Why 2nd Grade is Bru-Tal

Jack: Can we make absolute sure we make the bus tomorrow??

me: (warily) Whyyy??

Jack: Ohhh it’s a secret and I promised not to tell!

me: Remember you can tell your mom anything…

Jack: But I made a promise and you told me that’s important to keep.

me: Okay you’re right. As long as whatever is happening doesn’t get anyone in trouble or hurt. Those promises you HAVE to tell mom.

Jack: Welllll, they’re trying to not get seen doing it so I think it must not be good but if I tell you they’ll kill me!

me: How would they know?

Jack: How about you guess?

me: Does it involve kissing?

Jack: Gasp! How did you know that??

(let me interrupt my own post to say that I’m sitting in the train station waiting to go to Philly and the myriad conversations going on around me are just… Sigh… Here’s one. Lady1: oh my god! One of the three main members of the Beegees died! Lady2: Wasn’t there only one guy left?? Lady1: But this was the main main guy I think. Lady2: weren’t they all main? Lady1: Well Suzanne Somers died! Lady2: Nooooo! Well she looked GOOD! Lady1: Not anymore…)

me: Sigh.

So back to our regularly scheduled programming…

me: How about you? Are you kissing anyone?

Jack: Noooo!

me: Have any new girlfriends?

Jack: Mommmmmm it’s the same one…

me: Gigi?

Jack: (blushes) Yes.

me: No smooches?

Jack: Let me just tell you that the kids at her table are BRUtal! BruTALLL! That kind of stuff cant go on in 2nd grade with these kind of brutal kids hanging all around!