Pets, Uncategorized

What’s that on the rug?

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Typical question in my house. It could be anything really. Dog puke. Cat puke. Hairballs. Muddy footprints. Sometimes it’s all four at once. Add in a clumsy episode by yours truly and I’d say it’s a party.

me: What the…?? (I almost stepped in a giant puddle of water and grass on my floor. It looked like someone spilled a salad. Thanks Moca!)

I cleaned up the mess and headed into the kitchen.

me: Aaaaagghhh! (I almost stepped in a brownish blob of a hairball mixed with cat food. Rug cleaner, soap, paper towels… I had hardly gone 5 feet and was starting to break a sweat.)

That mess cleaned up, I finally made it into the kitchen to start making lunch. I grabbed the container of hummus, and… whoops! It slipped right out of my hands and plopped on the floor sort of imploding and exploding all at the same time. It was like a hummus meteor had landed right in the middle of my kitchen. The animals started circling like sharks.

me: Back, back! No no no nononononooooo! Out! (one foot up holding Moca back, the other foot hopping to keep the cats away from the mess. More paper towels and soap. More sweat.)

I cleaned up the floor and salvaged what was left in the container for my lunch. Mom’s always get floor scraps for lunch. Sheesh.

me: Jaaaack! We need to leave. Now!

Jack comes downstairs ready for camp and we head down to the garage.

Jack: Hey, you know the big creature in Stranger Things? The bloody slimy one?

me: Yeahhhh…? (what is he getting at)

Jack: Well, there was something that looked just like that in the living room just now.

me: What??!1 What was it?

Jack: I don’t know but it was big. And gross.

me: Why didn’t you go see or pick it up?

Jack: I’m not touching that.

me: Touching what??

Jack: It looked like a croissant.

me: Breat? Was it Moca’s bone?

Jack: No it was way bigger than that. It was also kinda dark and slimy. It’s right over by the speaker and the fireplace. You can’t miss it.

me: Apparently I can miss it. I was busy cleaning up Moca’s grass puke, the cat’s hairball and the hummus I spilled.

Jack: Not the hummus!

me: I saved some don’t worry. (the hummus in our town is soooooo good…) So I get to come home to a giant slimy dark wet croissant in front of the fireplace.

Jack: Pretty much.

me: Gee thanks.

Later that evening…

Jack: Hey it’s gone?

me: What?

Jack: Whatever it was on the rug.

I head over to inspect. there is a football shaped stain on the white carpet. Faint, but I can tell something was there. Something I’d rather not speculate about.

We’re not sure which animal it came from or which animal ate it but all I know is that it was one less thing I needed to clean!

Who looks guilty? PoBo, Luna or Moca???

πŸ™‚ Definitely the cats haha…

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Conversations, Digital Technology

Text Us Back, Please.

It’s not bad enough that we can’t have a full normal conversation with our teen… but now even when we talk to them on their digital turf, via text, we still get shunned.

me: I know you read those texts…

Jack: So?

me: So… answer back. Why do you read my texts and not answer? It’s not hard to say good morning ya know.

Jack: You text at the most inopportune times!

me: Morning is inopportune?

Jack: Whenever is inopportune.

me: Grrrr. And “bruh” is not an acceptable replacement for “good morning”…

Travel, Uncategorized

Jack says hi

Are there any other parents out there that suddenly aren’t allowed to take photos of their kids?

We watch them grow, we mark the milestones, we make literal marks on a wall as they get taller, and suddenly the “photo album” has a lot of blank pages in it.

Wait, when did my child grow a mustache? Oh it must have been between the ages of 14 and 15 where there is no photographic proof!

Right now I’m sitting on the train with Jack headed to NYC. This is the first time I’ve ridden with him this year. This year! I used to take him every other week. Moca and I would ride happily along and then either turn right around and come home, or take a walk around the city.

This year, however, Jack has insisted on riding the train alone. It saves me 5 hours of travel time for which I’m usually grateful, but I miss the rides with him. I miss taking Moca along and having her get so much attention for being such a good girl.

So, right now, Jack is sitting across from me, passed out asleep, mouth open catching flies, as they say, and boy would I like some photographic proof to show you all.

Ugh. I won’t share a photo .

But…Boy do I want to.

πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

me: Jack, here’s a few seats here. Look it has a lot of leg room.

Jack: No, lets go find an open 3-seater.

me: I hate sitting in those. Let’s go in this 6-seater.

Jack: Ugh then we’ll get jammed in when people sit next to us.

me: No one is going to get on after Stamford, we’re fine. Look how much room we have.

A few stops later…

Camp, Conversations, Uncategorized

Happy first day of summer!

(And I’m late with this post. Don’t judge! I was all ready to finish this up but then had to work, run home at lunch for Jack and Moca, sitbkn crazy rush hour traffic, meet a contractor after work, drive Jack to his GFs house, takenMoca to the dog park, walk with my friend and then eat dinner and pass out… sooooo…. anyway read on!)

πŸ˜‚

We are still here though have been quiet for a few weeks. Very sorry about that!

The end of school, and at the beginning of summer planning has taken up every ounce of my free time.

Jack has started rowing camp, a.k.a. crew, and is enjoying it so far… That happens every afternoon… And he will also be a counselor in training at an outdoor camp in town. So that boy is going to be busy and in super shape by the end of the summer πŸ™‚

What have y’all been up to in the last few weeks?

Today is the first day of summer and the longest day of the year so normally I stay home and enjoy it, but today I worked simply because I forgot! 😱 Can i still blame new mom brain?

Jack spent the day home playing video games and “walking” the dog. Ha. But Moca seemed happy so I’m sure it was all good.

On the way to Jack’s GFs house we had a chance to talk. Or as Jack says: Mom I don’t even have to talk because you ask questions and then you answer them yourself.

Oy.

me: How are you feeling? Still sore from rowing?

Jack: Yeah.

me: You’re gonna be in really good shape by the end of the summer.

Jack: Grunt.

me: I know it’s been raining a lot but it’s going to get sunny and hot soon so you’ll have to wear sunblock for rowing.

Jack: Mhmmm.

me: So you don’t get all sunburned.

Jack: I know what sunblock is for.

me: Do you wear a hat in the boat? Do they let you? Because you might want to wear one to protect the top of your head and keep the sun out of your eyes.

Jack: I know what a hat’s for.

me; My first really really bad sunburn was in a boat when I was about your age. I forgot sunblock and my face burned to a crisp so like a week later big strips were peeling off. It was so bad.

Jack: They didn’t have sunblock back then.

me: They did but no one cared .

😫😫😫

Remember the days of baby oil and sitting on the roof of the shed to tan?

I do.

Happy summer!

Conversations, Emotions, Potty Humor, Uncategorized

Affirmations vs. Reality

I drove Jack to school as I do every day, and we rode in silence for awhile. I asked if he wanted to listen to my audio book in the car “Money and the Law of Attraction”. I’m almost done with it. He politely declined. So I put it on anyway. πŸ™‚

Esther Hicks was talking about illness, and how you can think yourself healthy with positive vibes, etc.

me: Hey, you should try positive thinking today and say some affirmations to yourself to kick off the day.

Jack: (grunts)

me: Like try this: “I can do anything I want today and it’s going to be a great day.”

Jack: I just detonated your car.

me: What? (Pause) Oh geez Jack come on!

I hastily rolled down all the windows.

Jack: Ha!

And there you have it. Affirmations vs. reality with a 14-year-old. Kinda gross eh?

Conversations, Digital Technology, School, Uncategorized

Help me but don’t help me

How many of you have gone through this exact scenario? This is a typical Jack-ism. Help me but what ever you do don’t help me! Why aren’t you helping me!? Stop helping me! Fine…don’t help me!

Lord give me strength.

Jack: I can’t find my mouse.

me: Mhmmm. Did you look for it?

Jack: I’m trying but you’re not helping!

me: I’m trying to finish the last 30 minutes of this movie, Jack.

Jack: Help meeeee! (much stomping and opening and closing of things)

me: Did you think of where you last used it?

Jack: Dad’s.

me: Well then call your Dad?

Jack: It’s not there!

me: Did you look in the kitchen?

Jack: It’s not there.

me: How about in my room? You used it there before doing homework.

Jack; I already looked, it’s not there! You’re not helping!

me: I’m trying to narrow down where—

Jack: AAaarrrgh! I can’t do my homework without my mouse!

me: Can I go look in your room? You might have just overlooked it?

Jack: No.

me: Why not? I’m thinking you might have–

Jack: I said I already looked there!

me: No you didn’t, I can just—

Jack: No! Help me!

me: I can’t help if you’re not allowing me to help.

Jack: I need to order a new mouse on Amazon right now.

me: Um, no, and you need to be more responsible with your current mouse. It didn’t just walk away. I bet it’s in your room in a bin or something.

Jack: It didn’t just randomly fall into a bin!

me: Accidentally, Jack. There’s a lot of stuff on your desk. Are you sure you don’t want me to look there?

Jack: Not happening.

me: Well then we are out of options. Why do you need the mouse anyway?

Jack; The track pad is broken.

me: Use my laptop.

Jack: I don’t WANT to use a track pad.

me: Use my desktop computer.

Jack: That’s old and slow.

me: Well what do you propose?

Jack: That you help me!!!

me: Go look in your room, I’m finishing this movie now.

Jack: (much stomping again). Yeeeeeeee!

me: What?

Jack: It was under my bed. Like how did it get there? It was just sitting there.

me: Oy.

loser

Anyhoo, this is just a “sort of” typical part of the teen brain developing. It forgets things. The forgetful part I can forgive. The rest is all Jack :O. I’ll always try to help him, but ultimately he’s responsible for his own stuff. Jack: Where’s my phone charger Mom? me: I have no idea, where did you leave it last? Jack: Did you see my Fitbit charger? (Always with the chargers!) me: Nope, I have no idea, check your suitcase, or call your dad? Jack: Hey, my mini speaker is not on my desk! me: And, I have no clue where that is either. Check the shower.

I always strongly suggest that Jack put his things in exactly the same place each night, or morning, so he can find them. He has an organizer on his desk to hold all the chargers, cables, the MOUSE, and the devices that need to be plugged in. I think it’s filled with candy wrappers.

I only have one kid, but I’m preparing this kid for life in the real world. He only has about 3 more years until he’s potentially (hopefully?) off on his own! Jack has to do his own laundry. We’re on maybe year two or three of that by now, at least. Jack: MOMMMM, I don’t have any SHORTTTTSSSS! me: Did you do your laundry? Jack: Aarrrgghhhhh!

Jack has to also do the following, weekly: All of his laundry (wash, dry, fold, put away, hang, etc), put away the dishes from the dishwasher (it used to be just the silverware, but I hate putting dishes away so now it’s his job), clean his room and make his bed, clean his bathroom, including the Mt. Everest pile of clothes that hide behind the door, walk Moca EVERY DAY after school, mow the lawn, help me with other yard work (currently cleaning out the mulch beds and laying in the new mulch, which he somehow actually enjoys!), let’s see. what else… does that sound like a lot? Oh yeah, sweep out the garage, vacuum the basement (which is something I’m adding to his list this week actually… watch out Jack… all of your black sock fuzz has really been collecting on the rug down there…) Jack has to help me with the cats nails and teeth (he’s the holder of the beasts, though they like getting their nails clipped now because they get Treeeaattttssss! They are such little piggies.) Moca I can handle on my own now (except when I bludgeon her poor back toenail by accident) 😦 Sorry Moca.

Moca just raised her head from a deep sleep to look at me after I wrote that. Weird!

As you can see, there are plenty of chores for Jack. I’m also working on his cooking skills, but we have to step up that game. Sometimes though, with all that, plus going to the gym, and oh yeah… HOMEWORK… Jack has a kinda full schedule. Like right now, he’s currently sleeping. πŸ™‚

This little article popped up for me a few minutes ago when I was looking at teen brain articles, and it reinforces what I was writing above. Take a read! Then go put your feet up and have your teenager make you a snack.

 

Conversations, Subaru Confessions, Uncategorized

Subaru Confession: Maturity??

Jack and I were in the car on the way to school this morning. He was giving me an update on one of his classes and why his seat was moved. (Not his fault).

me: Well, I bet you can concentrate better now, at the very least.

Jack: Yep. There’s a time for work and a time for play.

me: (!) What have you done with Jack…? That sounds… mature!

(I swear he winked and pointed a finger at me)

Totally not what I expected him to say. Right??

As we drove along we talked about a few other things… and about a friend of his that I mistakenly thought did something that someone else did.

me: Well, I’m glad that wasn’t him because I would have been really disappointed.

Jack: And now you finally sound like a typical parent.

me: Sheesh.