Jack: What would you do if a bad guy took me?
me: He’d be in serious trouble.
Jack: But what would you DO!?
me: I haven’t thought about it because we never let you out of our sight. So a bad guy wouldn’t have a chance to take you.
Jack: Are there bad guys in this town?
me: I’m sure there are some, but not too many. They like to stick to the bigger cities.
me: More places to hide out.
Jack: Oh. Will one ever come to this house?
me: I don’t think so.
Jack: Ohhhh, I’m SO scared!!! (read: overtired, overstimulated and hopped up on cotton candy)
me: We’re always gonna be here to protect you.
Jack: What’s Dad gonna do?
me: The same thing I would do. It would be a bad guy take down!
Jack: Mom, you’re not taking him down to Provincetown! Sheesh!
me: What about Chinatown? Can we take him down there?
(Our dumb saying of “take you down to Chinatown” has morphed to “take you down to Provincetown” and even Jack’s funnier version of “I’m gonna take you down to Hmm Hmm town” when he can’t think of a town name. Let me remind you, we’re weird!)
Jack: Noooo, how about I sleep with a bat under my bed.
me: If it will make you feel better.
Jack: It didn’t work for Calvin. He ended up hammering everything in his bedroom at 3am because he was scared and his Dad got real mad.
me: I can see how that would make a Dad get upset at 3am.
Jack: Let’s just move to an even smaller town with NO bad guys.
me: I will see if there are any left. Goodnight.
Ah to be so innocent as to think there is any place left on earth that contains humans and is devoid of bad guys. Wait, there actually is one, and you can read about it here. Hmm.