Conversations, School

A Quiz For You

Jack: Here, I have a quiz for you.

me: What is it?

Jack: If Matt needs 500 signatures for his petition but only has 318, then how many does he need?

me: Let’s see…318 + 2 is 320 + 80 is…

Jack: I don’t need to hear your work!!

me: Sheesh Jack… So it’s 182? Am I right?

Jack: (scribbling something) I don’t know… I mean, yeah correct!!

me: Heeyyy let me see that. Is that your homework?? Jack…sigh…

Uncategorized

Tree nut allergies are like Star Wars. Eat your pencil eraser instead.

Jack: Speaking of Jude. He ate an eraser today.

me: Sigh. Why?

Jack: Because it looked like a cupcake.

me: And did it taste like a cupcake?

Jack: Not really. I tried it too. But the green regular kind that goes on the end of your pencil.

me: So yours didn’t even look like a cupcake but it was tempting enough to try??

Jack: I guess so…

me: You know that isn’t food, right? And your body can’t digest it? Did you actually swallow it?

Jack: (silence)

me: Nice. You’re old enough to know better than that right? It’s not like you’re a baby that just puts things in his mouth. (And here is a site that I found interesting…edible pencil toppers!)

Jack: Did I ever eat non-food-things when I was a baby?

me: All the time. Like you once ate a pistachio shell, choked on it, threw it up and crawled away, all before Daddy or I even knew what was happening.

Jack: But that’s a TREE nut! I didn’t die?

me: No, that was probably your first exposure to tree nuts. That’s when your body said “hey, this is a bad guy…let’s remember what he looks like and next time assemble the army to kill him.”

Jack: And next time I ate a tree nut that’s what happened? But I could’ve died!!! Why does my own body want to kill itself??

me: Your body just sees the enemy, which in your case is tree nuts. So sometimes in order to kill the enemy, it has to take out some innocent bystanders in your body, and then you have a really bad reaction. Your body is protecting you a little too well unfortunately. It’s going after it’s own people.

Jack: Oh man, that is just like in a Star Wars book where Yoda picked up a battle droid and it started shooting and then Yoda turned around and had it shoot at it’s own guys!

me: And that’s just like a tree nut allergy?

Jack: Didn’t you just hear what I said?

Conversations, Holidays

O.P.M. Is that sort of like O.P.P?

Jack: Are we trick or treating tonight??

(Our power came back yesterday after 6 days and our town had postponed Halloween until tonight)

me: Yeah, let’s give it a try! I hope the neighbors remember…

Jack: Of course they will! What else is there to do around here?

me: Good point… It’s freezing out so you’ll have to wear your winter coat under your costume.

Jack: Awww! You’re totally O.P.M!!!

me: Uh… What???

Jack: Over protective Mom!

me: Did you just make that up? Actually, nevermind…

Conversations

Why our house is kind of like the 1800’s

We don’t have cable. (gasp!) I think I’ve mentioned that we cancelled cable oh like 4 years ago. We DO have a digital cable box with digital rabbit ears. Yes rabbit ears. Hello 1970. But with “digital” in front of it, we’re almost to hello 2000! But we get about 30 channels, soooo, booya to the suckers paying $115 a month for cable. But of course, we don’t know anything. Is there an election coming up? Is there a hurricane on the way? Eh, I’ll go look outside if I want the weather report. (that one was for my dad ha ha)

Netflix rules our house. At $8.07 a month, you can’t go wrong yo! But if I see one more episode of Kickin’ It, I may cry.

(Update: Now in 2019 that Netflix price is going up to a whopping $12.99!! :O. LOL)

Jack: What’s cable?

me: Like TV you mean?

Jack: Yeah… my friends have it.

me: It’s a service that give you lots of channels for lots of money.

Jack: Oh we’re totally saving money then right?? ha ha!

me: Totally.

Jack: How much are you saving?

me: Maybe $100 a month? I don’t know exactly.

Jack: Then can I get a nerf gun?

me: But… Sigh… sure.

Conversations, Grammar

Badhavior

Opposite of “Goodhavior” of course.

Jack has been creating his own dictionary of combined terms. And I think they’re a bit more descriptive than the originals!

 

me: How was acting class? (Jack started a once-a-week class after school)

Jack: (gives me the guilty look) It was okayyy, why?

me: I’m just asking. Why, what happened? You and Ben weren’t acting up again were you?

Jack: Well, he had a little badhavior, but then he stopped. I was pretty much okay.

me: Badhavior, huh? Interesting word. So if I come to the next class and grab Ben and his Mom, and we all have a talk, what do you think will come out of it?

Jack: OKAY it was all my fault!

(like I don’t know this boy)

me: What was your fault?

Jack: Sigh. We were just trying to come up with our idea for the thing, ya know, and then I grabbed him and his knee went into my face and the lady told me to stop and that was it!

me: What lady?

Jack: The mom that pretends she runs the whole school!

me: Was she a Mom or a PTA lady?

Jack: What’s a Peetay lady?

me: No, PTA for Parent Teacher Association. She works for the school and for the parents, and she’s in charge of the after school programs.

Jack: Anytime there’s a Parentssociation, that can’t be a good thing.

me: That’s not a word you know.

Jack: But it should be.

 

Last year Jack was worried about these words. Funny to go back and read the old sh*t.

 

Bedtime

Red Spots at Night

Jack: Mom! MOMMMMM!

(I ran upstairs to see what was going on)

me: Are you okay?

Jack: My nightlight didn’t go on and then when I looked around it was all black and it all turned RED and I couldn’t make the red go away and it was really scary. (he starts to cry)

me: It’s okay. I’ll fix your nightlight. Maybe this disco ball thing lit up or something and that’s what you saw?

Jack: No, it was covering both of my eyes and I couldn’t make it stop!

me: Were you rubbing your eyes? Sometimes that makes weird colors appear…

Jack: No!

me: Okay calm down. I’ll stay with you for a little bit, okay?

Jack: Okay… Was that a lucimation?

me: You mean a hallucination??

Jack: Yeah. When will those start? Will I have those??

me: I don’t think you have to worry about it. You won’t have them.

Jack: Then why is it a word?

me: Some people have them when they take drugs or medication or are very sick.

Jack: I promise I didn’t take drugs or anything! Though I might need Motrin because my head hurts.

me: I know you didn’t take drugs sweetie. And it’s not a hallucination.

Jack: Can you look it up and see what it is? I don’t want it to happen again.

me: Of course. I’ll tell you what I find in the morning.

Jack: Throw my pillow on the floor before you leave. That’s how I’ll remember to ask you.

 

So I’ve spent the last half hour looking up red spots, and red vision at night, etc. There seems to be a lot of stories out there about people experiencing the same thing. This also seems prevalent in 5-8 year olds. Or that’s when it starts. Most of the children have color blindness, like Jack does. Most were premature, just like Jack. Most spots were accompanied by headaches, which his was. Most people live with it their whole lives without any other health problems.

Well, let’s hope this was a one time deal!