Jack was getting into the car and smashed his leg.
Jack: OW!! Frick me in the bunghole!
me: Jack! What the heck! Why are you even saying that!?
Jack: You told me not to say ass.
Sh*t My 6-Year-Old Says (but he's 18 now)
I started this blog when Jack was only 5 years old! And, still, I can't make this sh*t up!
Jack: Can I have soup and grilled cheese for dinner?
me: Sure. But we don’t have rye, you’ll have to have wheat.
Jack: Eww, then screw the grilled cheese.
Jack: I mean heh heh no thanks heh heh.
Nice. Thanks for reading my funny little blog about the boy who says a lot of sh*t. Amazing that I’ve gotten 18,000 views. Well, 18,001. But who’s counting?
We’re visiting my family this weekend in Massachusetts. Which involves a lot of eating. Ugh. We normally go out for breakfast, and then go somewhere afterwards to eat. Seriously. When Jack and I arrived…everyone got a taste of Jack’s new colorful language.
Jack: Why the hell are we standing around in the kitchen, let’s go!
me (and family): WHAT??
me: Sigh…Home Alone… “Why the hell’d you take your shoes off, why the hell are you dressed like a chicken”…it was bound to happen.
Jack: That’s not bad.
me: Yea it is. Don’t say it.
Jack: Is this just more stuff for your blog??? Shit my 6-year-old says?
me: Sigh…Well it’s “7” now…so I guess 7 year olds should know about good manners and language, eh?
Jack: (with a British accent) Terribly sorry mutha, but I’ve got to go to the loo!
Here are some of Jack’s comebacks. Which, by the way, he says so often that I have them all memorized. I just say them at the same time that he does. Makes him a bit angry, kind of like I’m what…pushing HIS buttons?
me: Jack, watch your mouth! I don’t like that language.
Jack: That’s funny cuz I can’t even see my own mouth!
me: Please don’t be fresh!
Jack: What am I… dairy?
me: Stop pushing my buttons please!
Jack: I don’t see any buttons but I would push them if I could see them!
me: Eat your chicken (steak, turkey, whatever).
Jack: I don’t eat meat!
me: Can you please brush your teeth?
Jack: I AM brushing my teeth.
me: You’re actually sitting on the floor playing with your toes.
me: Can you please get dressed?
Jack: I AM getting dressed!
me: You’re actually playing laser games with Bella.
me: Can you get your shoes on please, we’re late!
Jack: I AM getting my shoes on.
me: Oh really? You’re sitting on the toilet.
Jack: Well when you ask dumb questions…
me: Heyyyyy???!! Don’t be fresh.
(say it with me)
Jack: What am I…dairy?
And so on and so forth.