Jack was getting into the car and smashed his leg.
Jack: OW!! Frick me in the bunghole!
me: Jack! What the heck! Why are you even saying that!?
Jack: You told me not to say ass.
(Earlier this morning)
me: Don’t forget to pack everything you need from the bathroom into your suitcase. Bring it downstairs when you’re done.
Jack: I KNOW!!!
me: (before we left for school) If you want to grab a large ziploc you can put your toothbrush and floss and all that stuff in it?
(After school before leaving for the train)
me: Did you pack everything you need for dad’s this weekend?
Jack: (sarcastically) No I forgot everything.
me: Ok good.
(Later at the train station)
Jack: I have to put these things in my suitcase, hold on. (He has a few nerf guns and some other stuff)
me: Here let me unzip it for you. You don’t have to rush. We have like 15 minutes before the train gets here.
(He looks inside and realizes that he forgot lots of things.)
Jack: Where’s my toothbrush and inhaler?? Nothing’s here!! Oh my god! YOU FORGOT TO PACK EVERYTHING!!! SO LAZY!!
Wonder if he will listen next time?
Jack always somewhat expects a gift when he returns from his dad’s place after a weekend away. I sonetimes give in to the expectation and leave something on the car seat for him to find when he gets off the train.
Sometimes it’s a toy or snack or something he needs. Last week I think it was a free book I got at the library and some gum. Haha, I know, awesome right?
Anyway the book was 13 Gifts, which I started to read and of which unapproved for an 11-year-old, and the gum was, I think, Extra with the truth or dare questions in the wrappers.
Anyway, Jack jumped in the car after saying goodbye to his dad. I had just raced the train down the street as I saw it moving parallel to me in the tracks. I was going to be late if any of the lights changed. But I made it just in time.
me: Did you see me racing the train as it pulled in?
me: Oh, well it was cool to do the same speed as the train for awhile.
Jack: (looking at the stuff on his seat) What’s this?
me: A book I got at the library. It’s really cool, and I know you’ll like it even though the main character is a girl because—
Jack: I already read this in 4th grade.
me: Oh, wow 3 years ago huh? Ok. Did you like it?
Jack: It wasn’t that great.
me: But the part about stealing the goat was funny.
Jack: You read it??
me: Not really… Hey look at the gum though!
Jack: Oh I wanted this kind, it has truth or dare on each stick.
me: Let’s do one.
Jack: Allnthe dares say to tweet something. I don’t have Twitter. (Pause) Or a phone.
I received withering stares in the mirror for the rest of the ride home.
Now enjoy the photos from Jack’s new hobby/sport… BMX!
More to come on that!
Shhhh… That’s what we used to call my sister when she was little. I don’t know why, but boy did she get mad. Wooooo! Snap!! I tell Jack some of those stories and he cracks up. Like how we used to get our butts kicked if we talked back. Omg the belt! This kid has it made. Ooohhhh a stern talking to and anyone out. The humanity! And maybe lose an electronic!
We didn’t have electronics to lose BECAUSE THEY WERENT INVENTED! I think I had caffeine today. Sigh.
Jack’s still away at camo. Missing him big time. Bella misses him. She keeps hiding her wet soggy toy mouse in my sneaker or under my pillow. Ew. I need Jack’s sneakers back here for that!
I was just signing off and going to bed when his text popped up. Now why is he up so freaken late?? Grrrr. He’ll be tired and cranky tomorrow. Or actually he’ll be fine and save the frank for me this Sunday. Mhmm.
My typo reminded me of Mustard Monster! Haha. Ok goodnight y’all.
Words cannot express how happy we are as parents when outer child not only admits their mistake, but writes a heartfelt apology to try and make you feel better.
I present you with version 1 and 2 of Jack’s apology letters from this morning.
I woke him up as usual, rubbing his back and his hair, telling him how handsome he is and that it was going to be a great day. He giggled and then tried to pinch the flesh on my legs and arms. Repeatedly. After I said stop. And then I told him if he kept doing it I wasn’t going to tickle him, I was just going to place my thumb under his armpit and not move it. Just the thought was enough to make him crazy. He pushed me away by shoving my face from the side in a not-too-gentle fashion that prompted the immediate loss of all electronics for the day, and the need for Jack to write me an apology letter:
Jack: (version 1) Deat Mom, You had just woken me up. You were tickling, bothering, and annoying me already. I told you to stop, but you were persistent and annoying me. So, to combat your bothersome nest, I pushed your face away. Judging by your reaction it was harder than it looked. You do tend to overreact, but I don’t think that was it. I’m sorry that I hurt you and I won’t do it again.
me: Nice try but you’ll have to do a better job at telling the truth Jack.
Jack: (version 2) Dear mom, this morning I was grabbing your flab. You put your thumb in my armpit. Then I pushed your face. Judging by your reaction, it was harder than it looked. I just want to say sorry, and I won’t do it again.
Now, what would you suggest I do at this point? I would really like to hear your opinions. 🙂
For some reason, Jack thinks that any food in the house belongs to him alone. So if I finish anything, I’m a criminal because u didn’t save any for him. Especially if it’s anything sweet.
Now, we are not entirely odd sugar like we used to be, and I’ve been trying to steer us back in that direction… But it’s Smore’s Seasonn people! How can we resist backyard fires and gooey marshmallows on burnt sticks? I try, but so t always succeed.
I bought a bag of bubble gum for work, to put in the community gum ball jar, and decided to have 2 pieces that night. I came in to this note…
Jack: It’s like the time you ate the ENTIRE bag ofnireos, remember?
me: Uh no, it wasn’t an entire bag Jack…
Jack: Or the time you “took my candy yo work”… (He air quotes).
me: That was real.
me: I’m glad this is done…I just ordered a dehumidifier on Amazon. Free shipping. So easy!
Jack: What’s so easy about that?
me: I mean it’s easy to order things we need online and we don’t have to go pick them up.
Jack: (doesn’t look up from his book) Cool. Can you order me a 15-round banana mag?
…On that note, here are a few photos from the weekend. None of them include banana nags. Bonus points if you know what that even is!!:) Hope you all had a safe and happy 4th of July holiday!
Jack: I never have a free night!!! I have soccer practice Tuesday and Friday, then taekwondo Tuesday and Thursday, then games on Saturday and then your classes and homework!!!
me: You were free Wednesday remember? I skipped my class.
Jack: But all I did was worry about all the stuff I was going to HAVE to do the rest of the week! I’m too stressed!