Well, you know what they say?

Jack: Who’s “they”

me: They who?

Jack: That’s what I’m asking.

me: I don’t know what you’re saying.

Jack: When they say they, who are they?

me: Who are you talking about. Who’s they?

Jack: That’s what I just asked you!

me: Do you mean in general? The general they?

Jack: They’re the military?

me: Sigh.


Jack: This joke is sooo funny but it has a bad word in it that I have to say if I tell you the joke.

me: Hmmm…okayyyy?

Jack: Well the ending is funny and it’s “…everyone but me is an idiot!!!” Sorry. I tried that joke out on the bus last year.


Jack: You don’t want to know how that turned out.


Jack: This pasta is good!

me: Thanks. Glad you like it.

Jack: Did you know that a wasp lays its eggs on a spider and when the babies hatch they eat the spider and save the vital organs for last, so the spider’s alive while it’s being devoured?

me: (looking down at my pasta)

Jack: Gross huh?

(P.S. Jack’s quoting Calvin and Hobbes directly now. He memorized the wasp story verbatim. I thought he was telling me something he learned at school. Either way, still GROSS!)

Emotions, School

Just another day in 2nd grade

This is how we spent our weekend... cleaning up after a freak storm...
And to think, just a few short weeks ago, we were doing THIS!


Jack is too funny. As soon as he steps off the bus, I can read him like a book. Big goofy giant-toothed smile = good day. Head down, shoulders all hunched over and fake pout = bad day. Red-faced holding his jacket and looking frazzled = Hot day. Cranky face, still yelling obscenities over his shoulder = someone on bus pissed him off kind of day.

We had a quick power outage today, and it threw all of my clocks off. The microwaves and various electric clocks around the house were either blinking or off by an hour. I guess that’s how long the power was out? Who knows. It also seems that the two battery-operated clocks that we have BOTH decided to run out of juice today. How freaken peculiar! So therefore when I got home from work, I wasn’t entirely sure what time it was, and wasn’t entirely sure if I had a few minutes before Jack’s bus came.

I chugged down the driveway, dodging all of the branches and various storm debris, slipping and sliding on all of the wet leaves…of course my 70-degree steep driveway angle doesn’t help. But I made it to the street. Not a soul in sight. I waited and waited, the wind started howling. I looked down the street and none of the other moms were posted at their driveways. I worried that I had totally missed the bus. But then I saw the it coming. Whew.

Jack came down the steps with his “jacket off, holding a bunch of stuff, smiling, but not in the giant-toothed way, and then sort of frowned”. I checked my list of expressions. What did this mean!?? I couldn’t tell. OR he’s finally gaining his version of a poker face. Throw every emotion at Mom and she’ll never figure me out. I’m sure he’s saying that to himself.

Jack: I said a bad word in the hall and a teacher heard me.

me: (aha, it’s GUILT! This is a new one) Soo, what word was it?

Jack: Kill.

me: You said it TO her??

Jack: No, I just said it to another kid. Not like I was going to KILL him, but just in another way.

me: What did the teacher say?

Jack: To not say it again.

me: What did you say?

Jack: Nothing.

me: Good man. So that’s it? How was the rest of the day?

Jack: I got a card in music.

me: Is that like soccer? Did they throw you out?

Jack: Huh?? NO, then you have to go see the teacher at the end of class.

me: What happened?

Jack: I was singing too loud.

me: Remember this happened last year a lot? You need to sing softer sweetie.

Jack: But I LIKE to sing!

me: Well if they tell you to sing the song softer, just listen and you won’t get in trouble.

Jack: I wasn’t singing their song.

me: Sigh.

Jack: I sang “Party rock is in the house tonight!”

me: Sigh. Okay. Well don’t do it again.

Jack: But you sing it all the time.

me: It’s catchy. Kinda sticks in your head.

Jack: That’s what I TOLD her.

me: Well, just try to follow the teacher’s rules okay?

Jack: In my class I went up to Good Day though.

me: That’s good news. Excellent!

Jack: Does it all even out?

me: Uh.. I guess so. Doesn’t sound terrible.

Jack: Good, because I wasn’t sure if I had a good day or bad.

me: Yeah, too many different stories today. I think you had an okay day. Don’t say any bad words and keep it down with the voice of yours! (we both laugh)

Jack: So good day means I can watch Sponge Bob, right?

me: Aha, an agenda. Yeah you can watch.

Jack: I knew if I convinced you it was a good day you’d let me watch it. You’re the best Mommy!

me: Don’t I know it!