I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

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Hashtag Sneaky Snorkel

Jack: Mom do we have any straws?

me: I think so, why?

Jack: The bendy kind?

me: I don’t think so…

Jack: That makes it harder.

me: What’s in that head of yours?

Jack: Can I take some to camp?

me: You’re not answering the question…

Jack: I want to give some to my friends so we can use them in the pool. Like a sneaky snorkel!

me: I don’t think camp allows things in the pool, so you’d have to really be sneaky.

Jack; You’d let me??

me: I guess… but you know the straw hole is very small and you won’t get enough oxygen and…you know…snorkels are much bigger.

Jack: That’s your mom way to try and convince me not to do something by making me think it’s my idea.

Of course I then had to look up snorkeling with a straw and found this article, and then came across THIS article about using a long hose connected to the surface air, rather than a tank, for short dives. Lol. 

If you’re short on time, the answers to both questions is NO!


Circle of life

Jack: One of my friends found a fish in the lake at camp and then he fed that fish to a bigger fish. The counselor said to stop doing that so I yelled “We’re just accelerating the circle of life! What’s wrong with that?!!”

me: Sigh.


The biggest complaint about the Cars 3 Movie!

It ended too soon! 🙂 

Jack and I went to see the movie last night, and we really liked it. It might be in a close tie with the first movie as far as storyline and characters and emotions, etc.  The second movie was OK, but I really liked the first and the third.

I totally didn’t stay until after the credits, so we missed the little Mater movie at the end.

OK, enough about that. 🙂 

Today was the first official day of camp. Jack has been outside all day, and I’m waiting to pick him up. I wonder if he will be sunburned, or covered in mosquito bites, or none of the above. 🙂

Hopefully there is nothing to report from the camp office, as they have had to do in past years ha ha.

Here are the first words out of Jack’s mouth after he got into the car.

(I predict he will have some good news, maybe about zip lining in, or the fact that he does not want to go swimming anymore because the pool is too cold. Let’s see what he says.)

Jack: I’m starving. I need food!

Well was I close? Lol… he must have worked up a good appetite being outside all day!

And in other random news…

Here’s a photo of Moca’s last trip to NYC …we are in Bryant Park…

She loves to ride the train when I take jack to NYC. Everyone loved her! 🙂


To homework or not to homework, that is the question


(My little delinquent adding to the art space in our town)

There is only one week left of school. The last two days are half days, so they really aren’t of any educational value. They are more suited to messing up my work schedule and messing with a full week of camp. Grrrr! Typical in our town 🙂

The other night I asked Jack if he had any homework. He said no. Now let me point out, he absolutely knows that studying for a test is considered homework. So if he has an upcoming test, then the nights before the test should be considered study/homework. Right? Ugh.

That is very weak foreshadowing LOL. 

However, Jack did say that he did not have homework. So we did lots of other things, like watch TV, go for a walk with the dog, hang around outside, etc.

In the morning, we had this discussion.

Jack: oh no, I’m so worried about my two tests today. I have Spanish and science tests and I hope I do OK!

Me: what? You didn’t tell me you had tests today! Why didn’t you study last night? I would’ve helped you.

Jack: because you made me watch TV and go for a walk. I didn’t have any time!

Me: wait a minute, I asked you if you had any homework and you said no. Why didn’t you say something then?

Jack: I didn’t have any homework. Studying is not homework because it’s not mandatory.

Me: (really) But you know if you have a test, I can help you study and then you won’t have to worry so much. Why didn’t you point that out to me last night?

Jack: because I didn’t worry about it last night. We studied all week for both tests. 

Me: well, put your iPod away right now and study with breakfast. At least you’ll have some studying under your belt before you go to school.

Jack: no, I’m fine. I know they will be easy tests because we studied all week. So I don’t have to study right now.

Me: then what was all the fuss just now about not studying? If you think you’re fine, then why all the drama? Really. 

Jack: don’t you know, that’s just my way of worrying a little bit before a test. (Big smile)

Me: sigh.

At least he knows himself! And how is it that I hadn’t figured this out yet??


Stories that start with…

Now ask yourself, why should a mom ever have to hear any of this?

Ever?

Jack has literally started conversations with these openers…

Sigh.

  • Remember Evan that I was in the bus crash with?
  • Oh, that was when the tarantula disappeared…
  • Owwww, i think I just broke it again! 
  • I knew that was a bomb squad van…they’re black

I’m sure there are more that I’ve blocked out! 😫
  


Can you use these words in a sentence?


Our language is always evolving. With slang and digital technology, texting shortcuts and memes, lyrics to songs and ethnic flavor…new words and phrases are expected, welcomed, tested and enjoyed. Totes!

As always, and especially now that he’s in 7th grade and has always been pretty well spoken for a kid, Jack has taken it upon himself to make sure I hear any new words over and over and over and…overrrrrr…

Until I’m triggered.

Jack: That’s so dank!

me: Is that bad?

Jack: Don’t get all triggered.

me: But is it bad? It sounds bad but also good.

Jack: It’s lit.

me: So that’s bad. (I know it’s good)

Jack: Sigh.

I’m sure you’ve heard of fidget spinners, and fidget cubes right? How many do you own? How many of them light up? OMG.

Jack had to order some from Canada, and then he needed a deluxe one and then he needed the cube. Keyword, need. He doesn’t need these. Maybe some kids need them, Jack doesn’t. They’re supposed to keep you focused but instead they keep Jack unfocused and worrying about his fidget spinner. I think teachers are now starting to take them away in school.

Another fad and I’m sure it will be gone by the start of school next year. Pokémon Go anyone?

Jack slept at his friends house last night and had to come home to pick up his stuff. I was calling up to him to make sure he had everything and instead of answering me he screamed out at the top of his lungs. When I asked what was wrong he said I sounded like a triggered feminist. Sigh.

He’s such a scrub sometimes.

Happy Memorial Day! 

Jack was supposed to March with the school band. He had a concert in Tuesday and has been practicing like crazy. Parade is canceled again for year number 2 in a row 😦


Too many pens


Jack absolutely loves stationery and pens. It’s a gift he gets from his dad, and a little bit from me. We love notebooks and ink and pencils and paper and journals and writing and drawing and collecting and making piles and using half of everything and then buying more more more.

Does that mean we are creative? Or does it mean we like to hoard? Or a little of both?

Yes.

Haha.

When we go to the store and Jack says he needs to buy more pens, I think of the bins and bins of pens pencils Kranz erasers writing things markers sharpies colored pencils etc. etc. and I cringe. Can’t he just go shopping in our cabinet and find what he’s looking for?

Jack: No mom! Those pens are old, or the ink is dry, or they don’t write very well, and that’s why they’re in the bin. I need new ones.

me: but we have 4000 pens Jack.

Jack: That’s not my problem. Donate them.

So what does he do? He convinces me to buy some more pens when we are at Staples and he finds them on sale… 60 pend for six dollars.

Jack: that’s only $.10 each mom!

me: Yes I did the math. Sighhh. 

When we get home, we have the next dilemma. Where do we keep all the pens? Jack’s answer… Right on top of his desk where he keeps everything else. I prefer to have them put away and then leave a few out and accessible. And, he can put a few in his pencil case for school. There are just so many damn pens laying around.

Of course, Jack resorts to his old tactic.

Jack: let’s just leave them on my desk and I’ll know right where they are.

Me: actually, let’s put a few in your cup on your desk and then you’ll remember exactly where they are.

Jack: I’m going to forget that they’re there! There are so many other pens in that cup!

Me: I’m telling you to remember right now, here test yourself. Jack, where are your pens?

Jack: I don’t know. 

Pain in my butt.