One Slash One Slash Twelve

Happy New Year everyone! Show of hands for who is thankful that 2011 has ended for good! (me) Show of hands for who also LOVED many, many things about this year? (me) See? You can have it both ways.

I’m not doing an “I’m grateful for…” post. All of my closest family and friends, and the mailman, already know what’s on that list. The mailman because damn girl did I order a lot of boots this year. And yes, I am grateful for them. (sniff)

Jack and I spent a fun day reading, ice skating, arguing, arcading and play-dating. (that’s not pretend dating, that’s playing with friends). We kept busy! As we walked home from the neighbor’s house right before bed, in the misty evening fog, Jack got a little spooked.

Jack: Mom.

me: What…

Jack: Carry me.

me: Up the driveway? No.

Jack: (glancing around) It’s sooo dark…

me: Our driveway lights are out for some reason…hmmm…

Jack: This hill is too long and my legs are tired. What was that? (he whips his head around)

The fog and light mist gave everything an eerie silence that we don’t usually get to enjoy in this neighborhood. A twig snapped off to the left in the woods.

me: (whispering) SHH! (we both stopped walking) Did you hear that??

Jack: (also afraid to raise his voice) Yesssss… What IS that noise? Ohhhhhhh…. (hand wringing)

me: Let’s keep going, you can do it…

Jack: Right now I have the feeling we’re being monitored.

me: Watched? By who?

Jack: Aliens. This is when they get you. Shhhh!!! (another twig snapped)

me: (with the hairs raising on the back of my neck) It’s probably a deer. Come on don’t stop.

Jack: (turning into Rain Man) Definitely being monitored, definitely.

We made it to the top of the driveway. I noticed that I had forgotten to shut the garage door. Or HAD I?? Shit.

me: (trying not to make Jack nervous) Jack, did I close the…

Jack: (Interrupting me…suddenly not afraid anymore) Hey Einstein! Try closing the door next time whydon’tcha! Geez!! You want someone to break in?

He ran up the stairs into the kitchen flipping on all of the lights as he went.


Are aliens real?

Now of course I’m going to say no. What would you say to a 6-year-old just before bed?

Jack: I’m scared of the dark again.

me: I thought you were okay with the nightlight and glowing planets on the ceiling?

Jack: That might be part of the problem. I’m worried about aliens.

me: Oh I don’t think you have to worry about something that isn’t real.

Jack: What about phantoms? Or phantom aliens?

me: Not real.

Jack: Why does my book talk about UFOs and the Bermuda Triangle then? Are they not real too?

me: I’ve never seen either of those things and I’ve been around a LONG time.

Jack: But the phantoms have the scariest face that’s sort of a ghost and sort of an alien.

me: Are you getting this from the Halloween catalogs that are piling up in the kitchen?

Jack: Yeah because why would they make a costume if it wasn’t of something real??

me: Just for entertainment of course! Did you see the human pizza slice costume?

Jack: (giggles) Yeah…

me: Do you think there are giant pizza slices wandering around the neighborhood?

Jack: Maybe? I mean, no. But pizza is a REAL thing. That’s what I mean.

me: Wait a minute. I thought you were Big Foot these days. So aren’t people afraid of YOU?

Jack: Oh yeah! I forgot. Ha ha!  That’s you just doing your Mom thing again!

me: (I pat myself on the back…) Glad I could help.

Jack: I guess they write about aliens just to mess with our heads.