I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “bad language

Those are “inside words”!

Jack was getting into the car and smashed his leg.

Jack: OW!! Frick me in the bunghole!

me: Jack! What the heck!  Why are you even saying that!?

Jack: You told me not to say ass.

me: Grrrrr.


What happened to “no thank you” as the first response?

Jack: Can I have soup and grilled cheese for dinner?

me: Sure. But we don’t have rye, you’ll have to have wheat.

Jack: Eww, then screw the grilled cheese.

me: WHAT??!!

Jack: I mean heh heh no thanks heh heh.

me: Grrrrr!


18,000 views!

Nice. Thanks for reading my funny little blog about the boy who says a lot of sh*t. Amazing that I’ve gotten 18,000 views. Well, 18,001. But who’s counting?

We’re visiting my family this weekend in Massachusetts. Which involves a lot of eating. Ugh. We normally go out for breakfast, and then go somewhere afterwards to eat. Seriously. When Jack and I arrived…everyone got a taste of Jack’s new colorful language.

Jack: Why the hell are we standing around in the kitchen, let’s go!

me (and family): WHAT??

me: Sigh…Home Alone… “Why the hell’d you take your shoes off, why the hell are you dressed like a chicken”…it was bound to happen.

Jack: That’s not bad.

me: Yea it is. Don’t say it.

Jack: Is this just more stuff for your blog??? Shit my 6-year-old says?

me: Sigh…Well it’s “7” now…so I guess 7 year olds should know about good manners and language, eh?

Jack: (with a British accent) Terribly sorry mutha, but I’ve got to go to the loo!

me: Sigh…


A quick retort for everything

Here are some of Jack’s comebacks. Which, by the way, he says so often that I have them all memorized. I just say them at the same time that he does. Makes him a bit angry, kind of like I’m what…pushing HIS buttons?

 

me: Jack, watch your mouth! I don’t like that language.

Jack: That’s funny cuz I can’t even see my own mouth!

——————–

me: Please don’t be fresh!

Jack: What am I… dairy?

——————–

me: Stop pushing my buttons please!

Jack: I don’t see any buttons but I would push them if I could see them!

——————–

me: Eat your chicken (steak, turkey, whatever).

Jack: I don’t eat meat!

——————–

me: Can you please brush your teeth?

Jack: I AM brushing my teeth.

me: You’re actually sitting on the floor playing with your toes.

or

me: Can you please get dressed?

Jack: I AM getting dressed!

me: You’re actually playing laser games with Bella.

or

me: Can you get your shoes on please, we’re late!

Jack: I AM getting my shoes on.

me: Oh really? You’re sitting on the toilet.

Jack: Well when you ask dumb questions…

me: Heyyyyy???!! Don’t be fresh.

(say it with me)

Jack: What am I…dairy?

 

And so on and so forth.