Phone Calls

Time for the hearing aid…almost…

Phone calls with Jack are always entertaining. And I mean always. If I’m listening to him talk to someone, I am thoroughly entertained by his side of the conversation. And if I’m on the receiving end of a call from Jack, well that’s just something else altogether. Sort of a cross between entertainment and me getting berated because I’m not a mind reader.

me: Hi!

Jack: Hi Mom! I called you.

me: I know. Sorry, I just turned the phone on. What’s going on?

Jack: Oh, nothing much, I’m at Dad’s.

me: Yeah? Having any fun?

Jack: Not right now.

me: Do you have some fun things planned for today?

Jack: (garbled) Maybe…

me: What? I couldn’t hear that…

Jack: (more garbling) Maybe!

me: Sorry, did you say Babies?

Jack: MAYBE!! (now the phone’s in his mouth)

me: Uh…(pause) can you move away from the phone a bit and try again, I can’t really hear you.

Jack: (from across the room) maybe…!!

me: How about closer than that. Sigh. Never mind.


me: Oh I heard you now. So maybe what? I forgot what the heck I asked you ha ha.

Jack: If you can’t hear on the phone, maybe you shouldn’t talk on the phone.

me: Nice. It’s the signal sweetie, sometimes it cuts out.

Jack: Don’t you know when I say Maybe I mean Maybe?

me: But I couldn’t hear you, so I didn’t know that. So what do you think you’ll do today?

Jack: (Big sigh…he ignores me out of frustration) Okay well love you miss you and see you soon!


Maybe I should just text him?


Baby Cheddar Goldfish = Entertainment

Just listening to all of this from the front seat of the car made me wonder…why do we ever spend money on toys?? Just throw this kid a bad of goldfish and he’s entertained for at least 30-40 minutes. Live and learn.

Here is the (sort of) running commentary from the back seat, after I handed Jack the opened back of crackers.

“Heyyy, who ate these? You? How many did you eat? Yeah, just a couple I’m sure you’re lying.”

(falsetto voice) “Don’t eat me, nooooo! I mean YES eat me!!” (regular voice) “Okay I think I will, CHOMP!! That was very good. How about your friends!!”

“MOM! Why aren’t you listening to me, I almost choked!! Cough Cough…I think I swallowed one whole!!! Oh, is it okay to swallow them whole?? (gagging noises) Why do I have to stop EVERYthing. I didn’t choke so what’s the problem??”

“Ohhh, whoops! Two went down the seatbelt hole…No, my hands aren’t small enough to get them. Oh wait, got one. (chuck) Hey how come you didn’t catch that Mom?? You’re only driving with one hand! Sheesh.”

“Pick Pick Pick, I love picking the goldfish out of my teeth. I could do that all day. Do you have a tissue? Now I have goldfish under all my nails.”

“It’s okay I flicked it on the floor, not the seat”

“Puff Puff Puff…this bag blows up great! I’m NOT popping it I was just checking to see if it blowed up good. Can I have it when it’s empty?”

“Here I’m done with these (toss). You still can’t catch very well can you?”

“Got any other snacks? I’m still hungry.”