Sign those yearbooks!

Jack got his yearbook today. He was so excited to have everyone sign it and then to show me all the pictures. I got to see the girl that they called “Richard” all year long, even though I told Jack that it sounded mean.

I saw mustaches drawn on all the faculty members that were considered “less than desirable”.  And I saw kids that I remembered from 1st and 2nd grade that now look like mini adults!

me: Jack, look! That’s Isabella from Kindergarten!

Jack: Huh? It is?? I thought that was somebody totally different! That’s so funny!

me: Who’s the girl that everyone likes and thinks is pretty in 6th grade?

Jack: Ewwww. No one!

me: Hmmm guess that’ll hit next year. Wait, you’ll see.

Jack: Look, that’s me with the seriously bad Mohawk.

me: Wow that is probably the worst photo I’ve ever seen of you.

Jack: Thanks…   Oh look at Alex! That’s when his eyebrows were shaved off… Hahaha… Look you can see it if you look close….

me: ???

Ahhh the memories of 6th grade. 

Hope those suckers grow back, Alex.

OMG, I made a person!

Jack and I were going to bed. I was tucking him in and kind of lingering, waiting for him to fall asleep. This is the time of day when all of his worries come flooding out. It’s usually a rough time, as I try to calm him down, alleviate any worries, and just try to get him to sleep. It doesn’t happen every night, but it happens enough that I try to head it off before it picks up steam!

Jack: Let’s talk 3D printing for a minute.

me: Ok, but make it quick…we need to get to sleep.

Jack: I loved printing the fish fossil today! Can I really go back and book time to print anytime I want?

me: Yeah, that’s the deal. If you get trained, you’re all set and just pay for the hours that you book. So we can book 2 hours per week. (This is something we set up at a local library. They gave us training on the printer and now we can go back anytime and print cool things like phone cases, little statues, and basically anything we can dream up that fits the printer.)

Jack: I can’t wait to print you the elephant phone case.

me: That’s gonna be so cool. It will take awhile though…because it’s kind of big and has interesting detail… (I’m glad he’s in a good mood..) OK, time to settle down and relax…

Jack: (rolls over to get comfy) But I’m such a loser at school!

me: (uh oh, need some quick redirecting) Hey Jack, guess what?

Jack: What?

me: You know what’s cool? Just a few years ago, you didn’t even EXIST! I had to make you, an actual person, and now you exist and have thoughts and stuff. Isn’t that cool?

Jack: No, that’s pretty regular and boring.

me: What? No way. You didn’t even exist, and now here you are with your own brain and your own thoughts, and the coolest part is that I made you. You didn’t even exist in the entire universe a few years ago!

Jack: If you want me to go to sleep just say so. Are you trying to bore me to death?

me: Sigh. Sheesh. Goodnight.

Jack: Goodnight.

That’s not exactly what he said, but it’s pretty close. I think he also said something about a banana being more interesting, or something. Geez. I’m all “making a human” over here!! Hellooooo! That’s pretty cool, and he can’t do it. So… HA! Goodnight.

 

 

Boy vs. food and the bitter irony …

 
 
(There’s always a light switch or socket in my photos!)

Jack: Can I go to InSports camp again in the summer?

me: I think so.

Jack: They have the best food.

me: That’s what you’re thinking about right now? Haha…

Jack: This one kid once ate 6 tacos for lunch!

me: They let him eat all that?

Jack: You can eat whatever you want! The tacos have beef and sauerkraut… Wait I mean sour whatsit? Sour cream. And stuff. Soooo good! They call him Man versus Food!

me: Who?

Jack: The kid that ate 6 tacos. He was only in 3rd grade!

——————–

In other news, my ironic evening. Sigh… 

I was getting dinner ready and broke a glass on the floor. I cleaned it up pretty quickly and shook the rugs out on the deck to be extra safe. I then went outside to start the grill for the salmon I was preparing. Barefoot.

I stepped on the glass and there’s a piece in my foot right now. 😦    Isn’t it ironic? Dontcha think?

Quote of the day – Math style

Jack: I hate math. And guess what, my friend’s mom is an IT person and she says she never used math not even once for her job so I don’t think it’s important. Plus, I’m going to make videos and if I need math for that I’ll hire someone to do it for me.

Get your F.A.C.S right!

Jack: I’m going to see the guidance office.

me: What’s going on?

Jack: I hate art.

me: (sigh…why can’t he like anything that I LOVE?) Awww, how come? I thought this year was going well?

Jack: No. My teacher is mean and she doesn’t do anything fun.

me: I think you need to take art though, so I don’t think you can switch it to something else.

Jack: No, not true! My friend doesn’t have art for the entire year and it says so on his schedule.

me: Hmmm. Well, if you go ask, I guess they’ll tell you what you can do. It might be too late though since it’s already the end of October.

Jack: Well I’m going. I want to switch into FACS. (he pronounces it like FACTS)

me: Facts? What’s that about? (I’m thinking he actually wants to switch into another class that might give out homework??)

Jack: Family and Consumer Sciences. They make waffles, Mom!!

me: Ah, the reasons become clearer.

Jack: (walking away) And I totally sew like a boss!

me: ?

Change the school, not me

  
Last night…

me: Jack it’s late, 2 more minutes then lights out.

Jack: No I’m drawing. I’ll finish when I’m done.

me: Now it’s one minute. 

Jack: No.

me: Lights out now if you’re gonna be fresh. You need your rest.

Jack: I don’t need rest AND I’m not produce mom!

This morning…6:05…

Jack: Mommmm!!

me: (running upstairs) Wha—?

Jack: I have to pee.

me: It’s time to get up actually. 

Jack: (looks at the clock) WHAT??!! I’m not getting up now!!! CALL THE SCHOOL AND TELL THEM TO CHANGE THE HOURS!! KIDS CANT GET UP THIS EARLY!!!

The phrase “told ya so” was on the tip of my tongue.

10 random things heard today

1. Raspberry Preemies? “I thought a preemie was like a German cookie or something.?”

2. Cafetorium. “We have the weirdest name for a room in our school. It sounds like where things go to die.”

3. Flubby. “Mom, you’re looking less flubby these days.”

4. Old age club. “You’re already there mom.”

5. Separated hamstring. “In gym they make you sit down and put your foot on a box then bend the other leg and then stretch down and try to touch your toe and push this little thing as far as you can then hold it for like 30 seconds or a minute until your hamstring separates and it’s like their shoving a knife in there and twisting!”

6. Too early. “Call the Board of Ed and tell them it’s not normal for us to be at the bus stop at 7am. Tell them to start school later! I should still be in bed at 7am!!!!”

7. Pine fresh. “I think Ed peed here on your Ernie doll. He smells all pine fresh.”

8. The plumber is crying. “Of course I just bit my lip, whaddya think, the plumber just bit his lip? Or did I bite the plumbers lip? Geez!!”

9. Raking my head. “Here gimme the brush and let me show you how you’re brushing my hair like a rake and removing my scalp!!!”

10. Exalted leader. “I was just nominated leader of the kids club so I don’t want to go to taekwondo on Thursday because that’s when I’m being sworn in.” (Members = 3. Location = tree.)

Why pie? Why NOT pie.

I made an amazing sugar fee pumpkin pie to go with my sugar free new me! I tried this last September, remember? 

We had wanted apple pie but stupid Paula Red apples that turn mealy in one day we’re the only apples on hand, so I had to shift gears.

My pumpkin pie used 3 Tablespoons of Splenda. The way nature intended. Ha. 

Anyway, with a skim milk base and lots of pumpkin, it’s a pretty healthy snack. For pie, that is. Only 208 calories per slice… Yay! 9g sugar from the pumpkin. 

Anyway, Jack and I have been eating a slice a day. Yum! 

me: This is a new recipe but it’s pretty good, right?

Jack: (between mouthfuls) So good….

me: (savoring another bite) Hmmm what would you change, if anything? More cinnamon?

Jack: I would change it to apple.

Shelf life of Mom

Jack and I took a walk after dinner tonight. Yesterday. I think it’s already tomorrow… Yikes… What!? I woke up because I forgot to floss! And then remembered I forgot to post this. Yawn…

We had a great time on our walk. Jack didn’t remember to grab his scooter, he didn’t ask if he could ride his bike, and no friends tagged along. He walked at my speed actually with me and we talked. He even wanted to hold my hand for a bit! 

Jack: You’re 50. 

me: Huh…Wha???!!!

Jack: I mean you’re almost 50 so that’s about the same thing.

me: Gee thanks. (but I smile at him)

Jack: You almost reached your expiration date!

me: Oh no, I have a long way to go. Besides, if I expire, just think where that’ll leave you!

Jack: (suddenly realizing) No I don’t want you to expire ever! But if you do, I’m totally moving in with Alex.

me: Nice.

Happy birthday month to me! One step closer to being half a century. Don’t I get a plaque or antique plates or something?

Tomorrow I step up my workout routine and I’m back to avoiding all added sugar. You heard it here first!

Bat Boy

We’re at the doctor’s office picking up forms, having a checkup, trying to avoid Jack getting a shot, the usual Mom fun.. School starts tomorrow! Omg…

Jack picks up the baby book – Are You My Mother?

Jack: (In his best deep Batman voice) Are you my Mother? Out of the nest he went but he could not fly…

I almost fell on the floor laughing. The doctor came in and was wondering why we both looked like we had been crying.

(Thanks BatDad)