I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “cars

Moon landing, slavery, and a 7-year-old that needs some answers

Jack has been asking me some interesting questions…and he is genuinely interested in the answers. Plus, he will drive me crazy until I give him the details he wants.

Jack: Sooo, you were born 1 year BEFORE we landed on the moon?

me: Uh…Yep.

Jack: You didn’t get to watch it on TV then?

me: No, I was a tiny baby.

Jack: Eww! It was very important that we landed on the moon before it turned to 1970. I read that.

me: The president made a promise to the country that we would land in the 60’s so he tried really hard to make that happen.

Jack: Oh. Well he was smart then because it DID happen.

me: I guess so.

Jack: Were you alive when we had slaves?

me: No, that was a little before my time.

Jack: Well it wasn’t THAT far before you.

me: Thanks.

Jack: If we didn’t have the civil war, then there would probably be no more brown skinned people in the whole world right?

me: Well…  No…I don’t think they all would have disappeared. The civil war was about a lot of issues, not just slaves, but I guess that was the most important issue. Either way we’re glad that slavery ended.

Jack: But the war helped stop slavery right?

me: Yes, eventually it did.

Jack: If I was brown skinned I would be mad. But I would like Abraham Lincoln.

me: I can understand that. (I see his wheels are still turning)

Jack: Are we glad that we’re white skinned?

me: I never really thought about it like that. We can’t pick what we are, we just kind of show up and whatever color we are, well that’s what we are.

Jack: That’s just really weird…we should be able to pick… right?

me: I’m good with the way things are done now.

Jack: What about cars? Were you around when the first one was invented?

me: Grrrrr!

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Here in my car…

(Yes I’m humming the Cars song. How old am I?? Sheesh…)

Jack: Why do all the stupid people in the world drive everywhere??

me: Watch it with the S-word mister.

Jack: Sorry. It’s killing the earth. Why don’t you walk to the grocery store?

me: Still on this topic? We drive to get to places that are too far to walk.

Jack: The grocery store is only like 2 miles away, and you can walk more than that.

me: With 5 bags of groceries on my back and melted ice cream running down my legs?

Jack: Just borrow a shopping cart, they won’t mind.

me: Really. That’s your best idea?

Jack: We shouldn’t drive anywhere, just play at home and forget school and all that.

me: Mhm.

Jack: I think I can start your car with this magnifying glass, it’s small enough. Or my diary key. (It’s NOT a diary it’s a journal!!)

me: Don’t put anything in the ignition. You’ll break it.

Jack: Then I’ll make a key.

me: I said no.

Jack: Hmpffff…

me: I thought you were worried about cars ruining the earth, so why do you want to drive at all?

Jack: I don’t. I just want to start your car and hide it so YOU can’t drive it anymore.

me: Sigh…


The fate of humanity

me: Oh for Pete’s sake, this traffic SUCKS! (I’m hunched over the wheel telling anyone that will listen that I will not ever come back out here on a holiday weekend.)

Jack: (calmly from the back seat) I know why there are so many more cars on the road now.

me: Do tell!

Jack: Humans are slowly losing their ability to walk.