I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “10-year old

1st Snow Day of 2016!


It’s finally snowing. For real. We are all still not sure how much snow we’re getting, because the stories vary from a few inches to over a foot. Luckily it’s Saturday and we really don’t need to go anywhere. And luckily Jack’s big birthday bash is scheduled for next weekend. Haha to you weather! You didn’t get me this time!

Jack was born during a blizzard and historically, well for the last 10 years anyway, the weather has been SHiT-Tay on the weekend closest to his birthday. We’ve had cars stuck in the driveway, power outages, frigid temps, and who wants to travel to a party during that weather! Ugh.

Today was kinda funny because we went to our Taekwondo studio for an hour of practice, then Jack and I stopped at Goodwill for his weekly search for nerf guns at rock bottom prices (he got two huge ones for $9) and then we headed home for some Skate 3 and Halo 3. We tried to cram stuff in and get home before we got stuck at the bottom of the driveway. That sucks! The wind has been howling and the windchill is bringing the temps down into single digits. Hating the cold.

We got a few chores done and then we heard a knock at the door. Wha????

Jack: It’s Logan! He wants to go sledding! Can we get my stuff?

me: You mean can I get your stuff? (He was already darting around looking for his clothes)

Jack: Do you think there’s enough snow to sled? Is it the packabke kind? How many inches did we get anyway?!!! Awww I wish I still had my old snow pants with the suspenders! (He was upset when I pulled out his regular ski pants with the camo print)

me: You outgrew those… There’s not too much snow yet.., it’s all blowing around…

Jack: Whatever, there’s enough MOM. So THAT’s where my scarf went! (He ripped it out of my hand after I pulled it out of the closet) Let’s go!

me: Ok ok easy with the grabby hands…hold on let me put it on you.

Jack: It doesn’t go around my beck like THAT! Here let me show you how I wrap it. (he demonstrates his very NYC way of wrapping his scarf).  Wait! Why do I even NEED a scarf?? He rips it off and tosses it.

me: It’s freezing out, so you can pull it up over your face. (I wrap the scarf again, and he redoes it AGAIN)

Jack: Oh… I guess that’s ok…So where are my gloves??? Hey don’t put my hood up over my hat!!

me: Jack it’s still snowing out so you’ll get all wet if you don’t put your hood up. Your gloves are probably in the car.

Jack: Ok ok put it up then! (I see he’s losing patience, and he pulls his hood up before I can do it).

me: Hold on, we have to tuck your pants into your socks.

Jack: ARGHHH! Fiiiinnneee! Ok ok let me go.

me: You need your boots. I got you new ones luckily. These are military grade.

Jack: They are NOT military grade! Are they??? Well you tie them. Make sure nothing is inside! Wait I can feel something, it’s the tag take it out!!!

me: OMG Jack pretend you’re going out to survive in the wilderness, you’ll be nice and warm so don’t worry about a little tag. That’s a bit too much high maintenance. Sheesh.

Jack: I’m not high maintenance!

me: Here are your gloves. Let me zip you up, and the scarf goes in the inside of your jacket. (I tuck it all in).  Ok, I think you’re all set. Here’s some Chapstick. Now give me a kiss…

I inadvertently kiss his glasses and smudge them, OMG, 10 minutes of wiping and near hysterics from Jack because I’m “wasting” his time, and he’s finally ready to go.

me: Have fun!

Jack: Geez I woulda been outside a LOT sooner if you actually helped me get my stuff on!!

me: Grrrrrrr!!

A minute later I was settled on the couch with my tea, a show and a pile of laundry to fold peacefully. I could hear ranting coming from the garage.

Jack: MOOOOOOOMMMMMM! Where’s my snowball maker!!!!????

I ignored him. But he stomped back upstairs into the laundry room and threw open the door.

Jack: Where! Is! My! Snowball maker?!

me: No idea. Guess you’ll have to use your hands?

Jack: Oh what a concept. (Slam)

I had to laugh at that one…

Do mom’s really have to wonder why we’re tired all the time??


6th Grade Stressed 

  
me: Guess what?

Jack: What?

me: I love you. (I’ve been saying this since he was about 3 haha.)

Jack : I KNOW Mom, you always say that.

me: Ok I was actually gonna say… We have FREE chair massages at work and unsigned up! I’m so excited! 

Jack: Like, a professional massage??

me: Yeah, sooooo relaxing! Ahhhh…

Jack: Awwww that’s no fair! We need massages in 6th grade. Our tiny minds work way too hard. They should totally do that.

me: You have that much stress?? How?

Jack: Mom, we change classes 7 times a day! We have HOMEWORK! We have to take TESTS!! There’s only 4 minutes between classes!! That’s stressful!!!

me: Gotcha. So, tiny minds huh? Haha.

Jack: Yeah they’re tiny and stressed. Sighhhh….

(The photo is Jack last night right before the winter concert at school. He’s in year 3 of alto sax and still likes it!)


Things we think kids know but they really don’t…

Like the time Jack asked if kids could really go into a store and buy something without a grown up. Ha!

I asked Jack to close up a loaf of bread (with the twisty tie) and when I went to open the bread the next day I found he had tied it like you would tie your shoelaces, minus the bow. I guess I never showed him how to do that twisty trick, eh? It seems so basic. You just twist!

Then there was the time I realized that I had never taught Jack how to load the dishwasher…

me: Jack, I thought I asked you to put your bowl in the dishwasher.

Jack: I did.

me: Where is it??

Jack: Under that other bowl.

me: ?? (They were stacked on top of each other)

I guess we take these things for granted and maybe never get around to teaching some basics that we’ve known for decades.

I watched Jack undress, trying to take his pants off by pulling the waist down both legs as far as he could, then pulling as hard as he could, getting both feet caught in the material; essentially stuck.

me: Jack, pull one leg at a time, from the bottom, and then you  won’t get stuck AND the pants won’t be inside out!

Jack: No one cares Mom. (More grunting)

me: Sigh.

And then, this afternoon, I hear a part of a conversation coming from the living room. There’s a brain in there somewhere! But it learns what it wants!!!

Jack: (helping his friend set up their wii remotes) Okay, first we have to start this other game and pause it to force us to have to choose another remote and then we’ll get the option to sync them both. Then you click here like this. Not sure it will work… Oh look! It’s asking to sync! So you just simultaneously hold these buttons down… Wooooo! And now we have both remotes so we can bowl! Look, your battery life is showing it’s pretty low. 

me: ???

(Maybe he can teach me a few things too!)


What happens in school? Who knows…

me: Hi, how was it today?

Jack: The usual. In gym we had to go outside and play soccer in the mud. Look at my sneakers!

me: Man, good thing you wore your old ones.

Jack: My friend wore his brand new EXPENSIVE high tops (he named some basketball player brand that I had never heard of) and they got RUINED! I wouldn’t want to be him tonight…

me: What else happened?

Jack: Oh, I should’ve brought my sax!

me: Why? It’s gym day..,

Jack: Because today was pull out day. 

me: (really??) Out of what exactly??

Jack: We got pulled out of gym to go practice with the 7th grade band. 

me: Awwww, how come you didn’t write that down?

Jack: No one told me! He never told us that!

me: Did your friends in band know about it?

Jack: Uhhh some of them.

me: Well how did they hear about it

Jack: I don’t know Mom, they just did but I swear he never told us!

me: Are you paying attention?

Jack: Yesss! Most of us just didn’t know! 

me: Well you would think that —–

Jack: (Interrupting) I. DON’T. KNOW.

me: Yeah yeah… Well don’t miss it next time because that’s important and —-

Jack: Moving on!

   
 


Trick or Nuts

Things you don’t want to hear while trick or treating… Sigh…

I’m thinking it’ll be a few more years before I can totally let Jack go out trick or treating without adult supervision. And by then he’ll be too old.

Jack: Trick or nuts!!

me: (yelling from the curb) Jack knock it off!

Jack: Guys look it says take one. It’s a whole bowl! (I see him bending over the large bowl of candy for at least 30 seconds.)

me: Jack! Just one!

Jack: No it means one of each kind!!

me: Sigh.

Jack: (rings bell…bing bong, waits 2 seconds) Guys!!! No one’s home! (Tears off to the next house. Woman answers door in 4 seconds…oh well, too late)

Jack: Cheap candy here! Don’t bother! 

me: Jaaaack, be nice…geez. And wait for your friend! 

Jack: I AM waiting!!! (He runs to the next house leaving his friend in the 7-foot-high costume to catch up at his own pace)

me: Want me to hold some? That bag looks like it’s ripping. 

Jack: No way, you just want to eat it all.

me: Grrrrr…

Jack: And I’m not sharing either! 

me: Okay we’re done. Last house! 

Jack: Guys, meet me in my mom’s bathroom so we can weigh our loot! 

me: Sigh… And like last year, he forgot about the candy the rest of the weekend and hasn’t mentioned it today yet. We’ll find it in a month…

    
 


Quote of the day – Math style

Jack: I hate math. And guess what, my friend’s mom is an IT person and she says she never used math not even once for her job so I don’t think it’s important. Plus, I’m going to make videos and if I need math for that I’ll hire someone to do it for me.


Get your F.A.C.S right!

Jack: I’m going to see the guidance office.

me: What’s going on?

Jack: I hate art.

me: (sigh…why can’t he like anything that I LOVE?) Awww, how come? I thought this year was going well?

Jack: No. My teacher is mean and she doesn’t do anything fun.

me: I think you need to take art though, so I don’t think you can switch it to something else.

Jack: No, not true! My friend doesn’t have art for the entire year and it says so on his schedule.

me: Hmmm. Well, if you go ask, I guess they’ll tell you what you can do. It might be too late though since it’s already the end of October.

Jack: Well I’m going. I want to switch into FACS. (he pronounces it like FACTS)

me: Facts? What’s that about? (I’m thinking he actually wants to switch into another class that might give out homework??)

Jack: Family and Consumer Sciences. They make waffles, Mom!!

me: Ah, the reasons become clearer.

Jack: (walking away) And I totally sew like a boss!

me: ?