I would attend swim class with glee. And somewhere mid-7th grade, I was like WHAaaa— BOYS—? And my hair suddenly became WAY more important that a stupid swimming grade.

Not that I had “boyfriends” per se. There was the one boy in our neighborhood that we all had a crush on and I’m sure we all kissed him at one point or another. I remember (maybe 7th grade?) we were all in the neighbors pool and we would dunk underwater, have a quick peck kiss and then pop up like no one was the wiser. Except everyone in the pool knew what we everyone else was doing. It was like a water version of spin the bottle, without the bottle, and the spinning, and … with … water.

(for the record that is NOT me) Photo credit: somewhere on internet google search.

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Ok, this is a funny story. Though it might have taken place at the end of 7th grade. So, basically, same time frame. I was walking down the hall with Danny and Lisa. I’ll never forget. Danny had just broken up with someone, and Lisa, who was in the middle, turned to him and said:

“So, are you going to get another girlfriend?”

He said, “Well, I was thinking maybe I’d ask that one.”

That one? I looked around. Was he talking about me? They looked at me.

“Oh.” Lisa said.

I thought that was awesome. Though he wasn’t even on my radar until that very moment. We went rollerskating once and I remember the new song that just came out, “Another One Bite’s the Dust”, by Queen. I thought I was so cool with my rollerskates, my boyfriend (ok, friend that was a boy) and my hip knowledge of the latest songs.

I don’t even remember what happened to him or if we ever spoke again after my father (most likely) picked me up from the rink that night. (ok LATE afternoon). He probably scared poor Danny away. Maybe he asked Lisa out! Hmmmm….

Anyway…

Everything was SO different “back then”, am I right?

My mom certainly didn’t walk me to the bus stop or give me a ride, or even notice I was gone… Well, I’m sure we said goodbye, but with a house full of other kids running around, she was probably glad to see me go each morning. Of course, that would be after me and my sister fought over the ONE tiny bathroom because “we have to do our haiiirrrrrrrrr!!” We both have massive amounts of hair.

(not us, but darn close)

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Not sure where all that hair came from. Our electric bill must have been staggering. Each morning was a struggle for my mom to get everyone ready and fed and out the door. (Those Frosted Flakes didn’t necessarily fill you up until lunch either! Just saying!)

This sounds like the story “I walked 2 miles to school each day, uphill both ways”, but I did actually walk to school from 7th to 9th grade. It was 1.5 miles from my house. Maybe a tad less. Just under the distance for which you could safely claim a warm bus ride. Hellooooo, winters in Massachusetts anyone? Deadly frostbite? Driving stinging sleet? Aquanet hairspray meets mother nature??

I remember walking with my friend, who went to Catholic school, each morning. We would head up the street to her bus stop, and then I would continue on ANOTHER MILE to school. The snow would have probably piled up overnight. The roads were deadly slush/ice combinations, and school would NOT EVER be cancelled. I remember this because my friend got to wear the cute Catholic school plaid skirt, and she paired it with these babies:

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The funny part was, as she walked, the front bottoms of the clog would start to collect snow and pretty soon she was walking on ever-growing snowballs on the bottoms of her feet. If the snow also collected on the heel, she was, in effect, walking on the first pair of stacked-heel clogs! Who knew!

I’ve forgotten why I started writing earlier, but I’m having fun going down memory lane. Don’t get me started on Dr. Scholl’s and other memorabilia! (I bought a blue pair and have them still in a box. Though I wanted red. They are not the same real wood that I remember. I also don’t think they are that comfy anymore.) But I lived in my original wooden pair when I was 12-13 years old! I would carry them in my hands because I was oh-so-cool as we walked to the store barefoot. Why dirty feet filled with glass was considered cool, I’ll never know. But I thought I was the shizzat.

Oh yes, let me swing back to the title of this blog post and remind myself of why we are all here. The first day of 8th grade. It’s JACK’S first day of 8th grade! Wow! How about take the focus off of me for like 5 minutes. 🙂

I was actually just starting this blog post, and looked up to see that it was almost time for the bus to arrive, so I ran down the driveway to meet it (and hopefully sneak a photo of Jack coming off the bus). The bus was late, probably because all the mom’s are taking the first-day-of-school photos. So I had time to kill. I checked my Instagram feed. Then I checked my blog stats. (Really, thanks guys for reading!) I had a lovely comment from a follower who just had a baby girl in March. So, she’s like JUST coming out of the WTF stage, and into the I’m-tired-AF stage, and sort of getting her mind/body/spirit back enough to shower and look presentable. I hope! She sounded great in the comment she left me, and said she had followed this blog for quite a long time and has see Jack pretty much grow up “digitally” of course. I’m always flattered that there are real people out there reading my posts, and not just “Like Back” people. It’s nice to know that we may have entertained or helped people with our stories. MY stories. Jack insists I only tell lies now. Sigh.

Back to 8th grade. 2017.

me: Ok, ready to head down to the bus? All your stuff packed? (He had an 18lb backpack, a saxophone, a gym bag and a lunch bag. It was ridiculous.)

I was all set to take the getting-on-the-bus photo, when we received a text from Jack’s friend’s older sister. She offered to give Jack a ride.

Jack: Tell her yes!

me: Okayyyyy (sort of bummed)

And there he went off in someone’s car. I took some nerdy photos that he will never give me permission to post. (hold on, I’m actually going to ask right now)

Yeah, so, could you hear the screaming? Sheesh. Can’t even post a photo anymore.

So anywayyy… I had a fun day off and did some fun beachy, doggie-walkie things and then waited for Jack to step OFF the bus at 3pm.

me: Want me to carry that?

Jack: Nope.

me: Ok.

We walked up the driveway.

Jack: So, my teachers are pretty nice.

me: That’s good. Even Mr. A?

Jack: Yeah, he’s not bad.

So, that was the wrap-up of the first day of school in the 8th grade. And, the nutritious and well-rounded lunch was eaten and enjoyed… (I remember I used to buy those 3-packs of Choco Chip cookies EVERY day from 8th to 12th grade, seriously, that was my lunch. I remember these twins, they used to bring chocolate milk powder in these little baggies and dump it into their milk. I was jealous I think. And I liked the way they chewed their food. It was very glamorous. I still mimic it to this day.)

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The saxophone stayed at school, probably til the end of the school year, so Jack doesn’t have to carry it back and forth… He doesn’t have homework. Just a few chores (put the silverware away PLEASE, take Moca for a walk PLEASE…) and there you have it!

Share some memories of 8th grade in the comments. I would love to hear them!

Good luck class of 2022!


Pre-teen depression (me not him)

I’ve learned that being a parent means there is always something to feel guilty about, always something to feel sad about, and always some sort of feeling of loss after every milestone has been met and your child charges headfirst into the next stage of his or her life.

And of course there are many happy times and good times and funny times, just look at the last seven years of my blog, hello! 🙂 But this is a new phase for me, one that my friends have told me they are going through or have recently gone through. It’s kind of pre-empty-nest-syndrome because your child still very much needs you in almost every way. Except, they don’t anymore.

I watched my son grow and change from a chubby little boy who was curious about everything, into a toddler that could never be told “no” when he wanted to do something, and then he grew into the little boy that had to master everything himself with as little coaching as possible (insert tantrum here if you tried to show him how to ride his bike for the first time without training wheels, for example); and now he’s this tall, handsome, amazing, mature and talented young man who I think takes his own talents for granted. He really is gifted in certain things that have just shown themselves in the last couple of years, like his cartooning, his video making skills, his wit and use of language, (though I wish he would use those powers for good instead of evil LOL), and and his ability to make people feel comfortable around him no matter what their age, or their situation. He is just generally easy to be around and very good company… especially for me and our animals 🙂

So why is it, as parents, we are so excited to get to the next phase of our child’s life, and then when we reach it, we struggle desperately to keep them there or to turn back the clock to where they just came from. I think that’s why people have two and three kids, they just want to relive those special times because once they’re gone, they are gone forever.

I didn’t have the ability to give Jack a sibling, though I really wanted to, so I have to enjoy this ride fully, and that may be why I’ve documented so much of his life on this blog, I know that it’s so special and so precious to me that I don’t want to forget a single minute.

Then and now:

Jack at 5 years old: Mommy, guess what? I invented a dump truck that pushes the sand in your sandbox and turns it into…

me: Jack, honey, hold on one sec.  Mommy’s on the phone.

Jack (not listening): And it turns the sand into magic sand so if you ever run out of sand this will fill it back up and it will be all clean like the beach sand, and not dirty like the sand in the woods that gets you all muddy because…

me: Jack hang on one sec… (I make an excuse and hang up the phone)

Jack: And its magic sand that I don’t have to worry about getting dirty and it will never ever run out! You just have to use this magic dump truck right here and it will push the magic into it and then see? You don’t have to ever worry about it again!

me: Take a breath Jack. Try to break it into breathable chunks of story. You’ll pass out if you talk that fast.

——-

Jack at 12: What.

me: Um, just wanted to call and say good morning. How’s your day?

Jack: Good. 

me: What’d you do with dad?

Jack: Stuff. Can I go?

me: Jack you need to talk longer than 30 seconds and say more than 2 words. Geez.


Hashtag Sneaky Snorkel

Jack: Mom do we have any straws?

me: I think so, why?

Jack: The bendy kind?

me: I don’t think so…

Jack: That makes it harder.

me: What’s in that head of yours?

Jack: Can I take some to camp?

me: You’re not answering the question…

Jack: I want to give some to my friends so we can use them in the pool. Like a sneaky snorkel!

me: I don’t think camp allows things in the pool, so you’d have to really be sneaky.

Jack; You’d let me??

me: I guess… but you know the straw hole is very small and you won’t get enough oxygen and…you know…snorkels are much bigger.

Jack: That’s your mom way to try and convince me not to do something by making me think it’s my idea.

Of course I then had to look up snorkeling with a straw and found this article, and then came across THIS article about using a long hose connected to the surface air, rather than a tank, for short dives. Lol. 

If you’re short on time, the answers to both questions is NO!


Circle of life

Jack: One of my friends found a fish in the lake at camp and then he fed that fish to a bigger fish. The counselor said to stop doing that so I yelled “We’re just accelerating the circle of life! What’s wrong with that?!!”

me: Sigh.


The biggest complaint about the Cars 3 Movie!

It ended too soon! 🙂 

Jack and I went to see the movie last night, and we really liked it. It might be in a close tie with the first movie as far as storyline and characters and emotions, etc.  The second movie was OK, but I really liked the first and the third.

I totally didn’t stay until after the credits, so we missed the little Mater movie at the end.

OK, enough about that. 🙂 

Today was the first official day of camp. Jack has been outside all day, and I’m waiting to pick him up. I wonder if he will be sunburned, or covered in mosquito bites, or none of the above. 🙂

Hopefully there is nothing to report from the camp office, as they have had to do in past years ha ha.

Here are the first words out of Jack’s mouth after he got into the car.

(I predict he will have some good news, maybe about zip lining in, or the fact that he does not want to go swimming anymore because the pool is too cold. Let’s see what he says.)

Jack: I’m starving. I need food!

Well was I close? Lol… he must have worked up a good appetite being outside all day!

And in other random news…

Here’s a photo of Moca’s last trip to NYC …we are in Bryant Park…

She loves to ride the train when I take jack to NYC. Everyone loved her! 🙂


To homework or not to homework, that is the question


(My little delinquent adding to the art space in our town)

There is only one week left of school. The last two days are half days, so they really aren’t of any educational value. They are more suited to messing up my work schedule and messing with a full week of camp. Grrrr! Typical in our town 🙂

The other night I asked Jack if he had any homework. He said no. Now let me point out, he absolutely knows that studying for a test is considered homework. So if he has an upcoming test, then the nights before the test should be considered study/homework. Right? Ugh.

That is very weak foreshadowing LOL. 

However, Jack did say that he did not have homework. So we did lots of other things, like watch TV, go for a walk with the dog, hang around outside, etc.

In the morning, we had this discussion.

Jack: oh no, I’m so worried about my two tests today. I have Spanish and science tests and I hope I do OK!

Me: what? You didn’t tell me you had tests today! Why didn’t you study last night? I would’ve helped you.

Jack: because you made me watch TV and go for a walk. I didn’t have any time!

Me: wait a minute, I asked you if you had any homework and you said no. Why didn’t you say something then?

Jack: I didn’t have any homework. Studying is not homework because it’s not mandatory.

Me: (really) But you know if you have a test, I can help you study and then you won’t have to worry so much. Why didn’t you point that out to me last night?

Jack: because I didn’t worry about it last night. We studied all week for both tests. 

Me: well, put your iPod away right now and study with breakfast. At least you’ll have some studying under your belt before you go to school.

Jack: no, I’m fine. I know they will be easy tests because we studied all week. So I don’t have to study right now.

Me: then what was all the fuss just now about not studying? If you think you’re fine, then why all the drama? Really. 

Jack: don’t you know, that’s just my way of worrying a little bit before a test. (Big smile)

Me: sigh.

At least he knows himself! And how is it that I hadn’t figured this out yet??