Pretty fat. Should I speak for myself? Maybe.
We’ve been eating a LOT of ice cream in the last month. Like every day just about. I gained 7 pounds REAL easy, and now I’m stopping the madness and hopefully it will drop off me overnight. Hahahaha!
Jack: (eating a cup of chocolate/vanilla twist ice cream covered in chocolate chips and sprinkles) Ahhhh, this is the life. Can I try yours? Is it safe??
me: (trying to hog my black raspberry cone with chocolate sprinkles) Really? You have a BIG bowl all to yourself.
Jack: (Bambi eyes). Please?? I’m your only son! And you’re too old to have more babies right?
me: Nice. Here try. No tree nuts. I promise.
Jack: Oh that is SO good. No wonder you get it every day.
me: And thanks for the reminder. Ugh. (but it’s sooo good)
Jack: (panic sets in) Oh OHHHH!!!
me: What??!! Does your throat itch? WHAT??
Jack: (tearing up) I wanted to, to, to order a m-m-milkshaaaaaake! WAAAAHHHHHH!
me: Really? Right here in the ice cream place you’re gonna have a fit? Jack come on. You have a nice cup of your favorite ice cream.
Jack: Return this!!! (he shoves his almost-gone bowl of ice cream at me)
me: No way! You ordered it and ate it. We can get a milkshake tomorrow. (and another cone for me. UGHHHH!)
Jack: I want it NOW!!!
me: And, we’re done. Let’s go. You can get it tomorrow I said. You can’t return eaten ice cream. Sheesh.
Jack: You won’t remember tomorrow!
me: Yes I will.
(tomorrow… which is today)
Jack: I’m ready for my milkshake!
me: Uh, I’m not feeling very well and I need to go home. I can make you one at home.
Jack: YOUR MILKSHAKES STINK!
me: Heyyy, calm down. You never even HAD a milkshake of mine. What the heck are you talking about.
Jack: Yes I did. Last week. And it stunk.
(sidebar: I think the last time I used the blender was last year, for smoothies, sigh)
me: Now you’re not telling the truth. Think about that.
Jack: (pitches a holy fit)
me: And guess what, now there’s no milkshakes at all.
Jack: (GASP!) But why?? Yours are SOOOO Good! I was only kidding!! WAAAAHHHH
See how my week has been going? Plus I still have those 7 extra pounds. School starts in a few weeks. Ahhhhh! Now I know why they play that happy Staples commercial with the Dad dancing through the store buying supplies for his kids. Starting to totally get that one.