Which came first, the chicken or the bagel?

Jack and I are currently on a train heading into NYC for a concert (D Smoke, winner of the 2019 show Rhythm & Flow) If you haven’t seen it go watch it! I didn’t spoil it for you. Everyone knows D Smoke will win. He’s that good!

Because I knew we’d probably be skipping lunch I wanted to make a pretty good breakfast. We had scrambled eggs, potatoes, lox and cream cheese (mine in half of a red pepper, Jack’s on an everything bagel.) So good and so filling!

Jack was inhaling his bagel and a piece fell on his plate. I saw him pick it up and look at it strangely.

Jack: Hey what’s this, chicken?

me: What are you talking about? It’s a piece of the bagel.

Jack: No, look at it. I think it’s chicken.

So I took the piece of food from him, as I have been doing for 16 years lol, and saw it was a piece of bagel.

me: Jack, it’s a piece of your bagel with cream cheese on it.

Jack: Oh it looked like the dry chicken that you…

He saw my expression…

Jack: … you know… when chicken gets real dry, it looks like that.

me: Yeah good save. What I’m wondering is why your first thought is not that it’s a piece of chewed bagel but that it somehow became chicken…

Jack: How would I know, you made it.

Logic 100.

Pancakes Perfected

It only took 20 years. Well not really. It’s not like I make pancakes every week maybe once a month? Anyway, I’ve always loved to bake or cook things that look like baking… pancakes and French toast, etc. Or maybe I just like carbs.

I’ve perfected a few things according to my taste buds: chocolate chip cookies, apple pie, pumpkin pie, carrot cake, chocolate pudding and now the pancake!

Today was the day that I was going to fast. Seriously. I ate like three dinners. My family was over, and there was more food than you could even believe and I ate it all and it was great. Went to bed with a tummy ache and vowed to drink only clear liquids today. I really did mean it.

Until Jack and his friend asked for pancakes.

I have always loved Ina Garten, and her recipes are always ones I love to make. I even like quite a few Martha Stewart recipes and love to follow them to the letter to get the perfect result. (Always desserts, I’m not a good food cook lol) And, I also love food blogger Smitten Kitchen, since … forever. Since before Jack. When I had time to read and print and collect recipes for the perfect strawberry shortcake or the richest “oh my god this won’t last five minutes in your house” decadent chocolate cake. OR, the perfect pancake.

I started with a dozen different recipes. Traditional, old fashioned, healthy, vegan, my mom’s, and a few “famous” ones. I ended up basing mine on the Smitten Kitchen version frankly because the woman can cook and can write about food… and her description of these pancakes had me salivating for weeks and gave me visions of being the perfect hostess with the tastiest most fluffy pancakes on the planet. She’s that good.

The secret is actually using buttermilk. Which I never have. So, the other day I saw dried packets of buttermilk and I stocked up on 2 boxes! 4 pouches in each box, each pouch makes 1 cup of buttermilk. Loving life!

Jack: Only 2 please.

me: That’s it?

Jack: I have a headache, right here. (Points to his temple)

me: Awww, and these are soooo…. PERFECTED! I thought you’d want more…

Jack: Eh, I just don’t feel good.

(It’s our 3rd week of random different illnesses…sigh… and I really want him to hork these down!)

me: Ok more for me I guess…

Jack: Yep. Just like you ate all my M&Ms…

me: sigh… headache didn’t kill your wit…

Flashback to when jack was about 3… and was eating sub-par pancakes!

Oh how rude of me. We’re you looking for the recipe? 🙂

Try this:

2 cups flour

1 tsp baking soda

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp kosher salt

2 eggs beaten until fluffy

3 TB melted butter

2 cups buttermilk

1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk (or skim)

2 tsp vanilla extract

—- Heat griddle to 350 degrees

—- Combine all dry ingredients

—- Combine all wet ingredients, add melted butter last and very slowly

—- Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and mix just until combined. Keep it lumpy people!!!

I use an ice cream scoop for uniform sizing. Makes about 27 small fluffy perfect pancakes! Enjoy!!

10 Reasons Why We Like Pancakes

me: Pancakes for breakfast! Now tell me 10 reasons why we like to eat them for breakfast.

Jack: I want eggs for breakfast.

me: Sigh…

 

So I went ahead and made Jack “Grandpa Eggs”, which is just soft-boiled eggs cut up over toast. 4 and a half minutes of boiling, as Jack always reminds me. But since I had mentioned pancakes, I wanted some all to myself. Maybe I would have an egg with it. Or two.

I always hated hated hated my pancake recipe. I used a few cookbooks and they were all pretty much the same. I made sure to NOT over mix the batter, because lumps mean light and fluffy. My pancakes were always dry. Then I thought of Smitten Kitchen. Of course she had to have the best recipe in town. And she did. In my opinion. She adapted from the Martha Stewart cookbook, which also in my opinion has some great recipes.

Here’s the recipe.

Mix dry in one bowl, mix wet in another, then combine and VERY SLIGHTLY MIX KEEPING THE LUMPS. I add the milk to the bowl first, THEN the melted butter, then the eggs, so that the hot butter doesn’t scramble the eggs. Or you can let it cool down. But I’m usually in a freaken hurry when I want pancakes.

And here’s what mine looked like.

Not that pretty, but you will not care at all when you taste them. No need to put a pat of butter on top because they are buttery enough. And wait until you pull the leftovers out of the fridge. Seriously good with any kind of fruit preserve on top. Cold. Rolled up. Eaten while standing in front of the open fridge looking for the next snack.

Foto Friday – Eggs and Boobs

Made ya look!

First eggs.

Jack’s breakfasts are always interesting. We do at least 10 different styles of eggs that we rotate through, plus every kind of hot and cold cereal plus bagels, muffins etc. Eggs, however are Jack’s favorite. The cheesier the better. The leakier the better. Some people can’t handle it.

Jack: Can we have Grandpa eggs?

me: Not today, they take too much time.

Jack: You just have to boil them for 4 minutes!

me: Why do you know this?

Jack: Grandpa told me.

me: Sigh.

Scout Eggs

 

 

 

 

 

Egg whites and broccoli. Jack's absolute favorite!

 

As you can see, there is always a book present at breakfast. That hasn’t changed in the last few years.

And now for the boobies. Or as I like to call them “Cookies I delivered to Jack’s school for Valentine’s Day”. Anyone see the problem?

Jack: No one liked the sugar cookies with the … what do you call the decoration on top?

me: Uh… ?

Did we think the sh*t would stop at 7?

I think he’s ramping up. Fast track to 25, trapped in a 4-foot body with a big mouth. Whoops did I say that out loud? I know I know he gets the mouth from me. But am I really that … sarcastic? Me? I mean really, come ON! Oh yeah I’m totally sarcastic…pfffttt…not.

me: Do you want waffles and whipped cream again?

Jack: Until we run out that’s what I want every day!

me: Well it’s your birthday week so we can manage that. (I put two on his plate and pile em high with whipped cream)

Jack: (just looks at me)

me: What? Eat.

Jack: (holds up a waffle and clears his throat)

me: You’re not getting another candle if that’s what you’re hinting at.

Jack: And exactly HOW am I supposed to eat these?

me: With your mouth??

Jack: Mom equals get equals me equals fork.

me: Oh nice. How about asking the right way.

Jack: Did you understand me or not?

me: (warning look)

Jack: Puhleeaasssseeeee.

me: I just want you to speak politely to me.

Jack: Talking politely. Yeah. That’s not one of my strong points.

 

What did those Cheerios ever do to you?

We sat at the counter eating breakfast. Jack had a bowl of honey nut Cheerios and I had egg whites on toast. Hm. I watched him shovel the food into his mouth with loud smacking chews. I let him read a little Calvin and Hobbes while he ate, even though it went against my own rule of no reading at meals. (I know that one of my absolute favorite things is reading while I eat cereal. Why deny him this simple pleasure?)

Then he asked for a cereal refill. When he was almost done I gave him a straw so he could slurp up the rest of the milk. Instead he sucked up each of the cereal pieces and attached them to the end of his straw. Then he moved them over to a huge pile on his spoon with loud crane-like noises. A small pile started to form on top of the spoon. I had an idea where this was headed. But first, without missing a beat, and apparently while still reading his book, Jack turned his head and took a huge chomp out of my toast.

me: Heyyyyy, that’s my breakfast.

Jack: But it’s sooooo good!

me: How come when I ask if you want this for breakfast, you say it’s gross. I can make you your own eggs you know.

Jack: It tastes better when it’s someone else’s.

me: True. What are you doing with that cereal pile? (He had resumed moving pieces onto the end of the spoon.)

Jack: (glancing across the room where Ed lay sleeping) Nothing.

me: Uh-huh. You are not launching your cereal at Ed.

Jack: Awwww, you never let me have fun with my breakfast!

What sh*t does Jack say at breakfast?

1. After today you are officially my servant.

2. I hate being naked in the morning.

3. What’s funnier: A raccoon surfing or a hotdog riding a motorcycle?  …  How should I know, I asked YOU!!

4. Can I unlock your body, so I can get the shrink ray out and make me small…because you eat my toy planes and stuff.

5. Lift up your arm. Ewww gross! You should really shave again.

6. I’d like to shake the hand of the genius that invented that cat climber toy!

7. I peed on my undies just a little bit, but it will evaporate.

 

I forgot to mention, this is all from TODAY! Sheesh.