As it turns out he dies still say sh*t even while away at college 😂
Jack and I were talking on the phone earlier. He was getting ready to start packing for his spring break rowing trip and was debating whether or not to get some homework done before break or after, and then was worried about an egg sandwich he took from the dining hall.
Me: Dis you start packing yet?
Jack: No, I have time. I’m wondering if I should go do my homework at the Q center now to get it over with.
Me: That sounds like a good idea so you won’t have to think about it over break.
Jack: I’m not thinking of it at all.
Me: Well if you have time to do it then pack.
Jack: I’m more worried about this egg sandwich.
Me: Uh, what?
Jack: I took an egg sandwich from the dining hall and it’s going to sit here for a week.
Me: So eat it.
Jack: It’s cold.
Me: So heat it up! 🤨
Jack: oh yeah I could eat it now.
Me: Or wrap it up and take it in the van as a snack later.
Jack: I just said I’m eating it now.
Me: Sigh. Ok. Give your dad a call too before you go.
Jack: I would but you’ve been talking forever.
Me: Oy! Ok byeeeeee.
Jack: Oh wait I have to tell you this funny story. This guy was using the bathroom at work and the lights went out so he took a spooky dooky. Hahaha!
Me: Wasn’t that what happened to you last summer.
Jack: No it was some guy on Twitter.
And there you have it, the last mom son convo before Jack’s first ever spring break trip.
And mom has not updated the blog. How did I get here? 🧐😫😵
We had a small family birthday dinner on Tuesday for Jack with a tiny little cake. His friend celebration is this weekend which includes a much better and prettier cake (peanut butter/Reese’s, his choice) and a day of skiing with friends. Therefore this was more of a symbolic cake hahah.
Jack art directed my photos, naturally. i got him a skateboard by one of his favorite artists, Vexx (go check him out on Instagram). His dad got him the Apple Pencil to go with his new iPad.
Jack: Mom, put the skateboard behind the cake like this. And then, no no no don’t aim at it like that you have to go like this.
He gets in front to demonstrate pretty much what I was going to do anyway.
Jack: then just get the candles and I’ll go behind it.
me: You done? Get over there because the candles are melting.
Dennis (Jack’s dad): Is glitter getting on the cake? I don’t want to eat melted glitter.
me: The glitter is edible.
Jack and Dennis: No it isn’t!
me: Sigh.
So I took the photo and we sang happy birthday. Well, I sang. Dennis scraped glitter off the cake.
And then we ate the cake and Jack hung the skateboard on his wall. He turned another year older as easy as that. Coincidentally he was born on a Tuesday so this brought us right back to a bunch of memories.
Before bed we watched Rhythm and Flow on Netflix. It’s a good show/contest about trying to find the best new rap star. I loved the series and had watched it in 2020 when I was home. Home a lot. I got Jack into it and he’s hooked. I won’t spoil the ending but we are going to see the winner perform in NYC next weekend and we are both so excited!!! Eeeeeeee!!! Though it’s in a Sunday night. Oh well. YOLO as Jack used to say a few years ago. You only live once!
When the show ended jack said he had to go study for a Spanish midterm. I started telling him about the day he was born and how he came 5 weeks early and how I didn’t get an epidural and his dad passed out, etc.
Jack: Well that took 45 minutes! I have to go study.
me: Well I guess I had to get that story out. Do you see what i went through? 2 days of labor. Birthdays should really be celebrations for the moms. Look at all the work I did omg!!
Jack: yeah that’s not happening. Don’t eat the rest of the cake.
me: Sheesh Jack.
And there you have turning 17. Driving. Prepping for midterms, finalizing college financial forms and waiting for acceptance letters to roll in. 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
Omg I almost forgot I have to update the blog header again! Someone remind me in the comments LOL!! oh, and Jack got an97 on that midterm. Yay!!
Jack is currently in sunny Arizona with his dad, completely missing the destruction (some rain and wind) from Hurricane Henri. Thankfully it is not a lot worse here, but we were getting slightly worried as of yesterday afternoon. Or rather, I was getting worried. Jack was of course flying across the country. Once I saw that so many gas stations had 10 or more cars lined up in them, and many others were completely out of gas, I started to think… wtf.
I went to the store to make sure I had all the necessities (I really just badly needed romaine lettuce of all things), and saw that the bread and water aisles looked like last year’s COVID panic. I didn’t go in the TP aisle so I don’t know how that fared. But I can guess!
Jack went to NY on Friday. I had to work all day and he basically just had to pack and clean his room since he would be gone for a week, and then would be coming back with a day left to get ready for school. Yikes! Senior year! Anyway, I must have been in a weird mood, and said some weird stuff, but I didn’t think there was anything too out of the ordinary happening. I mean, I’m always weird, and he always says weird sh*t too so I was just doin my thang. I guess my thang is weird.
I don’t like the word “thang”, sorry.
I do remember hearing Jack comment a few times that day, after I would exclaim something or sing something or generally mumble to myself the way I usually do when I think I’m alone.
So what was I saying that could make Jack notice? Here are a few snippets.
I hate the word “snippet” too. I’m going to stop using both of those words starting now. My thang and my snippets use has just ended. Said no one ever.
Hey! I found the bag of cheese on my treadmill. Jack: Said no one ever. On this planet.
I be snappin’ my gum to the Kanye beat. Jack: Mom rockin out to Kanye with her doublemint.
I just skidded on a carrot across the hall. Jack: I’m hoping that was Moca’s.
Banana and cocoa powder and peanut butter, tastes like heaven from above. Jack: Or as I call it, poop from a butt.
Why is Ohio so sad? Jack: It’s Ohio.
Edit: thought of one more… I said “Did ya fill it past the click?” When Jack was pumping gas. He still makes fun of me about that one.
I know there are more, but that’s all I could think of at the moment. Jack has no interest in starting the Sh*t My Mom Says blog so I think we’re good for now hahaha.
The weather in CT right now from Hurricane Henri isn’t too terrible and we’ve been VERY lucky. Prepared for the worst and better to be safe than sorry. Etc Etc!
I hope everyone reading this is also safe and sound!
Sinbad: What’s the worst thing he’s ever said to you?
me: Oh man (my family cracks up) there’s so much to choose from… I guess I’ll go with “you’re annoying”.
Sinbad: What!? He said that to your face?? Let me tell you…if that boy was in a black family… He’d only say that one time.
me: (laughing)
Sinbad: So, what did you do for punishment?
me: (sheepishly) Um time out?
Sinbad: See?? You just gave that kid some uninterrupted time to sit there and think how annoying you are. Here’s what you do… Next morning when he comes down for breakfast tell him there’s no food, because you didn’t want to ANNOY him with it. See how he likes that. Do it again at dinner. After a week I bet he’ll stop saying that word to you!
(Everyone is howling with laughter)
Sinbad: Or, just duct tape him in the time out for two days because you didn’t want to ANNOY him with getting up and down.
me: (still laughing)
And later that weekend…
me: Hey Jack, remember the comedy show I went to? I got some good advice from the comedian on how to stop your backtalk. Wanna hear?
Jack: Oh great, what ANNOYING advice did the “funny man” give you…(he actually air quoted)
Sh*t My 6-Year-Old Says (but he's 18 now) 