Growth Chart & Flashback to Some 8th Grade Memories

(Another lovely text exchange I had with Jack…)

Yesterday I made Jack stand against the wall so I could measure him again. In one month he grew another half inch. He’s roughly 6 feet 1 inch, but I’ll have to confirm the exact height. This kid was always in the 100th percentile for height, weight and (sorry Jack) head size. Actually that one trended “off the charts”. Full of brains as I always say.

I started measuring Jack when he was about two. I put some marks way up on the wall (hidden in my walk-in closet) to denote where I thought Jack would be at certain times years from then. I picked a height somewhere close to my mid-chest height and wrote “cry”. Which meant, when he got that big I would certainly cry because he wouldn’t be a baby anymore.

I made marks to show how tall I thought Jack would be when he was 14, 15, 16, etc. Right now, he’s about a quarter inch below the “16 years old” mark. Boy did I underestimate the stretch factor in this kid! I also track what grade he’s in so we can see the growth pattern in a few different ways.

Check out the Growth Spurt Meltdown here when Jack was 5. :O

Now back to this story…

Jack: Why did you write “cry” here?

me: Because I knew I would be so sad when you got bigger than that.

Jack: Did you cry?

me: Not really… I don’t remember actually. (I probably did!)

Jack: Look, I grew only a half inch here, but two inches here.

me: I must have fed you well then. Growth spurts are sort of random it seems.

Jack: When we move we’re totally taking this wall with us.

me: Totally. Sawing it right out of the closet.

Jack: (looking at where I measured myself a few times for comparison) Look, you shrunk since the last time we measured you.

me: And… we’re done here.

Here’s another funny post about a growth spurt and Jack getting in trouble in school…Oy!

And this one about the backwards pants incident and what actually wasn’t a growth spurt, lol.

I’m not sure when the current growing will stop, but man, this is one tall kid. 🙂

And just for fun, a bonus post that talks all about Jack heading into 8th grade. Well, mostly I talk about my 8th grade experience, because I like to talk… and then eventually I get around to some of Jack’s 8th grade news. If you’ve made it this far … THANK YOU!

 

 

Fortnite

Jack: Can I buy this thing for my game? It’s only $20…

me: $20?? What could possibly cost so much!?

Jack: It’s a character type thing.

me: I don’t know, Jack. That’s expensive…

Jack: It’s my money! I should be able to use it how I want.

me: Explain what it is and why it’s so important.

Jack: (pauses) Well it’s… this tomato headed guy that wears a pizza backpack and you can throw pizzas as weapons.

me: Pizza backpack.

Jack: Yeah.

me: Tomato head.

Jack: Yesss. (He does a little hop of anticipation)

me: A tomato headed guy that throws pizzas is important?

Jack: Very.

me: Sigh.

May the 4th be with you!

Spoilers.

This post has nothing to do with Star Wars.

Jack: Hurry up and sign my permission slips. They’re due tomorrow!!!

me: Where are they?

Jack: In my backpack!

me: Leave them for me and I’ll sign them.

(Next day)

Jack:!We’re gonna be late! You have to sign these! You didn’t remember yesterday!

me: Leave them on the counter.

(How is this my fault?)

me: Ok, here you go. Hey, for the band parade it says they need parents to walk along and hand out waters and stuff. Want me to do that?

Jack: NO.

me: Well someone has to do it. Then who will walk?

Jack: Anyone but you.

Cloudy with a chance of kittens

So this happened:

I know… RIGHT?? My new little girls.

Luna in the back, PoBo in the front. And no, it’s not PoBoy as in sandwich. For those of you that have asked and those of you thinking it. 🙂 It’s a small child’s way of saying Polar Bear.

Hey, Jack used to say Kkkk for Christmas tree. This is an evolved name!

And of course they are white so we had to name them whitey names. Not like Honky as one friend suggested. But we went through the gamut of whiteness: Snow, Cotton, Crystal, and then we started getting silly and thought of weather names like Cloud and Fog and Cold Front.

Then we joked that we would name them Low Pressure System and Barometric Pressure, haha. Or Windy and Rainy. But Luna stuck out on my list and Jack liked it. PoBo was pre-named before she even arrived and I dared NOT even attempt to veto that one. Jack picked it naturally.

I come home from work now and have two little mountain climbers scaling my legs. Must remove tights first and put on thick sweats! Aaahhh. We cut their nails so it was heavenly for a day or two. Now they’re sharp again! Oy!

Overall they have been a sweet and fun addition to the family. Moca is perplexed and whiney and tried to lick them to death on the one or two introductions we’ve made. She lunged one time so we put a stop to the visit early. We’ll keep trying!

You know what I’m doing, right? With Moca and now these guys. I’m building my support system for when JACK LEAVES FOR COLLEGE! I will have a well-established group of animals that adore me and I will not miss him for a second. That is, if he manages to get out of the closet I’m locking him in until he’s 50 after high school graduation. Not weird at all right?

Cuteness break:

That’s the kitties squawking at me when I walk in the bathroom. Aka “Their Home” for now. Awwwwww!

Taking it slow 🙂

Jack and I have this crazy coordinated cat/dog dance that we have to do now. PoBo is the chill kitty but she’s become a flight risk. I open the bathroom door and she leaps over my feet like lighting and hides under my bed. Luna, aka Looney, who does CARTWHEELS in the air as she maniacally plays with a miniature fuzzy road kill squirrel (thanks Kelley lol) is more hesitant when faced with an open door.

Jack; Mom, come here!

me: In a minute, I’m doing something.

Jack: Mom! It’s the Walking Dead!

me: Wha—? ( I head to my room )

Jack: Look! I can’t close the door! PoBo keeps sticking her paw in it clawing at me like the walking dead and I can’t close it!

Moca is pacing and whining, beside herself at the sight of the little white paw.

me: Ok, first let’s get Moca out.

We double door it, closing Moca outside my bedroom door.

me: Now it’s ok to open the door a bit and push her —–

Jack: Aaaaahhhh! She’s out!

PoBo does a flying leap over Jack and takes over my bedroom.

me: Ok, you go in the bathroom and I’ll grab her, and then we will figure out how to get out while keeping them in.

We wrangle the kitties and get in the bathroom.

me: I know, let’s put them in the bathtub and then make a run for it.

Jack: Have you seen them jump?? It’s like one second before they’re out of the tub.

Well that’s all we got. It works and we make our escape checking so we don’t close a kitty paw in the door.

We open my bedroom door and Moca lunges in and races to the bathroom door to sniff and whine. We drag her out.

Repeat many times throughout the day. Ha!

We should have named them Hurricane and Tornado!

(A little meet and greet in Moca’s crate)

🐶😺

Happy Birthday to my Teen!

Yes everyone, hold onto your hats. Jack turns 13 today. This makes 8 years of blogging for me! Originally started as shitmy5yearoldsays, this blog has been my one true outlet for all things Jack. And doesn’t he say a lot of … SH*T??

Yep.

Still going strong.

I asked Jack to name one thing he’d want the readers of his blog to know about him since he’s now a teenager (well at 4:36pm he will be… we are sticklers for time in this family)

Jack: I have nothing to say.

me: For the first time in 8 years.

And there you have it.

Happy birthday Jack!

Test grades and why studying is so important…

Jack: Mom, I got back a Spanish test today.

me: Oh yeah? What’d you get? (Usually Jack trucks me into thinking he did poorly when actually he got a 100.

Jack: 15 out of 30. So not very good.

me: Really? How come you didn’t do that well, did you not study? I don’t remember you studying here so I hope you did in school…

Jack: Not Really.

me: Jack, if you have a test then the days leading up to the test are for studying. You know that.

Jack: it’s usually easy but I did t understand the questions. Oh and by the way, I have another Spanish test tomorrow.

me: Come on Jack, time to study! Get out your book and I’ll help you.

We flip to the page and I start to read exclamations in Spanish which have two answers to choose from as responses. You have to pick the most appropriate response to the first sentence.

me: Okay tell me what this means.. (I read the first exclamation.)

Jack: That means My feet are sore.

me: Ok answer A. Says Don’t take off your shoes and B. Says Take off your shoes. Which is the appropriate response?

Jack. A.

me: Huh? Jack, their feet hurt so why would you say to keep your shoes on. It’s B. Take off your shoes. I can see why your grade was low, it’s not Spanish we need to work on it’s your English! Sheesh.

Jack: This takes place in Argentina, which is full of broken glass probably, so they shouldn’t take their shoes off.

me: ??

Jack: Ok read the next one.

me: (reading poorly in Spanish) Ok what’s that mean?

Jack: it says “I’m tired”.

me: Answer A. Says to go to bed and answer B. Says to get up. Which is the correct response?

Jack: B.

me: Seriously? It’s A Jack… He’s tired so he should go to bed.

Jack: When I’m tired you make me get up for school so A is the right answer.

me: Grrrrrrrrrr…

School lunch woes

Jack: ugh I ate too much at lunch today. It made me kind of sick.

me: What did you have?

Jack: Stomach pains.

😝😝😝

Zelda Breadth of My Patience

Or Breath of the Wild as it’s more commonly known. My name is more accurate though…methinks? (I’ve also called it Breath of the Bad, Death of the Wild, Life and Death, etc, hahaha… Jack didn’t find it funny.)

me: Time to turn off the game Jack.

Jack: Can you give me 5 minutes to get my horse to a stable?

me: Really…

Jack: It’s a really good horse. Don’t worry, I’ll be fast. I have to register it.

me: As what, a sex offender?

Jack: (looks at me)

me: Well geez… what does that even mean?

Jack: I have to register it as mine so no one will take it. What should I name it?

me: Joe.

Jack: (silence)

Game: Yaaaahhhh!

me: What is that noise.

Jack: Nothing to see here…

me: Oy.

Moone Boy

Jack and I have been watching this Irish comedy Moone Boy for the past week or two. Totally addicting. It’s about this Irish kid with a grown up imaginary friend played by Chris O’Dowd, whom I love! His movies are hysterical…

We now say “feck” all the time which is hilarious and sort of an appropriate way to swear.

The accents are awesome and we sometimes have to stop and rewind certain parts because A. It’s so funny we want to hear it again or B. We have no feckin idea what they just said. It took us the complete first season just to make out the lyrics to the theme song, which only has two lines. Jack gets the credit for that one.

(When he was little he used to like getting credit for something and would always yell “I get da credid for dat one” in his baby voice lol. Just remembered that as I typed this.

Jack: Isn’t it weird how that guys face is totally at the bottom of his head?

me: Uh … what?

Jack: Look at his head, it’s all forehead and the bottom third of his head is where his face is.

me: Ooohhh yeah haha, he’s kind of funny looking. He’s been in other things, he’s kinda familiar.

Jack: You know who he looks like? There’s a character in Bolt that looks just like him. Do you remember? Did you see that movie?

me: Yeah I saw it. Maybe it’s the same guy…

Jack: Bolt is animated, I meant he looks like the guy…

me: Oh, maybe I didn’t see it.

Jack: Sigh.

Ha! Finally got him back for 12 years of “sighs”…

I hope everyone in our area is staying warm! Where’s me jumper?! (Watch the show and you’ll get it.)

Merry Christmas!!

Jack and I had a nice Christmas at home today. He didn’t wake up too early, and actually Moca and I were still asleep while Jack ripped through his stocking 🙂

I’m assuming every family with a boy aged 9-15 had to purchase at lease one Nintendo Switch, like I did. Or at least some gaming equivalent. Right?? It was all about the Switch all day.

I tried to keep the mess at a minimum because just this past Friday I knocked the whole darn tree over trying to get Bella out from under it and to an emergency vet appointment.

Yes, it was a very tall tree. Yes, it was a very huge mess.

Sadly, Bella became very sick very quickly and I had to have her put to final rest on Saturday night. Our sweet girl wasn’t with us for Christmas as she had been since 2003. We miss her terribly. Little did I know (though part of me suspected) that these would be the last photos I would take of my little kitty. 😦

I’ve been keeping myself (and Jack) occupied with many walks on the beach, in the woods and around the neighborhood with friends (ok just Kris), Jack and Moca. Many miles have been logged into my Fitbit as we enjoy our Christmas break.

Now, back to the presents and the mess. Is it terrible for me to ask Jack to crumple up the paper and toss it in the trash bag after he opens each present? Nahhhhh. But he felt a little differently.

Jack: Geez…Anyone else think of Christmas as a chore? (Crumple toss)

me: Just keep tossing your paper over here. You haven’t even gotten one in the bag yet. Come on. Pick up all the twisty ties before Moca eats them.

Jack: Sigh…

We had fun playing Mario Kart, I lost… and watching multiple Doctor Who episodes. Weeping angels!! (Shudder) And tonight we watched the Planet of the Apes first movie, which, I kept telling Jack, was awesome! Finally he relented and “allowed” me to rent it, and afterwards he said he really liked it. Guess we will be watching Apes 2 and 3 this week. Because it takes place in San Francisco it reminded me of all my trips out there. The first was when I was pregnant with Jack. We visited Muir Woods and I have a photo of me at the entrance sign, right where James Franco brings Caesar into the park for the first time. My pants were unbuttoned because I hadn’t yet transitioned to maternity pants LOl. (Moca is snoring right now and having doggie dreams next to me on the couch).

Jack liked the ending scene of the movie which was shot on the Golden Gate Bridge.

Jack: How come nothing like this happened when I was in San Francisco??

me: Apes taking over the bridge seems like a fun time to you? See? I told you it was a good movie.

Jack: It’s not a movie unless the Golden Gate Bridge gets destroyed or mutilated.

me: Touché.

Now we are full of hot cocoa, getting tired and ready for a long sleep. It will be nice having a few more days off this week. (Moca is really running in her sleep here!)

Here’s my view of her right now. Picture all 4 legs running in place and you’ll get the full effect haha.

We hope you had a great holiday and are enjoying the break! Here are a few more photos from today….

And of course the little beast ate her presents already and one ended up in the trash! Pitbulls have strong jaws and a crazy need to chew!! Ugh!

Merry Christmas everyone!