Jack: This joke is sooo funny but it has a bad word in it that I have to say if I tell you the joke.
me: Hmmm…okayyyy?
Jack: Well the ending is funny and it’s “…everyone but me is an idiot!!!” Sorry. I tried that joke out on the bus last year.
(pause)
Jack: You don’t want to know how that turned out.
——————–
Jack: This pasta is good!
me: Thanks. Glad you like it.
Jack: Did you know that a wasp lays its eggs on a spider and when the babies hatch they eat the spider and save the vital organs for last, so the spider’s alive while it’s being devoured?
me: (looking down at my pasta)
Jack: Gross huh?
(P.S. Jack’s quoting Calvin and Hobbes directly now. He memorized the wasp story verbatim. I thought he was telling me something he learned at school. Either way, still GROSS!)
This is how we spent our weekend... cleaning up after a freak storm...And to think, just a few short weeks ago, we were doing THIS!
Jack is too funny. As soon as he steps off the bus, I can read him like a book. Big goofy giant-toothed smile = good day. Head down, shoulders all hunched over and fake pout = bad day. Red-faced holding his jacket and looking frazzled = Hot day. Cranky face, still yelling obscenities over his shoulder = someone on bus pissed him off kind of day.
We had a quick power outage today, and it threw all of my clocks off. The microwaves and various electric clocks around the house were either blinking or off by an hour. I guess that’s how long the power was out? Who knows. It also seems that the two battery-operated clocks that we have BOTH decided to run out of juice today. How freaken peculiar! So therefore when I got home from work, I wasn’t entirely sure what time it was, and wasn’t entirely sure if I had a few minutes before Jack’s bus came.
I chugged down the driveway, dodging all of the branches and various storm debris, slipping and sliding on all of the wet leaves…of course my 70-degree steep driveway angle doesn’t help. But I made it to the street. Not a soul in sight. I waited and waited, the wind started howling. I looked down the street and none of the other moms were posted at their driveways. I worried that I had totally missed the bus. But then I saw the it coming. Whew.
Jack came down the steps with his “jacket off, holding a bunch of stuff, smiling, but not in the giant-toothed way, and then sort of frowned”. I checked my list of expressions. What did this mean!?? I couldn’t tell. OR he’s finally gaining his version of a poker face. Throw every emotion at Mom and she’ll never figure me out. I’m sure he’s saying that to himself.
Jack: I said a bad word in the hall and a teacher heard me.
me: (aha, it’s GUILT! This is a new one) Soo, what word was it?
Jack: Kill.
me: You said it TO her??
Jack: No, I just said it to another kid. Not like I was going to KILL him, but just in another way.
me: What did the teacher say?
Jack: To not say it again.
me: What did you say?
Jack: Nothing.
me: Good man. So that’s it? How was the rest of the day?
Jack: I got a card in music.
me: Is that like soccer? Did they throw you out?
Jack: Huh?? NO, then you have to go see the teacher at the end of class.
me: What happened?
Jack: I was singing too loud.
me: Remember this happened last year a lot? You need to sing softer sweetie.
Jack: But I LIKE to sing!
me: Well if they tell you to sing the song softer, just listen and you won’t get in trouble.
Jack: I wasn’t singing their song.
me: Sigh.
Jack: I sang “Party rock is in the house tonight!”
me: Sigh. Okay. Well don’t do it again.
Jack: But you sing it all the time.
me: It’s catchy. Kinda sticks in your head.
Jack: That’s what I TOLD her.
me: Well, just try to follow the teacher’s rules okay?
Jack: In my class I went up to Good Day though.
me: That’s good news. Excellent!
Jack: Does it all even out?
me: Uh.. I guess so. Doesn’t sound terrible.
Jack: Good, because I wasn’t sure if I had a good day or bad.
me: Yeah, too many different stories today. I think you had an okay day. Don’t say any bad words and keep it down with the voice of yours! (we both laugh)
Jack: So good day means I can watch Sponge Bob, right?
me: Aha, an agenda. Yeah you can watch.
Jack: I knew if I convinced you it was a good day you’d let me watch it. You’re the best Mommy!
