What exactly can I do when I’m 8?


me: You mean like what things will you learn between now and then?

Jack: No. I mean can I play M-rated video games, or plug things into outlets or get a dirt bike?

me: Probably not.

Jack: When I turned 7 you let me chew gum. 8 just has to be better than that.

(he pauses and thinks for a minute)

Jack: Can I see my birth certificate? The real one? It tells if you’re REALLY my parent, right??

me: Sighhh…