Here are a few stories from this week. It’s been quite a transition from middle school, to high school. (for me anyway!) 🙂
Jack: I have gym class now everyday. Whoof…I really need to get in shape.
me: We can get you back in shape in no time… we’ll go a few days a week to my gym… and you’ll be back in shape in a few weeks. Gym class every day will actually be so good for you. They should do that all year long, I don’t know why they only do it part of the year. So weird.
Jack: I think we’re playing basketball tomorrow.
me: Oh, cool. What did you do in gym today?
Jack: We watched a powerpoint.
me: Um… ok…
Jack: Oh and I need a lock for gym so my stuff doesn’t get stolen.
me: Ok, we can go get one after we go to the gym tonight. Wait, we have a lock in the drawer in the kitchen. Just use that one.
Jack: I don’t remember the combination though.
me: I think there’s a 7 in it and maybe a 9. Just try it and I think you’ll have muscle memory because you always remembered that combination before.
Jack: That was like 5 years ago. It’s not working. I’ve tried every combo… I need to get a new one.
me: Ok, we can go later.
(Later, after eating dinner out…)
Jack: Let’s just go to Stop and Shop instead of Walgreens, they’ll have more of a selection.
me: Ok, I need a few things there anyway so that works.
(In the store)
Jack: Well, I guess there are no locks.
me: Wait, here’s one. It’s the last one! Let’s grab it.
Jack: It’s green! I don’t want a stupid green lock. Besides I want the speed dial kind that you just push and not have to spend an hour twirling the numbers.
me: How do you even know that’s green? (he’s color blind) Jack, the dial takes 2 seconds. We’re getting this one just in case so you don’t have to go another day without a lock.
Jack: But this one’s tiny! Let’s go to Walgreens.
me: Sorry, I’m freezing and tired and it’s late and we’re going home.
Jack: (extended grumblings all the way home … not using this lock… not taking gym class… need a real lock… etc…)
(Later at home, Jack rips open the new lock to show me how tiny it is and how awful the color is and how hard it is to dial, etc.)
Jack; This one is terrible!
me: What’s the combination, I’ll do it. (Jack stares at me). What… what is the combo? (more staring… I turn the lock over and the combo sticker is still on there back). Sheesh Jack you coulda just told me. This one’s easy to open, you just go past zero and…
Jack: Oh! I’m going to look at the old lock again. (he fiddles with the old combination lock). I just had to go past zero, that’s what I was doing wrong…now I remember the old combination! 7, 23, 9!!! (or whatever he said)
me: Really Jack?!
Jack: Now I don’t need the stupid green lock after all. Hah.
(I look at the counter where the packaging looks as if wolves ripped it apart with their teeth.)
me: I need to return that one now Jack…Grrrrrr….
And in other school news…
Jack: Oh, Our science teacher got into a car accident.
me: What?? Is he ok?
Jack: Yeah he’s ok. He had a doctor’s appointment today so we had a sub.
me: Oh, was it a he or a she?
Jack: A he, and he made random weird comments through the entire class, especially when a plane went by overhead and he told us about how he has an army of squirrels.
me: What?!
Jack: Then he ran out of the room and never came back.
me: What???
Jack: Well he eventually came back. But by then class was over.
me: Um… Ok….??
I’ve also heard stories about how Jack’s band teacher has them show up to class but doesn’t do anything. So they sit around for a half hour until class is over. But hey, Jack is getting good grades, so I can’t really complain! 🙂
Sh*t My 6-Year-Old Says (but he's 18 now) 