I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “11 year old

7 browser tabs that describe my life


7. Relaxation Methods for kids http://www.innerhealthstudio.com/relaxation-for-children.html

Jack: I’m already relaxed, and that doesn’t work anyway!

6.  Positive Affirmations http://www.planetofsuccess.com/blog/2015/powerfully-positive-affirmations-for-kids/

Jack: I am awesome! No need to affirm.

5. Five essential commands you can teach your dog. https://www.cesarsway.com/dog-training/obedience/5-essential-commands-you-can-teach-your-dog

Jack: Mom, you’re not doing it right. Show her the treat!!!!

me: sigh.

4. School lunch Calendar. https://www.trumbullps.org/Attachments/food/menu/mid.pdf

me: Jack, I don’t have time to pack you a lunch, so you’ll have to eat school lunch today.

Jack: That food is for scrubs. I guess I’ll go hungry!

me: I think it’s taco day.

Jack: Oh never mind, their tacos are awesome!

3. Webster Arena Parking. http://www.websterbankarena.com/ViewArticle.dbml?ATCLID=205157093

Jack: I don’t even like twenty one pilots, that is the worst present ever!

me: Well, I didn’t know that. And if I can’t sell the tickets, we are going.

(Later)

Jack: Mom, I changed my mind, I really really really want to go!

Me: sigh

2. Invisible fence company. http://www.freedomfence-ny.com/

Jack: That’s awesome! I can’t wait until I can just let Moca outside, and not have to walk her.

me: You still have to walk her.

Jack: Awww. 

1.  Which Oyster Ticket to purchase in London. http://www.sandyhookpromise.org/startwithhelloweekemail

Jack and I are going to London in April. Just me and him. No dog. No cat. Just a real vacation. I may even delete my work email for that week. Ha!

Jack: OMG I can’t believe we’re really going to London! 

me: We can visit all the Doctor Who spots and go on the London Eye!

Jack: Where are we staying?

me: In a hotel.

Jack: Very funny. 

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The end of 2016

I’m a little late in posting. I slacked off! Had a lot going on with work and Christmas and possibly getting a new puppy. Eeeeeeeee! So yes, very busy and just coming up for air now that I have a week off from work. (Cue hallelujah music)…

Jack LOVED all of his gifts. A new TV for his room and DJI Osmo mobile selfie stick stanilizer (whew) were the biggies. Now he can veg out with Xbox games up in his room. And I can finish my Walking Dead downstairs! At least until Jane the Virgin catches up on Netflix. 

Jack is currently watching Earth to Echo. Cute movie about an alien. Jack LOVES this movie. I can only take so much.

So, this Christmas was a little different. No one came to stay over. We didn’t visit anyone. We didn’t put cookies out for Santa. Jack said I would just eat them and I didn’t “need” them. Sigh. Jack also didn’t wake me until 6:30!! Unheard of in our family. We didn’t make a gingerbread anything. We did cut down our own tree… and decorated it with white lights for the first time. Colored lights are our favorite. But they were all dead :(.

Jack: This is the best Christmas EVER! 

me: What’s your favorite gift?

Jack: TV!! Of course!

me: Then what?

Jack: Osmo!

me: Then let me guess, the rest all falls in the same pile of mediocrity.

Jack: Pretty much. (Pause) But THANK YOU… for the TV.

me: Sigh…

Jack: It was all great. 

And I enjoyed my one present under the tree. I should really buy myself stuff throughout the year, wrap it and then put it under the tree next year. I’ll forget what it is by December, guaranteed!

The last few days are winding down in 2016… and 2017 just HAS to be better. I mean, I just found out that George Michael died! What kind of year is that?? 

I’m now getting ready for the 12-year-old birthday next month. I have an exciting surprise for Jack. I’ll tell you guys later 🙂 no spoilers! 

Now we await the little puppy Moca.  1/2 Corgi, 1/2 Pitbull. Arrives Saturday. 🙂 next year is gonna be CRAZY! 

I’ll leave you with a saying that I’m going to take to heart next year… When’s the last time you did something for the first time?

And this one: 

And a few photos in no particular order. Bella is in for a change in a few days. Hope she’s ok with it.  

Jack and I are getting ready for our 2nd degree black belt tests. Omg. And I’ll make as many days Beach Days as I can in 2017!


Can I keep blogging about you?


Jack has been reading my old blog posts and really enjoying them! He’s reading the ones from 2010 and 2011, which happened to be the only ones that I actually had printed as books. The rest are all digital unfortunately. Each year that goes by makes it a more costly expense. But I think it is something I should do for myself and have the suckers printed!

Me: Jack is it OK that I keep writing about you?

Jack: I guess so, it’s kind of embarrassing.

Just as I suspected, I knew there would come a day when me writing about his every thought and saying might be a bit too much for him to see in print, and know that it’s out there for anyone to read. Sigh

However, he is cracking up reading these and we love to read our favorite ones out loud to each other and have a good laugh. He really did say some shit didn’t he?

Me: so when do you think I should stop writing, maybe when you’re a teenager? So like, when you’re 13?

Jack: yeah, when I’m a teenager is good, but maybe stop when I’m 18!

That is not the response I expected ha ha but we’ll see how it goes into next year and how he feels about that. Right now he’s reading the post from when he was younger, and not necessarily the posts from the last year or so. Maybe that will make a difference. I’m still glad that I did it, because it is a journal of sorts and it has a lot of detail about his personality and our relationship. So it’s very special. But I know there will come a point when hearing his own shit written down and read back to him is not going to be his most favorite thing ha ha.

I’ll respect his wishes at that point, because really the blog is all about him.


What does a sneeze smell like?

Our actual conversation on the way to school. I really can’t make this sh*t up.


Jack: The car smells like my sneezes.

me: What does that mean?

Jack: Like how my own sneeze smells.

me: Does it smell like melted butter?

Jack: No, that doesn’t even make sense.

:O


An answer for everything

me: Jack, I don’t want you walking around getting ready for bed with your iPod stuck to your face. Put it down and use it when you’re done.

Jack: But I’m just watching videos!

me: Take a little break and use it later or tomorrow please.

Jack: But why?

me: Because if you have that glued to your face all day you’re not giving yourself a chance to be creative and use your own imagination. It’s doing all the thinking for you and you’re not creating anything with your own brain.

Jack: But I get all my creative ideas from the videos I watch.

me: I … Uh… Sigh.

Sometimes I just run out of arguments. 


Politics by Jack

Jack: If I was old enough, I wouldn’t vote for someone that gets set off by a Tweet. Clinton would have my vote.

me: Really?

Jack: His slogan should be “Making America Worse Again!”

me: Catchy.

Watch the funniest Trump impression here. 🙂

Almost voting time!


All about that Zika


It’s a buzz word that all kids are hearing, using and have some fear of: Zika. It’s in the news and all over the radio, and their friends are talking about it. It’s gotten so that it has become a comical word that Jack and his friends use when they talk to each other. And sometimes when they talk to their mom.

I drive Jack and his friend to school this morning.

me: Jack, what did you end up making yourself for breakfast? (Jack usually grab a bowl of cereal while I get ready. And then he asks for his second breakfast when I’m done ha ha)

Jack: Zika flakes.

His friend cracks up.

me: no seriously, what did you end up eating? I heard you making cereal.

Jack: Zika flakes, covered with a sprinkling of Zika.

More cackling.

me: Really?

Jack: no, really, it was Zika flakes covered in a sprinkling of Zika with a side order of toast and Zika and a cup of Zika juice.

OK I can see how this is going so I don’t expect to ever get a straight answer. All I have to do is go back and look at the crumbs on the counter to see what he had, ha ha.