Friend: I had to take this test and it was like Why are the polar ice caps melting? … A. Global Warming, B. Earth Worms, C. Climate Change or D. We are getting closer to the sun. And it’s like A and C are totally the same!!!
Jack: Actually, global warming is a result of climate change.
Wow, so this is what it’s like to sit at a computer and type a blog post. I type 99% of my posts on my phone. Stupid gaming thumb pain… Stupid auto correct… Stupid not enough bells and whistles on the WordPress app… Stupid small screen that I have to turn sideways to see (sometimes…when it’s dark out.. ahem). Now I’m sitting luxuriously (see I wouldn’t use a big word like that on the phone. Too many thumb taps…) LUXURIOUSLY at my desk and typing pretty darn fast. Ha, no mistakes either. Or so I think…
My boy is home from NYC. Took the 1:04 train, or whatever, and got there around 2:30. I had a cheeseburger (hot off the grill) with ketchup, and a hard boiled egg waiting for him. Yep, he inhaled both. I don’t think he gets protein in NYC. Well maybe sometimes, but I knew he’d be starving.
As we drove, I told him about my morning laps around the school track. He grunted as he ate the burger in 3 bites and the egg in 2.
me: I just finished the story. Really?
Jack: Sorry. I wasn’t listening.
me: I SAID I did laps this morning around the track. It’s 1/4 mile and I did 16…so how many miles is that?
Jack: (blank stare)
me: Huh? (he’s super good at math, so this was like duh, easy)
me: Are you even listening to the equation? Each lap, quarter mile. Did 16. A quarter of 16?
Jack: Oh yeah, 4. Anyway I’m just too fast for math. I was already onto something else.
me: If you were too fast, wouldn’t you have at least gotten the right answer?
Jack: I would have to care…
Jack: By the way, you’re looking extra … MUSHY!
He reaches forward to try and grab under my arm, which I now know simply means he loves me.
I’ll take what I can get.
me: Jack, don’t forget your socks.. They’re in the door handle where you left them.
Jack: Oh look, I can use my socks to wipe up the lemonade I just spilled!
me: Sigh, come on…gross!
Jack: Don’t call me gross. Call me resourceful.
me: My butts asleep! We’ve been driving too long.
Jack: Not mine. Mine is active and happy!
me: You know, sometimes it’s nice to put the iPad away and look out the window. See what’s happening in the real world.
Jack: This is the real world. The minecraft world.
I bought Jack a Star Wars character flip book while he was away this weekend. I wanted to get him a little surprise since I was also away on business and I missed him a lot. He loved it and immediately flipped through it as we drove home.
Jack: This guy’s good. (Then he flipped and kept a running monologue on each character.)
A really good swimmer.
Jack: His name is Kitfitsto. It doesn’t show their species though. Let me flip through again. (The monologue and flipping continues.)
I definitely hate that freak.
Big head dude
Does she look human?
me: (I glance over my shoulder) Yeah.
Jack: Nope. Alien. Oh here he is! He’s from um a planet called gleeanselm…
This guys a destroyer
Awkward fat dude
Oh, here’s the other dude that’s strange!
Jack: Eh, enough interruptions. You don’t want to know…