Holidays

Jack is thankful for…

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Jack: Mom, we better not do that fake thing at thanksgiving where we ask what everyone is thankful for. No one tells the truth. I’m thankful that we don’t have school. See? That’s what the truth sounds like.

me: Awesome .

Jack was also thankful for the Mad Libs that we did around the table, taking turns to pick the words. Read it out loud and enjoy! Guess which part got the most laughs!

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Conversations

3 ways things have changed from a year ago

1.A year ago…
Jack: Can I have breakfast??
me: Sure. What do you want?
Jack: Cereal.
me: (I get him a bowl and he reads while eating)

Today…
me: (still in bed) Did you eat?
Jack: Yeah I ate two bowls of cereal and some banana bread. I already played legos for an hour. Oh, and I watched a video while I ate.
me: Grunt.

2.
A year ago…
Jack: Want to play with me?
me: Okay, just let me put the plates and food away.
Jack: (whining) You always have to do stuff first!!!
me: Jack, I’m hurrying! The cats will get this if I don’t put it away. Sheesh.

Today…
me: Do you want me to come up and play legos with you?
Jack: Sooo not happening. (slam)

3.
A year ago...
Jack: Can you call my friend so we can have a play date?
me: Let me talk to his Mom first. We have to coordinate. I have to find a few hours when I’m free.
Jack: You don’t have to stay with me!
me: I don’t really know his parents, so I’m gonna stay while you play with your friend. Or you can invite him over here.

Today…
me: Are you going over your friend’s house?
Jack: Be back at 5:30! (he yells as he’s going out the door to hop on his bike and ride a few houses down to his friend’s house)
(The cats and I stare at each other)

Anyone else noticing the same thing? 🙂 I looked back to find a post from last year that I could reference. This is a good one. We still have that same morning song and dance going on, though Jack is much more independent. I still trip over nerf guns in the hallway.

Conversations

8 things that Jack says without realizing

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Jack says a lot of sh*t as you all know. He’s banned me from saying certain things or from calling him certain pet names out of embarrassment. He’s only 8 and he’s embarrassed by me? Argghh! Well I can be a bit over the top.

However there are some things that Jack says that would be equally embarrassing if anyone found out. Not that I’m telling. 😉

I just realized that at some point I’m probably going to really have to ask for permission from Jack to post this stuff. I don’t need him mad at me just because I needed blog content!

Now for Jack’s top 8 sayings. Let’s hope he doesn’t read this anytime soon.

1. Feel my butter cheeks. (Jack says this when he wants to show off his smooth face. He literally has the worlds best skin. And he can thank me for applying 8 years of sunblock.)

2. Make my hair all cute. (This is said in the morning if he doesn’t want a Mohawk. I need to know this code.)

3. Purrrrr. (Like a cat, Jack purrs when he is especially happy. It usually involves lots of hugs for me!)

4. Who’s a fluffy little man? (Reserved for Brownie the hamster. Because he really is a fluffy little man!)

5. Goodnight and meow meow. (We both still say this at bedtime. Jack says meow meow as coming from Stripey his sleep friend and I still say meow back to them at the door before I shut off his light. I wonder when that one will end.)

6. Can you make maple brown sugar plus plain with raisins and cinnamon? (Literally how Jack asks for his oatmeal in the morning. Instead of just saying Can I have oatmeal.)

7. Squeeze! (Jack still says this when he gives me a hug. I’m sure he doesn’t even realize it anymore.)!

8. DK DC. (Don’t Know. Don’t Care. I hear this a thousand times a day. Annoyingggggg! To say the least)

Well that’s the list! Any bets on when he will give up some of the phrases?

DK DC.

Conversations

When am I old enough to…

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Kids can’t wait to get older. Their parents wish they would always stay young. 😦

Jack has asked this same question a thousand times. When will I be old enough to…? You can fill in the blank.

Jack: When can I trick or treat by myself?

me: Maybe when you’re a teenager. Maybe.

Jack: Awwww! When can I have a phone cuz all my friends have them!?

me: When you’re old enough to be somewhere by yourself. Sooo, you’re years away from that too.

Jack: Then when can I be at the mall with my friends without you?

me: When you’re old enough to drive yourself there.

Jack: Well, when’s that?

me: You’ll probably be 17? Something like that.

Jack: Argghh but that’s forever away from now! But I can use your car right?

me: You’re gonna have to buy one somehow.

Jack: Yeah, well how old do I have to be to move out??!! (He stomps away)

School

What I missed in 2nd grade…

me: Hey, don’t forget you have to study for your social studies test.

Jack: The test was actually today.

me: Oh, ok, how’d you do?

Jack: Pretty good.

me: Did you know all the answers?

Jack: I think so.

me: What kind of questions were they? Multiple choice?

Jack: Yeah some were that, and some were open ended.

me: Open ended. That’s a good phrase. Do you know what that means?

Jack: It’s when you write an answer after reading the text.

me: Text?

Jack: It means the question.

me: I know what it means. I’m just surprised you knew it, that’s all. I’m impressed.

Jack: Mom, that is so second grade. I learned that like 2 years ago.

me: I think I learned it in college haha! Good for you.

Jack: Maybe you should’ve paid attention in second grade.

me: Touché.

Jack: I have no clue what THAT means.

Conversations

Jack: No one in the history of the world ever…

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me: What?

Jack: Nevermind. You won’t get it.

me: Get what? Come on you can tell me anything…

Jack: Well…. It’s like I don’t think anyone in the world thinks this but me. Like if I’m talking to my friend and he’s blah blah blah then in my head I say “wow my friend is talking to me right now and I’m listening and this is what we”re doing in the entire world!”

me: I totally used to do that, Jack! Really. It’s like you realize that this is what’s happening at this very moment in your life. It’s being present in your own consciousness. You’re not the only person to do that you know. But it’s pretty cool huh ?

Jack: Yeah, I do stuff like that a lot.

me: When I was a teenager and went to a concert, I would think “my actual favorite band is in the same room with me and I can see them right now!” It was so cool, but then usually I missed whatever song they were playing right then. Heh heh.

Jack: Yeah I really don’t care about hearing stories about bands from the seventies. (He walks away)

me: Sheesh! … Helloooo…it was the EIGHTIES!!! … Sigh…

Food

Snackable, which is my new favorite word btw

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Just the word alone makes me hungry. Mmmm, snackable. And who isn’t hungry at … oh … 12:34 A.M! Everyone is hungry at this hour. It’s why cereal was invented.

Jack came to my office on Monday because schools were closed for Columbus Day, and alas, my office was not. This is usually a marathon on the iPad for Jack. He generally loves it. But this time, I tried to mix it up with having him do Xtra Math online, plus Khan Academy, which is his new fave. PLUS, I had him make me bracelets on his new loom (which is really just another fad invented so that kids have new ways of torturing themselves ala Pokemon Cards… “I’ll make YOU a bracelet, but I’m not making HIM one”… “Waaahhhhhhhh!!!”…. Sigh). The loom is also just another toy to use as a threat when 8 year olds misbehave. “I’ll take THIS right now Mister, and it’s going WAAAAYYY up here until you can behave!” (I open the cabinet and a nerf gun and some water balloon contraption falls out and hits me in the face… Jack jumps up gleefully because this is like Christmas for him even though I’m PUNISHING HIM helloooo, and he forgets about the loom as he dives for the long forgotten nerf gun). SIGHHHH.

Where were we?

Okay, remember, we’re at my office. Just making sure I didn’t lose you.

Jack: Can I have a snack?

me: Sure. I have an apple, a banana, a yogurt… whatcha want?

Jack: (looking aghast) Is it all just healthy???!!!

me: (mocking him, which is a new not-so-favorite and annoying habit that I’ve acquired). OHHH NOOOO not HEALTHYYY!!!???? GASP!!!!

Jack: You’re making fun of me???

me: (sheepish) Sorry. But seriously what do you want.

Jack: What else is there?

me: (digging in the lunch bag) Um, a cheese stick, and another veggie sushi roll.

Jack: That’s still all healthy!!! Where’s the sugar-coated crap??!!!

me: Sigh. Whatchitmister.