My 15-yr-old-boy, what a talker

Said no mom ever.

Grunts are the main mode of conversation. Actually, I would take a grunt, because half the time Jack can’t even hear me talking because of whatever is plugged into his ear. After 3 repeats I have to do the shoulder tap. Blank stare. “What??”

Sigh.

So, mainly we communicate via text even when he’s up in his room. Why bother with all the walking and yelling up the stairs, right?

Well, now Jack doesn’t pay attention to his phone (only when his mom calls or texts, ahem…) actually his dad complains of the same thing so it’s not just me. Anyway, I still crack up when I go back and look at our texts. Is this what you all are going through with your teens? Lol. I mean really.

(That’s Jack’s opinion on the food selection at home)

…

This is me reminding Jack that he MUST answer his parents when they text or call. I mean come on!

And what’s with the horse dude????

…

This one is just weird (well maybe I’m weird too now that I read it through…) and yes this actually happened in an executive meeting. Picture me with my phone flashlight crawling under the table to find (save) a tick! I met it out the side door hahahahaha. Ok so I’m a little strange. But that tuck was more afraid of me. I could see it in his 42 eyes.

But this is about Jack not responding to his mom! Let’s all remember that!!

😂

Top 10 Sayings While in Quarantine

Jack has had to expand his activities during quarantine, and only after I boot him off XBox. It’s amazing what can be accomplished when you have the time (or are forced to.) None of these things would have been possible without this virus to keep us home and steadily burning through our boredom activities. One by one. Until you’re scratching around at the bottom of the barrel for something to do.

Here are the top 10 phrases I can recall recently that will give you a glimpse into what Jack has decided to do with his free time.

10.
Jack: Where’s the stand for that old electric keyboard? I’m gonna learn how to play piano!
me: We don’t have a keyboard stand soooo you’re out of luck there.
Jack: I need to go to the bathroom now.
me: And that takes care of that…

9.
Jack: I’m going to check out my legos.
me: Why don’t you pick out the ones you want to get rid of and I can take them to Goodwill?
Jack: Not gonna happen.

8.
Jack: Mom, these plants are NOT gonna grow if you don’t move them into the sun! (he fussily moves the baby squash plants into the patch of sun on the floor like a worried grandpa.)

7.
Jack: Check out the rose I drew for Spanish class. (he shows me a line drawing he did on his laptop, of a rose and a book).
me: That’s so cool Jack. You should color it in.
Jack: No, I like it like this. Now I need to order a stylus so I can do real drawings.

6.
Jack: I went for a run today. Now my heel hurts.

5.
Jack: (helping me cook dinner) This is either really going to be awesome or really going to suck. There’s no in between here.

4.
Jack: Ok ok, cut my hair already!
me: Really? Yayyyy!! (I had wanted to cut his hair after watching a few YouTube videos ha ha)
Jack: Just don’t mess it up…
me: Well, I can’t promise that, but it will be quarantine passable.

3.
Jack: I want to go through all my old school papers.
me: They’re organized in folders by grade, so please just put them back in the right folder and in order ok?
Jack: Um, it’s not rocket science mom.
(later…I look on the floor and the papers are scattered and completely NOT back in the folder where he got them…grrrrr…)

2.
Jack: I’ll vacuum but only if you buy a new one. This one doesn’t even spin!
(I immediately bought a new one on Amazon. Arrives Friday!)

1.
Jack: Oh look! My old drones! (the animals went crazy over this one…)

Bonus:
Jack: Oh, the 3rd episode of the Tiger King is where everything happens.
me: You’ve watched 3 episodes of the Tiger King? It’s really not appropriate Jack…
Jack: … no…?
me: Oh really, no?
Jack: Okay, I already finished the series.
me: Sigh.

I hope you are all not going completely crazy at home, and that all your kids and spouses and animals are still getting along. Jack and I keep our distance, joining up for dinner and maybe some TV. Maybe. PoBo kept trying to sit on my neck while I typed this in bed. Moca is sleeping on my foot. Luna is at the end of the bed looking regal. Jack is… still in the bathroom.

Typical night here! Be safe everyone! In CT tomorrow we now have to wear our masks full time while in public. Praying for this to be over soon.

‘All About Easter’ and 10 Years Of Blogging!

It’s hard to believe that 10 years have passed since my first blog post, on 4/2/10… a few days before Easter on Good Friday 2010.

I almost forgot this momentous anniversary, except I saw a blog post from former co-worker and current consultant Closet Fashionista today and she was celebrating 10 years writing her blog! Go check it out, it’s really addicting if you’re into fashion.

Another blog written by ANOTHER former co- worker which probably started around the same time (though I’m not certain it was within days of our 2 blogs) is: So What Are You Making For Dinner. If you love to eat, or cook, this ones for you!

Now, my silly little blog is only meant for entertainment and journaling my boy’s (ahem) witty convos. He’s still saying sh*t so I’m still writing.

Here’s the first post I ever wrote…

You can click on the link or read it below. Choices!!

…………….

ALL ABOUT EASTER

April 2, 2010

So, the first-ever post started like this.

Jack: Why are we taking the parkway?
me: Because it’s Good Friday and there is hardly any traffic.

Jack: What’s Good Friday?

me: It’s a religious holiday that falls on the Friday before Easter.

Jack: They’re telling a lie because tomorrow is NOT Easter.

me: Well, Sunday is Easter, and tomorrow night is actually when the Easter Bunny comes to our house! (trying to change the topic…!)

Jack: The Easter Bunny comes tomorrow night? Yayyy! (pauses with frown). Wait, is Sunday the day that Grandpa Louie comes over to eat?

me: Yes, he comes over on Easter to eat dinner with us and Uncle John and —

Jack: (interrupting me) But do I get my Easter Basket BEFORE Grandpa comes over?

me: Yep. You’ll have the basket in the morning, before anyone comes over.

Jack: (Sticks his thumb back in his mouth and grunts his approval. Conversation is over.)

…………..

And there you have it… the first ever post from me to you about Jack haha.

Today I gave Jack my first ever full hair cut. Aside from when I cut off his little pigtail curl when he was maybe 18 months old or something. This was full on top to bottom cutting!

me: So, should we cut it now?

Jack: Yeah, sigh, might as well.

me: Alright, get in the bathtub (my hair salon location haha)

Jack: Try not to mess me up too badly. Just take a little off the sides and….

me: Hahahaha! That’s like telling Anna (Jack’s 5-year-old cousin) how to fly a jumbo jet. Do you think I’m gonna retain that! I’m just going in!

(With a tiny baby comb and dull scissors… gasp!)

Jack: You’re not supposed to soak my head with that spray bottle, just make it damp.

me: Moca ate the tip off the bottle, so now all it does is that.

Jack: It’s cold! Go warm up the water!

me: Sheesh Jack, do you ask the barber to warm up the water when you’re with Dad?

Jack: They don’t use ice water.

I wait 5 minutes for the water to warm up and stare at Jack sitting on a chair in the tub, wearing a robe and draped with a beach towel.

He stares back.

me: There. Water all cozy now?

Jack: Ahhhh that’s better.

I start at the back making sections and trying to perform “guides” and such hahaha but I’m

Basically just hacking off pieces as best I can from the memories of watching hundreds of Jack’s haircuts over the last 13 years or so. He was bald until maybe close to age 2 … FYI.

Jack: My neck is tired from looking that way.

me: Well I can’t get around you on that side and I don’t have a chair that goes up and down so you have to keep your head where I say.

Jack: My foots asleep!

(He jerks his leg making me almost lip off his ear.)

me: Jack you have to sit still. Pretend I’m Paula (the hairdresser he sees when he’s with me). Would you jump around and yell in her chair?

Jack: She’s a professional and doesn’t take an hour.

I stare at him. He stares back.

me: Can I continue?

Jack: Please do.

Meanwhile, with every snip, PoBobo is jumping around on the floor trying to catch the flyaway pieces of hair. My bathroom looks like I shaved a Wookie.

(Side note, here’s a blog post about when Jack thought he WAS a Wookie…and possibly other various furry and disgusting creatures haha.)

So, I finished up and Jack was pretty pleased. I measured a few side pieces the way the “pros” do and made a few additional snips. The side is a little weird looking but not too bad!

I hope you all annoyed this trip down memory lane and for those of you that have literally followed us for 10 years…. THANK YOU!!’

Here’s to 10 more 😂😯😯

Actually I’ll let Jack take over the blog when he has kids someday. Omg can you imagine? I hope they are just like him.

HAPPY EASTER ALSO!

Also, two more important things to note… Jack’s oldest female cousin turned 19 today! Happy birthday Victoria!!

And, another one of Jack’s cousins (the Marine) had his first baby yesterday! (Well, his wife did haha.) Happy Birthday Maverick!!

😍😍😷😷

Quarantining and Memeing

Jack and I sometimes only communicate through random images and memes. Here is our conversation the other day. 😂😷

But, before I get into that, I have to share with you the great April Fool’s joke I played on Jack.

I texted this to him:

me: Did you see the text I sent you?

Jack: What’s that?

me: I guess everyone in CT is going to re-do their grade over in the fall.

Jack: what do you mean?

me: So you’ll go back to 10th grade in September.

Jack: (really looking worried now) But how can they do that when we almost finished the whole year?

me: Because it’s just something they do for April Fool’s Day.

Jack: (the relief washes over his face completely) What the hell Mom!!!!

Hahaha. Right??

Anyway here are some of the things we sent to each other the other day. Enjoy!

me:

Jack:

me:

Jack:

Jack: Get it? Moscow!

me: (the gif prob won’t play. Thanks WordPress…)

Jack:

me: Is that you practicing Spanish?

Jack: No.

me:

Jack: Why is it so small?

me: Huh?

Jack: Never mind.

me: Ummmm… ??

Jack: Stop getting your memes on Facebook.

me again:

me still:

Jack: Stop spamming me.

And there you have it. Communication with a 15-year-old.

😂

If we didn’t text we wouldn’t talk!

I’m blue. Jack is gray. Sigh. 😂😂😂

The old “Deez Nuts” from 2015 haha…

Not sure about this next one?

And I didn’t notice what this next image was when I looked at it small on my phone screen. Kinda gross

And there you have it. A full week of conversations. 🤨🤨🤨

Simp. Boomer. Bread.

I’m once again not entirely sure where all the new names come from. The names that certain 14-15 year olds use when talking to each other and more annoyingly, to their moms. (Ahem, one mom in particular at least). And you know how once you get a phrase stuck in your head you can almost never get it out and then it becomes a habit and no matter how hard you try NOT to say it you just have to say it?

Well, I know Jack’s in that type of cycle with a new word each month or two. I want to know who is ground zero for these words. Who coined the phrase. Who was the first to utter Simp and have it catch on in our local high school? Is it a YouTuber? More than likely. Is it someone in the high school? Probably not. Suddenly, there we are, being called Boomer, Simp, and a lovely host of other words.

‘Bread” pretty much means “money” and used sometimes to say you like something.

“W” is another one, mostly used on social media, meaning “Win”. Remember when I had to find out what “F” meant? I think that was an old post that I have to look up and link to here. “F” means “Pay Respects” in Call of Duty. Like: press F to pay respects. So kids were posting F on photos of deceased celebrities, etc. Yes I had to Google it! Whatevs!

“Simp” is just short for simple, or the type of guy that lets a woman walk all over him. Jack likes to throw this one out frequently, and it is the current phrase du jour, (or de semaine if you really want to test my French).

Anyway, I can go on, but mostly the words are rude and generally Jack gets in trouble for using them. Repeatedly. Remember my fun with being called Boomer?? Sighhhh….

Like at Jack’s birthday party sleepover. Always, always this boy gets in trouble on his birthday. Hopped up on sugar, lots of friends over, rudeness ensues.

me: Jack, if you guys are going to run around in the house, be careful and don’t break anything.

Jack: Sure simp.

me: What?

Jack: (a little softer) Simp.

me: Um no. Do not call me that.

Jack: (softer) simp.

Jack’s friend: Jack, don’t be rude to your Mom.

me: Thank you. Jack, go ahead and say it again and see what happens.

Jack: Si— (runs into the kitchen)

me: Grrrrr!

I have literally been having the same conversation with Jack for years. Years I tell you! Even when he was extremely small and called me Mrs. Mommy! I knew he meant it rudely. Then he switched to Lady. Then for a while he called me doughnut. I mean really.

Quel horreur!

 

Practicing the Maths

Jack has been getting some extra math help for honors Algebra II at a place in town, a few days a week. So far so good and he’s starting to feel more confident and less stressed after each visit.

I don’t recall being that worried about math when I was in 10th grade! Maybe I was but who can remember that far back. I mean, what with the slide rules and all, there really wasn’t much to it. 😂 Right?

Jack: Oh, Mom, today at math there was this kid asking really good questions and I got to learn some more stuff from him.

me: Good! Was he in a higher grade doing more advanced math?

Jack: I don’t really know. He looked like he was 8 but had a full mustache…

me: 🤨🤨🤨

Sooo we are heading into mid-term season and Jack has been cramming, not just for math. He has Science notes that we practice and quiz on each night (man am I glad when we get to the end of those note cards), Spanish, Global Insights (which is all revolutions and coups and “Mom do you really know the difference between these??” No I do not.) And English. And Health. Sigh.

Jack just completed a cool poster project for Spanish on a cinematographer, Gabriel Figueroa. It looked amazing and he did a successful presentation. Looking for a high grade on that one!

All this studying has given me a headache each night but I’m really learning so much more about DNA and King Edward I than I ever cared to know!

Soon Jack will have his 15th birthday with some of the boys and midterms will be over and he can celebrate with another amazing cake. Rowing themed! I promise I will share.

The way he memes

Just a few of Jack’s social posts to either give you a chuckle or cause you to worry about his deteriorating sense of humor. Mostly gross, sometimes inappropriate and occasionally mom has to say “remove that post” for so many reasons. He’s still learning.

The best meme I’ve heard is the ‘No one, not a soul” and then “insert random or funny here”. Not sure how it started but it’s catchy in the weird way that most things are when they are repeated a thousand times.

Hey, in the 80’s we used to say “he’s ranking on you’ instead of “he’s making fun of you”. And for us “jouins” (pronounces Jew-ins) meant someone was cute. “He’s such a jouins!!” And don’t even ask what a snoogie was back then. Ugh!!!

Our memes consisted of “I can has cheez burger.”

Things have progressed quite a bit… right??

……/.///

Jack: No one, not a single soul. YouTube recommends the 2018 best of compilation.

Jack: Do you smell popcorn?

Everyone: (holds breath)

Sighhh…

………………….

Mom meme:

No one. Not a single soul on God’s green Earth.

Mom: I could use another pair of boots.

🤨🤨💙💙

365 Days of Awesomeness

Taking a cue from Neil Pasricha and his blog 1000 Awesome Things, which is so totally cool and funny and delightful, all the happy words. His blog launched a book deal the very next year called “The Book of Awesome”. Read it.

My blog has not received any book deals. 😦

But I’m still hopeful! This is the decade, I can feel it!!!

Anywayyyy… we’re doing this thing that I saw on Facebook that involves a jar and little slips of paper and on the slips we right one awesome thing from our day. The goal is to read these on New Year’s Eve 2021 and see how awesome our year has been.

We are all for positivity on my house. Even the animals have a happy spring in their step. (Okay, Moca has a spring in her step ONLY if she has recently come in from a muddy walk and has a zoomie attack and tears ass around our living room which has WHITE CARPETS! PoBo will have a spring in her step only if she’s trying to get away from Moca, who will only chase PoBo and not Luna. Weird right? Well Luna will slice Moca a new one if she even tried to chase her. And Luna gets a real spring in her step when you open the cabinet containing their food. Luna will come tearing and skidding into the kitchen and twirl around your feet purring. Even if you accidentally bump the cabinet door she will be there faster than a blink.)

So yes, some of us are motivated by food. 🙂

me: Look! I started this jar and we can write down one great thing that happened to us each day. Then, at the end—

Jack: Not gonna happen.

me: Huh? No, look it’s easy, we just—

Jack: I’m already writing stuff in my own notebook.

me: Well then I’ll write my own stuff in THIS jar and read it to myself in 365 days.

(Suddenly I’m feeling less happy)

Jack: Cool.

me: Ok write one thing at least.

Jack: (takes a slip and writes something)

me: Can’t wait to read that one.

Jack: Heh heh.

Any thoughts on what he wrote? Did he call me a Boomer again though I’m clearly not a Boomer??? 😂😂😂

Sigh.

Aww remember when I had this little Dude who thought everything we did together was fun!!!???

Happy New Year – 2020!

Wow we made it. Jack finished his first full decade. 🙂 Are you all having an amazing first day of the new year? We are low key today and at home hanging out in front of our respective electronic devices haha.

Yesterday we had a fun day with Jack’s girlfriend who got to join us in an hour of escape room antics (we cracked all the codes and claimed the prize with 45 seconds to spare)… then we visited CT’s biggest tree (a sycamore naturally) and finally dined at a haunted restaurant. (Jack swears there’s a ghost up to no good near the men’s bathroom). All in a day’s fun I say!

There were many quotes of the day, some more appropriate to share than others 😂

This one cracked me up:

Jack: It’s only 7:07, why are you already crazy??

That’s my boy. We’re headed right into his birthday month. 15 years old soon! Gahhhhh! I can’t believe it … seriously. He’s not sure yet how to celebrate it. We will have to figure it out soon!! Also, I told him to pick anywhere in the world to visit for his 16th birthday. He has no clue. Sigh.

Another funny quote came from me after dinner and after dessert as the kids were goofing around in the car on the way home. Jack was loaded up on shrimp cocktail, oysters, rigatoni ala vodka, and chocolate mousse cake!

me: I think you should stop tickling Jack… he’s about to shart pasta!

Jack: Truer words have not been said. Stoooopppp tickling! Aarrrgghhh!

It was too funny. All in all it was a great last day of the decade. Anytime you can see your kids having a blast with huge smiles on their faces is a good day in my book!

How did you all celebrate the New Year??

Oh and also, yesterday was the 3 rd anniversary of the day we got Moca AND the kittens 2nd birthday! I always thought it was today… 😀😀😀

Here are my favorite pics from the day…

– Biggest tree in CT (Simsbury)

– Blue Back Square in W. Hartford

– Outside the Escape Room in Farmington

– Outside the haunted restaurant (Abigail’s in Simsbury)

How cute are they??