Subaru Confessions

Subaru Confessions – being kind

Today I woke up to a sick child, cat puke on the rug (Ed!), a broken Santa ornament (Bella!), a wet carpet in the basement (stupid 4″ of rain!), and a bowl of eggs that I forgot to make into egg salad. Don’t you hate those mornings! There’s not enough time on a good day. Ugh.

Therefore I forgot to give Jack a shower, couldn’t fold the laundry to clear the dryer for all the wet basement towels and just realized I’m wearing tights with a run in them. 😦

But, as a mom, I always find time to teach a life lesson. Sort of.

(We missed the bus, needless to say, and I got to spend a few more minutes with Jack…)

me: I want you to do one unexpected kind thing for someone today. I like doing that! It makes people happy. Then you can come home and tell me about it.

Jack: I’m sure I can do one unexpected thing today, but it probably won’t necessarily be kind.

me: Jaaaack…(sigh).

Subaru Confessions

Subaru Confessions part deux

Jack: I’m not going in that building of DOOM!

me: It’s not doom.

Jack: Oh, like YOU’VE ever been in there for yourself!

me: Well not literally this building, but I have my own.

Jack: Well it’s not doom like this. And if that same lady comes in first…

me: Settle down, they’re just gonna look at you.

Jack: No shots?

me: No shots. Promise.

Jack: Even without a shot it’s still a doomed building.

me: I’m sure the doctor will love to hear that.


Jack: Mom, how did the first Mexican mom get born if Adam and Eve were American?

me: (?)

Jack: Oh, they must have had ALL the parts in them at the same time. To make like brown skin people and Mexicans and the Jewish people, because today’s their holiday you know.


me: Did you fold your uniform when we got home? I should have checked, but I seem to think you might have just flung it across the room.

Jack: Well, I started folding it and then I decided that I don’t have time for all of this. That would have wasted like 3 hours of play time.


Jack: Can you stop driving like 100 miles for an hour?

me: Per.

Jack: Huh?

me: Per hour.

Jack: Prower is NOT a word, so can ya slow down lady!


Jack: When we get home can I drive?

me: What? No you can’t drive.

Jack: You said if I had a good day I could drive your car.

me: I did not.

Jack: Yesss! You SAID “If you behave for me every day and have a perfect school year with no trouble, I’ll give you my car keys and you can drive.”

me: I was joking and we haven’t gotten through the whole school year yet AND you’ve been rude to me already today.

Jack: Hey, I can’t wait that long, so instead of driving around town, I’ll just drive up and down the driveway, okay?


Subaru Confessions

All of this happened in the car. Really.


me: How was your day?

Jack: Well, my friend was rude, so I was rude back.

me: And how did that help?

Jack: It made me feel better.

me: Maybe you should just walk away.

Jack: Then he was shooting me with his finger, so I shot him back. Then he hit me so I hit him.

me: How about you let your teacher know if someone is bothering you so much that you feel like hitting them. BEFORE you hit them. Even if they hit you first.

Jack: Mom, remember how you told me Do to others that I would have them do to me?

me: Yes…

Jack: Well, he was doing to ME what he wanted ME to do to HIM! So I did it! Sheesh.

me: Uh…


me: Geez, where are we? Did I miss the exit?

Jack: (shaking his head) Main Street! Look at the signs. I never knew of a mother that didn’t read signs.


me: So, do you still want to be a doctor when you grow up?

Jack: I want to operate one of those cranes that picks up the heavy things, ya know? (he gets a faraway look in his eyes)


Jack: Can I watch a video when we get home?

me: Maybe after dinner… I’m not sure if we’ll have time…

Jack: I wish we could watch a video!

me: I said maybe.

Jack: No, you said “If you wish it , you can make it happen” So I WISH I COULD WATCH A VIDEO!


Jack: This is weird.

me: What are you doing back there?

Jack: What makes my penis stick up like this?

me: (sigh) It’s full of blood. I guess it’s excited.


me: Sigh…