Conversations, Emotions, Potty Humor, Uncategorized

Affirmations vs. Reality

I drove Jack to school as I do every day, and we rode in silence for awhile. I asked if he wanted to listen to my audio book in the car “Money and the Law of Attraction”. I’m almost done with it. He politely declined. So I put it on anyway. 🙂

Esther Hicks was talking about illness, and how you can think yourself healthy with positive vibes, etc.

me: Hey, you should try positive thinking today and say some affirmations to yourself to kick off the day.

Jack: (grunts)

me: Like try this: “I can do anything I want today and it’s going to be a great day.”

Jack: I just detonated your car.

me: What? (Pause) Oh geez Jack come on!

I hastily rolled down all the windows.

Jack: Ha!

And there you have it. Affirmations vs. reality with a 14-year-old. Kinda gross eh?

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Conversations, Digital Technology, School, Uncategorized

Help me but don’t help me

How many of you have gone through this exact scenario? This is a typical Jack-ism. Help me but what ever you do don’t help me! Why aren’t you helping me!? Stop helping me! Fine…don’t help me!

Lord give me strength.

Jack: I can’t find my mouse.

me: Mhmmm. Did you look for it?

Jack: I’m trying but you’re not helping!

me: I’m trying to finish the last 30 minutes of this movie, Jack.

Jack: Help meeeee! (much stomping and opening and closing of things)

me: Did you think of where you last used it?

Jack: Dad’s.

me: Well then call your Dad?

Jack: It’s not there!

me: Did you look in the kitchen?

Jack: It’s not there.

me: How about in my room? You used it there before doing homework.

Jack; I already looked, it’s not there! You’re not helping!

me: I’m trying to narrow down where—

Jack: AAaarrrgh! I can’t do my homework without my mouse!

me: Can I go look in your room? You might have just overlooked it?

Jack: No.

me: Why not? I’m thinking you might have–

Jack: I said I already looked there!

me: No you didn’t, I can just—

Jack: No! Help me!

me: I can’t help if you’re not allowing me to help.

Jack: I need to order a new mouse on Amazon right now.

me: Um, no, and you need to be more responsible with your current mouse. It didn’t just walk away. I bet it’s in your room in a bin or something.

Jack: It didn’t just randomly fall into a bin!

me: Accidentally, Jack. There’s a lot of stuff on your desk. Are you sure you don’t want me to look there?

Jack: Not happening.

me: Well then we are out of options. Why do you need the mouse anyway?

Jack; The track pad is broken.

me: Use my laptop.

Jack: I don’t WANT to use a track pad.

me: Use my desktop computer.

Jack: That’s old and slow.

me: Well what do you propose?

Jack: That you help me!!!

me: Go look in your room, I’m finishing this movie now.

Jack: (much stomping again). Yeeeeeeee!

me: What?

Jack: It was under my bed. Like how did it get there? It was just sitting there.

me: Oy.

loser

Anyhoo, this is just a “sort of” typical part of the teen brain developing. It forgets things. The forgetful part I can forgive. The rest is all Jack :O. I’ll always try to help him, but ultimately he’s responsible for his own stuff. Jack: Where’s my phone charger Mom? me: I have no idea, where did you leave it last? Jack: Did you see my Fitbit charger? (Always with the chargers!) me: Nope, I have no idea, check your suitcase, or call your dad? Jack: Hey, my mini speaker is not on my desk! me: And, I have no clue where that is either. Check the shower.

I always strongly suggest that Jack put his things in exactly the same place each night, or morning, so he can find them. He has an organizer on his desk to hold all the chargers, cables, the MOUSE, and the devices that need to be plugged in. I think it’s filled with candy wrappers.

I only have one kid, but I’m preparing this kid for life in the real world. He only has about 3 more years until he’s potentially (hopefully?) off on his own! Jack has to do his own laundry. We’re on maybe year two or three of that by now, at least. Jack: MOMMMM, I don’t have any SHORTTTTSSSS! me: Did you do your laundry? Jack: Aarrrgghhhhh!

Jack has to also do the following, weekly: All of his laundry (wash, dry, fold, put away, hang, etc), put away the dishes from the dishwasher (it used to be just the silverware, but I hate putting dishes away so now it’s his job), clean his room and make his bed, clean his bathroom, including the Mt. Everest pile of clothes that hide behind the door, walk Moca EVERY DAY after school, mow the lawn, help me with other yard work (currently cleaning out the mulch beds and laying in the new mulch, which he somehow actually enjoys!), let’s see. what else… does that sound like a lot? Oh yeah, sweep out the garage, vacuum the basement (which is something I’m adding to his list this week actually… watch out Jack… all of your black sock fuzz has really been collecting on the rug down there…) Jack has to help me with the cats nails and teeth (he’s the holder of the beasts, though they like getting their nails clipped now because they get Treeeaattttssss! They are such little piggies.) Moca I can handle on my own now (except when I bludgeon her poor back toenail by accident) 😦 Sorry Moca.

Moca just raised her head from a deep sleep to look at me after I wrote that. Weird!

As you can see, there are plenty of chores for Jack. I’m also working on his cooking skills, but we have to step up that game. Sometimes though, with all that, plus going to the gym, and oh yeah… HOMEWORK… Jack has a kinda full schedule. Like right now, he’s currently sleeping. 🙂

This little article popped up for me a few minutes ago when I was looking at teen brain articles, and it reinforces what I was writing above. Take a read! Then go put your feet up and have your teenager make you a snack.

 

Conversations, Subaru Confessions, Uncategorized

Subaru Confession: Maturity??

Jack and I were in the car on the way to school this morning. He was giving me an update on one of his classes and why his seat was moved. (Not his fault).

me: Well, I bet you can concentrate better now, at the very least.

Jack: Yep. There’s a time for work and a time for play.

me: (!) What have you done with Jack…? That sounds… mature!

(I swear he winked and pointed a finger at me)

Totally not what I expected him to say. Right??

As we drove along we talked about a few other things… and about a friend of his that I mistakenly thought did something that someone else did.

me: Well, I’m glad that wasn’t him because I would have been really disappointed.

Jack: And now you finally sound like a typical parent.

me: Sheesh.

Conversations, Music, Uncategorized

Sing it to the World

fm

Today I had a very long but fun day with Jack and his girlfriend Alexa. Yes Jack has a GF!! OMG!! They’ve been “exclusive” since the summer of 2017. Oh Em Gee. And yes, they are adorable etc etc etc. We started our day at 7:15am and ended it at 9:15pm! It’s easy to fill a day with outlet shopping, seafood lunch, beach combing, and a carnival. Whew.

On the car ride up to the beach we were listening to Queen and confirming that Freddy Mercury indeed had a British accent but sang pretty flawlessly without a trace of that accent.

Also, if you haven’t seen Bohemian Rhapsody, what the hell are you waiting for? I loved it and the actors that played Freddy Mercury and Brian May. They were really on point. I really hope Rami Malek gets an Oscar for this performance.

Anyhoo…back to the car ride…

Alexa: How come these singers all do not have an accent when they sing?

me: Yeah, isn’t that funny? Any person that speaks English with an accent can generally sing without an accent. I’ve read about that and hear it with certain bands. Even German bands sing in English with almost NO accent.

Alexa: That’s kind of weird.

me: Also, that’s how some actors from other countries can speak with a perfect American accent. They treat it sort of like singing and they open their mouths and throats to exaggerate the sound and it helps them to lose the accent.

Jack: Yeah but the only thing they aren’t opening is their arteries from eating all the greasy American food.

me: Always with the one liners, eh?

 

Conversations, Food, Uncategorized

Flashback to 2011

pineapple-man

This photo will make sense once you click the link below. 😉

 

I’m tired and the blog post I want to write will take too long. I’m feeling very lazy today but still want to send out something funny. 🙂

I read some posts from back in the day and this one cracked me up. It’s funny how much has changed in the last 8 years (our household, Jack growing up, Stripey), and how much has stayed the same (the backtalk, and the backtalk).

I hope you like this flashback to 2011. Jack was a cutie and very advanced for his six years. Don’tcha think?

Conversations, Uncategorized

Get to the point

Whenever we’re driving, Jack says that I can have an entire conversation by myself, and he never has to comment. I ask questions and then answer them myself. Then go on a rant about how things used to be when I was young (or something). I can talk. A lot.

Sometimes Jack has a lot to say. Sometimes not so much.

 

Jack: Oh look, the barber shop closed.

me: Awwww. What did the sign say?

Jack: Closed.

me: Oh.

 

 

Conversations, Uncategorized

Best Day Ever

Jack: I can’t believe there are parents that give their kids phones when they’re like 5 years old. They are definitely gonna be addicted to that.

me: How old were you when I got you a phone?

Jack: That was last year. I was 13.

me: Oh yeah. Hmmm.

Jack: That’s crazy to have a phone before that.

me: I didn’t let you watch TV until you were 3.

Jack: Yeah, I could do other things like read and draw.

me: You did both, very well. So… I didn’t do too bad with you then?

Jack: No, not at all.

me: 🙂