Jack: I’m not going in that building of DOOM!
me: It’s not doom.
Jack: Oh, like YOU’VE ever been in there for yourself!
me: Well not literally this building, but I have my own.
Jack: Well it’s not doom like this. And if that same lady comes in first…
me: Settle down, they’re just gonna look at you.
Jack: No shots?
me: No shots. Promise.
Jack: Even without a shot it’s still a doomed building.
me: I’m sure the doctor will love to hear that.
Jack: Mom, how did the first Mexican mom get born if Adam and Eve were American?
Jack: Oh, they must have had ALL the parts in them at the same time. To make like brown skin people and Mexicans and the Jewish people, because today’s their holiday you know.
me: Did you fold your uniform when we got home? I should have checked, but I seem to think you might have just flung it across the room.
Jack: Well, I started folding it and then I decided that I don’t have time for all of this. That would have wasted like 3 hours of play time.
Jack: Can you stop driving like 100 miles for an hour?
me: Per hour.
Jack: Prower is NOT a word, so can ya slow down lady!
Jack: When we get home can I drive?
me: What? No you can’t drive.
Jack: You said if I had a good day I could drive your car.
me: I did not.
Jack: Yesss! You SAID “If you behave for me every day and have a perfect school year with no trouble, I’ll give you my car keys and you can drive.”
me: I was joking and we haven’t gotten through the whole school year yet AND you’ve been rude to me already today.
Jack: Hey, I can’t wait that long, so instead of driving around town, I’ll just drive up and down the driveway, okay?