I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “dinner

Boy vs. food and the bitter irony …

 
 
(There’s always a light switch or socket in my photos!)

Jack: Can I go to InSports camp again in the summer?

me: I think so.

Jack: They have the best food.

me: That’s what you’re thinking about right now? Haha…

Jack: This one kid once ate 6 tacos for lunch!

me: They let him eat all that?

Jack: You can eat whatever you want! The tacos have beef and sauerkraut… Wait I mean sour whatsit? Sour cream. And stuff. Soooo good! They call him Man versus Food!

me: Who?

Jack: The kid that ate 6 tacos. He was only in 3rd grade!

——————–

In other news, my ironic evening. Sigh… 

I was getting dinner ready and broke a glass on the floor. I cleaned it up pretty quickly and shook the rugs out on the deck to be extra safe. I then went outside to start the grill for the salmon I was preparing. Barefoot.

I stepped on the glass and there’s a piece in my foot right now. 😦    Isn’t it ironic? Dontcha think?

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Whatever it takes to get away from the table

Jack: Can I go to the bathroom?

me: Are you done eating?

Jack: Yes.

me: Okay go ahead.

Jack: (comes back laughing)

me: What??

Jack: This bathroom trick has been working for the last 3 weeks now.

me: What bathroom trick?

Jack: You always let me leave the table when I need the bathroom. But other times I have to sit here and eat one more vegetable or something dumb SORRY! like that…

me: Nice. How about you just eat what I make and then leave when you’re done. Does there always need to be a trick involved?

Jack: When you have a Mom that makes bad, I mean uhhh not that great dinners then yes.

me: Grrrrr…

 


Hot pineapple phone call

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jack: Hi Dad!

Dennis: Hey how was your day?

Jack: Pretty good. We’re going to Mommy’s class now.

Dennis: Oh…what did you eat for dinner?

Jack: (harsh whisper to me) What was that stuff called?

me: Pineapple fried rice.

Jack: It was pineapple fried rice.

Dennis: Sounds good.

Jack: It’s really not as good as it sounds because it had HOT pineapple in it. I mean really, who puts hot pineapple in FRIED RICE!? Sheesh…

Dennis: So you like your pineapple cold?

Jack: Yeah, the way it’s SUPPOSED to be.

(they finish up the call)

me: So you didn’t like my rice, eh?

Jack: Ummm…I did, just not the HOT pineapple.

me: Okay, no hot pineapple next time.

Jack: You know I really think we said HOT pineapple enough tonight. Why do you go ahead and make dinners that start to take over my life?


Rude Particles – yet to be discovered?

 

Image courtesy of "therudeguy.com"

 

Jack: Mom, can they remove my brain and put it in a jar of water and show it to me every morning?

me: (choking on my dinner) WHAA—TTTT?

Jack: Or just remove the rude particle so I don’t act rude anymore?

me: Do you think you were rude earlier?

Jack: (hanging his head) Yeah…

me: And how did dinner turn out after all that freaking out?

Jack: It’s really good! Can I have some more?

me: Sure. But I don’t think you need a rude particle removed…just chill out and things usually work out fine, ok? We always end up right here with you being happy after you eat. No need to be on the floor crying over dinner.

Jack: I thought I wouldn’t like it…(he starts shoveling in pasta with broccoli and chicken). This macaroni is so good it feels like I’m digging into a Big Mac!!

me: You’ve never eaten a Big Mac.

Jack: Well I heard that they are GREEEAAAATTT!

 

(And just because…interesting article! http://www.therudeguy.com/?p=632)


It’s all in the delivery

I wish I was talking about pizza. Because I am STARving right now. An extra TKD class tonight for me (got to break a board with my elbow) and then a mini workout in front of The Voice…go Javier! Now I could seriously damage a pizza. Sigh. Almost bedtime.

Jack is learning that it’s not always what you say, but how you say it. I always give him examples of how the exact same words sound totally different if I yell them at him, or speak them nicely with a “please” thrown in. I guess this is what he got out of that little discussion the other day.

Jack: (eating some pasta at dinner) Mom, which is better. This? (he gets a mean face on and practically yells at me) THIS DINNER IS AWFUL AND I WANT SOMETHING ELSE!!! (then he sweetly says) Or this? Mom, this isn’t my most favorite dinner, but I’ll accept it.

me: Number two sounds better.

Jack: (keeps chewing slowly and looking at me)

me: (wondering what he’s doing…) Heeeyyyyy did you just insult my dinner two different ways?

Jack: When you say things nicely, people don’t know you’re really being rude.