Glasses are cool when you’re 7. So is chess.

These are the glasses that Jack chose for himself. Blue Converse.

Jack doesn’t want to be a “geek”. We found out that he needed to get glasses, and his first thought was “I’m going to be a freak!”. How do you even have that thought at age 7. Then after a little time to think it over, he realized that he could pick out totally cool frames, and uh… actually SEE? So the glasses idea became much cooler in his eyes.

As far as the “geek” name goes…Jack would prefer to play chess over checkers, prefers reading to building a model airplane (I know because I built this little bitch this morning with no instructions! The fighter jet of course. And I had fun, because I LOVE to build things.), he knows VERBATIM, all of the Star Wars movies, and always asks me hard questions like “who’s worse, a battle droid or Jar Jar?” IDK!! Well Jar Jar annoys the P outta me. And he would sit for at least 4 days solid playing video games before he would start to notice the stench of his own filth surrounding him, and would possibly realize that he’s thirsty.

Anyway, I didn’t want to break it to Jack that he might be on his way to becoming a geek with or without the glasses.

Jack: The king goes on that side, Mom.

me: Oh.

Jack: I’m black and black goes first.

me: Naturally.

Jack: Okay, let’s cut to the chase and get this show on the road.

me: Now you sound like an old person.

Jack: Look at these moves! They’re awesome!

me: A modest old person.

(we play for awhile)

Jack: Sooo, I’ll just take your knight and this horse is going to MY training school and when I’m done he comes back BLACK. Hahahaha!

me: Sigh. Pay attention. I just got you in check.

Jack: You can’t get the Queen in check.

me: Huh? Oh… Sigh…

Jack: I’m already planning my counter attack. Hahahahaaaa!

me: I’m glad you’re having fun.

Jack: I always have fun when I win.

me: I know.

Jack: Heyyyy, you didn’t even realize that you moved your rook right into my line of fire. I’ll just blast him off the board!

me: Oh, how silly of me. (At that point I would have done anything to get the game over with just a little quicker. I was SO tired!)


These were my choice. But I think Jack’s new glasses suit him perfectly. Plus, he got to pick them out all by himself!

Conversations, Games

2 games of chess lost to a 7-year old

Yes he’s getting that good! I was surprised to see Jack picking up on some strategy, planning a move or two ahead, learning to “protect” one of his pieces from my potential next move against him. It’s Amazing to watch him learn…

I’m not exceptionally good at chess, I’m probably just average because I distract myself and hyper over-think my next moves. Plus, I just don’t care that much, haha. Jack, however, is really getting into it and sneaks up on me quite a bit. I’m past the stage of letting him win one of my pawns to make him feel good…now I have to watch my ass because he gets me in check and I’m starting to scramble. Very funny to see his progression.

Also, he likes to remember things his own way, which is sooo totally like me…

me: Remember, the king can only move one space at a time.

Jack: I know! I call him the British. Like that king. We beat him in the war against the redcoats so he’s slow and can only move one space.

me: Interesting…

Jack: The pawns are guards to me.

me: Yes they’re exactly like guards. They help protect the king.

Jack: I call the rooks the tough guys because they seem tough.

me: (laughing) You are too funny Jack… What about the queen?

Jack: She’s just the queen.

me: The knight?

Jack: He’s the “horse”. And don’t even ask me about this one…

me: The bishop? Why? What’s that called?

Jack: I don’t even know why we have this piece because when you turn it around it looks just like Miami undies!!

me: what the heck are you talking about?

Jack: Undies. That you would see in Miami.

(anyone wanna help me out with this…does the hat look like a speedo or something?)