Jack: Mom, please please stop telling everyone what you call me at home.
me: What do you mean? I don’t tell anyone that…
Jack: You told Grandpa on Sunday!
me: No, actually he guessed.
Jack: But you told him it’s the opposite of this and it sounds like that, so basically you just told him!!
me: But it’s cute!
Jack: It’s emBARRASing!
me: Everyone has nicknames you know.
Jack: Not like that! Can you just use it at home, and maybe just in the morning or something when I’m not really awake??
me: Okay I’ll try.
Jack: Do you promise??
me: Of course I do. I don’t want to embarrass you, but I love you and I just sometimes call you nicknames. It’s a hard habit to break. Plus you’re so cute.
Jack: Oh brother…
me: Okay time for bed. Get in there…
Jack: Do we have school tomorrow?
me: Who the heck knows. Can you hear that wind?
Jack: I measured the snow with my toothbrush and it almost went ALL the way up the handle!
me: Clever… Did you bring it back in?
Jack: Yeah, but it’s down in the basement because I was watching the movie while I brushed.
me: Sigh. Okay, all tucked in and toasty?
Jack: Yeah (big yawn) I’m tired.
me: Get some rest. Goodnight sweet cheeks. I love you.
Jack: Goodnight. I love you too.
Jack: Mom! MOMMMMM!
(I ran upstairs to see what was going on)
me: Are you okay?
Jack: My nightlight didn’t go on and then when I looked around it was all black and it all turned RED and I couldn’t make the red go away and it was really scary. (he starts to cry)
me: It’s okay. I’ll fix your nightlight. Maybe this disco ball thing lit up or something and that’s what you saw?
Jack: No, it was covering both of my eyes and I couldn’t make it stop!
me: Were you rubbing your eyes? Sometimes that makes weird colors appear…
me: Okay calm down. I’ll stay with you for a little bit, okay?
Jack: Okay… Was that a lucimation?
me: You mean a hallucination??
Jack: Yeah. When will those start? Will I have those??
me: I don’t think you have to worry about it. You won’t have them.
Jack: Then why is it a word?
me: Some people have them when they take drugs or medication or are very sick.
Jack: I promise I didn’t take drugs or anything! Though I might need Motrin because my head hurts.
me: I know you didn’t take drugs sweetie. And it’s not a hallucination.
Jack: Can you look it up and see what it is? I don’t want it to happen again.
me: Of course. I’ll tell you what I find in the morning.
Jack: Throw my pillow on the floor before you leave. That’s how I’ll remember to ask you.
So I’ve spent the last half hour looking up red spots, and red vision at night, etc. There seems to be a lot of stories out there about people experiencing the same thing. This also seems prevalent in 5-8 year olds. Or that’s when it starts. Most of the children have color blindness, like Jack does. Most were premature, just like Jack. Most spots were accompanied by headaches, which his was. Most people live with it their whole lives without any other health problems.
Well, let’s hope this was a one time deal!
me: (shutting door, going down two steps…)
me: (back up) What’s up Jack?
Jack: My eye itches. Can I have a wet paper towel?
me: Sure… Here you go.
Jack: Thanks. Goodnight.
me: Goodnight. (I make it all the way down stairs)
me: Sigh! (up the stairs) What’s going on?
Jack: I’m sorry, but my bed’s wet from the paper towel!
me: Why did you… Sigh, here move over.
Jack: All you’re doing is putting another blanket on top of it?
me: It’s fine. Goodnight.
me: (I make it downstairs AND into the bathroom)
me: Grrr. (stomp up the stairs) Come on Jack, what’s up?
Jack: I’m really sorry! But I can’t find Stripey! I’m sorry!
me: It’s okay…sigh, here let me turn the lights on. Close your eyes.
Jack: (with his head under the covers) Where is she?
me: Oh I don’t know, move over again. (I shake out the blankets and she goes flying across the room). Here.
Jack: Thanks. I’m sorry. You sound mad.
me: Just tired that’s all. It’s okay.
Jack: (leaning over to see his clock) What time is it now?
me: Just go to bed!
Jack: All that back and forth and it only took 10 minutes. Not bad!
me: What are you talking about?
Jack: I usually make you go up and down for at least a half hour.
me: WHAT?? Are you kidding me?
Jack: Hahaha! I mean… SORRY!!!!
Jack wanted to read before bed. That means he wants to read his own book, while I read MY own book, while we both sit in MY bed. Then he tries to weasel his way into actually sleeping in my bed. It was a whole scene. Bambi eyes, the “I’m scared because I’m alone” story. Then he gets a mysterious stomach ache. I still told him “no” even though I toyed with saying yes. I have to pack for a short overnight trip to NYC tomorrow and I knew I’d be running around in the bedroom for a bit after he went to bed.
Therefore, after we finished reading, and Jack realized he had to go upstairs to his own bed, he got a bit cranky. He snapped his Encyclopedia Brown book shut and hopped off the bed.
me: All done with the book?
Jack: I closed it, didn’t I?
We headed upstairs and began the new routine of meds. It’s a chore. Jack has asthmatic symptoms that come out when he has a cold (he has a little one right now), or if he exerts himself too much, as in when he runs a lot. He also has some allergies (food yes, but also environmental) which make his breathing difficult at night. This kid has had a stuffy nose since he was 2 weeks old. Seriously. I pulled out the bag of goodies and I gave him the two different inhalers. Then I tried to open the allergy liquid bottle. The child-proof cap would not budge. It literally cut my palm. I muttered and cursed under my breath as I used more and more force to get the darn thing open.
me: (muttering some more) Why won’t this flarken thing open…GRRR…! Stinking child-proof cap lock!
Jack: Why do you get upset when something actually works?
(Wise old sage he is)
Now of course I’m going to say no. What would you say to a 6-year-old just before bed?
Jack: I’m scared of the dark again.
me: I thought you were okay with the nightlight and glowing planets on the ceiling?
Jack: That might be part of the problem. I’m worried about aliens.
me: Oh I don’t think you have to worry about something that isn’t real.
Jack: What about phantoms? Or phantom aliens?
me: Not real.
Jack: Why does my book talk about UFOs and the Bermuda Triangle then? Are they not real too?
me: I’ve never seen either of those things and I’ve been around a LONG time.
Jack: But the phantoms have the scariest face that’s sort of a ghost and sort of an alien.
me: Are you getting this from the Halloween catalogs that are piling up in the kitchen?
Jack: Yeah because why would they make a costume if it wasn’t of something real??
me: Just for entertainment of course! Did you see the human pizza slice costume?
Jack: (giggles) Yeah…
me: Do you think there are giant pizza slices wandering around the neighborhood?
Jack: Maybe? I mean, no. But pizza is a REAL thing. That’s what I mean.
me: Wait a minute. I thought you were Big Foot these days. So aren’t people afraid of YOU?
Jack: Oh yeah! I forgot. Ha ha! That’s you just doing your Mom thing again!
me: (I pat myself on the back…) Glad I could help.
Jack: I guess they write about aliens just to mess with our heads.