1 new thing I learned from an 8-year-old


The scene opens to a dimly-lit train interior packed with Millennials going to NYC. And then there’s us. Playing Scrabble on my iPad. Two 11-year-old girls sit across from us. Jack keeps one eye on them at all times. He adopts a “cool guy” slouch sit posture.

me: Your turn.

Jack: (thinks for a bit while studying his letters). Ohhh! Ah-HA!

me: Looking over his shoulder. What’s that? That’s not a word.

Jack: It sure is.

me: No it is not. I’m looking it up.

I pull up the definition and start reading it out loud as Jack reads with me. I gasp, then stop reading. Then start laughing. The two girls giggle. Jack looks pleased with himself.

me: Where’d you learn THAT?

Jack: Around.

Definition: Check it out here...


Jack: Yo, I just took out the garbage!


me: What?

Jack: With my face.

me. Again. What??

Jack: I was sledding next door and smashed into their garbage can. With my face. Do I have a concussion?

me: I don’t think so. You have a red bump on your forehead…

Jack: Yeah baby! I SO took out the garbage with my face!!!

me: Yeah you’re fine.


The musical sarcastic stylings of Jack



Listening to music with Jack (or any 8-year-old) is a challenge because they like to hear the same songs over and over and over and over and…

If there’s a song they like, you have to have it on continual repeat. Just try and sneak in one of your favorites and see what happens. The groans, the “this sucks”, the whining, etc etc. I tell Jack “look, let’s listen to one of my songs and see if maybe you’ll like it.” Jack usually makes such a ruckus that I start the song over. Because I couldn’t hear it the first time. Then the groans get louder. So I start it over again. This goes on a few times, and then Jack actually wins. I can’t take it. I put on Avicci again. Not that he isn’t awesome or that his song is one of my favorites. But really. High rotation on every channel, and then constant repeat in my car. I dream of this song. I hear it when I wake up. It starts to haunt you after awhile.

So, in the car today I put on the freaken Avicci, and then skipped ahead to Lenny Kravitz. I was just in the mood people!

me: Jack, listen to this next song. It’s pretty cool. I listened to it when I was in college.

Jack: No one wants to relive the music from the 80’s mom. (he really says this and I really don’t know where he picked this up!)

me: Sigh. Just listen. You might like it. How do you think you got to like all the other songs that you actually like.

Jack: They were good.

me: Just. Listen. (I start the song over because he biotched through the beginning)

Jack: (whine)

me: Listen. It’s saying “it’s not over til it’s over”. Do you know what that means?

Jack: It means its annoying?

me: Listen! For Pete’s sake. Sheesh.

Jack: Who is this anyway?

me: Lenny Kravitz.

Jack: Who? Lenny Crapitz?

me: Knock it off Jack.

Jack: Sorry.

me: So, if you say it’s not over til it’s over, it means don’t give up on…

Jack: (interrupts) Yeah you’ve told me this once or twice or A THOUSAND TIMES.

me: (turning the dial) There. Happy?

Jack: (starts singing the Avicci song)

And I wonder why I’ve been popping Advil like candy this week. Geez.


Jack is thankful for…


Jack: Mom, we better not do that fake thing at thanksgiving where we ask what everyone is thankful for. No one tells the truth. I’m thankful that we don’t have school. See? That’s what the truth sounds like.

me: Awesome .

Jack was also thankful for the Mad Libs that we did around the table, taking turns to pick the words. Read it out loud and enjoy! Guess which part got the most laughs!



3 ways things have changed from a year ago

1.A year ago…
Jack: Can I have breakfast??
me: Sure. What do you want?
Jack: Cereal.
me: (I get him a bowl and he reads while eating)

me: (still in bed) Did you eat?
Jack: Yeah I ate two bowls of cereal and some banana bread. I already played legos for an hour. Oh, and I watched a video while I ate.
me: Grunt.

A year ago…
Jack: Want to play with me?
me: Okay, just let me put the plates and food away.
Jack: (whining) You always have to do stuff first!!!
me: Jack, I’m hurrying! The cats will get this if I don’t put it away. Sheesh.

me: Do you want me to come up and play legos with you?
Jack: Sooo not happening. (slam)

A year ago...
Jack: Can you call my friend so we can have a play date?
me: Let me talk to his Mom first. We have to coordinate. I have to find a few hours when I’m free.
Jack: You don’t have to stay with me!
me: I don’t really know his parents, so I’m gonna stay while you play with your friend. Or you can invite him over here.

me: Are you going over your friend’s house?
Jack: Be back at 5:30! (he yells as he’s going out the door to hop on his bike and ride a few houses down to his friend’s house)
(The cats and I stare at each other)

Anyone else noticing the same thing? 🙂 I looked back to find a post from last year that I could reference. This is a good one. We still have that same morning song and dance going on, though Jack is much more independent. I still trip over nerf guns in the hallway.


8 things that Jack says without realizing


Jack says a lot of sh*t as you all know. He’s banned me from saying certain things or from calling him certain pet names out of embarrassment. He’s only 8 and he’s embarrassed by me? Argghh! Well I can be a bit over the top.

However there are some things that Jack says that would be equally embarrassing if anyone found out. Not that I’m telling. 😉

I just realized that at some point I’m probably going to really have to ask for permission from Jack to post this stuff. I don’t need him mad at me just because I needed blog content!

Now for Jack’s top 8 sayings. Let’s hope he doesn’t read this anytime soon.

1. Feel my butter cheeks. (Jack says this when he wants to show off his smooth face. He literally has the worlds best skin. And he can thank me for applying 8 years of sunblock.)

2. Make my hair all cute. (This is said in the morning if he doesn’t want a Mohawk. I need to know this code.)

3. Purrrrr. (Like a cat, Jack purrs when he is especially happy. It usually involves lots of hugs for me!)

4. Who’s a fluffy little man? (Reserved for Brownie the hamster. Because he really is a fluffy little man!)

5. Goodnight and meow meow. (We both still say this at bedtime. Jack says meow meow as coming from Stripey his sleep friend and I still say meow back to them at the door before I shut off his light. I wonder when that one will end.)

6. Can you make maple brown sugar plus plain with raisins and cinnamon? (Literally how Jack asks for his oatmeal in the morning. Instead of just saying Can I have oatmeal.)

7. Squeeze! (Jack still says this when he gives me a hug. I’m sure he doesn’t even realize it anymore.)!

8. DK DC. (Don’t Know. Don’t Care. I hear this a thousand times a day. Annoyingggggg! To say the least)

Well that’s the list! Any bets on when he will give up some of the phrases?