Jack turned 17!

Happy 17th Jack!

And mom has not updated the blog. How did I get here? 🧐😫😵

We had a small family birthday dinner on Tuesday for Jack with a tiny little cake. His friend celebration is this weekend which includes a much better and prettier cake (peanut butter/Reese’s, his choice) and a day of skiing with friends. Therefore this was more of a symbolic cake hahah.

Jack art directed my photos, naturally. i got him a skateboard by one of his favorite artists, Vexx (go check him out on Instagram). His dad got him the Apple Pencil to go with his new iPad.

Jack: Mom, put the skateboard behind the cake like this. And then, no no no don’t aim at it like that you have to go like this.

He gets in front to demonstrate pretty much what I was going to do anyway.

Jack: then just get the candles and I’ll go behind it.

me: You done? Get over there because the candles are melting.

Dennis (Jack’s dad): Is glitter getting on the cake? I don’t want to eat melted glitter.

me: The glitter is edible.

Jack and Dennis: No it isn’t!

me: Sigh.

So I took the photo and we sang happy birthday. Well, I sang. Dennis scraped glitter off the cake.

And then we ate the cake and Jack hung the skateboard on his wall. He turned another year older as easy as that. Coincidentally he was born on a Tuesday so this brought us right back to a bunch of memories.

Before bed we watched Rhythm and Flow on Netflix. It’s a good show/contest about trying to find the best new rap star. I loved the series and had watched it in 2020 when I was home. Home a lot. I got Jack into it and he’s hooked. I won’t spoil the ending but we are going to see the winner perform in NYC next weekend and we are both so excited!!! Eeeeeeee!!! Though it’s in a Sunday night. Oh well. YOLO as Jack used to say a few years ago. You only live once!

When the show ended jack said he had to go study for a Spanish midterm. I started telling him about the day he was born and how he came 5 weeks early and how I didn’t get an epidural and his dad passed out, etc.

Jack: Well that took 45 minutes! I have to go study.

me: Well I guess I had to get that story out. Do you see what i went through? 2 days of labor. Birthdays should really be celebrations for the moms. Look at all the work I did omg!!

Jack: yeah that’s not happening. Don’t eat the rest of the cake.

me: Sheesh Jack.

And there you have turning 17. Driving. Prepping for midterms, finalizing college financial forms and waiting for acceptance letters to roll in. 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

Omg I almost forgot I have to update the blog header again! Someone remind me in the comments LOL!! oh, and Jack got an97 on that midterm. Yay!!

One smile!

Art director

From our hike last Sunday

War Crime aka Mom’s Cooking

I was packing a lunch for Jack this morning. Simple as that.

me: Jack, do you want a few saltine crackers with peanut butter as a side snack?

Jack: Why does my lunch have to be like we’re in the middle of the London Blitz?

Sigh.

(That’s a rowing pic from the race in Hartford 2 weekends ago)

Sh*t Jack’s Mom Said

That’s me.

Jack is currently in sunny Arizona with his dad, completely missing the destruction (some rain and wind) from Hurricane Henri. Thankfully it is not a lot worse here, but we were getting slightly worried as of yesterday afternoon. Or rather, I was getting worried. Jack was of course flying across the country. Once I saw that so many gas stations had 10 or more cars lined up in them, and many others were completely out of gas, I started to think… wtf.

I went to the store to make sure I had all the necessities (I really just badly needed romaine lettuce of all things), and saw that the bread and water aisles looked like last year’s COVID panic. I didn’t go in the TP aisle so I don’t know how that fared. But I can guess!

Jack went to NY on Friday. I had to work all day and he basically just had to pack and clean his room since he would be gone for a week, and then would be coming back with a day left to get ready for school. Yikes! Senior year! Anyway, I must have been in a weird mood, and said some weird stuff, but I didn’t think there was anything too out of the ordinary happening. I mean, I’m always weird, and he always says weird sh*t too so I was just doin my thang. I guess my thang is weird.

I don’t like the word “thang”, sorry.

I do remember hearing Jack comment a few times that day, after I would exclaim something or sing something or generally mumble to myself the way I usually do when I think I’m alone.

So what was I saying that could make Jack notice? Here are a few snippets.

I hate the word “snippet” too. I’m going to stop using both of those words starting now. My thang and my snippets use has just ended. Said no one ever.

1. Hey! I found the bag of cheese on my treadmill.
   Jack: Said no one ever. On this planet.
   
2. I be snappin’ my gum to the Kanye beat.
   Jack: Mom rockin out to Kanye with her doublemint.
   
3. I just skidded on a carrot across the hall.
   Jack: I’m hoping that was Moca’s.
   
4. Banana and cocoa powder and peanut butter, tastes like heaven from above.
   Jack: Or as I call it, poop from a butt.
   
5. Why is Ohio so sad?
   Jack: It’s Ohio.
   
6. Edit: thought of one more… I said “Did ya fill it past the click?” When Jack was pumping gas. He still makes fun of me about that one.

I know there are more, but that’s all I could think of at the moment. Jack has no interest in starting the Sh*t My Mom Says blog so I think we’re good for now hahaha.

The weather in CT right now from Hurricane Henri isn’t too terrible and we’ve been VERY lucky. Prepared for the worst and better to be safe than sorry. Etc Etc!

I hope everyone reading this is also safe and sound!

Jack interning a few weeks ago 🙂

I’ve been given some resolutions

I should’ve seen this coming.

me: Good morning! Happy New Year!

Jack: Happy new year! You get a massage! (He starts karate chopping my back)

me: Yay! That’s my New Years resolution. To get more massages.

Jack: I already have a list of resolutions for you.

me: You do? Okay let’s hear em…

Jack: Welll you should be nicer to me. That’s one.

me: Yeah I see where this is going.

Jack: Eat less calories. (He starts squishing my stomach)

me: Heyyy that’s all muscle!

Jack: Be less annoying. And learn to cook better.

me: Gee, thanks. What about your resolutions?

Jack: I’m only 8. Nothing’s messed up yet.

Even Sinbad gives parenting advice

Sinbad: How old is your son?

me: 8.

Sinbad: What’s the worst thing he’s ever said to you?

me: Oh man (my family cracks up) there’s so much to choose from… I guess I’ll go with “you’re annoying”.

Sinbad: What!? He said that to your face?? Let me tell you…if that boy was in a black family… He’d only say that one time.

me: (laughing)

Sinbad: So, what did you do for punishment?

me: (sheepishly) Um time out?

Sinbad: See?? You just gave that kid some uninterrupted time to sit there and think how annoying you are. Here’s what you do… Next morning when he comes down for breakfast tell him there’s no food, because you didn’t want to ANNOY him with it. See how he likes that. Do it again at dinner. After a week I bet he’ll stop saying that word to you!

(Everyone is howling with laughter)

Sinbad: Or, just duct tape him in the time out for two days because you didn’t want to ANNOY him with getting up and down.

me: (still laughing)

And later that weekend…

me: Hey Jack, remember the comedy show I went to? I got some good advice from the comedian on how to stop your backtalk. Wanna hear?

Jack: Oh great, what ANNOYING advice did the “funny man” give you…(he actually air quoted)

me: Never mind. Sigh.

I Am Undie Man!

me: Um, are you done in there??

Jack: Yeah. Can you —

me: (I interrupt) No, you wipe your own butt please.

Jack: (coming out of the bathroom, shirt off, shorts off, underwear half on) I am Undie Man!!!

me: (chuckling) Saving the planet in your undies?

Jack: (raises his hands over his head) No!! Undies halfway down, I am terrorizing everyone!!!

me: Sigh…