Now ask yourself, why should a mom ever have to hear any of this?
Jack has literally started conversations with these openers…
- Remember Evan that I was in the bus crash with?
- Oh, that was when the tarantula disappeared…
- Owwww, i think I just broke it again!
- I knew that was a bomb squad van…they’re black
I’m sure there are more that I’ve blocked out! 😫
Our language is always evolving. With slang and digital technology, texting shortcuts and memes, lyrics to songs and ethnic flavor…new words and phrases are expected, welcomed, tested and enjoyed. Totes!
As always, and especially now that he’s in 7th grade and has always been pretty well spoken for a kid, Jack has taken it upon himself to make sure I hear any new words over and over and over and…overrrrrr…
Until I’m triggered.
Jack: That’s so dank!
me: Is that bad?
Jack: Don’t get all triggered.
me: But is it bad? It sounds bad but also good.
Jack: It’s lit.
me: So that’s bad. (I know it’s good)
I’m sure you’ve heard of fidget spinners, and fidget cubes right? How many do you own? How many of them light up? OMG.
Jack had to order some from Canada, and then he needed a deluxe one and then he needed the cube. Keyword, need. He doesn’t need these. Maybe some kids need them, Jack doesn’t. They’re supposed to keep you focused but instead they keep Jack unfocused and worrying about his fidget spinner. I think teachers are now starting to take them away in school.
Another fad and I’m sure it will be gone by the start of school next year. Pokémon Go anyone?
Jack slept at his friends house last night and had to come home to pick up his stuff. I was calling up to him to make sure he had everything and instead of answering me he screamed out at the top of his lungs. When I asked what was wrong he said I sounded like a triggered feminist. Sigh.
He’s such a scrub sometimes.
Happy Memorial Day!
Jack was supposed to March with the school band. He had a concert in Tuesday and has been practicing like crazy. Parade is canceled again for year number 2 in a row 😦
Jack and I woke up about 15 minutes late today. Not terrible, but in Jack’s world it’s a catastrophe. He wakes up right at the exact same time every single day. If he’s a minute late he feels like there is not enough time to do all of the things he needs to do. Like, play games, read and of course eat.
As usual, there were some charming freezes slung around the kitchen this morning. Here are the top five that I could remember. I think all of them had some sort of warning associated with them ha ha.
me: Jack, let’s move a bit faster this morning. (Repeat this five times)
5. (Hand holding a cereal box over the bowl, not pouring, while he stares at his iPad) just 30 more seconds on this game!
4. I am eating, see? Look what I’m doing, look what I’m doing, sigh. (Start shoveling cereal into his mouth)
3. It’s your fault we woke up late, why don’t you set an alarm!? (When I reminded him that he can also set an alarm, he said this is just my way of stalling. Stalling for what I wonder?)
2. You always wake me up late! (I told him we were on time all this week) I mean, you ALMOST always wake me up late!! (Sigh)
1. I have detention on Monday, but it’s totally not my fault, someone just put a pan on my desk and I was giving it back to them and he said Jeff the tension! So I have to stay after on Monday. (Sigh sigh sigh)
Jack absolutely loves stationery and pens. It’s a gift he gets from his dad, and a little bit from me. We love notebooks and ink and pencils and paper and journals and writing and drawing and collecting and making piles and using half of everything and then buying more more more.
Does that mean we are creative? Or does it mean we like to hoard? Or a little of both?
When we go to the store and Jack says he needs to buy more pens, I think of the bins and bins of pens pencils Kranz erasers writing things markers sharpies colored pencils etc. etc. and I cringe. Can’t he just go shopping in our cabinet and find what he’s looking for?
Jack: No mom! Those pens are old, or the ink is dry, or they don’t write very well, and that’s why they’re in the bin. I need new ones.
me: but we have 4000 pens Jack.
Jack: That’s not my problem. Donate them.
So what does he do? He convinces me to buy some more pens when we are at Staples and he finds them on sale… 60 pend for six dollars.
Jack: that’s only $.10 each mom!
me: Yes I did the math. Sighhh.
When we get home, we have the next dilemma. Where do we keep all the pens? Jack’s answer… Right on top of his desk where he keeps everything else. I prefer to have them put away and then leave a few out and accessible. And, he can put a few in his pencil case for school. There are just so many damn pens laying around.
Of course, Jack resorts to his old tactic.
Jack: let’s just leave them on my desk and I’ll know right where they are.
Me: actually, let’s put a few in your cup on your desk and then you’ll remember exactly where they are.
Jack: I’m going to forget that they’re there! There are so many other pens in that cup!
Me: I’m telling you to remember right now, here test yourself. Jack, where are your pens?
Jack: I don’t know.
Pain in my butt.
Moca is still a little off, with some tummy troubles, but this seems to be her thing. All puppies have a thing, and this puppy has a sensitive tummy. So we’re doing boiled rice and chicken for a day or two to see if she can even out a little bit. Poor thing. She is really super sweet and friendly and happy and playful, so I’m hoping it’s nothing too serious.
Last night Jack and I were talking in his room.
me: All’s well that ends well… You know that saying right?
me: Nope you don’t know what it means, or nope all is not well that ends well?
Jack: just nope.
me: Ok funny guy, i’m just saying that even if things are bad as long as they end up well then we can say all is well that ends well.
Jack: Fam nope!
me: OK wise guy. Fam what? What’s that?
Jack: Fam is family.
I’m going to have to start turning his stuff back around on him, it’s way more entertaining for me anyways ha ha. So we will see how today goes and hopefully puppy and boy will still be feeling good when I get home from work 🙂
I took this photo of Moca tonight… (can you see her?) haha…
and it reminded me of a photo I took of Jack about 6 years ago! He was “hiding” from me.
Jack: Moca is the ultimate turkey.
me: Yes she is.
That’s what we call Moca when she stretches out like that, a big turkey haha.
I’m surprised I had enough brain cells to remember that post and photo from so long ago. 🙂
Goodnight and I hope you can find your sons and puppies!