I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “christmas

Merry Christmas! Quotes of the day…

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It’s a typical Christmas in our house. Knee deep in wrapping paper. I’m a little bleary eyed from staying up late and getting woken up before 6. Ugh. Jack got the Wii U and after setting it up the discs wouldn’t read. Nothing. Tech support forum says send it in for a replacement. Really? It’s Christmas Day! Then a few hours later it just started working. Go figure. But I have a happy boy now. 🙂

Here are some sparkling quotes and conversations that could be heard in my house today.

1.
me: I can’t believe that stupid disc just started working after all this time. A Christmas miracle.

Jack’s Grandma: I prayed for a Christmas miracle so that thing would work.

me: You prayed for a game, with people dying and everything…

Grandma: Yeah.

2.
Jack: Why does this book from Santa have a 20% off sticker on it?

me: Shit

Jack: I heard that.

3.
me: Mom did you read my blog? Jack learned a new word. Pooted.

Grandma: What’s that?

me: (I tell her)

Grandma: Isn’t that “sharted”??

me: Sigh

4.
Jack: Can I go to Alex’s house?

me: No, it’s Christmas. Maybe tomorrow.

Jack: Son of a business man.

Merry Christmas everyone!! 🙂

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Happy Holiday Phrases

I think this is my longest ever blog-free stretch… Sorry! Oh, Jack has been saying sh*t but I’ve just neglected to tell you. I know. I said I’m sorry.

It’s been a rough week in my part of CT as you all definitely have heard. Our holiday spirit was shockingly put on hold. We’ve done everything in our power to support and help our friends in Newtown and little time has been left to think of much else. We haven’t been able to celebrate Christmas in our usual manner knowing that so many friends lost so much. I hope you will all help me to remember the shooting victims by lighting a candle in their memory tomorrow afternoon.

Jack and I are currently at the mall trying to find any last minute things we need. He desperately needed clothes after the 3-inch growth spurt he subjected me to at the end of summer. Jack’s feet literally grew 2.5 sizes. He started school with size 2 and now he will find a very nice 4.5 under the tree. Crap, I have a lot to wrap…

We picked out some things for Jack’s friends and a lot of things for Jack to wear. Finally.

Here are some things you would have heard if you had come to the mall with us. No really. You should have. It’s awesome the day before Christmas Eve.

me: Jack, don’t you think Gavin will love his gift?

Jack: You picked it out. I was just walking along being miserable.

………………….

Jack: (flying a toy space shuttle along every surface and knocking things off shelves) Sigh. The “turbo” is pooped. My attempt to go forward fails miserably. (He drops the shuttle on the floor.)

me: What does that say on the side of your shuttle.

Jack: It’s a plane.

me: Whatever.

Jack: It says USAF? What?? Oohhh US Air Force duhhhh… My friend got a plane like this at the “HB” ya know… The “holiday boutique”, get it?

…………………..

me: Can I have a kiss?

Jack: Maybe you need to do a better job brushing.

me: Sigh.


It’s almost time for Ho Ho Ho…

Step away from the cookies!!

Jack is SUPER excited for Christmas this year. He of course still believes in Santa, and is at that age where he is SO anxious to wake up and get his presents that he can hardly fall asleep. I love seeing the wonder and belief in his eyes!

I tried to wrangle him upstairs while making sure he didn’t sneak any more sugary treats! We made my chocolate chip cookies for Santa this year. No sugar cookies. Bleh. I’m full of that from Thanksgiving. They were good, but I wanted something different. I mean… SANTA wanted something different. Heh heh.

My family is staying over tonight so it’s the first Christmas for that, and the first Christmas without Jack’s Dad here. We’re making a new tradition, I can feel it. Jack was extremely excited to have people sleep over and wake up on Christmas morning with him.

Right before Jack went to bed we put out 3 chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk for Santa. Jack Art Directed the arrangement. 🙂 Then he went upstairs and I got him (finally) into bed. My brother and I came downstairs, started eating the cookies and drinking the milk. Pitter patter of feet coming downstairs. GAH!!! Hide the evidence!! We were almost SO busted. SIGH!!!

Jack: Mom, I’ve been calling you!

me: Sorry, the dishwasher was on and I couldn’t hear.

Jack: I can’t sleep!

me: Jack, we just put you to bed 5 minutes ago. You have to give it time honey.

Jack: (plodding back upstairs) I’m having trouble breathing. (he coughs)

me: Okay, inhaler time. (we get that going)

Jack: My eye itches… (we get a wet paper towel)

me: Better?

Jack: My throat itches too… (Benadryl)

me: You did have some bumps on your lips, did you eat something funny? Maybe the glaze on the ham was weird?

Jack: Yeah, I feel allergic.

me: Its okay, just relax now and you’ll start to feel better and sleepy.

Jack: I’ve tried and tried but I just can’t sleep.

me: I know, it’s an exciting time. But you have to give Santa a chance to get here and deliver the presents, okay? Try and doze off.

Jack: Be warned, I might come out there to check the tree for my presents in the middle of the night.

me: No you won’t.

Jack: Sigh. Well, if I’m up at 6 I’m opening stuff.

me: 6:30. And you have to come get me first.

Jack: Sigh. It’s hard to wait that long.

me: Try and go to sleep while you listen for the sound of hooves on the roof.

Jack: (whispering) Really?

me: Yes, you’ll hear them tiptoeing across the roof trying not to wake you up.

Jack: (yawns) Whoaaaa….

me: Merry Christmas little man.

Jack: I love you. But can I just —

me: (interrupting) Not earlier than 6:30.

Jack: Aw man!

Jack said: I'm too old for writing letters to Santa. Then he proceeded to really attach 5 pages of things he wanted.

Proof (sort of) that I mailed Jack's letter for him.


Gift boutique and the art of buying presents

Jack’s school is having a gift boutique for a few days where they have lots of different gifty and crafty items for sale that the kids can buy for their family members. An envelope comes home, and we designate how much money our child can spend and on whom.

For instance, I gave Jack a budget of $20 to buy gifts for me, his dad, and his two grandmothers. $5 each.

Jack jumped off the bus with a big plastic bag jangling with goodies!

me: Wow, what’s all that?

Jack: My gifts from the gift boutique!

me: Oh yeah, I forgot all about that! What’d ya get?

Jack: A whole bunch of stuff, let me show you!

me: Well I don’t want to see my present if you want to save it for Christmas.

Jack: (stops) I ran out of money for your present.

me: Oh, but you had $5 for each person.

Jack: I didn’t know that. I thought I just had $20 to spend.

me: Geez I wish the teachers would explain what we wrote on the envelope. You didn’t see that?

Jack: No. But look! Fuzzy dice!

me: Wow. Who are they for?

Jack: I think for Daddy…he likes the Yankees.

me: Huh? Ohhh, Yankee fuzzy dice. Yes, that limits it a bit since there are a lot of Red Sox fans in our family.

Jack: Then I got this multi-tool!

me: For…?

Jack: Daddy.

me: Okay, that looks nice. Lots for Dad, eh?

Jack: And then this was for Grandma, but it says for the best Aunt, so I want to give it to Auntie Kim.

me: Did you get something for your Grandma’s?

Jack: (rummaging in the bag) Uh, no?

me: Sigh. Okay, I’ll give you a few more dollars tomorrow to get your two Grandma’s each a nice gift. Only for them though. You have to concentrate okay?

Jack: What about you?

me: Well, if you act like my sweetest boy ever, then I’ll be happy for Christmas. How’s that?

Jack: (pulls something out of the bag) Ta-DAAAA!!!! Well look what I found in HERE!! (and then in a French accent) Vould you like zomesing like Zees???

me: What’s that???

Jack: It’s for you!

me: You little stinker. You tricked me?

Jack: Yeah!

me: We’ll save it for Christmas. We can put it under the tree.

Jack: First we have to get a tree.

me: Yeah, we’re a bit behind this year…sigh…

Jack: Open it!

me: (always liking presents) Okay, thanks! (It was a really pretty bracelet with 2 X’s on it, with little diamonds) Wow, this is really pretty Jack! How did you know I’d like it!

Jack: It’s 2 X’s like kisses from me.

me: Awwwww….

Jack: You’re very hard to trick you know. Sometimes you just have to back off and let me do my thing.

me: Haha! So you had no trouble with the money and the counting?

Jack: It’s just like getting prizes at the arcade. You count down the tickets until none are left. Same with money. Every kid knows that.


And the Christmas Season is upon us…

…whether we are ready or not.

Decorations came out BEFORE Halloween this year. Remember? The Christmas music started actually Thanksgiving NIGHT on some radio stations. We can barely get through one holiday before starting the next. I don’t even think about Christmas or decorations or anything until the calendar at least says December. Unless of course it’s a warmish long weekend over Thanksgiving and I want to get a jump on the lights. Heh Heh.

We literally put up one strand on a light post. That’s it folks. Come and see it! Though ours isn’t synced to music like some of our neighbors. Really.

Jack and I drove home the other night from TKD class and saw the homes ablaze with festivity!

me: Wow Jack take a look at that house!

Jack: Well, that’s quite an extravaganza! I wonder what their electric bill is?

He made the disdainful clucking noise that older people make when they see wasted resources.

 

 

 


All I want for Christmas is…

Jack: There’s really only one thing I need from Santa.

me: What’s that?

Jack: It might take batteries, I think…

me: Did you hear me? I asked what it is?

Jack: No. I think you’re not supposed to put your mouth on it.

me: Sigh. Whenever you’re ready.

Jack: Because sometimes I just need to say things, ya know?

me: True, so is this thing a recording device or something?

Jack: That’s only for Santa to know. And this is the ONLY thing he needs to bring.

me: Really, the only thing?

Jack: But you still have to get me stuff.

me: Are you gonna tell me what it is because I’m going to move on…

Jack: You know how there’s always the ONE best present that you hope to get because you know you’ll always use it?

me: Sure, I guess…

Jack: Well then that’s it. Not the plastic kind. Do they make a metal kind?

me: I’m not really sure what we’re even talking about anymore.

Jack: It’s a megaphone. Don’t you listen to me??!!!

me: All I want from Santa is a bottle of Advil.

Jack: Ha! That’s not a real present.