Sh*t My 6-Year-Old Says (but he's 18 now)
I started this blog when Jack was only 5 years old! And, still, I can't make this sh*t up!
Jack: Kids are gross.
me: You’re a kid.
Jack: I mean other smaller kids. They’re nuts.
me: Yeah I agree.
Jack: I’m never having kids when I grow up.
me: You might change you mind, no?
Jack: I decided this two whole years ago! I’m pretty sure.
me: You were 5 when you thought about this?
Jack: Yeah and then I decided again yesterday.
me: Taekwondo? When the baby kept yelling at you?
Jack: I don’t want any kid that’s gonna just yell all the time and be annoying!!!
me: God FORbid!!!
Here’s some sh*t Jack said while we were on vacation last week:
Boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to get more stupider.
I don’t want to be a girl. I don’t want to be a boy. What do I want to be? Hmmm…Maybe a TV!!!
It was fun spitting off of Blood Rock. That was so fun.
Debi and Kim. Guess what those first initials spell? Donkey Kong. Everyone knows that.
Tell me something that girls can do that boys can’t. And not the gross body stuff that we all know like having babies and feeding them. Can’t you just feed them a bottle??
What do boys panic about that girls don’t?
I wish I had a sister so I could hide grasshoppers under her pillow. I mean, that’s what sisters are for right?
(I don’t have a clue either…)
5 questions that led to lengthy discussions that is. A few happened right at bedtime, which is customary with Jack. Lights out, covered up in fluffy blankets, a few friends snuggled in, all is well in the world, and then WHAM!
1. Will I get a step mother that will replace you? (Uh…no.)
2. It’s really hard for a mom to be a mom, isn’t it? Why would anyone want to do it? They always have to get up and get you stuff, and there’s no qualifying exam, is there? (Amen.)
3. Why don’t we stop having babies and just let them grow up and live forever so no one has to die? We can just make houses really close together to fit everyone. (I love how he says “we”.)
4. Why do you sometimes forget dessert, when it has to happen every single night? (I’m a retard of course.)
5. I don’t want to die of carbon monoxide so can you please make an appointment to get the furnace cleaned?!! (Yes I’ll get right on that.)
Sh*t My 6-Year-Old Says (but he's 18 now) 