I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “13-year-old

Fortnite

Jack: Can I buy this thing for my game? It’s only $20…

me: $20?? What could possibly cost so much!?

Jack: It’s a character type thing.

me: I don’t know, Jack. That’s expensive…

Jack: It’s my money! I should be able to use it how I want.

me: Explain what it is and why it’s so important.

Jack: (pauses) Well it’s… this tomato headed guy that wears a pizza backpack and you can throw pizzas as weapons.

me: Pizza backpack.

Jack: Yeah.

me: Tomato head.

Jack: Yesss. (He does a little hop of anticipation)

me: A tomato headed guy that throws pizzas is important?

Jack: Very.

me: Sigh.

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First day of summer camp 2018

(The eyes say at all)

I was more than excited to see that all of the camp traffic was gone by the time I got in line. Sometimes that line snakes around for 45 minutes before you can actually drop your child off. It’s one way in, and one way out. I decided to play it safe and just run the schedule a little bit late today. I made Jack a great breakfast, eggs and bacon, Rye toast, orange juice, and he threw back a few Fritos for good measure…

He has a very big lunch packed today, we put on sunblock, had one minor catastrophe because we couldn’t find the swimming goggles… I remembered the water bottle and a towel… He grabbed his bathing suit and swim shirt and hat and case for his glasses. I remembered the medical forms and the EpiPen’s… And then we also had to have a brief meeting with the camp counselor to turn over the forms and medication.

Need I remind you that I also fed and walked and played with three other furry animals… This morning!! I also managed to feed myself slap on some make up and blow dry my hair. And this was all before 8:15 AM. I guess I kind of want a pat on the back LOL. I do feel a little bit like wonder woman today though I may not look that good ha ha.

I’m still very upset that I didn’t get a picture of Jack getting off the bus on his last day of middle school. It has literally tormented me. Because, I got the first day on the bus in sixth grade, and the last day off the bus in sixth grade… So it was kind of a thing that I wanted to do for myself. But lo and behold, I raced home before Jack on that last day of school….I took Moca out for a quick pee, made sure the kitties were accounted for, and then I heard the door slam open and Jack was home.

It didn’t even register that he would never get off the bus again in middle school. Ever. Mom guilt at its finest.

So, in order to make up for that mom mishap, I wanted to get a picture of Jack on his first day of camp. Do you think he willingly agreed?

Me: Jack let me grab one quick picture before you get out of the car.

Jack: no, leave me alone, no pictures.

Me: Please, just one quick one (I tried to wrestle the camera in his face while he swatted it away)

Jack: (he’s laughing a bit) stop!

Me: Let me get a flippin’ picture!

Jack: stop yelling, Geez, everyone can hear you!

Then I noticed that the windows were down and all of the camp counselors were just standing there staring at us having this wrestling match in the front seat of the car. LOL. Sigh…

#mylife


Slacker

Me not Jack.

I haven’t blogged in awhile because life has been getting in the way AND when you’re a mom of a new teenager, they don’t always like what you post and INSIST on editorial approval, etc, etc, blah.. WYH. Was I so annoying at 13? Let’s not answer that.

Also, “they” read the posts with a little bit of laughter and reminiscing but mostly disdain, pointing out spelling errors and lack of fact checking on my part. Sometimes I’m being called out for lying. Or for being old with bad recall. Sheesh minor details. This is my blog and I’ll write it to the best of my recall abilities. Ahem.

Ha.

It’s probably all true to some extent.

…anyway…

Jack: Can I read your blog?

(Another way for him to use a digital device before bed. Hmmm.)

mr: Sure, but just read random posts so you see some from all your different ages.

Jack: No I want to go in order starting with the newest.

me: Wellllll….

Jack: (Starts reading the blog and notices that my last post was in early May). Way to slack on posting, Mom!

me: Hey I’ve been busy.

Jack: (continues reading) This is a total lie…

me: Maybe I’ll post tonight…

Jack: (swiping down at lightning speed as he reads)… NOT true.

me: Geez, I can’t win…

Jack: Not true, Lie. OH that NEVER happened…

me: Sigh.


I can’t even…

So there was a minor catastrophe the other day which may or may not have involved me getting locked out of my car. Ok Moca actually locked herself IN the car, and we were at the beach and I was supposed to be watching one of Jack’s friends…and the list goes on and on.

But that’s not the story I’m here to tell.

I called Jack to let him know that I was stuck outside my car and waiting for roadside assistance.

Jack: Hello?

me: Hey Jack, listen I’m kinda stuck at the beach for awhile.

Jack: What’s up?

me: Moca locked herself in the car by stepping on the keys and I —

Jack: Just Kidding (rest inaudible due to bad signal)

me: What??

Phone goes dead. I thought Jack hung up on me. I called him back.

Jack: Hello?

me: Hey what the heck? I have to talk to you…

Jack: What’s up?

me: Listen, I’m going to be awhile because I’m at the beach —

Jack: Just Kidding, leave a message.

Beep.

Yes exactly. That was his voicemail message.

Sigh.

And 3 hours later with the help of a very good friend, I had my spare keys delivered to me and I got to go home.

😬


May the 4th be with you!

Spoilers.

This post has nothing to do with Star Wars.

Jack: Hurry up and sign my permission slips. They’re due tomorrow!!!

me: Where are they?

Jack: In my backpack!

me: Leave them for me and I’ll sign them.

(Next day)

Jack:!We’re gonna be late! You have to sign these! You didn’t remember yesterday!

me: Leave them on the counter.

(How is this my fault?)

me: Ok, here you go. Hey, for the band parade it says they need parents to walk along and hand out waters and stuff. Want me to do that?

Jack: NO.

me: Well someone has to do it. Then who will walk?

Jack: Anyone but you.


It’s gonna be May

Ok enough with the backstreet boy memes. But it’s so funny! To me. Because I just heard about it today from Jack. We were listening to the radio and I’ll pretty much sing anything Backstreet or Justin T when it comes on, just because, and Jack said his Spanish teacher cracked that joke in class today.

We also had some funny conversations of our own!

We went to the gym, Jack was in a GOOD mood, (Oh-ho-ho!) and then we went to the store for dinner stuff.

On the way to the store Jack wanted to be dropped at home, but I said no (and dammit I just remembered that I was supposed to get gas and that’s why I didn’t want to drop him off, but of course I forgot, sigh), and Jack faked like he was going to grab the wheel and steer home.

me: Hey! Don’t mess around and put your hand back in your pants!

Awkward silence.

We both bust out laughing.

me: I meant “in your lap”.

Jack: it’s way too late to correct that. Just. No.

Hahahahaha

Kinda like the time Jack and his friend were in the car and we said something T the same time and I yelled “you owe me a beer!” and they both looked at me.

me: Please don’t tell your mom.

(Sorry Annette lol)

Happy last day of winter 😬😝


Meteorology Lesson

me: Jack, see those clouds? Do you know what weather they predict for tomorrow? It’s usually a 24- hour window that you get when you look at the clouds….it’s generally accurate…and so cool that we can predict the weather just by looking at the sky and not some dumb app. So what’s your guess?

Jack: I don’t know, rain?

me: No, look, see how they’re all bumpy and uniformly dispersed? That usually predicts the exact same weather as today. So hopefully it will be sunny and in the 60’s… just like today…Isn’t that cool?

Jack: (looking at the weather app on my phone) Says 40’s and rain tomorrow. Good job, Mom.

me: Grrr. Stupid feckin clouds.

Side note, I haven’t written in awhile and it has nothing to do with clouds or weather! Though I DO so hate the cold and am fully ready for spring to arrive. Sorry everyone, I’ll do a better job!

This article has some really interesting cloud formations. I’m kind of a cloud geek, see my Chicago Skyline photo below. I can’t believe I took such a cool photo. The rest are just bonus shots from Chicago from last November 🙂