Conversations, Emotions, Potty Humor, Uncategorized

Affirmations vs. Reality

I drove Jack to school as I do every day, and we rode in silence for awhile. I asked if he wanted to listen to my audio book in the car “Money and the Law of Attraction”. I’m almost done with it. He politely declined. So I put it on anyway. 🙂

Esther Hicks was talking about illness, and how you can think yourself healthy with positive vibes, etc.

me: Hey, you should try positive thinking today and say some affirmations to yourself to kick off the day.

Jack: (grunts)

me: Like try this: “I can do anything I want today and it’s going to be a great day.”

Jack: I just detonated your car.

me: What? (Pause) Oh geez Jack come on!

I hastily rolled down all the windows.

Jack: Ha!

And there you have it. Affirmations vs. reality with a 14-year-old. Kinda gross eh?

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Conversations, Digital Technology, School, Uncategorized

Help me but don’t help me

How many of you have gone through this exact scenario? This is a typical Jack-ism. Help me but what ever you do don’t help me! Why aren’t you helping me!? Stop helping me! Fine…don’t help me!

Lord give me strength.

Jack: I can’t find my mouse.

me: Mhmmm. Did you look for it?

Jack: I’m trying but you’re not helping!

me: I’m trying to finish the last 30 minutes of this movie, Jack.

Jack: Help meeeee! (much stomping and opening and closing of things)

me: Did you think of where you last used it?

Jack: Dad’s.

me: Well then call your Dad?

Jack: It’s not there!

me: Did you look in the kitchen?

Jack: It’s not there.

me: How about in my room? You used it there before doing homework.

Jack; I already looked, it’s not there! You’re not helping!

me: I’m trying to narrow down where—

Jack: AAaarrrgh! I can’t do my homework without my mouse!

me: Can I go look in your room? You might have just overlooked it?

Jack: No.

me: Why not? I’m thinking you might have–

Jack: I said I already looked there!

me: No you didn’t, I can just—

Jack: No! Help me!

me: I can’t help if you’re not allowing me to help.

Jack: I need to order a new mouse on Amazon right now.

me: Um, no, and you need to be more responsible with your current mouse. It didn’t just walk away. I bet it’s in your room in a bin or something.

Jack: It didn’t just randomly fall into a bin!

me: Accidentally, Jack. There’s a lot of stuff on your desk. Are you sure you don’t want me to look there?

Jack: Not happening.

me: Well then we are out of options. Why do you need the mouse anyway?

Jack; The track pad is broken.

me: Use my laptop.

Jack: I don’t WANT to use a track pad.

me: Use my desktop computer.

Jack: That’s old and slow.

me: Well what do you propose?

Jack: That you help me!!!

me: Go look in your room, I’m finishing this movie now.

Jack: (much stomping again). Yeeeeeeee!

me: What?

Jack: It was under my bed. Like how did it get there? It was just sitting there.

me: Oy.

loser

Anyhoo, this is just a “sort of” typical part of the teen brain developing. It forgets things. The forgetful part I can forgive. The rest is all Jack :O. I’ll always try to help him, but ultimately he’s responsible for his own stuff. Jack: Where’s my phone charger Mom? me: I have no idea, where did you leave it last? Jack: Did you see my Fitbit charger? (Always with the chargers!) me: Nope, I have no idea, check your suitcase, or call your dad? Jack: Hey, my mini speaker is not on my desk! me: And, I have no clue where that is either. Check the shower.

I always strongly suggest that Jack put his things in exactly the same place each night, or morning, so he can find them. He has an organizer on his desk to hold all the chargers, cables, the MOUSE, and the devices that need to be plugged in. I think it’s filled with candy wrappers.

I only have one kid, but I’m preparing this kid for life in the real world. He only has about 3 more years until he’s potentially (hopefully?) off on his own! Jack has to do his own laundry. We’re on maybe year two or three of that by now, at least. Jack: MOMMMM, I don’t have any SHORTTTTSSSS! me: Did you do your laundry? Jack: Aarrrgghhhhh!

Jack has to also do the following, weekly: All of his laundry (wash, dry, fold, put away, hang, etc), put away the dishes from the dishwasher (it used to be just the silverware, but I hate putting dishes away so now it’s his job), clean his room and make his bed, clean his bathroom, including the Mt. Everest pile of clothes that hide behind the door, walk Moca EVERY DAY after school, mow the lawn, help me with other yard work (currently cleaning out the mulch beds and laying in the new mulch, which he somehow actually enjoys!), let’s see. what else… does that sound like a lot? Oh yeah, sweep out the garage, vacuum the basement (which is something I’m adding to his list this week actually… watch out Jack… all of your black sock fuzz has really been collecting on the rug down there…) Jack has to help me with the cats nails and teeth (he’s the holder of the beasts, though they like getting their nails clipped now because they get Treeeaattttssss! They are such little piggies.) Moca I can handle on my own now (except when I bludgeon her poor back toenail by accident) 😦 Sorry Moca.

Moca just raised her head from a deep sleep to look at me after I wrote that. Weird!

As you can see, there are plenty of chores for Jack. I’m also working on his cooking skills, but we have to step up that game. Sometimes though, with all that, plus going to the gym, and oh yeah… HOMEWORK… Jack has a kinda full schedule. Like right now, he’s currently sleeping. 🙂

This little article popped up for me a few minutes ago when I was looking at teen brain articles, and it reinforces what I was writing above. Take a read! Then go put your feet up and have your teenager make you a snack.

 

Conversations, Subaru Confessions, Uncategorized

Subaru Confession: Maturity??

Jack and I were in the car on the way to school this morning. He was giving me an update on one of his classes and why his seat was moved. (Not his fault).

me: Well, I bet you can concentrate better now, at the very least.

Jack: Yep. There’s a time for work and a time for play.

me: (!) What have you done with Jack…? That sounds… mature!

(I swear he winked and pointed a finger at me)

Totally not what I expected him to say. Right??

As we drove along we talked about a few other things… and about a friend of his that I mistakenly thought did something that someone else did.

me: Well, I’m glad that wasn’t him because I would have been really disappointed.

Jack: And now you finally sound like a typical parent.

me: Sheesh.

Art, Conversations, Travel

What the Frick

I always try to suggest things for Jack to do when he goes to NYC. I really want him to learn and see and experience all that there is in the city. He prefers to stay in his room playing XBox. 😦

This was a conversation we had a few months ago but I never posted it…

me: What about a show?

Jack: Boring.

me: What about going to Central Park?

Jack: It’s freezing and it’s going to rain.

me: What about finding a street fair?

Jack: No.

me: Hold on I’ll look up some things to do. (I pull out my phone and start scrolling) What about one of the museums? There are lots of shows…

Jack: We always do that. We went to the Whitney and MoMA…

me: Oh hey there’s something at the Frick Museum. Actually it’s called the Frick Collection. Geez I had totally forgotten about the Frick.

Jack: Yeah. So did everybody else.

me: Sigh.

Conversations, Uncategorized

Get to the point

Whenever we’re driving, Jack says that I can have an entire conversation by myself, and he never has to comment. I ask questions and then answer them myself. Then go on a rant about how things used to be when I was young (or something). I can talk. A lot.

Sometimes Jack has a lot to say. Sometimes not so much.

 

Jack: Oh look, the barber shop closed.

me: Awwww. What did the sign say?

Jack: Closed.

me: Oh.

 

 

Conversations, Uncategorized

Best Day Ever

Jack: I can’t believe there are parents that give their kids phones when they’re like 5 years old. They are definitely gonna be addicted to that.

me: How old were you when I got you a phone?

Jack: That was last year. I was 13.

me: Oh yeah. Hmmm.

Jack: That’s crazy to have a phone before that.

me: I didn’t let you watch TV until you were 3.

Jack: Yeah, I could do other things like read and draw.

me: You did both, very well. So… I didn’t do too bad with you then?

Jack: No, not at all.

me: 🙂

Conversations

He never saw it coming

Jack: Blah blah blah rude blah blah rude

me: Jack watch the tone

Jack: Blah blah more rudeness blah blaaaaaahhhh

me: (under my breath) He never saw it coming

Jack: Oh! He did see it coming, it never happened and no one cares!

me: Sigh.

And that’s why Xboxes were meant to be taken away 😂😂😂😂😂😂.

Jack: (from a previous post a few years back) Whats the point of getting anything new, it’s just more stuff for you to take away when I “misbehave”.