I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “car ride

Quotes of the day … Heard in the car…

  Jack : That’s like the stupid Think Pads we use. They’re so old!!!! Like, cave men used them.


Friend: I had to take this test and it was like Why are the polar ice caps melting? … A. Global Warming, B. Earth Worms, C. Climate Change or D. We are getting closer to the sun. And it’s like A and C are  totally the same!!!

Jack: Actually, global warming is a result of climate change.

me: Nice.


Too fast for math!


Wow, so this is what it’s like to sit at a computer and type a blog post. I type 99% of my posts on my phone. Stupid gaming thumb pain… Stupid auto correct… Stupid not enough bells and whistles on the WordPress app… Stupid small screen that I have to turn sideways to see (sometimes…when it’s dark out.. ahem). Now I’m sitting luxuriously (see I wouldn’t use a big word like that on the phone. Too many thumb taps…) LUXURIOUSLY at my desk and typing pretty darn fast. Ha, no mistakes either. Or so I think…

My boy is home from NYC. Took the 1:04 train, or whatever, and got there around 2:30. I had a cheeseburger (hot off the grill)    with ketchup, and a hard boiled egg waiting for him. Yep, he inhaled both. I don’t think he gets protein in NYC. Well maybe sometimes, but I knew he’d be starving.


As we drove, I told him about my morning laps around the school track. He grunted as he ate the burger in 3 bites and the egg in 2.

Jack: What?

me: I just finished the story. Really?

Jack: Sorry. I wasn’t listening.

me: I SAID I did laps this morning around the track. It’s 1/4 mile and I did 16…so how many miles is that?

Jack: (blank stare)

me: Huh? (he’s super good at math, so this was like duh, easy)

Jack: 3?

me: Are you even listening to the equation? Each lap, quarter mile. Did 16. A quarter of 16?

Jack: Oh yeah, 4. Anyway I’m just too fast for math. I was already onto something else.

me: If you were too fast, wouldn’t you have at least gotten the right answer?

Jack: I would have to care…

me: Nice.

Jack: By the way, you’re looking extra … MUSHY!

He reaches forward to try and grab under my arm, which I now know simply means he loves me.

I’ll take what I can get.


I’ll tell you what to call me

me: Jack, don’t forget your socks.. They’re in the door handle where you left them.

Jack: Oh look, I can use my socks to wipe up the lemonade I just spilled!

me: Sigh, come on…gross!

Jack: Don’t call me gross. Call me resourceful.


Long car ride quote of the day

me: My butts asleep! We’ve been driving too long.

Jack: Not mine. Mine is active and happy!

Minecraft Style

me: You know, sometimes it’s nice to put the iPad away and look out the window. See what’s happening in the real world.

Jack: This is the real world. The minecraft world.

Flipping for Star Wars

I bought Jack a Star Wars character flip book while he was away this weekend. I wanted to get him a little surprise since I was also away on business and I missed him a lot. He loved it and immediately flipped through it as we drove home.

Jack: This guy’s good. (Then he flipped and kept a running monologue on each character.)
Bad (flip)
Awkward (flip)
Horrible (flip)
Awesome (flip)
Awesome (flip)
Weird (flip)
A really good swimmer.

me: Who?

Jack: His name is Kitfitsto. It doesn’t show their species though. Let me flip through again. (The monologue and flipping continues.)

I definitely hate that freak.
Big head dude
Does she look human?

me: (I glance over my shoulder) Yeah.

Jack: Nope. Alien. Oh here he is! He’s from um a planet called gleeanselm…

me: Oh.

Jack: (Monologue)
This guys a destroyer
Awkward fat dude
Funny guy
That’s it…
Oh, here’s the other dude that’s strange!

me: Who?

Jack: Eh, enough interruptions. You don’t want to know…